Chapter 10

Dante was proving to be the world's worst patient. Even Lulu was losing patience with him. It was a challenge to even keep him in bed, despite how much he was suffering. Dante would have preferred to spend his recovery out of the hospital, in the privacy of Lulu's apartment. He was uncomfortable and thought if he was somewhere else, while it wouldn't alleviate his discomfort, he could at least get some sleep. Instead he was stuck in the hospital where every few hours some nurse was in taking blood, changing his IV, or asking him if he was ok. He couldn't sleep in the hospital and even when he did, manage to drop off, he would invariably be jolted awake by a nightmare, the same nightmare he'd been having since he'd been shot. He was starting to dread falling asleep as every time he did, he would only wake up in a cold sweat, his heart racing, his insides twisted in knots and his body raked with pain.

"Dante, wake up" Lulu shook him slightly to bring him to consciousness. "You're having another nightmare?" She said, running her fingers through his soft hair as he shook off the last vestiges of the bad dream. She had been sitting at Dante's bedside for more hours than she could count and she had become disgustingly familiar with the signs. Lulu tried not to push Dante to reveal what his nightmares were about, but she knew that whatever the cause they were interfering with his ability to rest and recover. As she sat watching him, she debated whether she should add to his concerns by telling him that Dr. Lee was now demanding for those blood tests that Lulu had earlier pushed aside. She didn't want to burden him, but at the same time, one of the things she valued most in their relationship was their honesty with each other.

Dante half-opened his eyes and tried with a half-hearted grin to hide his noticeable discomfort. "I'm ok, feeling much better," he quipped.

Lulu wasn't buying into it any longer. She needed to know what was going on inside Dante's head. "Sorry, officer," she tried to be funny, "I've watched you enough this week, I know something is bothering you. I've tried not to push you, but I do know you're tormented, both physically and mentally. I need to know what's going on so I can help you and you're going tell me." Lulu wasn't going to be ignored any longer. She had other worries besides Dante's recovery now.

Dante knew he couldn't hold out any longer either. "I haven't ever experienced this kind of pain in my life before, Lulu. There's no way to get comfortable or rest. On top of that, I can't seem to sleep here because either the staff is awaking me up or these damn announcements wake me. I'm so tired…" he was doing his best to avoid her interrogation but still be truthful with her without adding more worry.

Lulu stared at him for a moment and then crawled into Dante's bed. Most of his wires and tubes had been removed, so it was easier for her now to settle next to him and hold him. She didn't care anymore about whether Epiphany would come in and tell her she wasn't allowed to be in his bed. They needed each other; they drew their strength from one another, not just emotionally but physically. Lulu knew that Dante needed her like this as much as he needed any of the medicines that the doctors were providing him. Dante was a bit surprised, but once she got settled, they pulled each other close. Lulu took her hands and cupped Dante's face between them. She kissed him so lightly, but lovingly on his lips. She pulled back and smiled at him. "So, you gonna tell me about the nightmares?" Lulu asked, letting him know that she had noticed that he had left out that part of the answer he had given her earlier. He said nothing, but as she looked into his eyes to search out his hell, she could see the fear in his eyes. Something she had rarely seen in his eyes, and only when it pertained to her. He never seemed to worry about himself, but her, he would lay down his life to protect. She knew this about him and while she would fight to keep him from ever making that sacrifice, she also loved that unbending devotion. She pulled him closer to her and embraced him tightly to let him know everything would work out. Their next kiss was more passionate.

Dante responded hungrily to Lulu's caress. He began to grab her to pull her on top of him, when all of a sudden, he cried out in agony, and froze, his breathing coming in short gasps. For a moment, he had forgotten where he was and what had happened to him. He just wanted her. She overwhelmed him; she always did, for a brief moment all he could think about was Lulu and being with her. He had been thinking about being at home in bed with Lulu and the reality of his situation had faded for a wonderful, but too brief moment. Unfortunately, while his mind may not have registered he was in no physical condition to make love to her, his body sure had. But still to be close to her, to feel her soft skin next to his, to smell the scent of her was more than enough for that instant.

Lulu jerked away, when he yelled and questioned "What are you thinking? Are you crazy? You've just had major surgery in the last ten days, you can't be doing this!? Are you ok?"

"I couldn't resist your animal magnetism" Dante responded, trying to be funny, to deflect his stupidity of trying to seduce her.

"Dante, you are avoiding my questions, all of my questions."

"Well, Cupcake, what am I supposed to think when you crawl into my bed? Epiphany has already warned you about that."

"You are still avoiding…" her voice trailed as Lulu started to climb out of the bed.

"Ok, ok…" Dante grabbed Lulu by the hand, showing her he wanted her to remain beside him. She acquiesced and settled down next to him again, her hand idly drawing circles on his chest.

Dante begin to tell Lulu about his nightmares, as much as he didn't want to. "These dreams aren't normal. The events leading up to my being shot are the same, but instead of living, I'm dead. I can see myself above everyone. I can see the misery I've put all my loved ones through with my job, my undercover work; but the worst part of it? It is seeing what it has done to you and the baby. At one point, right before I wake up, you are holding your stomach screaming in pain; you're crying and saying you're losing the baby. That's when, I wake up." A bead of sweat had formed on Dante's forehead as he recounted his nightly horror. "I don't know what I would do if that were truly to happen. I just need to get out of this place and get somewhere I can relax, keep you safe and sleep in your arms again."

Lulu knew she also couldn't hold onto her secret any longer. It would only be harder on Dante if she tried to hide the tests and then found out something was wrong. "Well, if you can come clean, so can I." she told him. Dante turned his head and stared intently at her, giving her time to find her voice.

Lulu was remarkably calm. "Dr. Lee has ordered blood tests on me and the baby. She believes because of my fainting spells…" Lulu looked at Dante's eyes to see what she could read into them "I may have the same medical condition as Carly and yes, I've had more than one fainting spell."

Dante's stern look made her stress level go up, but she continued. "Dante, take a breath. I know what you are thinking."

Dante wasn't sure if he was really hearing Lulu right or if he was imagining the whole thing. His agitation wasn't just apparent in his eyes as one of the monitors still attached to him responded by increasing the tempo of its previously steady beeping and another set off an annoying warning alarm that would soon have a nurse at the bedside.

"Now Dante, after everything I've been through recently, it would be surprising if I DIDN'T faint. But what you have to remember is that, this baby was conceived, albeit accidentally, from the love between us. This baby is resilient, I can already feel it. I mean, it's a Spencer after all, and a Falconari and the one thing I know for sure about both our families is that we are stubborn to a fault. And we're fighters. There is someone growing inside me and it is so much bigger than us. When I was trying to figure out what to do if a transplant was necessary; it was as if the baby was speaking to me, willing me to be strong. If the tests show I have the same sickness that Carly did, well, I'll do whatever it takes. This baby and I can handle it. I mean if Carly can have a healthy baby after a kidnapping and giving birth in a cabin alone, then I'm sure we will do just fine by following Dr. Lee's orders and giving birth in the safety of a hospital. I promise you I will do nothing to put either of us at risk. But you have to do the same. You have to get better and not put your recovery at risk."

Dante knew Lulu was right. Lulu had the strength to see this pregnancy through. She wasn't the same person she described to him during one of their talks a few weeks ago. Lulu had confessed, if that's what Dante wanted to think of it as, when she told him about her past with Dillon, Logan and Johnny. It was one of the hardest things Lulu ever had to tell but Dante knew that Lulu had needed to say it and he needed to hear it. When she was finished, Dante had held her and while he would have liked to have spared her all the pain and heartache she had endured, he knew deep down that had she not gone through that crucible, she would not have evolved into the person she was now. The person he had fallen in love with heart and soul. Lulu wasn't a porcelain doll or a fragile child any longer. Maybe she never had been and it was their over protectiveness that had put her on the path to doubting herself. He was happy Lulu had struggled through those tough days to become a strong, independent woman. By growing up, she became his partner, someone Dante could work side by side with and who he trusted with his life.

Dante pulled Lulu, with whatever energy he had left, as close as he could to him. "Miss Lesley Lu Spencer, you walked into my life when I least expected it. I wasn't looking for you, but you took my breath away from the first day we met. I wouldn't want to change one thing about you. I trust you and know you will do the right thing for you and our baby."

Lulu exhaled and gave Dante a reassuring kiss. "I'll schedule the tests with Dr. Lee for later today. If it's ok with you, I would like to call Olivia to have her go with me since you're still chained to this bed. She has been a major source of support for us since this has happened. I need her here since I cannot have my own mother."

Dante understood the bond Lulu needed, but missed, with her own mother. He was proud she felt such a connection to Olivia to include her in their lives. Dante had always thought that his mom was a great mother. She had sacrificed so much to ensure that Dante had a wonderful life. A life filled with a huge extended family, tons of love and laughter and good times, and not one overshadowed by the violence and danger that he knew would have been his world if she had been honest about who his father was all those years ago. Yes, on some level he was still angry with her about keeping his father from him, but when he awoke from surgery and saw the agony in his mother's eyes, he knew exactly why she had done it. He was living proof of the love she had shared with Sonny and her wish to preserve the good qualities in him that only a young Olivia had bothered to see. How could he hate her for that? And now, with his own child on the way, he was not sure that if he had been in her exact situation, he would not have done the same thing – sacrificed everything for the love of his child.

Dante pulled Lulu close and closing his eyes rested his head against hers. "I think she would really like that" As much as he wanted to get out of that bed and be with Lulu for the test, he knew she would have the next best thing going – his mother.

Olivia took the call from Lulu while she was on her way to see Sonny at his home. She told Lulu she would meet her at the hospital as soon as she could, but first she needed to talk to Sonny. When Olivia arrived at the house, Sonny met her at the door. Olivia's radar was immediately on high alert as Sonny seemed a little too upbeat, like the proverbial kid in a candy store. She had seen him like this before, back in Bensonhurst all those many years ago before Sonny had turned into a far different and darker person. As she entered the mansion, she heard the rumble of what sounded like furniture being moved across the floor. Olivia her eyes squinting at Sonny, turned her head, said "What are you doing?"

Sonny wasn't going to hide it with small talk. "I'm redecorating the west wing so it will accommodate Dante, Lulu, the baby... and you. I would like for all of you to move in when Dante is released from the hospital. I mean, you and Lulu can actually move in sooner if you want, you can even help decorate so it's to your liking. But I understand if you want to wait until Dante is released and you all come together." Sonny said, his words spilling out at almost a manic speed.

Olivia didn't know whether to be surprised or angry. "What makes you think any of us would want to move into this house?" she asked defensively. "I have a perfectly good apartment that Dante can stay in while he recovers and if he doesn't want to stay with me, Lulu has an apartment for them." Even though Olivia would have preferred for Dante to be with his mother while he recovered, she understood why she would never insist on that happening. She also knew she wasn't the person Sonny had to convince to move here. "Sonny, you do understand, you can't make up for the lost years. You can't make him love you."

Sonny understood what she was saying; he just didn't want to accept it.

Olivia continued, "Dante isn't going to make this easy. Plus, I can't say he's too happy with me. Our last conversation wasn't too pleasant. He actually threw me out of Lulu's apartment."

"Well, I can certainly understand why" Sonny snapped.

Olivia wasn't going to hear his cutting remarks. "Look, Sonny, we've been over this. I did what I did, what more can I say? Instead of rehashing the past, maybe we, as a new family, can figure out the future. We are going to be grandparents soon. We have to start mending bridges before the baby gets here."

Sonny just stared at her as if her words had no impact. She couldn't help but wonder how or when Sonny was going to realize that this was one situation that all of his mob power and demanding ways could not influence. Seeing the stubborn man standing before her, she could not help but see the similarities to the small boy who had so often planted himself in front of her willing her to his way with his mere presence. God, help her but Dante and Sonny were more alike than she sometimes wanted to acknowledge. This could turn out to be an impossible display of stubbornness, if neither of them was willing to back down or compromise. But, Olivia knew that whatever relationship these two men ultimately ended up with, if any, it was not her place to try to manipulate it. She had done that for too many years and that time had passed. They would have to work this out – for better or worse.

"I've got to leave for the hospital. Lulu is having some tests run and she wants me to go with her." Olivia stated, wanting to leave Sonny's mansion and his fantasies.

Sonny looked at Olivia and to her surprise said "I'm coming with you. I'll stay with Dante while you both are gone."

Lulu was pacing in Dante's room waiting for Olivia. She had stayed with Dante while he slept. Lulu was glad she had pushed him to open up to her and was relieved even more when she told him about the medical tests. He seemed to be sleeping so soundly and peacefully for once. From time to time, she would walk over to Dante, touch his face with her hand or play with his hair, then go back to pacing the floor. It seemed like an eternity between the time she had called Olivia and finally seeing her walk through the door. Lulu was surprised when she saw Sonny trailing behind her. "What are you doing here? Lulu questioned Sonny.

"I decided while you girls went to the lab for those tests, I would sit here with my son. Olivia told me about everything on the car ride over." Sonny said matter-of-fact.

Lulu wasn't sure whether to be happy or not about Sonny being here. All she wanted at this point was for Dante to remain comfortable and get some rest. It had been such a struggle to get Dante to this place, and she really didn't want Sonny to interfere. She wanted to make sure Dante was up for handling whatever the test results might indicate and with Sonny here that might not happen. Lulu took a breath, squared herself between Dante and Sonny and said "Sonny, please allow Dante to rest. As you may or may not know, he's not been sleeping well. I think we have remedied some of his worries and he's finally been able to relax. These tests I'm having are the last of his worries. So, for him to sleep right now is the most important thing. I'm asking you not to wake him."

Sonny took in the protective position that Lulu had taken between him and his son and knew at that moment that she was not going to back down. Instead he just nodded in agreement and looked at Dante like any new worried parent would.

Lulu and Olivia left for her tests, but not before Lulu bent down and whispered into Dante's ear "I'll take care of our little bambino. Don't worry my love." She kissed him on the cheek and turned for the door.

Sonny watched his newfound son silently for the longest time. He thought about his conversation with Olivia and wondered if what she had said was true. Would he ever be able to earn Dante's love? It was incredible to Sonny just how much that man sleeping in that bed reminded him of himself. To look at him now, it was unmistakable.

Just about the time Sonny decided to leave to get a cup of coffee, Dante yelled out "NO!" Sonny turned to look at Dante and all he could see was a frightened child before him. Sonny walked over to him and laid his hand on Dante's injured shoulder. "Son…Dante…are you ok?"

Dante stirred and grimaced from the pain shooting through him. He opened his eyes wide from the wonder of what Sonny had just called him. He tried to sit up in bed, but Sonny, with seemingly little effort, kept him from rising.

"You don't remember much about the night of the shooting do you?" Sonny questioned.

"No, I don't," Dante responded.

"Well, you blurted something out about your parentage," Sonny stated.

Dante just shook his head. "It's obvious, I was out of it. I didn't know what I was saying," he wanted to be able to justify what he said, to throw Sonny off track. Somehow, though, Dante knew he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of this one. It appeared the Genie was out of the bottle on this particular secret. He was a little upset that no one had bothered to remind him of that fact once he was lucid again.

"Dante, your mother confirmed it. It's kinda hard for a parent to fabricate a story when their own child is lying near death." Sonny was suggesting they get straight to the point. "We can argue about everything that has happened here, but I don't think it's going to change the bottom line. I've resolved my anger and issues with Olivia. I suggest you do the same. She is your mother and always will be. She loves you with every ounce of her being and did the best she could at the time. We can move forward from this point and start to build a relationship we can be proud of. I want you to know Dante, I love you, and I want you and your family in my life."

Dante tried to wrap his mind around the fact that Sonny had the gall to give him any advice about his mother or her reasons for doing anything. How dare he presume to know anything about his relationship with his mother? The guy really did have a set of balls on him. As Dante started to speak, Lulu and Olivia walked through the door after returning from Lulu's tests. Dante stared into Sonny's eyes and blankly said "Sonny, I'm not sure I can do that."