Author's Chapter Notes:
This is Spock thinking of the past with his Jim Kirk. The episode with Lenore Karidian is called The Conscience of the King.
"Ready to resume course, Captain?" I remember asking.
"I think we're due for a pick-up." His response made me inquire what?
"What kind? Personnel? Cargo?" I had asked him curiously.
"Captain? A Miss Karidian has been transported aboard ship. She requests permission to see you." I remember Uhura stating who had beamed up.
"Tell her to come up to the Bridge, Lieutenant." Jim had responded in such a manner that my opinion was not welcomed.
She was very beautiful. A young woman, very troubled. But, also very dangerous. She had killed, and she would not have hesitated to kill again.
Was my only motive back then for the safety of my friend, or was it something else. It troubled me so much, that I even asked the chief surgeon for advice. What had he seen in her? A lost soul, corrupted by her father's past.
I realized that on further reflection, so many years later, it was jealousy. I experienced a surge of jealousy. That he would look at her instead of me. All the women he fell in love with, I believed none would do him justice, because they were not me. They could never fill his mind with happiness as I did. Never.
But, I never told him how I felt. And I have lived with it, for an eternity.
And now James Kirk lives again. But, it isn't him, and yet it is. And I am so old now. Do we not all deserve a second chance at missed opportunities, regrets.
Am I selfish in wanting that second chance? Should it belong to the other Spock? Should I interfere with his involvement with Nyota?
So many questions, and where do I find the answers...