Author's Note: This story needs to end. Anyone getting bored of it? I am. As my beautiful/woman before her time grandmother would say: "Here's to those who wish us well and those who don't can go to hell." (Another fantastic quote by her appears in this story) And this story is only being written because there are too many notes on my cell phone about it. This is rushed, but I'll live. There will be another chapter.
Day 2
Opening her eyes slowly she felt compelled to shut them again. She was comfortable, her arm over Marissa's side but the sunlight was assaulting her senses. It was warm and peaceful but contrasted with her physical state. Her back was tense, she knew she'd have to stretch as soon as possible, she had slept all of maybe three hours in a dreamless sleep. They hadn't talked for the remainder of the night. The dinner went by with empty conversation of how was your day, how's so and so and overall it was a civil choir that seemed mundane. At least it did to Alex, but at least there was a heartfelt goodnight kiss before they got into bed.
And now here they were. Laying in Marissa's bed and the former blond couldn't decide if she should slip out of the bed and head to work or stay. Should I stay or should I go? The Clash make it into my head this early?
No wanting to wake Marissa or disturb her from her sleep Alex decided she needed to get to work instead of spending minutes debating her options. Her legs made up her mind for her when they pressed into the floor. Looking over her shoulder at the sleeping girl she let her eyes wander over the peaceful girl. She was surprised she could sleep when she herself felt restless and tense. It could have been her brother and how he was drastically changing her internal rhythm. Everything felt shifted and now she didn't even want to go back to her apartment. It felt invaded. But she turned back around, pressed her hands into her thighs and stool up. Briefly stretching and feeling a few joints crack and her spine elongate she felt her stomach become colder as her shirt rode up. Nearly jumping out of her skin, if that were possible she recoiled away from something even more cold. Marissa's hand slid up her lower back and rested there.
"Okay, I'm definitely up now,she said with a light sigh and tried not to move away from the touch even though her body protested and wanted to step away.
"Come back to bed," Marissa said gently, almost pleading.
"Work, and its Friday so you still have school, unless it got swallowed or more realistically they decided the education system fails," Alex said tiredly.
"Fingers crossed. And you know if I don't show up that only proves the wonderful system doesn't work," Marissa said with lightness in her voice as she moved her hand to Alex's hip and tried to pull her back into bed. The movement didn't seem possessive but non-verbally expressed a want. And turning around to fully face her girlfriend she slowly leaned down, allowed her own arm to glide along Marissa's side as she lightly kissed her lips.
"Still have to get to work, some of us have bills, an apartment, a business..."
"You're not normal," Marissa sighed and fell further into the bed but lacked any viciousness.
"If I was normal you'd be bored and I'd be bored of myself," the now standing girl said with a smirk and moved away towards her bag. It only took her a minute to change, pick Liv up and look back over at her girlfriend who was already close to sleep again.
"Go to class at some point, at the least to socialize and fake that you're social chair," Alex said with a bit of sarcasm. Truth be said she was a little envious that Marissa had the luxury to sleep in do what she wanted, but at the same time she was aware that people perceived a girlfriend a certain way, most would still think she's straight, and to be fair maybe she was straight but only liked Alex.
The former blond had to admit that happened to people, sexuality was complicated and at the same time simple because it was universal, but it was fluid, people changed from their experiences, genetics, external circumstances and what have you. But when it came to Marissa she wouldn't want her life. Julie Cooper and her daughter always seemed to walk on glass around one another while holding little daggers hidden under expensive clothes. She on the other hand lived her life the way she wanted. And she didn't have a mother to talk to her, which may make her life easier. Shaking her head she stopped her thoughts, already conscious that she didn't really envy her girlfriend's life.
"Mmmm," was the barely coherent reply from the taller girl who now moved closer into Alex's spot on the bed. Her eyes closed as she laid on her side and tried to get back to sleep-land, a place that was better than dreamland for her. Not being able to help herself the professional moved closer again and kissed Marissa on the cheek and headed back to her apartment to shower and head to work.
By the time she got to her apartment she felt tense, her back cracked if she moved her shoulders, and when she turned her key only to realize she locked her door she grumbled at the opening. If my place got broke into, so help me, I'll let Jodie kill him.
Pushing the door and stepping in she was glad to see nothing was taken but there was a mess all over the couch, the coffee table, the kitchen...and at that point she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.
Take a shower, go to work, come back here, ignore little brother. She thought over her to do list and quickly made her way upstairs. Her routine went by quickly, she didn't relieve any tension as she drove to work listening to Explosions In the Sky, tapping her index finger against the steering wheel as she tried to not think about cleaning her apartment.
Luckily when she got to work no one bothered her, Liv stayed with Jodie and her day went by quickly, she didn't even have the time to notice that Marissa didn't text or call, even as it approached 7 'o'clock.
Jodie had stopped in around six to say she was stealing Liv because her girlfriend wanted her back. At least that warranted a smirk from the taller girl as Liv trotted over to the darker brunette. Closing up the office she felt more stiff as she searched through her Ipod and decided on Jose Gonzalez for the sake of calm music and the warm wind that flowed through her Jeep. The drive wasn't nearly as long enough as she would have liked. When she reentered her apartment it looked even more chaotic, this time there was a random guy sleeping on the couch. Not having the patience or care to find out who the person was she walked over and picked his feet up by the laces of his shoes and let them drop on the floor, immediately waking him up. However the guy remained groggy and slowly wiped the drool from his mouth. He frowned at Alex and sat up more, checking her out in the process in a blatantly clear way.
"Listen up kid, you have two minutes to get out of here or I will resort to using fire," she said sincerely as she placed her hands on her hips and looked down at him. She wasn't in the mood and there were ways to setting his shirt on fire, just for the hell of it.
In response the guy, who she assumed was her brother's friend appeared to lose his fatigue and stood up.
"Ah, okay. Bye," he said in a quick fluster as he shut the door. Looking around again she took in the mess. The only response she could do was close her eyes, if only for a few brief seconds. Dear God, please make my place clean. She thought and kept her eyes shut for another couple seconds only to squint and open one eye to peer out with pure speculation.
"I knew you didn't exist!" She said with a small amount of humor. Anything to distract herself was welcomed, even if she already knew what was to come, like watching a romantic comedy, only at the moment her life wasn't very romantic or comedic.
"Aaron!" The former blond said, raising her voice, aware that he would be in the guest bedroom.
"What's up?" He said as he came strolling out of the room bringing the smell of pot wafting after him. Raising her eyebrows she narrowed her eyes.
"You can't have people over. I thought I already laid out simple rules so you could stay here for a few days," she said tiredly.
"Dude, he just needed a place to crash for the day," he replied, unaffected by his sister's annoyance.
"I don't care."
"That's why you're a bitch," he replied with an easy shrug accompanying his flat tone. Instead of becoming annoyed as she knew he wanted her to be and rise to the cheap bait she frowned and smirked.
"Ah well," she said with her own shrug. "Three more days," she finished. The little reminder being a nice note for him. And then turned to go up and take her shower.
The rest of the night she cleaned as he stayed in the guest room and likely indulged in something she almost wanted. When she was finally done with cleaning and having a small dinner around nine she got into bed and picked up a book only to fall asleep after almost an hour of reading.
Day 3
Sometime was weighing her down and slightly tickling her. Her brain wasn't processing everything yet as she stretched out and enjoyed the light sensations that were focused on her neck. The movement caused more weight to be put on her, but it didn't feel confining, it was comfortable and somehow relaxing with the heat that came with it. A luxurious moan ended up escaping her mouth which came out as something that resembled a purr. The weight shifted off of her, the warmth removing as well, making Alex open her eyes slightly to see her girlfriend covering her mouth with her hand trying to hold in her chuckle that had no way of being fully contained. Small chuckles came from the fully awake girl as Alex looked up and pleasantly took in their positions and let it sink in that she could get used to waking up this way. Reaching her hands out she held Marissa's waist and pulled her back down gently, content to not speak right now and simply enjoy that she was there.
Marissa's arms came up along side Alex's head so she could look down at her before leaning forward and kissing along her jawline again, making her way towards her neck again.
"Mmmm."
Pulling back Marissa stopped her ministrations again and in turn denied her girlfriend anymore enjoyment from her physical affection. Sighing the still half asleep girl pressed her fingertips against the seemingly teasing girl's lower back to try to move her closer but instead Marissa only started laughing, this time without restraint.
"Ugh, what?" Alex asked but wasn't annoyed. Amusement was the more appropriate term.
"You...are...so...damn....cute," Marissa said very slowly, making the point to have the message overtly obvious and lingering as she glided her fingers along the former blond's lower stomach where her tank top had ridden up.
"I am never cute," Alex replied with certainty and emphasized the never.
"That's right," said with a nod. "You're sometimes cute," she said with a smirk and leaned down again to kiss her neck. "At least every other day," she whispered in her ear as she nipped the skin.
They spent nearly a half hour kissing and keeping up with their playful banter until Marissa's phone rang. Summer was close to yelling at her about being late to school. From Alex's point of view, which allowed for unbridled observation she could see Marissa's facial expression shift from amused to boredom and finally self deprecation. If anyone cared to notice, behind the popular girl's nonchalant attitude and bravado was a person who deeply cared about the connection to had to her few friends. When it came to Summer they went beyond friends. This was not only Marissa's best friend but she was more or less a sister and in many ways the teen hated to disappoint her.
"Sorry to make out and run, but I gotta go," Marissa said with another smirk that barely hide the inward criticism of her tone.
"Okay, I'll see you tonight maybe?" Alex asked softly, still enjoying the moment and the fact that Marissa hadn't moved.
"Summer said there's two more projects to do. I don't know I can," said with an edge of defeat in her voice.
"Alright, but if you have any questions on it you can call," the now fully awake girl said.
"You're usually a distraction, calling would be bad," she said leaning down again, her lips coming into contact with Alex's.
"Yeah and this isn't a distraction at all," she mumbled contently as she wrapped her arms around the taller girl again as though to will her to stay longer. A second later her phone rang again. Before she could even say hello Summer was yelling into the phone and Alex could hear everything as though Summer was in the room with them.
"Marissa Cooper, stop making out with your girlfriend! Yes, you are that predictable, now move it!"
The taller girl didn't seem to feel the need to respond since she shut her phone and threw it back on the bed, effectively disregarding her best friend for a minute as she kissed Alex harder as though she were trying to commit it to memory so she could get through her school day.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Another phone call, this time Marissa glared at Alex after she exclaimed her annoyance as the girl stretched out to retrieve it from the nightstand. Not bothering to look at the screen, assuming it would be Jodie calling about work or to patronize her.
"Pet pitbull! Let Marissa get to school!" Summer's impatient voice came through the phone. Alex's eyes widened and looked at her girlfriend who flinched at the tiny girl's tone that somehow managed to be intimidating and commanding from miles away.
"Um..."
"No um, no but, no excuses. Step one-remove your hands. Step two-lead her to your front door," she said with conviction.
Alex frowned. "How do you know where my hands are?" She asked and felt her hand twitch that was holding onto Marissa's hip.
"Because you're softer than cotton candy when it comes to her. NOW GET UP. And you can go to work," she finished in a nicer tone, though none of the conversation was said with malice.
"Okay, bye," replied quickly and shut her phone before she could be mocked again.
Sighing and falling back into her pillow she felt Marissa run her hands under her shirt up her stomach.
"You have to go," the content brunette said as she moved her hands behind her head and stretched some more.
"Okay, okay," Marissa said and slowly got off of Alex. "I'll see you....when I see you," she finished and started her descent on the winding staircase.
Reluctantly pushing herself up the frustrated girl made her way towards her shower. Taking another quick shower that was too fast to allow her to relax she got dressed went to work and did her usual file work, organizing, notes and orders. When she was done she again didn't have the time to notice that Marissa didn't contact her as she fell into her bed after another small dinner.
Day 4
Annoying wake up from the ringing of her phone. Though really it wasn't a ring, the vibrations made her get up.
She received a text message.
Marissa: See you at my place tonight or I come to yours?
Alex rubbed her head, she didn't have to get up for another half hour...
Fumbling with her phone, her fingers not interested in moving yet she replied-come over here? I'll make you dinner.
She received another reply less than ten seconds later-Well you sold me there.
A smirk adorned her face and she turned over to sleep some more.
The rest of the day went as per usual but with more mockery from Jodie about how Liv is starting to call her Mama. The former blond could only sigh and say her dog couldn't speak. To which Jodie replied that she says it with her eyes.
"Go away," Alex said and shooed her away with her hand humorously.
"I'm good, I'm gone," Jodie said in a sing song way channeling Lykke Li's lyrics as she went back to her office.
And the rest of the day was typical. Luckily when she got back to her apartment Aaron was in the guest room, being quiet, and even though Alex could smell the pot she was content knowing he was going to stay in his room. A few minutes after she walked into the kitchen and had set her groceries down Marissa walked in. Setting her bag against the couch she moved slowly to the kitchen, wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, her right arm touching the slightly shorter girl's neck and kissed her without an reserve.
"Mmm, did you have a good day?" Alex finally asked after a minute of composing herself and leaning against the dark marble counter.
"Not really," Marissa said gently with a shrug and tried to appear calm but it was obvious to Alex that she was tense.
"Dinner later? Want to sit down?" The business owner said and moved towards the couch, the latter girl slowly following. "Wait, you sit on the floor," Alex instructed.
Even though Marissa raised her eyebrows she took a seat on the floor after Alex placed a pillow on the ground and then sat behind her. Briefly moving the lighter brunette's hair away from her shoulders she cracked her knuckles and started to press her fingers into her girlfriend's shoulders eliciting an unrestrained moan as her shoulders slumped down more. The massage continued for a few minutes, both unaware that Aaron had come out of his room and stood with his mouth open. It wasn't until his voice cut through and disturbed the moment that Alex stopped moving her hands.
"Aw come on, that was hot," he said with a smirk. One of the many facial expressions Alex wanted to wipe off his face.
"Leave," she said tiredly, not even bothering to humor her brother.
"Alright, alright," he said as he started walking away but the turned on his heels and made a gun motion to Marissa, "But if you ever want the real thing, you come to me," he finished with a wink and immediately the surfer took her hands off of he girlfriend's shoulders and placed them on her hips.
Looking over her shoulder Marissa patiently waited for Alex, though she was clearly annoyed about the situation she simply chose to remain unattached. "Do you want to lay down with me?"
"Okay," the former blond replied with a sigh and made her way around the couch to lean back into it to allow Marissa to fall back into her. They sat in comfortable silence even though they were aware an antagonizing force was a room over. It would be redundant to discuss it but Marissa clearly felt that she had to as she kept taking in deep breaths as though to prepare herself for a conversation.
"He leaves in a day?" She asked gently.
"Yeah," the reply came softly but Marissa could feel Alex's tension behind her.
"Okay, because I miss spending time...just with you," the taller girl got out as she held onto Alex's knee and gave it a light squeeze.
"I miss time just with me too," she replied with a light tone that rounded off the end of her statement.
"You're a pain," Marissa said with a hint of laughter in her tone.
"Mmm. Want dinner now?" Alex said shifting back to their previous topic.
"Might as well, no school tomorrow and I'm going to sleep in. Are you going to work?" She asked as she removed herself from the couch.
"Probably," Alex replied as she followed Marissa into the kitchen and then stopped to stretch, a sigh coming from Marissa that seemed disappointed. "I'm going to make a quick meal, soup and rolls okay?"
"Yeah, sounds good," Marissa said detached making Alex frown as she prepared the meal. As the soup was heating up she grabbed the multi-grain rolls and cups and spoons. For the next fifteen minutes their routine went smoothly. They ate, didn't talk much except for when Marissa asked about a band or work or going on a date soon. Alex couldn't answer right away and guarantee a date in the next three days without looking at her schedule. By the time the dishes where in the dishwasher and all the lights were turned off and they were undressing for bed both girls seemed exhausted.
As they settled in, Marissa in her tank top and underwear, Alex in her boy shorts and fitted t-shirt; noticing that the high school student was shivering Alex asked if she was alright.
"I'm just cold," she said simply. Holding Marissa tighter she whispered in her ear.
"I know a way to warm you up," Alex said slowly and elicited a subtle reaction from the shivering girl who turned her head and kissed along Alex's jaw; not in a sexual way that implied that she wanted to have sex with her. It was a simple, non-verbal thank you. Alex got out of bed and came back with a sweater and a renewed smirk on her face.
"Such a smart ass," Marissa said as she was getting the item on and settled back in with a small smile.
In less than five minutes they were asleep.
Day 5
By morning Alex had to get up early and head to work leaving Marissa in bed to sleep in as she wanted. Quietly she took her shower, got dressed and left the apartment. She didn't even have enough time to pour herself a cup of coffee before Jodie came over and bluntly asked, "Is the tool is gone?
Sighing and filling her cup up all the way she kept looking at the dark liquid, unwilling to dilute it with cream and said, "Today. He's leaving today."
"Better be, but I'm coming over, because I can," Jodie said to Alex's back as the business owner made her way into her office. She had no doubt that her close friend wasn't bluffing.
Hours flew by but instead of staying the whole day, since it was a Saturday she decided on a half day and left a little after two. She knew it wasn't really a half day; it extended beyond the half way mark, but she, Jodie and about four other people were the only ones in the offices and most had left after they'd finished their work.
When she got back to her apartment she took a deep, conscious breath. She had to prepare herself for walking into the house that would never be her home as long as Aaron was there.. It was like a war that was never spoken of. Silent as though the two people inside were deaf and had no way of communicating. She knew she had given up the effort years ago and they settled into the comforting idea that it was constant and now typical. It had been the same way with her parents, the obligatory common courtesy and putting on a civil act in front of others. She kept staring at the door. Shaking her head, about to reach for the handle she stopped. Her body was becoming used to the tension. It was working its way into her bones and muscles, reaffirming her attempt to become emotionally absent and hardened. She couldn't stop herself from thinking though. Back in her parent's house she remembered-she would enter and go directly to her room. Now, she was about to walk into HER apartment and she stopped herself to ask- am I malleable at this moment? He's family...her brother made her feel as though it wasn't hers. He made her feel unlike herself. Still, I'm me. Its a constant even when I don't want to be. But I wonder what I've lost. How is it measured? Time is money, but I'm not going to get a refund. Oh, screw this.
She pushed open the door, sick of her own self-indulgent thoughts. Clenching her jaw she looked over her apartment and saw Marissa in the kitchen. Behind her was Aaron who's mouth was moving but from the distance she couldn't hear what he was saying. As she got closer, she could make out the words, "Like I said, I'm the real thing and the better Kelly. You shouldn't be dating my sister," the end of his statement coming out with an undertone of disgust even though he tried to sound casual.
"Get out," Alex said in a chilled tone that left nothing of warmth as she moved closer to Marissa.
"Hey, can't blame a guy for trying," he said with a smile that was meant to come off as charming, but instead Marissa only moved closer to Alex.
"You need to leave." She said with control.
A door slammed, "Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news," she paused and frowned but offered a smile that seemed more for herself. "Wow, I'm getting better at that, it almost sounded sincere," and raised her hands in a small, sardonic gesture that resembled a cheer then placed her hands back near her sides. "But who am I kidding? I love this moment," she said emphasizing the word love while she smiled gleefully. "Aaron, get the fuck out." Jodie finished coldly.
"Aww the bitch is back," Aaron said in an attempt to appear calm by downplaying the past, but didn't manage to mask it since his shoulders squared and he took a step away from Alex and Marissa.
"Nope, I'll be outside, waiting for you to leave," Jodie said calmly and left just a quickly as she had come in.
"You have five minutes to get what you have and leave," Alex interjected. Aaron shifted his eyes back over to Alex and the flash of anger came so suddenly that she didn't have time to register the punch to her face.
"You always have to be such a bitch," he said as his hand was still in a fist. Lifting her head back up to look him in the eyes she narrowed her gaze.
"Like father-like son," she said in a monotone, unwilling to engage.
"Whatever," he said dismissively and turned around to get his things.
Marissa stood stunned, it was fast and chaotic on such a small scale but it was also painfully pointless. He had no reason to hit her, no one should hit her and she didn't do anything. She was beyond furious that she stood there immobile, processing the actions.
Four minutes passed and loud noises could be heard from the guest room. Thirty seconds later Aaron was about to step foot out the door.
"Stop," Alex said commandingly and surprisingly Aaron halted but turned around with a grin on his face. Reaching down and unzipping the bag she pulled out a record. His smile vanished having assumed they'd have a confrontation and he'd get a chance to possibly punch her again or at least give emotional damage. Tucking the rare music under her arm, she narrowed her eyes to the slightest degree. He got the message as he let out an annoyed huff and walked out. She however kept staring at the door, almost daring it to open again but let her shoulders drop when a few seconds had passed. Turning around she walked back over to the kitchen and set the vinyl on the counter. Waiting a moment for Alex to look at her and then deciding that her girlfriend wasn't going to talk Marissa gently touched Alex's forearm. In a way that said she was with her and wasn't leaving but also that she was physically there.
"How did you know he had it-the album....?" Marissa asked hesitantly, starting with a question that seemed easy and light.
"I know him. He doesn't know me," she replied tersely and finally looked up at Marissa who had tears in her eyes that were right on the edge of their escape onto skin. Alex couldn't look at her right then, she was the cause of that. More drama and family issues that Marissa didn't need. Then again, who ever needs it? Alex backed away slowly and moved out of Marissa's reach to stare at a wall. She kept staring, as though it held a secret, a release and a lie.
"Don't punch your wall," Marissa said quietly but with certainty and a hint of the wife tone that Alex took notice of.
"Its my apartment Riss, I can do what I want," Alex countered, annoyed, but not at her girlfriend, a fact they were both aware of.
"Yeah," Marissa said louder, agreement in her tone, "But I like your hands," she finished softly.
They stared at one another. Alex finally stopped glaring at the wall. Marissa took the few steps towards the brooding girl, free of any hesitancy and gently held her hand.