Enveloping Love- Chapter Ten
Taking the BlameDisclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I just want to screw around with the characters love lives.
Warning: Shojo-ai some other stuff. Very little violence.
I think this chapter might be a little off. Uh huh. I think this is complete and utter crap. Mindless senseless droning. But I guess I need something to move things along. I'm not sure I like it very much. I really need to move things along though. This would've been out on Monday but you see I've been a very busy girl. I shouldn't even be up typing this right now. I'm supposed to be asleep but there's this nagging voice at the back of my mind telling me to type this up. And my body is complete mush. So very tired. Argg… Well on with it.
((Mina's POV))
I don't know why I'm still with Ryu. I think I've made Rei jealous enough. But… I don't know. I know I should tell her. Still, I don't.
'What help would it do anyways? Arrggg…'"This is so confusing." I mutter gritting my teeth.
Looking back into the mirror I prepare to add on some make up. My fingers brush lightly against my lips. I remember when Ryu kissed me just the other day. I hadn't felt anything. No spark. No warmth. It was truly nothing.
Opposed to the kiss between Rei and I. I definitely felt something. Something indescribable but something great nonetheless. There was a spark. It pulled me in. There was an absolute warmth. It made me forget about everything wrong with my life. It made me feel as if I were… whole.
'It was something.' I know Rei has to be wrong. It wasn't nothing. If it were nothing I wouldn't think too much of it.
I kissed him back though. There I was kissing the guy just wishing he were Rei instead. I really can't help that I do these things. The way she'd acted when I told the others I was going out with Ryu was satisfying. It's just that I love how Rei gets so… irritated about my new relationship.
'She's so hot when she's angry. The way she gets all red and makes that face. And the violet fire that glows within her narrowed eyes… God! What am I thinking! Rei looks delicious all of the time…'
My goofy smile fades, "… Delicious?"
'Nononono! Bad thoughts outta my head… Now!'To banish all thoughts of chocolate syrup from my mind I slap my forehead. A little too hard.
"Ow ow ow ow." I rub my poor forehead.
My mother calls from downstairs. "Minako! Your date is here!"
Before going downstairs I adjust my bow. Looking one last time in the mirror I have to smirk. Rei has to go crazy over this. I'll get her. Nothing she says.
'Muahahhaa! That's enough for today. Time to test it out.'
Pulling my skirt down a bit and putting on my sweetest smile I descend the stairs confidently. Ryu is waiting at the bottom. My mother was nowhere in site.
"Hey." I say casually making the red haired boy look up.
He stood their mouth agape, practically drooling. This was a good sign. My smile grew wider yet I still rolled my eyes. Reflex I guess. Of course Ryu didn't notice due to the fact his eyes were too fixated on my chest. If my wardrobe had this effect on Rei this was definitely going to be fun.
When he realized exactly what he was doing he picked his jaw off of the floor and attempted to speak. "Er… you look, um… great."
I smile back at his as he lends me an arm. I take it. "You do too."
A few minutes later I found myself driving through a familiar neighborhood. We were supposed to show up at a party.
"So…" Ryu attempts to break our silence.
Looking away from the window I prepare for idly chitchat. "So?"
"Kai-chan is going to be at the party with your friend. Rei-san right?" He turns a corner and I look out of the window again.
I nod. "Yep. She told me."
I remember yesterday. How Rei told me Kai had asked her out and she'd said yes. Oh how hard it was to feign joy. And now. I'm dressed just for her. Maybe tonight we'll stop playing this stupid game of cat and mouse.
I was so enthralled in my thoughts I didn't notice the car had stopped and Ryu opened the door. Jerking from my thoughts I get out of the car.
Walking closer to a pale yellow two-story house I can hear the faint sound of music. Once at the door I spot Rei.
'Wow.' The only word my brain could generate at the first site of her.
Earlier thoughts I had banished started to resurface. 'Mm… chocolate syrup… on Rei… must have… now…' If I could get my body to function properly I would have slapped myself or at least looked away.
She wore a deep red halter-top showing a bit of cleavage and setting off those lips of hers. I especially noticed how the article clung to her slim curvy form. A black mini skirt stuck to her hips. It let to two long lightly bronzed legs. Taking in the site of her once more my eyes made their way up from those gorgeously tanned legs to her luscious cherry lips where my gaze lingered. Shaped perfectly like rose pedals the corners of her lips were upturned in a light smirk. A playful smirk. Almost teasing. I resisted the urge to lick my own lips. If it weren't for the lip-gloss I'm sure they would have been dry.
Somehow I manage to meet her striking violet tinted eyes with my own. It was only a brief moment before she looked away. There was a glimpse of something. Something vague. I tried to read it but the emotions were all pushed back so quickly I couldn't.
"Should we go in now?" I was thankful for Kai's words slapping me right out of my revere.
Once the door opened a rhythmic techno beat reached my ears. It was dimly lit and the air was perfumed with various colognes, sweat and alcohol.
There was a horde of people scrunched in what would have been the living room, I guessed. Some were dancing, some talking and others making their way quickly up the staircase.
"You guys want anything to drink?" Ryu offers raising his voice over the loud music.
I nod. "Sure."
"Would you like something as well Rei-chan?" Kai questions and accepts Rei's silent nod.
After the two boys disappear from sight I turn to find Rei just inches in front of me. I had no idea she was standing so close. I can feel the heat radiating off of her body. I can smell her perfume.
"I have a bad feeling about this. I think we should leave Mina-chan." She whispers despite the loud music. I can hear every word she says. To me she's the only one really there.
I pull away from the sensation gripping me and focus on the music. "Oh lighten up Rei-chan. It's a party. Have some fun!" Barely hearing my voice over the new pulsing beat I walk towards the dancing horde of people. I feel my hips begin to sway and my body smoothly moving to the beat.
"Mina-chan." Rei sternly calls after me. It's too late though. I'm already lost in the music.
I dance alone. Bending and letting a hand roam occasionally against my body. A pair of arms slip around my waist. Hands landing flat on the front of my thighs. I suppress a gasp at the sudden contact. I don't resist one bit as the arms pull me in a little closer. Wanting to be closer still I let myself lean into the person behind me. Hands caress the sides of my arms and the curve of my body. I stop myself from moaning at the feel of warm breath tickling against my ear and then my neck. My shoulder. How could something as simple as the heat of a breath on bare skin cause so many tingles? How could it make me feel so found yet so completely lost?
The music is coming to its eventual end. Again the assault of warm breath reaches my ear. I have to at least sigh. I think Rei heard me sigh. "Mina…" I can hear that teasing smirk in her voice. "I think we should leave now."
I pull away from Rei defiantly. Turning around to face her I lean in whispering huskily into her ear, "No way. I'm having way too much fun."
The music stops and before a new beat picks up I make my way out of the crowd. As I emerged from the sea of tangled limbs I spot Ryu and Kai walking back into the hallway with drinks in their hands. I eye the cups delightedly. Alas, something to heal my super parched throat.
It's hot I'm sweating and dying of thirst. I take the drink offered to me and gulp it down quickly. When the strong and slightly minty taste of alcohol finally reaches my brain I pull the cup away. Looking into it I see the amber colored liquid. The cup is now half empty. Or is it half full? Either way I take a sip.
I look over at Rei who is now beside me. She takes a sip. I note the way her head tilts back slightly, exposing her neck. The way her cherry lips part taking the edge of the cup to her mouth. It's enough to drive me mad. I look away and take another sip of the burning liquid. And another. And another. Until my cup is empty.
Soon I have another cup in my hand. It's finished in a few minutes so I get another and another. I think I should really stop at four but I cant help it. The way the taste stings, how strong it smells. But most of all the way it dulls the pain.
I realize I'm pulling Rei back onto the dance floor. I feel like nothing can stop me. I feel free and the pain is gone. I'm aware that I'm laughing but I'm not so sure it's me anymore. The room is spinning. I see my hand coming towards my face but I can't feel it. I'm numb.
Someone's talking. I think its Rei. I can see her eyes looking into mine. And then she's gone. Arms are wrapped around my waist. Almost possessively.
The blurred silhouettes of people passing by catch my attention. I desperately try to call out to them. I can't. Everything dims. There's a small light but it's gone soon. Why do I feel so weak when just minutes ago I felt so strong?
((Rei's POV))
After Mina suddenly leaves me on the dance floor I push my way past many grabby people. They seem to be extremely fond of my ass. Glaring I find my way by Mina's side. I notice the plastic cup in her hand as she brings it to her lips to take a sip. I see her cringe at the taste.
'It doesn't smell like alcohol in her for nothing.' I think. Also taking note of the various other odors in the air.
There's a cup being shoved into my own hands. I'm not big on underage drinking. They're watching me so I bring the plastic to my mouth cautiously. I pretend to take a sip. From the corner of my eye I can see Mina practically breathing in the stuff.
I try to send her a warning glance but she isn't paying attention at all. She gets another drink and another and another. Five to be exact. She seems to be drunk off her ass by now. All of a sudden she pulls me onto the dance floor. I'm not really fond of being near the grabby people again.
Out of nowhere she stops dancing and slaps her forehead. She makes a groaning noise that I barely catch. I ask her if she's all right but that damn Ryu cuts me off. I have no idea how fast they got there. Next thing I know Mina and Ryu are gone and Kai is pulling me to the center of the crowd.
"Let go." I seethe. He seems to either not be paying attention to what I just said or not hearing me over the music. I tug on my arm and he grips it tighter.
He stops to turn and glare at me. 'What the hell?' "Let go of me now." I yell over the music. Catching a few peoples attention.
"Will you keep it down." He commands.
I yank my wrist free and glare at him. "Stay the hell away from me." I turn on my heel and start to dash off but he grabs my wrist once again.
I stop mid step and stand they're not turning for a while. When he loosens his grip just a little I turn full force and punch his lights out. He falls to the floor and some people in the crowd are laughing and cheering. I push my way past them.
'Where could they have gone off too?' I look out the window seeing that bastard's car still there and start running up the stairs. Once at the top I look down to see Kai still knocked out.
"Damn it Mina." I mutter under my breath. Turning to my left I spot a door and dash towards it. Opening it I find it empty.
I move to the door directly across from it and find a couple right in the middle of ripping each other's clothes off. I mummer an apology and shut the door. I move for the next door. If there in one of these rooms it has to be this one. It's the only one left. My hand reaches the doorknob and its locked. They have to be in there.
I have no idea what in the hell to do so I knock.
No answer.
'Shit! Shit! Shit!' I pull out my cell phone and dial a number as fast as my fingers can.
I bang on the door again. "Occupied!" A voice comes from the other side. Sure enough it's that bastard. What else can I do? I could ram the door down….
The ringing on my phone is cut off.
Rei: Haruka!
Haruka: Rei? It's midnigh-
Rei: I'm at a party. Not too far from your place. It's on Locus. The only yellow house. Lots of cars. Don't ask just get here as fast as you can.
Haruka: I'll be there in five minutes.
Hanging up the phone with one hand I bang repeatedly on the door with the other. There's a loud shuffling sound I can barely hear over the music. Heavy footsteps follow.
As the door creaks open slowly there's a voice from behind it. "What the hell? Occupied. Don't you know what the hell that mean-"
My fist connects with his jaw making him stubble backwards a bit. After my shoe hits the side of his face he falls to the floor and I rush past him.
"Mina!" I pat her cheek lightly. The only response I get is a small groan. I lift her up from the bed. "What did that bastard do to you?"
She responds weakly, "Rei?"
"It's okay. Don't worry. I'm going to get you out of here." I make my way out of the door and into the hallway. Mina's a little heavier than I'd expected.
When I'm half way down the hall someone stands in my ways. Towering over me very threateningly. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The person sneers.
I look up into the flaming silver eyes of Kai. 'Damn it.' I know I can't fight him off unless I drop Mina and what if that bastard regains consciousness?
"Leaving." A familiar tenor voice says from behind Kai.
He turns away from me to face a sandy haired blonde. "Whoever the hell you are stay out of this. It's none of your business."
"Step aside." The blonde states calmly.
Kai replies irritant, "I said fuck off."
I vein pops on the blonde's head and she charges forward. Kai tries to defend himself but the blonde is too fast. With a quick but forceful jab to the stomach he's down.
"Let's go." Haruka says patiently motioning for me to follow and so I do. She sounds so calm and serious. It's different from her usual straightforward and cocky attitude.
I safely lye Mina down in the back seat of Haruka's yellow corvette and we drive off. Her head is on my lap and I watch her. She looks so peaceful. And then she begins to twitch and shuffle around. Not at all peacefully. I stroke my fingers through her hair.
"To your place?" Haruka ask with her eyes on the road. I know she wont pry. And I'm thankful for that.
I nod but remember she can't see the gesture. "Yes. Thank you Haruka-san."
"No problem." She dismisses it. Some of her earlier seriousness is disappearing.
((Mina's POV))
"Shh…" the voice tries to soothe me. Feigning sincerity. It only frightens me more.
I can barely feel hands roaming over my body. Touching me all over. Rough hands. I suddenly feel dirty. I try to move but I cant. I want to move. Someone's is holding me down.
'What's happening!' I want to scream but I can't find my voice. It's disappeared. I think I know what's happening. But I don't want it to be true. Pushing myself into the corner of my mind I curl up into a tight ball.
Lips press hard against my neck. And then move to my mouth with a bruising force I can feel dent my soul. A tongue forces my lips open probing the inside of my mouth. I feel like I might choke. I want it to stop but it wont. No matter how much I want it to end it doesn't.
A hand makes it's way up my shirt. It's coarse and sends cold and unpleasant shivers down my spine. How can I feel all this and still feel numb? Why can't I be numb? I don't want to feel this.
'Make it stop. Make it stop! Please!' I scream in the corner of my mind rocking back and forth.
I try to shut it out. It won't stop. "It's okay. Don't worry." I can hear her. She's here. I can feel her here.
"Shh…" It begins again and she's gone.
'No! Come back! Please! Don't leave me.' I call to her. 'Rei!'
((Rei's POV))
"Stop… No…" Mina mutters incoherently as she shuffles around.
I haven't taken my eyes off her since Haruka dropped us off. It was easy convincing Mina's mother to let her sleep over. 'Should I have taken her to the hospital?'
I don't know. I have no idea what to do. So I just watch her. I notice how every hour or so she starts to mumble and curl up into a ball rocking herself back and forth.
She starts to whimper and kick around. I hurriedly pry myself off of the uncomfortable chair and make my way over to her. Taking her hand in mine I whisper as gently as possible, "It's okay Mina. I'm right here."
After she calms down I begin to idly stroke her hair. She shuffles again and I squeeze her hand comfortingly.
"I should have told you Mina." I remove my hand from her hair and begin to caress her cheek. "If I wasn't such a coward maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt."
I sigh running a finger over her lips. They're so soft just like that day. If we didn't push what happened aside what would've happened? No. She tried to talk about it. I pushed it aside.
"I was so scared. So selfish. Did I even think of you? Did I know I was hurting you?" I can feel my voice start to crack. 'I really need some air.'
"Rei…" I freeze. My finger is still on her lips. I pull away slowly.
I relax and let the breath I've been holding out after her breathing evens. She's asleep again. I slip out of the room and wander around aimlessly.
'I knew those guys were bad news.' I think angrily. 'They'll both pay.'
I stop and hurl my already sore fist into the closest solid object. I savored the satisfying crunch as my fist meet a tree trunk. Pulling my hand away slowly I watch a small line of blood appear. I smile as the red liquid trickles down over my knuckles a droplet falling to the ground. I couldn't feel the sting. I could only see the blood.
The smile on my face changes from insane to regretful. "I thought it was for the best. I thought it would protect you. It only ended up hurting you. I hurt the one person I claim to love more than anything."
'Do you love her?' A question from my princess. A question to myself.That one question. Those four haunting words. The one word I fear. Love. It's plagued me for so long. Do I love her? I ask myself every time I see her or hear her or even just think of her. I know what the answer will be. Every time I ask. I already know.
"I love her. With all my heart. Everything I am is hers." I answer the echoing voice in my head.
"Rei?" I now realize something warm on my shoulder. I tense. The warmth leaves.
'No. God. Please no. Not like this.'
I turn as slowly as I possibly can. Dreading the obvious result.
'Let it be in my head. I can't do this. Not right now. I cant face her without…'I stare into the worried blue eyes of Minako. The look in her eyes. It makes me sad. She's worried about me. I don't want her to worry. Especially not about me.
Before I can get a word out she speaks again. "You're bleeding."
She gently pulls my hand into her own. She rips her eyes away from mine and seems to be studying my hand. I don't say a thing. Not one word. I'm incapable of speech.
'Did she hear me?'"Come on. We need to clean it. Don't want it getting infected." She turns away pulling me.
I don't budge and she doesn't turn to face me. My face is still set in shock but I manage to force out words. "How long were you…"
"I…" she pauses, "I followed you out here."
'She knows. Like this though. I didn't want her to find out like this.' My eyes go wide. I imagine they're the size of plates. I can now feel the throbbing sear of the cut along my knuckles. The cold blood flowing freely from my open wound. The constricting of my impossibly dry throat. First thing that comes to mind is to pull my hand away I guess because that's exactly what I do.
There are a few moments of complete and utter silence. All of a sudden she whirls around with such intensity that I have to take a step back. Her eyes shine with the promise of tears. With the eerie effect of the moon it makes her seem tortured. So dejected and tired.
"It's not your fault Rei." Her voice is steady and strong contradicting the look in her eyes.
My own voice betrays my indifferent mask. Breaking it bit by bit with an unusual shrill tone. "Yes it i-"
Mina cuts me off. Strong as ever. "No Rei its not. Don't take the blame for what happened. It's my fault. You warned me. I ignored it. I should've listened."
"Mina…" tears start their trek down her cheeks.
Subconsciously moving closer I pull her into a tight embrace. Inside I want to cry. Outside I let that mask rebuild. I know I have to stay strong. For us both. I run my unharmed hand through her hair as my shoulder becomes damp. I held her much like the other day almost a month ago as her body shook with sobs.
"Shhh…" Pushing her away slightly I look into her eyes. I wipe away a single tear with my thumb.
Mina stares right back at me. "I thought that if I tried hard enough to ignore it. I would go away and everything would be back to the way it was. I thought the hurting would stop."
The look of pure hurt in her eyes makes me want to break down right there. I wanted to cry for all I was worth. Which at this point didn't feel like much. I wanted to find the source of her pain and extinguish it. I know what the source is. It's me. I'd do anything to make her smile just a little.
"Mina… I- I'm sorry." My apology isn't worth shit and I know it because I can still see that pain. It's not going away. It's growing. Why do I keep making it worse?
"Rei-"
I couldn't stand the silent hurt anymore. "No Mina. I am sorry. For hurting you. For what happened at the party. For kissing you. For wanting to hold you. I'm sorry for everything that I've done to cause you pain. Everything except for loving you. I'll never be sorry for loving you. I love you Mina. And it kills me to see you this wa- mmf."
I was silenced by Mina's lips against my own. Her lips pressed roughly against mine. Soon her lips were massaging mine delicately. Waiting for a response. Before my brain could comprehend my lips began to move against hers. With arms slipping around my neck she pulled me closer. Flicking her tongue against my bottom lip she gained entrance to my mouth. Our bodies pressed against on another and I held her tighter still. I picked up the smell of roses and chocolate only Mina gave off. I savored the sweet strawberry taste of her lip-gloss. The warmth of her body on mine. The way she causes an arousing sting of pain on my bottom lip by nibbling lightly on it. Her tongue making me forget I even have lips.
I wanted her so badly. I want her. My hands slide slowly down through her silky blonde hair. I stop at her waist and proceed to slide my hands beneath her shirt. My fingers caress soft skin delicately. Hands continued their path over nicely toned abs and roamed further still.
Mina gasps. Her lips pull away from mine. Her breathing is hitched and her eyes wide in shock and excitement. My hand remains over her right breast. I can feel her chest heaving and the fast drumming of her heart.
The warmth on my hand faded. Mina ran to the nearest bush and started to puke her brains out. I ran to her side rubbing her back as she expelled the remnants of her last meal. Once done she wiped the fouls smelling vile from her lips. I helped her back towards my room and into the bathroom.
After bringing her a pair of pajamas I made sure she was all right. "Mina? Think you can get changed?"
She nodded and began to strip off her clothes. I stood watching for a while before I realized what I was doing and retreated back to my bedroom.
I flopped onto my bed exhausted. The soft mattress soothed my achingly tired bones. Bringing a hand to rest beneath my head I let my eyelids drift shut.
'She said it wasn't my fault. I cant help but feel that it was.'
My mind buzzed with unanswered questions.
'When we wake up. Where will we stand? What if she hadn't followed me earlier? Would things be better off if she didn't know how I felt? No. She needed to know. '
I can feel the slight dip of the mattress beside me under Mina's weight. I'm aware of the arm draped over my stomach and the hand stroking my cheek. Shortly after I drift off to sleep in Mina's arms.
Author's Note: God damn it. It's five in the morning and I supposedly have to wake up in two hours. I'm a fucking insomniac. Grr… I'm being irritable and that's really not a good thing. I'm ending it soon. Possibly in the next chapter. Don't expect anything graphic though. This is only rated PG-13. Longest chapter I have ever written. A whole 12 pages. Yep. Tired. Now. Sleep.