After lunch in the cafeteria, the Joker found himself being dragged towards the door where everyone else was going through. Puzzled, he looked at the dark orderly to his left. "Why ain't we going back to my cell?" No answer. "Am I getting another fucking shot?" He groaned.

"No. Shut up." The Joker stuck out his tongue but went through the door without saying anything else. A minute later, he realized where they were headed.

"The Rec Room!" He exclaimed gleefully, a smile stretching across his face. "How'd I even get permission?" Somehow, he knew the answer before the guard said anything.

"Your shrink spoke to Dr. Arkham 'bout it. Crazy, if you ask me. But we gotta do what she says and watch you."

The guard to his right had dark hair and a thick beard. His name was Timmy. "Damn, she is one fine piece of ass. Any man who ain't a fag would agree. You a fag, clown?"

The Joker's jaw tightened but he kept on smiling. "I like women, sorry, Timmy. I know how hard it is for you not to rape me in the showers. What can I say? I can't help being this attractive."

"Shut the fuck up!" The other orderly said. "I told you once, I ain't telling you again!"

"Whatever." The Joker growled.

xxx

There were seven or eight inmates in the Rec Room when the Joker arrived, depending on how many people Two-Face counted as. Everyone was sitting alone, except for Jervis Tetch and Jonathan Crane, who were playing chess. Killer Croc sat with his back against a wall, and appeared to be asleep, and there was a woman with greyish hair on the couch, watching a show on TV about cooking. There were a few others the Joker didn't really recognize, since they were nobodies, not worth his time.

"Harv!" He called across the room, and a man with half a face turned to look at him. The former District Attorney of Gotham slowly made his way over to his fellow Rogue.

"J." Harvey greeted in a flat tone. "Long time, no see. Well, I see you in the cafeteria, but we never get to talk. When's the last time you been in the Rec Room?"

The Joker stepped forward and stretched out his hand, which Two-Face took and shook. "It's been about half a year, I guess." He shrugged.

"How'd you get in anyways?"

A wry smile crept onto the man's pale face. "Heard about the new doctor?" Harvey nodded. "Quinzel. She's my shrink, and she thought this would be good for me. Hilarious, huh?" He started laughing uncontrollably. "I mean, last time I was here, I killed two guys!"

Harvey smirked, then waved a hand. "C'mon over here, J. We got some catching up to do." The pair retreated to the couch, after the Joker merely looked pointedly at the woman sitting there, eyebrow raised. She immediately left. "So, your doctor." Harvey prompted. "Tell me how she's been. Got time on the couch yet?" He winked.

His friend sighed dramatically. "No, she's too goody-goody for that. Would rather break an arm than a rule. But don't worry, we're working on that." He giggled. "She's a sweet kid. Young, pretty, smart. Naïve, too." He added. "She's already getting worn out by me."

"I wish I got a new shrink." Two-Face sulked. "Mine's a bitch."

"Sorry, Harv," The Joker laughed. "So what's been going on with the other freaks?"

"Nothing really. Got a coupla new ones, but they're just some small-timers. Eddie's been his annoying self, Croc's still not too sociable, Jervis and Jonathan been playing chess all the time. Pammie's still out, laying low I guess. I wish the Bat would drag her in so I could give her a piece of my mind."

"Minds." The Joker corrected. "Sounds like I haven't been missing much. That's a relief. Wouldn't want anything fun to happen while I was gone." He said. "And everybody knows I'm the life of the party anyways. Right, Johnny?" He called across the room to the thinner, dark-haired man. Jonathan Crane glanced up, annoyance flashing in his bright blue eyes.

"Sure, Joker." The Scarecrow replied, shaking his head and focusing back on the chess board. "Whatever you say."

"Exactly!" The Joker crowed. "So, I gotta go soon, I think. My session is coming up in about an hour. Little Harleen's probably pining for me right about now. You know how the ladies just fall to my feet. Right, Johnny?" He shouted again.

Crane merely yelled back. "Shut up!"

"Jeez. Touchy, that one." He commented to Harvey. "That's what happens when you don't get laid."

"I'm sure you've gotten laid quite recently, J, especially being locked up in this hellhole." Two-Face responded with dry humor.

He wagged his finger at the former DA. "I don't kiss and tell, Harv."

"Thank God." He muttered. "I would hate to hear about all of your many conquests with the superbly attractive women in the Asylum."

"Hey, you gotta admit, my doc is a pretty cute gal. And I'm sure she's falling head over heels in love with moi." The Joker started to get up, clapping Harvey on the back. "Ah, it's been good, Harv, but I must skedaddle. I'm sure I'll see you again. I'm going to behave this time."

Harvey snorted. "Whatever, J. Have fun in therapy. Who knows, maybe you'll be joining us in Group sometime soon." He joked, before the orderlies entered and restrained the Joker.

"Bubye!" The clown giggled.

xxx

"So where is he right now?" Harleen asked, puzzled. There she was, standing in the doorway of her office, with Todd Baker in front of her, and no Joker in sight. She crossed her arms. "Has he been bad again?"

"Uh, no, Ms. Quinzel. I just wanted to talk to ya. Yanno, get to know ya better. We gonna be workin' together for a while, huh?" He laughed uncomfortably, and Harleen stared at him.

"Oh, well, that's nice." She said finally. "But I'm sorry to be rude, but it's Dr. Quinzel, not Ms. Quinzel. I worked hard to get that degree." She joked, but her heart wasn't in it.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Todd laughed again, but this time there was a hint of a sneer in his tone. Harleen felt a sharp pain in her chest. Bastard, she thought to herself.

So she stood there, feeling upset and impatient. "Is he going to be here soon?" She didn't have the time or energy for this.

"Sure. He did okay in the Rec Room, Timmy said." He paused and an awkward silence settled. "You gotta crush on him or somethin'?" He teased. "You care more 'bout him than me!"

"He is my patient, Mr. Baker." Harleen replied, giving a tight smile. "You're a guard."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You don't have to act like you're better than me."

"I'm actually going to go into my office now. So let me know when the Joker actually gets here, not ten minutes ahead of time." She nodded to him curtly, then returned to her office, closing the door with more force than necessary.

She sighed to herself sadly. She would rather talk to a psychopath than that pathetic excuse for a man. Anxiously, she glanced at the clock and waited for her patient to come.

AN: Ouch, Harls! A bit harsh, huh? Well, Todd's being a little bitch, so I can't blame her :P

Next chapter they'll have their session, so yay! Can't believe I'm posting Chapter 10 now! This story is just so much fun for me to write.

And I don't know about anyone else, but I like the idea of the Joker and Two-Face being friends. And yes, I know he speaks differently to Harvey than Harley, mainly because he isn't trying to charm Harvey in the same way as young, uptightish Harleen.

Review, review, because it makes me warm and fuzzy inside. K, bye! :*