A/N Hi all. Because of the upcoming boxing match, told from Seth and Jacob's POVs, this chapter turned out to be very long, therefore, I separated it into two chapters. So, now it's very short compared to all the others. I considered excluding this portion, Leah's POV, but she really had some explaining to do. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10

Leah

A person can't love somebody one day then not love them the next. It's just not possible. If it were possible, it couldn't have been a genuine love. And I believed Sam loved me—deeply and truly loved me. The immersed glow I'd observed on the occasions he'd confessed those wonderful, special words made it impossible for him to deny.

I got that I made a mistake, and he was mad at me, but it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. He just needed some time ... a few days to realize that it was just a stupid incident. And the sharp, throbbing spasm of pain I felt in my head that came with the slightest movement of my body would keep me from ever repeating it. I was even breaking out in cold sweats, trying to keep from gagging on nothing.

I spread the thick, cotton washcloth out over my palm, turned on the cold water, and held my hand underneath it for a little while before slapping the icy, soaked rag on top of my head as I slowly lay back in the bathtub, letting the cold wetness drain down my scalp, neck, and face. My head hurt too bad to worry about Sam's assertion for the moment.

Sighing and moaning, relief was nowhere. Barely mustering enough energy to slosh myself out of the tub, I crawled over to the toilet, dripping water all over the red brick-patterned linoleum floor and dry heaved as quietly as I could, until some disgusting, yellow fluid from my dehydrated, nauseous stomach made its way out of my mouth. I felt like I was dying.

When I toweled off, wiped up the floor, got dressed, hauling myself out of the bathroom, I met Jacob in the hallway.

"Good. You took a shower!" he snipped, his voice loaded with confrontational sarcasm.

I pushed my way past him, holding on to my aching head. As if I wasn't feeling tortured enough as it was, he followed me into my bedroom, refusing to realize my ignoring him meant I wanted him to leave me alone.

He wouldn't go away easily, nor did I really deserve for him to. The sooner I got the tirade over with, the better. "I'm sorry, Jake," I murmured, finding my way to the bed, sadness and regret already threatening tears from my eyes.

"Leah, what the hell were you thinking?" He glared, disappointment and anger clear on his scowl. "What the hell would you have done if Bella and I weren't there?"

Weary, I frowned, without a single ounce of fight in me. There was no excuse for my idiocy—no acceptable defense. I attempted to explain why I took the drink, anyhow. "I wouldn't have done it if you weren't there, Jacob. Honest. I felt safe enough to try it because you and Bella were there."

Regardless of how ridiculous my reasoning sounded coming from my lips, after the fact, my claim was essentially the truth.

"Pfft ..." He huffed, with a roll of his eyes. "Don't give me that crap, Leah. Do you realize how much trouble you could have got us all into?"

I closed my eyes and hung my head in shame, wondering how I could have been so thoughtless, especially after I had promised him I wouldn't do anything stupid.

Everyone seemed as if they were having so much fun, though. I didn't think a few forced down gulps of the nasty tasting mix Emily gave me would hurt me, and they didn't. Not at first. I kept waiting to feel some difference, but I kept taking more gulps when that difference didn't come soon enough. All at once, the next thing I knew, I was sloppily hanging all over Sam, barely able to hold myself up, if even that.

"All because you're too mentally weak to just say no," Jake rambled on, sounding every bit the parent as Harry and Sue.

He was right. I was too weak to say no. I let the condescending eyes ogling me—for not drinking—pressure me. I guess I really just wanted to fit in, to be part of the crowd. Oh. I became part of the crowd, all right, the worst part of the crowd. I was the entertainment and the joke of the night. Why didn't I just leave?

Each remark Jacob made lifted the guilt inside of me a little higher up my throat. "I've been out there a few times. You didn't see me getting drunk, stumbling all over the place, and puking my guts out!"

I squeezed my eyelids closed and quietly uttered, "I know, Jake." My shame sent tears dripping down my cheeks. I buried my head in the palms of my hands to let him finish his rant, supposing it justified his anger. He quieted once I sniffled.

"Leah." His tone was gentler.

I lifted my head, wiping my eyes.

"You better never do that again," he ordered, giving me a hard stare. "Sam better never take you out there again. He got lucky this time!"

"Don't worry. He won't," I assured, unable to control the breaking of my voice as I stretched out on my stomach, flat against the bed. I couldn't hold back the sorrow any longer, and I burst out crying. "He dumped me, Jake. He doesn't want to see me anymore. He said he didn't want the 'baby-sitting' responsibility."

Jacob blinked, and his scolding facial wrinkles eased away.

"And whatever you're thinking of saying, Jake, don't. I don't want to hear it!" I sobbed, glaring. I was projecting some blame over my hurting on him, but I didn't care. "I wish you'd just leave."

I doubted he had any words of comfort for me, anyway. He never liked me going out with Sam. No one did. The thought everyone would be happy to hear the news of our break-up stung, a lot.

Jacob dropped his gaze to the carpet. "Sorry, Leah, but you're right. I have nothing good to say." He lifted his head. Despite his words, I could see he wasn't void of compassion as he offered his uninvited opinion. "Sam's almost eighteen. He really is too old for you."

The silent tears fell harder. Burying my head in my arms while I listened for the door to close behind him, I let them fall free.

After a few more moments had passed, it occurred to me the sounds of his presence continued. I peeked back up. Jake was leaning against my dresser with the oddest smirk curled on his lips. "Besides, according to you, you love someone else."

Jasper with his arm around me flashed in my mind. I stiffened with recollection and gasped. "Oh, my freakin' ... I remember!" I wailed.

Flipping over onto my back, I had the intention to sit-up, until the sharp pang of my hangover stabbed me in the brain, forcing me to hold still and relax on the bed. I reached for the pillow sitting beside me and smothered the visible humiliation burning in my face, horrified.

Jake's subtle chuckles increased to full-blown laughter, bringing more bits of the night, pouring into the broad daylight of my consciousness. "Oh, no! What am I going to do now?" I questioned myself out loud, hating my senselessness even more and trying to find a comforting thought to help me save face the next time I saw Jasper. "He has to know I wasn't in my right mind."

"As the wise, once well-versed on-the-subject-matter, Billy Black has spoken frequently, 'drunken words are sober thoughts,'" Jake recited, speaking in the voice of his dad. Then he guffawed without remorse.

Embarrassed, I followed with my laughter. It took my mind off Sam. "Okay. Give me a break now, Jacob," I pleaded, giving him a smile as I stewed in my embarrassment.

He literally gave me a break when he told me not to worry about it. Jasper understood my mindless intoxication, and he reminded me that Jasper, also, never had the fortune, or misfortune, depending on how you might look at it, of hearing Billy's wonderful words of wisdom.

"Did you talk to Bella this morning?" he asked, on a more serious note.

"Yes ... She tore into me, too!" I revealed, glum.

"Did she tell you anything else?"

"Just a little," I said, sure of the conversation about to follow.

"Did she tell you I kissed her?"

Live excitement sparked from him. I rolled my eyes. He was worse than Bella. But even though I wasn't in a joyous mood, I decided the least I could do—after letting him down and virtually getting us grounded for life—was to rise above my self-pity for his sake.

It also tempted me to tease him a little and make him sweat. They planned to keep it a secret from everyone, and here they were both champing at the bit to spread the word, after less than only twenty-four hours. I narrowed my eyes. "No. She never told me you kissed her."

He flinched, getting a puzzled maybe-Bella-didn't-want-Leah-to-know straightness to his face.

I held my face expressionless, slowly finishing with: "What she said was ... that you guys made out!"

He flaunted a huge grin, and I was glad to see him with so much happiness—Jacob and Bella both. But I quickly remembered and imagined the appearance of Seth's devastation hovering over the horizon.

"Are you going to tell Seth?" I asked, hearing noticeable sorrow in my question.

He nodded then sighed, frowning in worry. "Not until after the boxing match next weekend. I'm supposed to be helping him train for it, and that won't happen if he's pissed-off at me. I don't want to mess with his head before a match, especially not this one."

I fully agreed with Jake's intentions because every La Push boxer was passionate about the hometown win. They gave their all during the yearly, local match. It was one of the few times they could showcase their skills in front of all the people they knew. The boxing gym had existed in La Push forever, and most of the dads and grandfathers boxed at one time, or another themselves. Boxing was huge around La Push; the entire community, and a large Forks crowd, showed up to support them, and the guys always made it well worth anyone's time to attend.

"That's a good idea." I moaned, rubbing my temples in pain again, physical head-hurting pain for myself and emotional heart-hurting pain for me and my brother.

I gave my word to Jacob though, and I planned on abiding by it. Bella and Jacob had waited long enough for this relationship and deserved it. Once I had experienced first-hand how it felt for people to interfere with my love life, I decided no person had the right to stand in the way of two people who wanted to be together, two people I knew were in love—not even my brother.

I pushed away, or attempted to push away, the new feelings of misery arching up inside of me I didn't want Jacob to see, which I'm sure he didn't want to see either.

As Jacob was about to leave the room, he turned to me and said, "It hurts, doesn't it? Uh ... you and Sam," in a way that led me to believe he could see the gloom I was trying to hide versus the idea that he may have been speaking from his own experience.

I shook my head up and down, even though half of the pain he was witnessing on me was coming from thoughts of Seth's soon-to-be-damaged heart and pride. I hoped he assumed it was my heartache written all over my face.

"Sorry," he said, then closed the door behind him.

I lay on my bed after he left, thinking about the conversation I'd had with Seth about Bella just weeks before Jacob came home.

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel already? Kiss her and tell her how you feel now."

"I will when the time's right. What? You think I'm worried about her going out with that douche, Mike Newton? I could see she doesn't really want to. I just don't understand why she is. But I bet you know, don't know?"

"Who knows why she does the things she does," I countered, mentally kicking myself for opening the conversation up to the very line of questioning I had tried so hard to avoid.

"Whatever," he snapped, then added a softer, "I really think she likes me though."

He looked into my eyes with questions, and I answered honestly and with a smile. "I think she likes you, too." I added the words, but she loves Jake in my mind and frowned deep inside of me as I spoke them.

Whether Bella realized it, she had an attraction to Seth. It was just buried deep beneath a thick layer of intense Jacob-love. I had observed enough close interactions between those two to know this to be true. Lately, Seth had been spending more time with her than even I had been. They treated each other with such caring closeness, plus always being chipper and laughing when in the other's company.

Seth had a sense of it, as well; it's the reason he couldn't give up. I had been hoping he'd buck up and call her on it before it was too late, but her behavior could be baffling. It was no wonder why he didn't. Her actions didn't always match her words, and her words didn't always match her feelings. Not that she was dishonest; she just wasn't always in touch with her inner Bella. She kept guys away with her indecisiveness and body language. I think it was part of some defense mechanism she had.

I came to believe Jacob could also see this attraction between her and Seth when I sometimes caught him staring at the two of them with jealous eyes, which I assumed, was the reason he backed off for as long as he did. That was all over now.

Being twins, Seth and I shared pages of firsts together, and if Sam didn't make up with me soon, we were about to share another one. The simple realization brought a new flow of tears from my eyes. Sam has to forgive me. It was the only way I could be there for Seth one-hundred percent. I brushed my tears away, reminding myself that Sam loved me, then closed my eyes and floated off to a nap.