A/N: Surprisingly I had to do some research for this chapter due to the fact that there are some obvious differences being a paralyzed female from being a paralyzed male. I'm pretty sure my medical information is accurate but I apologize if it isn't.
About forty-five minutes later, there's a knock on Finn's door.
"Hello?" Finn says sleepily.
"Come in," Carole says.
A tall man with dark hair in his early thirties walks into Finn's room. "Hi, you must be Finn. I'm Pete, your occupational therapist."
"Hey," Finn says in an obvious uninterested tone; he wishes he could just go back to sleep.
"Hi, I'm Finn's mother, Carole Hummel," Carole says.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hummel," Pete says.
"You can call me, Carole."
"Okay," Pete says. "Anyway, Finn, I was looking through your chart this morning and I saw that it looks like you got a head start on some things yesterday. How are you doing with self-catheterizing yourself?"
"Okay; I mean, sometimes it takes me a little bit to get it in, you know, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it," Finn says.
"That's good; if you want I can give you some tips that might make it a little easier for you."
"Yeah, sure; I have to cath soon anyway."
"And you started your bowel program last night too, right?"
"Yeah."
"And everything went okay with that?"
"Yeah, I don't yeah have that again though till tomorrow," Finn says.
"I know, I just wanted to make sure that everything went okay with that too," Pete says. "Anyway, I was thinking we could work on some basic personal care stuff today; such as showering and getting yourself dressed."
"Okay."
"I'm guessing you probably haven't showered since you've been here, have you?" Pete asks him.
"One of the nurses helped me rinse off in the shower the other day, but other than that no."
"Then why don't we start with that today."
"Sounds good, I'm sure I could use a shower."
"That's for sure," Carole says teasing Finn.
"Thanks, Mom," Finn says sarcastically.
"Anyway, I'll get out of here so you guys can get to work. Do you know how long you'll be?" Carole asks Pete.
"It'll probably take close to an hour."
"Okay, well, I'll see you in a little bit, sweetheart," Carole says as she gets up from her seat and heads towards the door.
"See you, Mom," Finn says as his Mom walks out of his room.
"So are you ready to get started?" Pete asks as he walks over to close the door to Finn's room.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says.
"Do you think it'll be easier for you to get undressed while you're still here on your bed?" Pete asks.
"Yeah, probably, that's the only way I've changed my diaper so far," Finn says.
"Okay, you can go ahead and do that then," Pete says.
Finn then takes off his hospital gown and hands it to Pete. He then grabs a blue pad and some wet wipes from his nightstand table. After he takes off his diaper, he hands it to Pete to throw away.
"You seem to have that down pretty good," Pete says after he throws Finn's diaper away.
"Yeah, I'm getting there," Finn says.
"You need some help getting into your wheelchair?"Pete asks him.
"Uh, yeah, I still can't do my own transfers yet."
"I'm sure it won't be too long before you physical therapist starts teaching you how to transfer yourself."
"I hope so; I'm sick and tired of needing people to help me do everything."
"Well, I'm here to help you learn how to become independent."
"Yeah, I know; it's just frustrating, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I'm sure it is," Pete says. "It's going to take some time, but you will eventually be able to do almost everything you could do before your accident."
"Yeah, my Mom and stepdad keep telling me that too."
"Well, they're right," Pete says, as he takes another blue pad out of Finn's nightstand drawer and sets it on his wheelchair. "Anyway, are you ready for me to put you in your wheelchair?"
"Yeah," Finn says.
"Okay," Pete says as he picks Finn up and sets him in his wheelchair. "You okay?" he asks him.
"Yeah, I'm good," Finn says. "I just need to get a catheter and stuff; it's about time for me to cath," he says as he grabs a catheter, a pair of latex gloves and the box of wet wipes out of his nightstand drawer.
"I'm glad to see that you're already keeping track of when have to cath."
"Yeah, well, I just want to stop having to wear a diaper during the day ASAP," Finn says.
"I don't blame you, but Finn you have no reason to be embarrassed about any of this; loss of bowel and bladder control is unfortunately one of the side effects of a spinal cord injury."
"I know, it's just…I don't know…never mind," Finn says as he starts wheeling himself to the bathroom.
"Finn, look, I hope you know you can talk to me about this stuff. I mean, yeah, as your occupational therapist I'm here to mainly to help you learn how to become independent, but you're welcome to ask me any questions you have or if you just need someone to talk to so you can vent out all your frustrations, I'm here for that too."
"Thanks, but I'm fine," Finn says trying to convince himself as well as Pete that he's fine, as he wheels himself into the bathroom.
After Pete helps him transfer from his wheelchair to the toilet, Finn quickly caths himself and Pete then picks him up and sets him down on the shower chair in the shower.
"Now there are few things that will make showering a little different for you now," Pete says after helping Finn getting situated in the shower.
"You mean other than the fact that I now have to take a shower sitting down?" Finn asks sarcastically.
"Yeah, look, seriously, since you can't feel the lower half of your body you need to check yourself for pressure sores, especially your legs and feet, and the easiest way for you to do that is to check for them while you're in the shower. It's also important for you to realize that you sweat differently now, because of your injury this means from the waist down your body won't sweat. Now this might sound like a good thing because it means your feet won't have that 'stinky feet' smell when you take off your shoes, but it's also somewhat dangerous. This means you have take extra care of the lower half of your body. Along with checking yourself daily for pressure sores, every time you shower you need to make sure you wash yourself thoroughly. The last thing you want is to develop some type of bacterial or fungal infection. "
"Okay," Finn answers sincerely. Although he personally hates that he's going to have to take all of these extra precautions, he also wants Pete to know that he's listening and is taking what he's saying seriously.
"Okay, well, here's soap, shampoo, conditioner, and a washcloth for you," Pete says handing them to him. "You think you'll be able to wash yourself? Does the shower chair give your back enough support?"
"Yeah, since I'm leaning against the back of the shower chair I don't think I'll have to worry about losing my balance," Finn says.
"Okay, well, I'm going to let you wash yourself then, but I'll be right out here if you need anything," Pete says as he closes the shower curtain in an attempt to give Finn some privacy.
"Thanks," Finn says as he turns on the shower. As he sits there on the shower chair going through the motions of washing his hair he realizes how something just as simple as taking a shower is going to be a lot more complicated from now on. This is what my life has become, he thinks to himself. Never again will I be able stand in the shower and just let the warm water run over me. Instead, from now on I'll have to sit on a shower chair and will only feel the water against my body from the waist up. Damn it, Hudson, stop feeling sorry for yourself! What the hell is your problem? You know it could be worse; it could be so much worse. He picks up the washcloth and the bar of soap sitting beside him; he realizes what his problem is, that in spite of having the results of his MRI he still has so many questions. Questions like: What will Quinn think if she finds out I don't even know when I have to go to the bathroom? Can I even have sex? Can I have kids? How am I going to get around once I get home? My room's in the basement. What am I going to do about school, Dr. Siegel said I'm going to be here for at least four to six more weeks; school has never been something I've been good at so how the hell am I supposed to keep up with all of my classes? And what about Glee Club? Regional's is in 6 weeks & I can't miss that! Once again he realizes that worrying isn't going to help anything, so he finishes rinsing off as quickly as he can. "Hey, uh, Pete, I'm done then," he says as he turns the water off.
"Okay," Pete says as he grabs a towel and then opens the shower curtain. "Do you need me to help you dry off or anything?"
"Uh, yeah, actually I probably do since I can't stand up."
After Pete helps him finish drying off, he picks him up and sets him in his wheelchair. "Are you okay?" he asks him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, but, um, can I ask you a question?" Finn asks.
"Sure."
"Can, uh, can I, um, can I still have sex?" Finn asks, slightly embarrassed.
"You probably can, eventually; but it's not exactly going to be like it was before because you won't be able to feel anything physically. And it might not always be able to happen when you want it to happen, if you know what I mean," Pete says, he can tells Finn's embarrassed to be asking him about this, but he also knows it's important to be honest with him.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Finn says unable to hide his disappointment. In other words, I'll have the exact opposite problem of the one I used to have; instead of getting turned on too easily, my body won't always respond when I'm turned on.
"Look, if you end up having problems with being able to have sex there's always things you can take for that, like Viagra."
"I won't even be 17 for almost two more months, there's no way in hell I'm going to tell my parents that I might need to take Viagra; besides my Mom doesn't even know I lost my virginity…and I'd prefer to keep it that way. Guys my age typically have the opposite problem and get turned on too easily and now you're telling I might not be able to...to perform sexually? Wait a minute," Finn says, interrupting his own thoughts. "When one of the nurse's helped me rinse off in the shower the other day I had a boner…since I couldn't feel it I didn't realize I had one until I looked down and saw it; but that means I can still have sex, right?"
"That's definitely a good sign, but just because you're able to get an erection doesn't mean you'll be able to maintain one for very long; especially since you can't feel it it'll make it harder for you to control. Right now the best thing for you to do is not to jump to conclusions and if in a few months you're still having problems than you might want to talk to Dr. Siegel about it; but just give your body some time to heal for now."
"Okay," Finn says. "Um, thanks, I've had these questions for a few days now, I just didn't really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff. I mean my stepdad, Burt, is pretty awesome, but I was afraid he'd say something to my Mom about it. You're not going to tell my Mom I'm not a virgin are you?" he suddenly asks nervously.
"No, of course not," Pete says. "Anyway, why do we go ahead back out to your room? I saw a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt lying at the end of your bed; why don't you try getting yourself dressed."
"Um, yeah, I tried that yesterday and it didn't exactly work out really well," Finn says as he pushes himself back out to his room.
"What do you mean by that?" Pete asks as helps Finn get back on his bed.
"It only took like an hour for me to get a damn pair of jeans on," he says as he puts a new diaper on himself.
"Well, the only way it's going to get easier is to keep practicing," Pete says as he hands Finn his "McKinley High Football" t-shirt that's lying at the end of his bed.
"Ugh," Finn says groaning as he sits up and puts on his t-shirt.
"Hey, come on, I know you can do it," Pete says as he hands Finn his gray sweatpants.
"Fine," Finn says as he takes his sweatpants and begins trying to put them.
Twenty-three minutes later, Finn finally has his sweatpants on.
"Awesome job," Pete says. "See I told you that you could it."
"Yeah, it still took almost a half an hour though," Finn says.
"Like I said, the more you practice, the easier it'll be to get yourself dressed."
"Yeah, I know."
"How are you feeling?" Pete asks Finn.
"As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm completely exhausted," Finn admits.
"That's not ridiculous; you cathed yourself, took a shower, and got yourself dressed. You should be proud of yourself; you accomplished a heck of a lot for just your first day," Pete says.
"Thanks," Finn says.
"Why don't we go ahead and stop today for today, besides your mom should be back before too long anyway," Pete says.
"Sounds great, I think I need to rest before I start physical therapy anyway," Finn says.
"Good, you need to rest, it'll help with your recovery. Anyway, I'll see you then same time tomorrow morning," Pete says as he heads towards the door.
"Okay," Finn says. "And Pete, thanks for answering my questions and stuff."
"No problem. If you have any other questions or anything, feel free to talk to me," Pete says. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow," Finn says as Pete walks out of his room.
GleeGleeGleee
"Hey, Q, what are you still doing in that Cheerios uniform?" Coach Sylvester asks Quinn as she's grabbing her books from her locker at the end of the school day.
"What are you talking about?" Quinn asks her.
"Well, I just assumed that you skipping practice yesterday was your way of saying that you've chosen Glee club over the Cheerios."
"Well, you assumed wrong!" Quinn says defiantly. "The reason I missed practice yesterday was because I was at the hospital visiting Finn."
"Well, how very thoughtful of you," Sue says sarcastically. "Now, listen here, Q; normally if anyone would skip practice just days before a competition I'd kick'em off the squad. But you're lucky I'm in a good mood today and I'm willing to give you another chance."
"Thank you, Coach Sylvester."
"But if you ever miss another practice again, you're off the squad; no excuses!"
"Actually, I can't be at practice again today-"
"I'm going to forget what you just said, because I can't imagine that the captain of the Cheerios would even think of skipping practice two days in a row, especially the week of Regional's," Sue says interrupting Quinn.
"But Coach Sylvester, Finn, my BOYFRIEND, is in the hospital. He's paralyzed, he just found out this morning he'll probably never walkagain, he's-"
"Oh, boo hoo hoo," Sue says sarcastically. "Like I said if you skip another practice, you're off the squad."
"You know what, you just made my decision so much easier. You won't have to kick me off the squad when I don't show up at practice today, because I quit!"
"Fabray, you just made the worst decision in your life," Sue says. "This might even screw up your life even more then getting knocked up last year."
"Really, because I think I just did something I should have done a long time ago," Quinn says as she begins to walk away.
"Hey, Q," Sue says stopping her. "I expect your uniform back on my desk pressed and dry-cleaned first thing tomorrow morning."
"Not a problem," Quinn says as she walks away, feeling a lot better than she had been all day.
GLEEGLEE
"How was physical therapy?" Burt asks as Finn wheels himself back into his hospital room.
"Exhausting," Finn says.
It's now mid-afternoon and Finn's just finished his first session with his physical therapist, Lauren. Although the entire hour was spent evaluating his upper body strength and determining what his injury affected in order to try to determine if he might be able to gain anything else back and to figure out what exercises would be the best for him to do to ensure he doesn't lose of the abilities he still has, he still is completely exhausted.
"Apparently, thanks to football and basketball I already have great upper body strength, but I need to continue lifting weights and stuff since I'll have to pretty much depend on my upper body strength to do everything. I also found out I can only sit up for twenty-seven seconds without any back support because I don't have full use of my abdominal muscles. My therapist, Lauren, though says that over time I'll probably be able to sit up for at least a little longer. Tomorrow she's going to help me learn how to do my own transfers and also wants me to start lifting weights to make sure that my upper body doesn't get out of shape."
"That's good; I know you really wanted to work on being able to get in and out of bed on your own," Burt says, pleased to see that Finn's in much better spirits than when he left to go back to work after their meeting with Dr. Siegel that morning.
"Yeah, it'll be awesome to finally be able to do that myself. Even better though, I won't need someone to help me transfer from my wheelchair to the toilet every time I have to cath."
"Yeah, I'm sure that will definitely allow you to have more privacy."
"I'm definitely looking forward to that; I'm so tired of having to have people help me go to the bathroom," Finn says.
A few minutes of awkward silence fill the room. "Burt, what am I going to do when I get home? I won't even be able to get to my room unless you, Kurt, or my Mom carry me downstairs; I mean I guess I could always get to our room through the garage, but…"he says, trying not to sound as worried as he actually is.
"Finn, you don't need to worry about any of that right now. Your mom and I have talked about that and Dr. Siegel's suggested that we talk to one of the hospital's social worker's to discuss how to make our house more accessible for you. As you know, your mom and I also were already talking about moving, that way you and Kurt can each have your own room; that's still a possibility too, it'd just have to be a house that's only one floor. Like I said, you let your mom and I worry about that stuff, you just focus on getting better."
"Okay," Finn says. " I think I'm going to close my eyes; all that stuff I had to do for my PT evaluation wore me out, can you help me get back on my bed?"
"Sure, he says as he then picks Finn up and helps him get into his bed. "Your mom should be here in a few hours, so we might both be here when you wake up," Burt says.
"Sounds good," Finn says as he closes his eyes and within minutes he's fast asleep.
GLEEGLEE
Twenty minutes later though there's a knock at Finn's door. "Hello," he says, sleepily as he tries to force himself awake.
"Come on in," Burt says as Quinn walks into the room.
"Uh, hey, Quinn," Finn says surprised to her. It's not that he isn't happy to see her, because he definitely is , it's just that he hadn't expected her to come visit him today.
"Hey, babe," Quinn says as she walks over to Finn's bed. "What's wrong?" she asks him, noticing the nervous/stressed look on his face.
"Nothing's wrong, I just am surprised to see you."
"Didn't you get my text?" she asks. "I texted you a couple hours ago and told you I was going to stop by after practice."
"Sorry, I haven't checked my phone since before lunch because I was so exhausted after occupational therapy this morning and I just got back from physical therapy," Finn says as he pushes the button on his remote to sit his bed up and then grabs his cell phone off the nightstand. Sure, enough he has a new text message:
From: Quinn Frabray
To: Finn Hudson
Time: 1:12pm
I'm sorry to hear that, babe. But please don't give up because I know you can do anything you put your mind to! I'll stop by & see you this afternoon then after Glee.
"Yep, I got it," he says as he sets his phone back down on his nightstand.
"Sorry, about that; I just assumed since I didn't' hear back from you that it was okay for me to stop by, but if now isn't a good time I can come back later," Quinn says.
"No, you don't need to leave, I'm done with both OT and PT for the day," Finn says quickly. "Besides, I missed you," he says as he goes to kiss her but he then realizes that Burt's still in the room and stops himself from kissing her. "Ahem," he says clearing his throat, hoping Burt that will realize he wants to spend time with Quinn alone.
"Okay, son, I get it," Burt says laughing. "I'll let you and Quinn spend some time together alone…but the door stays open," he says as in a joking but also half-serious tone as he gets up from his chair.
"Burt," Finn says unable to stop himself from blushing, "I'm in the hospital, you definitely don't have to worry about us trying to do anything here."
"Yeah, Mr. Hummel, don't worry, you can trust us," Quinn says.
"I know I can," Burt says. "Anyway, I'll be back in like twenty minutes, is that okay with you guys?"
"Yeah, that's fine," Finn says.
"Okay, well, I'll see you guys then," Burt says.
"Bye," Finn says as Burt walks out of the room. "Sorry about that," he says to Quinn.
"What are you apologizing for?"
"I don't know," he says, unable to help himself from smiling. "But, now that Burt's gone, I can do this," he says as pulls Quinn down to his level so he can kiss her.
"I guess I'll have to get used to bending down so you can kiss me; that'll definitely take me some time to get used to since I'm used to having to practically having to stand on my tiptoes just so I can kiss you," Quinn says laughing.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Finn says trying to force himself to laugh and make light of the situation.
"Are you okay? You're acting like your nervous about something; or are you just embarrassed that you tried to kiss me in front of Burt ?"
"No, no, that's not it all; I just wanted to be able to spend a few minutes alone, just the two of us. Anyway, I'm fine, just a little tired …because somebody interrupted my nap," he says teasing Quinn.
"Oh, yeah, sorry about that."
"Its fine, seeing you is definitely worth having my nap interrupted," he says, as he takes Quinn's hand and motions her to sit down beside him on the bed. "I know it probably sounds ridiculous, since we just saw each other yesterday; hell, we haven't even been back together for a whole day yet, but I missed you today," he says as he kisses her gently on the lips.
"Guess what?" Quinn says.
"What?"
"I missed you, too," she says, kissing him back. This kiss is different though from the rest, the first had been gentle and sweet; this one though is full of passion and before she realizes it her tongue is inside Finn's mouth. Fireworks! Quinn thinks to herself, as crazy as it sounds she honestly sees fireworks; she's so happy she feels as if she might explode with glee. I forgot how amazing this is.
Suddenly there's a knock on the open door of Finn's room and his nurse for the day, Sarah walks into his room.
"Hey, Finn," Sarah says. Although Quinn quickly gets up off Finn's bed, their embarrassed faces say it all and she realizes she's interrupted a somewhat private moment between the couple.
"Uh, hey, Sarah, Finn says. Great so not only does my nurse walk in on me making out with my girlfriend, but she came in here to help me because it's time for me to cath again . "Sarah, this is my girlfriend, Quinn. Quinn, this is my nurse for today, Sarah," he says, praying that Sarah doesn't embarrass him in front of Quinn by saying that it's time for him to cath.
"Hi, nice to meet you, Quinn," Sarah says. "Uh, Finn…" she says not wanting to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend, but also wanting to make sure he knew why she's here.
"Yeah, I know," Finn says stopping Sarah from saying anything else. "Uh, um, Quinn, Sarah's gotta help me do something quick, do you mind leaving the room for a few minutes. I promise this won't take long."
"Uh, sure, no problem," Quinn says, still slightly embarrassed that Finn's nurse walked on them making out. "I'll just wait out in the hallway then until your done," she says as she gets up and walks out of Finn's room.
As Finn's takes off his diaper and gathers his supplies together so he can go cath, he can't help but think: Can this get any more awkward? What am I supposed to say to Quinn when she walks back in here? I'm sure she probably at least has an idea about what Sarah's helping me do. I know I should probably tell her; I mean she's my girlfriend; she deserves to this know; she's probably going to have to know eventually. But what am I supposed to say to her? Like, "Oh, yeah, not only can I not walk, but I don't know when I have to take a piss so I have to catheterize myself"? Or, "Oh yeah, my junk doesn't really work , so we might not be able to ever have sex," ? I know it's only fair for her to know this stuff, but I don't know if I can tell her this, at least not yet.
A/N: Okay, so I know this is sort of an abrupt way to end a chapter & that it's kind of a cliff-hanger, but I promise the next chapter will pick up right where I left off. I ended the chapter here for a couple of reasons: The first is that this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written! The other reason is that I haven't made up my mind yet if I feel is Finn is ready to have such a serious discussion with Quinn. Yeah, they have a history together but they've only been back together for a day & I can't see Finn tell her such personal information yet. Anyway, I would love to hear from you guys as to how you think Quinn should find out about these types of side effects Finn has to deal with now, so PM with your ideas. Also I've almost finished writing the next chapter of my other fanfic, No Matter What and hope to have the last two chapters or so completely written in the next few weeks.