Chapter 10 "Tired"
((Eren))
we get back to camp after a patrol and like it's been for the last few days Harmony is out side punching and kicking a tree but today there was something different about today she seemed to be blowing of stem "well look who's out again" Levi spat with his usual glare she fixed her hair turning "and you care why?" she rubbed her red knuckle's "just get back inside" he was starting to get annoyed "and since wend do I take orders from Corporal clean freak" he clench his teeth "since Erwin order me to look after a stubborn brat" she smirked "fair enough" "fair enough to a spy that dosen't know a thing" she look at him she looked calm but anger was starting to boil up inside of her she crosses her arms "believe me Levi I know more about you than you do your self" they were face to face...almost "then prove it" she seemed to smile "you came from the capital in an under ground district commander Erwin recruited you with two others Isabel and Farlan your first plan was kill the commander Erwin wasan't it?" her smile seems to grow and for the first time I see him sink only a tiny bit but he was "but then you had a change of heart but you still killed three men cause your friend got an unwanted hair cut" I can see him clenching his teeth harder "if your not ready to try me than don't Levi I know lot's of things and I'm no ordinary spy not even close if I have to break someone mentally I will and I can't count how many time I have broken someone's trust but I have done it before and I'll do it again if I have to" "so you enjoy doing it" her smile disappears she truly looked furious now "never once have I enjoyed doing it ever every time I went on a stinking 'mission' I had to act like another person and the worst part wasan't pretending to be someone I'm not but to sink in to deep into the act to start becoming the person I was acting" Jean looks away from her this is a side of her I had never seen she was furious but at the same time hurt "and how can I trust that your telling the truth" she gives a fake laugh "you trust no one Levi no one ever truly has your trust they may have part of it but never will any one have your hole trust never once did I have your trust and I probably never will but I can live with that" yet again Levi was sinking still a tiny bit but sinking but then in between his usual glare there was something else like something popped up "if you want to start to earn it then tell us who the hell you are" she seemed even more furious she razes her hand for a second I though she was gonna slap him but her hands goes to her left arm lowering a long fingerless glove that went up her elbow revealing some figure's burned into her skin that I'm pretty sure was made by the thing they use for branding horses or cows it was a flower that was hit by the wind the petals get ripped of turning into a wolf "this can only tell some much" she tock a deep breath "my name is Mara Vangert I lived in the Shinganshina district till I was nine my father,mother and brother were all killed by titans wend I was a refuge I was kidnaped along with some other kids who lost there family's and taken to a camp and believe me wend I tell you I would have preferred to be killed by a titan than being throw into that hell" she pauses for a second pulling her self together she wasan't crying but still seemed to need to "and the training I got you don't know was it's like to feel like every bit of live has been drain from your body unless you take it" that made all of us angry are training was no walk in the park "and what makes you think there training wasan't as hard as yours" yet again he had stopped sinking but I'm guessing she would find a way to make him sink again and I was right "they weren't nine year old's being throw into a pit with a 15-meter class having only five days of training" a shill runs down my spine if I could take the question back for Levi I would "they only gave you five days to learn how to use the more than complex fricking 3D maneuver gear they dint care if you new how to use it or not they just threw you in the pit or the "arena" like some liked to call it with the titan you only had your gear nothing else nobody can't or want's to help you one by one they threw you in some came back out others weren't so lucky and some of the ones that came out came back insane broken beyond repair some pulled true others never cause even if you came out of that pit alive you were as good as dead" all of us are frozen now I kind of regret wanting to know about her pass but now I understood the burned marks on her arms at a poin of her live she was a little girl one that dint think danger could cross the wall's then her hole world gets turned upside down with the colossal titan coming then her family being eaten all of that cause her to grow up fast and push her feeling's aside pain,anger,rage,sorrow I think she never got time to grieve it had cause her to grow from a delicut flower into a wild animal she had barricaded her feelings but every once in a while they would break but close up again this time they dint all the years of pain and suffering had created a dent that couldn't be fixed bit by bit it keep breaking just like the petals of the flower were being ripped by the wind "and it dint stop there 'the shrikes' the thing every one hates and fears me for I was born with it I was already a genetic mutation of course they were gonna use that to there advantage but before it couldn't cause internal damage it was only a blast thats it but there is almost the same training you have a core of ten making you top in class from 500 kids that were there 20 came out on top sadly me being one of them you think that things will get easier form there on but the lucky ones were the ones with the lowest of scores from does 20 that came out on top only 6 survive reason why I can do this things reason why Johh can turn into a 20-meter class why Nora and Necko can see in the dark why tony is faster than any other human reason Dilan looks how he looks reason why we all have highly developed censes is cause we were all MUTATED" now I truly regret wanting to know about her pass she takes out a knife that was hidden in the glove were the hell does she get all this shit she gives it to Levi "go ahead...kill me" Jean flinches at the words 'kill me' a tiny smile crosses her face now I could see how damage she truly was she said that some that made it out of the pit came back insane she said that some pulled true but she never said they pulled true with there sanity intact "go ahead I got nothing to lose and neither do you lots of people want me dead why not just do them a favor" the tiny smile staid on her face she was truly broken she was looking at Levi but her mind was somewhere else something was waiting to snap inside of her she was ready to break down I could see tears forming in the conner of her eyes but none of them dropped never once have I seen her cry I wasan't even sure she could form tears until now "go ahead nobody is gonna miss me my hole family is gone I have no were to run and why should I keep trying to run theres is no reason for me to try and save my self" no tears dropped Levi let go the knife "I would never kill someone who saved my live even wend she just could have killed me and every one with one whistle plus you asked that brat not to hurt any of us you spared are lives I think we can spare yours" her eyes widen but all of us new what he was saying was true she had lots of opportunities to kill all of us but she dint she turned away "there probably just gonna kill me tomorrow at the tribunal any way I have no reason to save my self I'm tired of this" she walked inside till know I dint realize that I had label her as an enemy wend she truly was a friend...
((Jean))
the rest of the day went by a blur I find my self lying in bed looking up at the ceiling "why does she always do that?" I look around in the darkness from the small crack under the door I could see a shadow fading away she always got up at this hour she said that it was cause of nightmares but could she have them every night? a pillow hits me "the hell!" "you go and get her" Connie mumbled true his pillow "why me" "cause you have a higher chance of survival just incase shes angry or something" "and since wend did you get so smart" "I dint it's just simple logic" I groan standing and throwing the pillow back at him before walking out I turn "if I'm not back in an hour she killed me" I walk over to the porch and just as I expected she was sitting down on the steps I open the door she looked over her shoulder but turned back "something wrong?" I asked blankly I wasan't sure what feel right now I sit down next to her "just lost in some thoughts I guess" something was cupped in her hands a piece of paper I think but I ignored it I had a bigger question to ask her one that had been bothering me since this morning "why did you do it?"
((sry if there some typos her lol its night over here right now any tips or recommendation are greatly appreciated ^w^ dont be shy sry I could fix it today))