Sulu rushed into the tent, panting slightly and covered in a thin layer of sweat. It was ridiculously hot in the Midwest. No matter Vulcan's liked it here so much.
"Was he there?" Jim rushed before Sulu was even entirely in the tent. He panted before responding.
"No."
Jim's shoulders instantly dropped and his blue eyes lost all their sparkle, becoming shells of their usual joy. Sulu was a bit sick of it. He hated that look on Jim's face.
"He hates me."
"Yes." Sulu replied. Bones shot him a glare and Uhura hit him on the back of the head.
"Ow!" He yelped, his hand flying up to rub at the new bruise.
Scotty shook his head. "To be fair to the lad, we did already know that." Uhura turned on the Scot with narrowed eyes and a raised hand.
Sulu continued to rub at his head and shoot everyone but Scotty and Jim a glare. "As I was saying: yes, he does hate you. Right now we know that. The point is we need to change that. He still thinks you're a liar who never trusted him. We need to inform him of the truth."
"It's no use." Jim sighed. His shoulders slumped even more (and if they went much further they'd be on the floor) and he turned to go back to his bed roll at the far corner of the tent. "Just forget it." Sulu furrowed his brow as Jim retreated and made to follow after him. He'd write down that Jim needed to talk to Spock and hit him with the paper until it sunk into his thick head if had to.
Bones grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Hold on, son. I'll get this. You're right; we need to contact that hobgoblin before this gets any worse." Sulu studied Bones eyes intently for a moment before nodding his head.
"Have at, old friend."
Bones grumbled something in reply before following Jim to the corner of the room. He stood in front of the despondent blond and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You are an idiot."
"I know."
"You need to stop moping."
"I know."
"If you're so smart, and know everything, then what are you doing here?"
"I'm sitting here because I have quite clearly lost control of my life."
"Well this is really no good. He's barely winning his matches. He has another tournament to attend. We've already signed up for all the remaining ones. We can't just back out now." Uhura whispered to Sulu. He gave her a look that made it clear just how unhelpful he'd found that information. They all already knew it.
"Aye' but it gets worse." Scotty mumbled morosely.
"What do you mean?" Sulu gruffed. He did not need more bad news. This entire plan had turned far too risky as was. They needed good news, not bad. They needed Spock was back type of news.
"I checked the rouster for next tournament. And Stonn is not on it."
"So Jim won't have a chance to beat him or prove he was the one that poisoned him?" Scotty nodded his head and Uhura cursed colorfully.
"Language, Uhura." A tired voice intoned Sulu looked over his shoulder to see Jim being towed by Bones towards them. He was half in his armor and looked like he needed to go to bed instead of to a match.
"Jim-"
"No. Bones is right. We'll do this match. Last one here and then we're off to the next one. Right?"
"Right." Jim wandered off to put on the rest of his armor, Scotty leaving to help. Sulu regarded him for a moment before turning to Bones who was now grinning slightly. He sighed before succumbing to curiosity.
"What happened?"
"Get you're thinking cap on, Su. We're going to write a letter to that dark haired devil tonight. Jim will win that green-blooded hobgoblin back if I have to tie said goblin up and drug him into submission. I have chocolate and I will use it." Sulu snorted and shook his head. "Come on, we have to get Casanova ready."
-o-o-o-o-
"Who has the first match?" Jim inquired as he walked up to the fence. His match was next and he'd face the victor. He knew Stonn was in this match, but he was more curious about who the opponent was. Part of him hoped to have the chance to beat Stonn and win his Sehlat from the slime-devil.
"Stonn and a Vulcan named Styok. You played him… earlier." Jim ignored the pause and nodded his head. He knew he had played him back when he'd still been courting Spock. Styok had been pleasant enough. He'd been injured and requested that Jim give him a swift end. Jim had suggested a draw instead. It let the Vulcan keep his dignity and Jim had automatically advanced as he'd had more victories.
"Well, don't worry. That hobgoblin isn't getting to see Spock either." He studied the competition as Jim recalled the look on Spock's face when Stonn had first ridiculed him. His eyes had narrowed and he'd had the coldest look in his eyes during the split second he had regarded Stonn before returning his attention to Jim. His eyes had changed instantaneously. The moment they'd fallen back on Jim they'd been filled to bursting with adoration. It had made Jim nearly fall of I-Cheya at the time.
Bones patted him on the back but Jim didn't feel it. His brain was rather preoccupied with the feeling exploding through his chest. The happy, warm, terrifying feeling that was making itself right at home in his heart.
Jim had known he had been falling, and falling hard, but he hadn't realized it for what it was. Now he did. Thank you, universe, Jim got the message. He was in love, and would always be in love with Lord Spock.
And that was really that. Forever and always and infinity and all that jazz.
Sure, he might love others, but he would never love them like Spock. He would never be able to give them his entire heart, because Spock would now always own part of it. No matter what. The same Spock that was not talking to Jim, and refused to see him in any matches. The same Spock that believed Jim was a traitor who thought the worse of Spock.
Well… What was one more problem? Jim was getting good at juggling issues anyway. Just add it to the pile.
Jim pushed the panic away and focused on the most current one. "Well, Stonn will probably win this match then. Everyone, keep your eyes open for any weakness. Holes in his defenses, distract- wait, what's happening?" Mitchell, Stonn's manservant was rushing across the field with the white flag that signaled Stonn's withdrawing. Jim stood up on the fence to get a better look at the field. Sulu and Bones joined him, their mouthes dropping open in shock.
"What's the meaning of that?" Uhura demanded. "Why is he withdrawing?"
"I don't know." Jim murmured. Bones stared for a moment longer before snapping to attention.
"Uhura, go to Mitchell and weasel the information out of him. Scotty, get Jim's lance ready, Sulu, get I-Cheya. We're up." Uhura dashed across the field, leaving her coat behind and letting her long hair down so that it flowed around her shoulders beautifully. She looked exquisite and darkly beautiful in the new gown that Jim had bought her. Mitchell wouldn't stand a chance against her womanly wiles. He'd also get his ass thoroughly kicked if he tried anything.
Jim kind of hoped he would. Mitchell was a creep as far as Jim was concerned.
Scotty and Sulu hurried off for the lance and Sehlat while Bones devoted his attention to making sure Jim was fully armored properly. Jim kept his eyes on Styok who was talking to his own manservant with a dejected air.
"What do you think it is?" Jim asked as he kept his eyes on the Vulcan. Bones shrugged and tightened his gauntlets.
"How should I know? I've never seen anything like that. Maybe he's royalty. That'd make me withdraw."
"Royalty? Like what? Sybok?"
"Again: how should I know? I'm a doctor, not a psychic."
"I-Cheya's all ready." Sulu informed the friends with a slightly hassled air. Jim ignored him and climbed up on the Sehlat.
"Where's Scotty with my-" The Scotsman ran up with the requested lance, panting slightly. Styok watched Jim mount from across the field, a smile visible on his stoic face. It was odd seeing a Vulcan smile so openly.
"Solkar!" Uhura called as she ran back up to them. "He's royalty, it's Sybok!"
Bones' mouth fell open in shock. Jim's eyes widened and darted back out to see Styok/Sybok start to look worried. He was eying Uhura nervously. "He's the crowned Prince! Facing him could mean death if you harm him."
"Grab the white flag!" Sulu rushed. Scotty fumbled in the bag of supplies for the withdraw cloth.
Sybok looked stricken across the field. It did something odd to Jim to see a Vulcan so obviously discontent. It occurred to him that Sybok was trapped much like Jim. He'd be unable to ride if anyone found out the truth. Both were trying to hide who they were so they could participate in a sport they loved.
Jim tigtened his grip on his lance and urged I-Cheya forward. The sehlat stalled for a moment before taking the hint and starting forward. Sybok stared for a full ten seconds before a wide grin stole over his lips. He took his lance from his servant and urged his own mount forward.
The lances were clashing before Jim could fully pay attention. He could hear shouts of disbelief behind him and knew he'd get an earful from Bones the minute he returned. He didn't much care.
Sure enough, "Are you mad?" Bones demanded the second he returned to his half of the field. Jim nodded his head.
"You knew that." He winked.
"No, you don't get to play cute with me. Not after that." He practically growled the word. Jim was glad he was only allowed two minutes to brace for the next round. "How could you knowingly endanger him?"
"He knowingly endangers himself. He just wants to ride. I of all people know how that feels." Bones started to retort but bit it off before he said anything more. He settled for glaring more.
"God love you, Jim."
Jim beamed. "I know. No one else will." He took his lance back up and charged once more down the field. He managed to de- lance the prince and met him back in the middle of the field. The crowned prince was still smiling and Jim acted before thinking. He bowed on his sehlat before offering a smile to the surprised Vulcan. "My Prince."
"You knew who I was yet still you fought? Would it not have been simpler to withdraw? It would have been that or be arrested." Sybok looked amazed and Jim couldn't help but respond to it.
"I don't believe in no-win scenarios. I made my own option." Jim shrugged. Sybok's eyes widened even more before he allowed a small smile to shine through.
"Indeed. Well fought, Sir Solkar. I admit defeat, in the match and in my attempt at deception. Fair thee well in this tournament."
"You as well, my Lord."
"You're still crazy." Bones informed him later, ignoring the smile that Jim couldn't hide.
-o-o-o-o-
"So what is your brilliant idea?"
"How should it start?" The group of misfits were gathered in the center of their tent. Uhura had a quill and sever pieces of paper in her lap, ready to write.
"With an apology." Sulu suggested.
"And don't forget, Vulcans are romantics at heart." Uhura added. Jim thought for a moment.
"My Dearest Spock," Jim began, his voice a bit shakier than he would ever have liked it to be. "I am human, and by denying that aspect of myself, and denying you the truth of my heritage I have hurt you. I cannot ask for your forgiveness for my transgression is far too great. I can only ask that you continue to read so that you may understand my full story.
"When I was a boy I had a dream of being able to join Vulcans in jousting. It was a simple dream, a child's dream. That dream became a reality thanks to a freak accident that allowed me the chance to conceal my identity.
That dream is no longer one that holds my heart. I have a new dream…a dream that too had become a reality and spread throughout the stars with the power of my joy. I had a being who I could share the secrets of my soul with."
"That's a good start." Bones muttered, masking a sniff. Jim barely paused.
"It was not to hurt you that I lied about who I was. I have always been a servant, very little more than a slave. My master, while never cruel, was not exceptionally kind. I have been beaten for disappointments and starved for transgressions.
I wished more for my life, and the lives of my friends. I composed a scheme of ridiculous proportions to earn enough that we might be able to retire from a life of servitude. I wished only to participate in a sport I love, and provide for those dearest to me.
I had an unforeseeable complication. I fell in love.
I have heard you say that feeling is not much to go on, but sometimes a feeling, Spock, is all we Humans have to go on. For you, I would go on even less. You make me believe in luck. For that is the only thing that can explain how I could ever have enough good fortune to have ever met you, let alone be allowed to speak to you and embrace you. For a while, you made me believe in miracles.
My people wish for freedom, but we have yet to learn that freedom is never a gift. It is something that must be earned, fought for. I have tried to fight for it in the only way that I know. I am what I am, Spock, and if there are such a thing as self-made purgatories, then we all must live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else's, but it has offered me the cruelest of blows. It has cost me you."
Jim hesitated, unsure of how to continue.
"My mother, god rest her soul," Sulu said, "used to say: when everything else has faded, my love remains as constant as the stars. While they continue to blaze across the night sky, my heart will continue to blaze for you."
"Put that in there." Jim ordered, his eyes glistening a bit. It was a beautiful line.
"Don't forget hope," Scotty added, his voice thick. "Hope guides us. It's what gets us through the day, and especially the night. The hope that when the one we love has gone from us, it'll not be the last time we see their face."
"That is incredible." Uhura breathed, staring at the Scotsman with overly bright eyes. Jim nodded in agreement as she penned it in.
"It has always been said that the good of the many outweigh the good of the few, or one. In the case of you, I would give up the good of all for the good of you." Bones offered. "It's logical enough that he'll eat it up.
"You once said being a nobleman was your first destiny... if that's true, then mine is to be by your side, however you will have me. If there's any true logic to the universe... I will see you again."
"You next compete in Las Vegas. How about: 'My heart fades with each day as spring fades in the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next compete in the city of Las Vegas, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there.' ?"
"Why not?" Uhura wrote it in.
"Alright, now to end it."
Jim considered for a moment before smiling softly. His eyes danced distantly. "End it with: I have been, and ever shall be, yours. Live long, and prosper my ashaya."
"Ooh, that's good. That's really good." Uhura murmured as she wrote it down on the paper. She looked up as she put a dot down for a period. "Well, I like it, but do you like it?"
"I-I don't know if it's enough." Jim admitted. Bones huffed in disbelief.
"Well, what could be more romantic than a schmoopy letter?"
Jim stared as a memory surfaced in his mind. He had been standing on a balcony looking out over a truly beautiful garden that he'd barely paid attention to. "Then what would you have them do for you?" He'd asked with perfect sincerity. Spock had studied him for a moment before answering.
"I would have them lose. Losing goes against everything, logic, greed, thirst for victory. It requires one to show true desire for another. I believe that, logically, it would show a much greater devotion than a victory that adds to their reputation, not mine."
Jim grinned victoriously. "I have an idea."