updating early because of all of the upcoming tests. And for you guys of course but I want to emphasize that I really, REALLY don't want to leave you guys so long without an update.
AND: randomly, some of the paragraphs and dialogue was randomly lost... idk where it went. So it may seem a bit choppy
ALSO: this may or may not include my cowriter, how do you guys feel about maybe a thanksgiving and/or christmas fic? If tis a good feeling, a chapter story or just a cute oneshot?
Also: Do you guys remember my completely rhyming bbxrae christmas story from last year? I don't think I can show that up. What do you think, was the rhyme cute or tacky?
And: Do you guys even read my A/Ns?
Tara came home, a huge smile on her face. Though she didn't have the satisfaction of buying stuff for herself, she had the satisfaction of completely maxing out her client's credit cards on over five-thousand dollars worth of pink dresses, shoes, bows, and any other pink sparkly thing there was. Her client was SURE to be satisfied, I mean, who DOESN'T love pink? Pfft, though she didn't meet this 'Rachel' chick, she could tell that she would totally enjoy that poofy pink Barbie dress and maybe even find herself a nice Ken to go with it. She smiled. Another satisfied customer. She looked over to the couch to see her husband. "Hello there, you fine piece of man."
Garfield wanted to grab the nearest dull spoon and gouge his eyes out. But he let out a barely noticeable sigh, Give her a chance... he reminded himself. "Good evening darling, how was your day?"
"Wonderful, my client will be SO happy. I guess her name is 'Rachel'? So I bought what any typical Rachel would like... loads of pink! I only spent about like, six-thousand... but it was totally worth it. I'm sure Rachel will love this AMAZING sparkly pink dress I bought her. Psh, she said something to me about the colors 'black' and 'purple' but I thought I'd help her and show her what REAL fashion is." She skipped in and took a seat on Gar's lap.
Gar's eyes widened in shock, "Honey - when you're a shopper for someone else ... you work with what they like. Not... just what you like. Y'know?"
Tara shrugged. "I did her a favor. I mean, I got to her house, to give her the bags- she wasn't there. But when I went in her closet, that girl is seriously living like she's at a freaking life-long funeral. All black. Like, who does that? But whatever. Her accessories were alright, she had this kind of weird necklace with like a black bird with its wings outspread? I don't know. It was weird."
Garfield smiled softly, "Oh?" Now he was thinking about Rachel more and more - and how she hadn't really changed.
"Yeah. But I got rid of everything... well not really but I helped her. I wasn't going to throw it out for her- I don't take out the garbage for anyone. I just put it all in like giant bags and left them by her door so she could get rid of them. I even filled her closet with the new clothes for her. Not a problem. I mean- she'll be happy I went above and beyond what she asked me to do, right?"
Gar raised an eyebrow at her obliviousness. "Uh, maybe when you go above and beyond with what she WANTED you to do! What is she going to think when she gets home?"
"She's going to think 'Thank you, Tara'." And with that, Tara took her leave.
Rachel yawned, stretching her back and playing with the keys to the house as she walked up the steps. She held the cardboard box, shaped like a mini house, tightly and entered. She immediately flipped on the light switch to reveal her semi-furnished two bedroom, one bathroom house. She set the box on the floor gently and opened it, allowing a small kitten to climb out and explore.
"I will name you 'Moe'!" She declared, eyeing the black kitten with white paws and tummy. The kitten mewed contently and then began to strut toward Rachel.
Rachel stepped back and pulled her leg out of reach. "Woah, nuh-uh, kitty. Here are the rules: Touch me and you die."
The kitten mewed once more and then continued to knead the carpet. Rae raised an eyebrow but then continued past the kitten on the way to the kitchen. During her journey there, she tripped over a rather large black bag and landed to the floor with a thud.
"UGH!" She looked over to see the giant bag. "I could've sworn that I had thrown him in the lake…" She said upon eyeing the bag. She then turned back to the kitten with a sheepish smile. "Hehe, morbid humor." She then reached over and opened the bag to find her clothes. "What the-"
Feeling slightly violated and more creeped out than enraged, she quickly made her way to her room. She rushed to the closet and tore it open with a gasp.
There- where her usual attire would hang… appeared MANY pink dresses, blouses, skirts, and even pantyhose. She took a deep breath to calm herself.
"This is almost more revolting than a cat."
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rachel quieted her racing thoughts and casually put all she was feeling into simpler terms.
"And this is why the human race is effed." She then looked down to see the kitten. "Ezekiel," she renamed him, "This right here… is the reason… that I hate people."
Ezekiel looked from Rachel, to the closet then back to Rachel, then back to the closet. He thought about it, composed it in his mind, and casually put all that he was feeling into simpler terms.
He threw up on the floor.
Rachel raised an eyebrow.
The feline raised a tail.
"I feel the same way." Rachel said, then holding her breath, "And look at that. You even come with that new kitten smell."
An hour later, after Rae had cleaned up the mess and abruptly hopped in the shower, she was on the couch in a heap of blankets, reading the class' next assignment.
Feeling something sharp scratching her legs, she looked up from her book to discover a small, black kitten. She took this moment to notice his adorable little white paws and scruffy white tummy. Immediately, she jumped back, knocking the kitten off of the couch.
"Go. Away." She spoke sternly.
The cat hopped up on the couch once more and crept closer to Rachel, ready to pounce on his prey.
"No, no. Don't do that. Where ya going?" She inquired softly this time.
The cat just sauntered closer, a spark of mischief in his green eyes.
"Luther…" She renamed him, backing away. "Don't come any closer."
The cat crept closer, and closer, until finally he was in snuggle distance of Rachel.
"OH MY GOD GET IT OFF ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! IT'S GONNA KILL ME! IT'S-" The cat licked her cheek. Her face fell flat and her eyes blared with an angry fire. "I hate you, Garfield Logan." She cursed him, though he wasn't there.
She sighed and kicked the cat off the couch once more, picking up her book. Five minutes into Scene Five, the cat was nowhere to be seen. She let her eyes scan the room. No kitty. She sighed, lowering her book, only to see a black kitten staring at her with wide owl-like eyes.
Rachel raised an eyebrow.
The kitten tilted his head.
Rachel raised the other eyebrow.
The kitten kneaded her lap.
She sighed, closing her book, deciding to socialize with the cat. "Sooo…. You… like Shakespeare?"
The cat blinked.
'Alright, so I think Tara is still happy from her 'excellent shopping' - I feel horrible for what Rachel must be dealing with. New kitten and someone change her wardrobe? Yikes. And so if Tara's happy, this evening with Zach's girlfriend should be okay too... right? Oh I need a sign, right now. Or a fucking strong alcohol based drink, that'd work too. Actually screw it, can I just grab a bottle?' Garfield stood in the kitchen in deep thought. After the detention, after he learned that no, his son didn't hate him... he figured that it would be nice of him to invite Zach's girlfriend to dinner at their home.
Tara had done the shopping earlier, grocery shopping with Gar, and he tossed out every pink item, besides pink lemonade, and although he tried - she still won. They were having meat loaf tonight. Luckily there were plenty of vegetables to be had. So all Garfield had to focus on, was not throwing up through dinner.
Zach stood outside the door trying to coax Emma into entering. "Come on, it'll be fine."
She sighed. "Because this kind of thing always turns out well." She rolled her eyes sarcastically. "You said that this morning, and I got detention for no reason. First detention of my life, and I blame you."
"Ouch." He said with his signature smirk. He swung open the door and ushered her in. "After you, babe." She just rolled her eyes.
Garfield heard the front door open and decided to get out of the kitchen as soon as he put the meat loaf into the stove. He wasn't impressed for a couple reasons. First being, Tara can't cook anything worth squat. That girl burned water. Secondly, the nauseous feeling that was lingering around Gar for not only having to watch it sit on the table, but to prepare the damn thing too? That just wasn't fair, at all. 'Rae would never make me do this...' He thought to himself, but then put on a smile as soon as he saw Zach and his girlfriend.
"Why hello there, I'm Zach's sexy ass father, Garfield. No I don't like lasagna so don't ask ahahah," He noticed Zach's girlfriend seemed uneasy and he couldn't blame her. "No need to be shy, Zach and I have pretty much the same sense of humor. No worries."
He lead them into the living room. "Dinner should be ready soon, I'm really sorry I didn't get a list of what you liked Emma, it was pretty short notice but that's okay. But, are you okay with," He gulped for a moment, "Meat?"
Emma gave a small smile that reminded Gar of someone else he knew. "I'm more of a fresh fruits and health food girl myself, but I'm sure whatever you made will be fine. I try not to be picky, and often I'm not fastidious." She gave a smirk.
"Fa..as..tidio..us... right." Garfield shook his head. "I think I need to go back to school," He mumbled as he picked up a dictionary and quickly looked up the word. "Ah! Eureka! Elementary my dear Watsons!" He exclaimed dorkishly as he shut the dictionary and set it back in the book case where it belonged. "If you think Zach is bad in class, I was worse. I would open up the dictionary, and make random sentences and then say them when I was called upon." He laughed a bit, but as soon as he heard Tara let out a string of obscenities from the kitchen - Gar figured she could use some assistance. "You just have fun with Rae - uuhh, Emma... and not the unprotected kind, I'm too young and good looking to be a gramps, I'll... be back. Muahaha." Well, he knew he'd win 'Strangest Dad of The Year' award now. Hands down.
Zach sighed, pulling Emma along to his room to try to convince her to play Black Ops with him, not that she would. Most likely he'll get a lecture on how video games are pointless- but either way it was a win win scenario because he loved to hear her talk.
Gar entered the kitchen to see Tara looking as if she might cry. Her blonde hair in a tizzy and her cheeks stained with red. Her chin quivered as she saw Gar approach.
On one hand, Gar wanted to roll his eyes and walk away. But on the other hand, he did still have feelings for Tarra and he always did hate to see her upset, no matter how vain she was. So he let out a soft sigh and reached out for her hand, taking it in his. "Hey, what's wrong darling?"
"Zachary is what's wrong." She started anger and slight jealousy filling her voice. "I mean, what's with that chick he brought home. When he said 'girlfriend' I thought he meant a cute little girl who wears pink and bows and cute little heels and dresses! But no! He brings back...that. Who'd want to be with that?" She sighed, knowing EXACTLY who the girl reminded her of.
Garfield had to approach this situation carefully. He didn't want to give anything away, even though he felt like just saying it. Because the guilt was slowly eating at him. It was kind of like alcohol, or similiar things. They make you feel so damn good at the time, but afterward, you tend to feel like pure shit. "Tara, listen... Zachary isn't wrong for liking who he does. Just because she isn't what you wanted her to be, doesn't mean that Zach's going to dump her for you, or that he's wrong for liking her. For fuck sakes Tara, this world doesn't revolve around you. It doesn't revolve around a single person so get over yourself."
He let out an agitated sigh, "I'd rather be with that than you..." He mumbled, but then just shook his head. "Listen, I don't want to fight with you right now. Zach's girlfriend is here for dinner, whether you like it or not by the way, and we will sort this out later, I promise and you know I don't break those."
Her bottom lip quivered for a moment understanding exactly what he was saying... Garfield Logan must be in love with little Emma. "Child perv." She quickly pushed past him with the food and placed it on the table. "Dinner's ready." She said harshly, taking her seat at the table.
Gar sighed, then calling to the kids, "Dinner!" He then took the seat farthest from Tara.
They heard a thud, then Emma's giggling from down the hall. "Well," They heard Zach say, "I feel like an idiot."
Emma's laughter ended as they came into sight. "Don't need to feel like an idiot just because you are one." She said in a monotone.
Zach gave a cheeky smirk. "Thanks, babe. That boosted my confidence."
"No problem."
'At least they're having a good time,' Garfield thought to himself as he piled the vegetables upon his plate, trying not to look at the meatloaf smothered in gravy. Although it was hard to avoid when Tara purposely placed it right dead center of the table. Gee, wasn't that thoughtful of her? "So, did Zach try to get you to play Black Ops with him?" Garfield inquired, knowing very well that's exactly what his son did. Or probably did... although he knew there were condoms in the bathroom, right?
Emma looked to him, face completely emotionless. "Actually, yes." Zach looked up.
"She beat me, she always does." Zach gave a wink as Emma forked some mashed potatoes into her mouth.
"Yeah, just give more for this chick to knock it down. But, it's alright, it keeps her around. In the meantime, I think I need to buy a pocket dictionary just to have a conversation with her."
She smirked. "I don't use big words, your vocabulary is just structurally inadequate." She then turned to look at Gar. "So, what's your occupation, if you don't mind me asking."
"Oh I don't mind you asking at all, I'm an underwear model. Can't you tell?" Tara's eyes widened and Zach's face turned red. He laughed, "Actually no, I'm not ahaha, I'm a veterinarian."
Emma's emotionless face didn't change, and she stayed quiet as she sipped her water. Zach went to kick Gar, only missed, kicking Emma instead. Which was a stupid idea, because Emma actually DID know karate, and could kill him in under two moves. She kicked him back, and Zach immediately thought it was his father, swinging his leg with as much force as he could muster and kicking his father this time.
Sadly, Gar's aim was just as inadequate as his vocabulary, and his counter-kick went straight to Tara.
"OW! Damnit you hoe." Tara exclaimed, immediately believing that Emma kicked her. "I knew you had it out for me."
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Alright, number one: 'Hoe'? Honey, please. Not to disrespect, but seriously, If you felt like insulting me you could have done a much better job, you ninnyhammer." Zach and Gar couldn't help but laugh just a bit at the word 'ninnyhammer' meaning 'fool'. "And secondly: I did nothing to you, and have absolutely NO reason to be out to get you, so to say I am would be a buncombe. No need to get the dictionary for that one- it means false statement." And with that, Emma took a sip of her water and went back to eating.
Zach raised an eyebrow, "Well... this has been interesting."
Garfield after having stopped laughing, gently pushed his plate forward. All he had was potatoes. "Tara, don't lose your temper like that, how disillusioned of you. Disappointing and all those big words I could never pronounce. She has nothing out for you, so simmer down." He couldn't glance at Zach without out grinning, "Bahah, ninnyhammer."
Zach let all of his laughter out. "She calls me that ALL THE TIME."
She smirked. "Shut up, you ninny, and finish your vegetables."
Zach looked up at Gar. "Wait till she calls you a 'coccydynia'."
Tara's eyes narrowed. "I'm not a... 'ninnyhammer', and you ARE out to get me."
Emma looked up at her and blinked. "Alright, whatever you say. I'm really not going to fight you on this one, though you seem belligerent."
Tara sighed, eating more of the meatloaf. "I'm not a ninnyhammer." she muttered under her breath.
Garfield let out a small sigh, "Tara, how about we talk later okay? And Emma, would you like to stay and hang out for a bit or, are you to be expected at home?" He took a moment to think. 'Damn, Rae is rubbing off on me. Although rubbing on her was pretty great, not gonna lie...'
"My mom is picking me up."
Garfield then got up from the table, taking his used dish with him. "Hey Emma, would you mind... if I could have a word with you for a minute?"
He cleared his throat, hoping that Zach wouldn't hate him after this evening. "Before your mother picks you up?"
She nodded, "Actually, I was just going to ask you the same thing." She got up with her dish and followed his lead.
The blond male couldn't really explain why he suddenly felt rather intimidated by Emma and the fact she wanted to talk to him, but he gave her a friendly smile and lead her into the kitchen. "So, Emma... you wanted to speak to me?" He began, starting the beginnings of dishes. Azar only knew Tara never did.
"I just wanted to apologize to you, for any disrespect. I'd apologize to your wife if she wasn't so threatened by me. I don't understand her, but she needs to control herself. Again, apologies."
He gave a chuckle. "Would you like to wash? That kind of inner anger could be good for scrubbing." He joked with a smile.
She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not falling for that, and what'd you want to say to me?"
Of course he didn't expect her to fall for that, Rachel wouldn't. "Well, I actually wanted to apologize for Tara's behavior. Just so you know a bit of what's going on... we're not exactly getting along lately and I know it's taking some effect on Zach and that's not fair. It's gotta be stressful on him and what not, but I'm glad you appeared when you did. Because to him, you're an amazing distraction from the shit going on around here." He told her, scrubbing the dishes himself. He gagged a little when he came across Tara's plate, which still had the meat upon it. "In case you're wondering, yes I am a vegetarian. But Tara requested... me..at... loaf." What cruel woman would do that to her husband? Oh right, Tara.
Emma just nodded knowingly. "Not a problem." At that very moment, a car's honk was heard outside. "And that's my ride. Catch you later, you ninnyhammer." She then departed, but not before giving Zach a hug and shunning Tara one last time.
Zach walked into the kitchen. "Well, that went well."
Garfield smiled, "Is that sarcasm I smell? Or do you just need a shower?"
"No sarcasm. But yea, I do kind of need a shower, I've been smellin' funky lately... anyways, I've learned something. Don't bring my dates home without supplying everyone with a dictionary. You know what... I just won't bring my dates home." He shrugged.
Garfield had a feeling that the last statement wasn't all that far from a joke. "Listen Zach, I've been really wanting to talk to you one on one. And we haven't really had a chance. Did you want to, maybe do something together? Or just drive to some random place - not Ms. Roth's... and just talk? I think it'd be good for us. You can ask me anything you want. Be it about my past, what's going on now... sound like fun?"
"No, actually dad, it doesn't sound like fun at all. I mean I like you and all, but that doesn't mean I'm going to have some long deep conversation with you." He patted Gar on the back. "You're cool and all.. but I'm just at that age." He then proceeded to open the fridge, grab a plate of leftovers from the other night, and head off to his room.
Garfield lightly growled, making Zach walk even faster. "He just won't talk to me... why?" Of course he was talking out loud to himself again, but stress was his excuse for doing so. "I mean, I'm not a bad... father, am I? Don't answer that... ugh, I have got to stop talking to myself."
laurensaysrawrx, Cool bubblegum, Carter33566, Densharr: Again, Thank you guys SOOOOOO much for telling me about my careless mistake. I would've never noticed. Thank you. :D
TheMaskedShuppeteer:Thank you, this update is again for you AND on time. Enjoy :D
lafalot22: I'm so glad you weren't too upset. Thank you my loyal reviewer. Next chapter is for you ;D
Cuervos Bestia: Hmmm, good thoughts, you'll find out soon. Thanks for reviewing, hope you stay with the story :D
Raven of Alaska: Oh good good good, so glad for your review. This gives me a chance to explain things that I do believe were maybe a little unclear in earlier chapters.
1. Tara does in fact have a job, but she doesn't make much. She is a personal shopper who charges a very expensive price by the minute. When Rachel says she is paying to see Gar, she means she is paying this unfair price to keep his wife out of the house so she may visit him.
2. No, Rachel is unaware that they are married. She just know he's married to a Barbie reincarnation BUT, Rae and Tara do know and hate each other from high school and college years.
3. Tara called to talk to her new client, Rachel. And later went on a shopping spree for her, a 6,000 dollar shopping spree. The results are above.
4. I don't believe we see Malchior again, but we wrote this awhile ago and I honestly can't remember.
5. The rest you'll have to find out ;D thanks for reading :D Chapter 12 is for you.