Blinking as he once again looked around at a very familiar dojo, Shirou wondered what went wrong as all he did was taking a damn nap!

Glancing above, the words "Mikon Dojo!" with the silhouettes of two females with animal ears facing each other drifted by with a lazy air. As a belated side note, he was seeing himself in third person as he waved his hand over the words.

Shirou wondered if the omake writer was on crack as Japanese idol music suddenly blared out, the lights dimming to near darkness, two shadows with fox ears and tails drop to the floor in front of him and posed as if the first was about to crane kick someone and the second doing a ground pound.

"To shower our readers with our love," the lights shine on the first one, revealing blue colored courtesan clothing, pink hair and golden eyes, "Tamamo-no-Mae appears!"

"Filling your stomachs with omurice," lights then shine on the second one revealing a a maid outfit, animal paws on her hands and feet and a similar physical appearance to Tamamo, "Tamamo Cat (just call me Cat!) appears! Woof!"

The two then began to move their bodies around to provide loads of fanservice for all of those who only care for the T and A.

...you know who you are...

"WELCOME," the two said as they stood straight up and began to clap, "TO THE MIKON DOJO!"

For some reason all the music paused just to let the sound of a kazoo drift by for a few seconds before resuming.

"Now," Tamamo said as she pointed up in the air, "Normally, You'd be in these dojos is because you had died or reached a bad end, but not this time!"

"That's right, rahr!"Cat said while jumping, her breasts seemingly going in Baywatch slo-motion as they bounced around, "This time, you are here along with our viewers just to see some advertising! We totally aren't doing this to get more screentime! Honest, Wo-oof!"

We see Tamamo slam an elbow into Cat's gut, sending her offscreen with a crash.

"And now," Tamamo said, acting as if she didn't cause an act of violence, "Our feature item we are advertising!"

The lights again go to near pitch darkness and the forms of Tamamo and Cat are barely seen moving things around as the music stops playing only for a drum roll to play for a minute. Once the drum roll ends, the lights center on a pedestal with a black can with a massive green M appears. On each side is both Tamamo's in a cheering pose with fanfare music playing along.

"It's the Micoon (TM) Energy Drink!"

Tamamo abruptly appears in front of the screen as she opens up a can of Micoon, chugs it down and throws away the can into a trashcan twenty feet away with a perfect non-look backhanded throw.

"Need the energy to write millions and millions of words everyday-hey?!"

Tamamo is then seen being pushed into the background by Cat who is also drinking a can of Micoon before crushing the can with her forehead.

"Got a busy day and little time to recover? Mikoooon!"

At this, Cat was grabbed by her leg and flung away by Tamamo, who was chugging down another Micoon can before tossing it in an angle, where it bounces and ricochets several times before entering another trashcan.

"Ran out of energy for your Tantric Ritual with your Servant? Mikooooon~!"

Cat again with a tackle you'd see in American Football, once again drinking and crushing a can of Micoon with her forehead.

"Need to be at the top of your game before a battle? Mikoooooon~!"

A Dropkick by Tamamo sends Cat flying away. Another chugging of Micoon and suddenly something that looks like a training dummy appears off distance as Tamano holds up a ball of flaming death above her head.

"Need your Noble Phantasm to be at six hundred percent? Polygamy Castration Fist Style-"

At this point, Edward Teach walked in front of the training dummy, full of cheer.

"HEY GAIZ!" Edward bellowed out,"I HEAR WE'RE DOING A DO-"

"FLAMING CASTRATION BEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMM!"

"OHHHHH?! RIGHT IN THE NUTS!"

The screen zooms up to Teach's face of pain for several seconds. A subtitle appears saying "No balls were hurt during the filming of this ad! Honest!" right below his shaking chin.

The view switches back to the pedestal with the unopened can of Micoon with both Tamamo's present beside it. If one cared to look to the side is Teach in fetal position and whispering that Pirate's Glory saved his baby makers.

"This drink can bring you to the greatest heights!" The Tamamo's said in sync, "We guarantee the taste is supreme and in three thousand different flavors!"

A few seconds pass before both seem to lose the color in their bodies. Their bodies became SD figures as Tamamo knelt with her hands on her stomach trying not to hurl and Cat holding her head in pain.

"Ohhh..." Tamano groaned in pain, "Another drink and my E-Rank Endurance will explode!"

"I could handle another drink," Cat said while rubbing her head, "But crushing those cans feel like I'm hitting Gameboys on my head! Woof!"

"Quick Cat! Tell us what's our next to do!"

"Right, Woof! The next things are...mumble, mumble..."

The Tamamo's seem to be whispering to each other with things like "C-rank Endurance..." and "Recursive Anathema did do a pairing..." before staring at Shirou with hearts in their eyes.

"Shirou!" the duo screamed in happiness as they returned to their normal forms and dive bombed Shirou before he even took a step back to escape, "Love us!"

The screen quickly goes black as sounds of sex echo in the background.

"MICOON ENERGY DRINK," Bellowed a voice as it tried to volume over the sounds of sex, "FILLED WITH VITAMINS AND MINERALS TO KEEP YOUR BODY FIT! NOTE THAT IT DOES NOT REPLACE THE NEED FOR SLEEP AND IT DOES NOT GIVE YOU A TAMAMO TO HAVE SEX WITH NOR MAKE YOU A SEX GOD LIKE SHIROU EMI- YOU FUCKING BASTARD! GO EXPLODE AND DIE ON A-"

BZZT!

~Technical Difficulties!~

BZZT!

The screen lights up with both Tamamo's in bathroom robes, smoking on cigarettes (smoking is bad for you!) with Shirou in the center looking like a mummified corpse and the background looking like a heavily censored blur of white things dripping here and there.

"The Micoon (TM) Energy Drink" The Tamamo's said in sync with their hands in a v pose, "The official drink of Man Off The Moon!"

Emiya woke up in alarm as he woke up in the sleeper pod. He quickly checked his own body for missing parts before exiting to get a quick shower. Along the way, he spots Shepard drinking a black can.

"Yo Emiya!" Shepard said between gulps, "We got this new energy drink and-"

Let it be said among the Normandy that Shepards first order as a Spectre was to ban a certain drink ever appearing on board.