Again, I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. All your interest and comments are always appreciated.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter 10 . . .
Martha got an earful from her mother the day after she returned. Francine could not believe she had been home a whole day before letting her know she was home for a visit. Tish had been in the shower when their mother unexpectedly dropped by before work. Martha had to answer the door and was as stunned as the matriarch initially. She had planned to seek her mum out that evening but her mother was having none of that now. After she was appropriately shamed, Francine declared that they would have a family dinner the following night so that they could all catch up. Martha was not interested in an argument and her mother's rant and declaration had at least kept her from probing into Martha's real reasons for coming home. She simply nodded her agreement and promised to meet her for lunch later that day as well.
Once her mum and Tish were off to work, Martha took the time alone to think again about her situation. As she lounged on her sister's couch in her pjs, she was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the Doctor might have really did what he did out of fear for her well-being. She was so used to him either ignoring her or barely acknowledging her feelings that the idea of her safety garnering that kind of reaction was unreal. The method, as her sister agreed, was not the best but the reasoning behind it gave Martha more than a passing pause. Wasn't this what she'd always imagined? All those months on the TARDIS her first time out, all she wanted was for him to care . . . to show more than a fleeting regard for her. Now he had crossed that threshold, though not in the way she had envisioned, and she was left to figure out how to respond to his attempt.
Martha knew she could not condone his approach. To do so would be to make it seem an acceptable way to deal with her. She needed for there to boundaries or else risk falling back into old patterns and repeating mistakes of the past. Yet the more she thought about it, she felt like she could not fault his desire to protect her. He cared enough to risk her wrath and act in her best interest. And what had she done in return? She had thrown that concern back in his face and walked out. What happened to her grand speech about always being there, even when things got tough? Were they just words or was she willing to back them up, swallow her wounded pride and try to work things out? Didn't she owe that to him and herself?
Martha was finishing off her outfit for the family dinner. It was casual of course but casual by Francine Jones' estimation meant at the least business casual. No ripped jeans or sweats were allowed. So Martha decided on a simple navy wrap dress and mid- calf black boots. Her hair was pinned up and her makeup light. She'd just given herself the once over when she heard a knock at the door. A moment later she heard her sister call out, "Martha, you have a visitor."
Martha was briefly stumped by who it might be. After all she hadn't told anyone but her family she was home and she was about to go see them. She gave herself one more look in the mirror before heading out of her room. She stepped into the living area just in time to hear Tish laugh coyly. Martha's voice caught when she recognized the familiar frame before her sister.
"Doctor . . . what are you doing here?" she finally managed to get out.
He removed his gaze from her sister and placed it firmly on her. Tish turned and watched as the pair eyed each other for a long moment. The Doctor eventually broke the quiet, "You look . . . lovely."
Martha fought hard not blush under his obvious scrutiny.
"Thanks but you still didn't answer me. Why are you here?" she asked a bit more abruptly than she meant to.
He looked away from her gaze briefly, not really sure how to answer that question at the moment. She had asked for time to figure out how she felt about things and it had been only three days but after his talk with Jack he just felt like he needed to see and speak to her sooner rather than later. Tish, though, noticed the awkwardness overtaking the pair and attempted to mediate it.
She glanced knowingly at her sister before piping in, "I'm sure Martha just means she was surprised, right?"
Martha exhaled and realized her tone had been overly harsh. She nodded, "Yeah . . . I just wasn't expecting you."
The Doctor returned his gaze to the young doctor and spoke again, "Sorry about that. I was just hoping you might be up to a chat?"
"We were actually just on our way out to a family dinner," Martha offered half-heartedly.
He nodded, "Of course. I shouldn't have just popped in. We can talk later."
He then turned back to the door, preparing to go when Tish looked sternly at her sister and silently urged her to stop him. Martha tried to wave her off, not sure she was ready to deal with him yet. Tish, though, intervened once more, "I can cover for you for a bit, Martha. I'll tell mum you had to take care of something important."
The Doctor paused his departure and turned back to the pair. He could see the look of disease on Martha's face as well as the determination on her siblings. The last thing he wanted was to place his companion in another awkward position and so as he looked between the two women, he was about to beg off. Yet before he could even begin, the eldest Jones girl put the final nail in the discussion. She reached for her purse and moved past him and to the door herself.
She glanced first at the Doctor and then her sister and gave her a smile and wink, "I'll see you at dinner."
She then vanished before either could object.
Once Tish was gone, another lingering silence spread between the pair. Martha was fidgeting with the knot tied at her hip while the Doctor rocked on the balls of his feet. He finally broke the stalemate, "I really am sorry about interrupting your evening. We can do this later."
Martha realized, in her own pushy way, Tish was right to force her into clearing the air as soon as possible. The longer she lingered, the more chance she would talk herself out of facing it at all. So with a quiet sigh she shook her head, "No . . . I think now is the time."
He gave her small smile of relief which she returned. Then after another brief silence, the Doctor took the lead yet again, "Martha, what happened in Africa . . . you were right. I crossed a line I had no right to and I'm sorry for that. I never want you to feel you can't trust me."
Martha's smile grew a bit and she felt a wave of relief was over her when he offered his apology. She had been afraid he would try rationalizing his actions or belittling her hurt. His sincerity moved her and made her want to immediately respond but almost as if sensing her desire, he held up a hand to stop her and continued, "And I also need to apologize for not telling you the real reason why I did it."
He paused and soberly gazed at her as he offered, "I was scared. Plain and simple. I saw those men attempting to harm you and it frightened me. Seeing you so vulnerable brought back past memories of loss and made me do something unthinkable and for that I am also sorry."
Martha could see on his face and feel in his words his genuine regret and remorse. It was a poignant moment for her and she found herself wanting to be soothing. "Doctor. . ."
He though stopped her once more with his next statement. "But the thing I'm most sorry for is letting you walk out of the TARDIS again thinking that I did not recognize and appreciate all that you are and do. After everything you and I have been through, I know without a doubt you're more than capable of handling anything we face. Never doubt that."
Martha's eyes betrayed exactly how she was feeling. As they widened slightly at his multiple apologies, she was left momentarily speechless. It had been a rare occasion when he had ever apologized for his thoughtless behaviors in the past. He would either sweep it under the rug or try to justify his actions without admitting fault. But this time, when she needed to know that things were not the same as in the past, he had come through. He had humbly admitted that he messed up. It both caught her off guard and put her at ease. Humility was not something he was known for but that simple act showed her that he was growing and changing. And it was that knowledge that made her feel comfortable in showing her own growth.
"Thank you for saying that. I really needed to hear it." She paused at his slight smile and nod. Then with a deep sigh, she softly continued, "And. . . I'm sorry too."
His smile slowly melted into a confused stare, "For what?"
Martha gave a sad smile of her own as she answered, "Since I stepped foot back in the TARDIS, I have been waiting . . . waiting for the other shoe to drop. A part of me was still not convinced this time would be any different from the last. So I never completely relaxed into the situation. I'm sorry for not having more faith in you to genuinely make things different."
The Doctor smiled in spite of himself as quietly conferred, "Well, considering our previous relationship, I can understand why you might have doubts."
She tried and failed to return his levity, "Yeah, but I still came back under the guise of a clean slate while knowing all the while it wasn't really. The fact that it never occurred to me that you might have been scared about what had nearly happened to me says a lot about my state of mind at the time. My first thought was that you were disparaging my abilities. Now I can get how you can be so clever and so oblivious all at the same time."
The Time Lord moved closer to his companion and soothingly replied, "It looks like we both have some things we need to work on then."
Martha finally gave a small smile of her own, "I guess so."
His smile broadened into that familiar grin she loved so much as he held his arms open. She closed the remaining distance and allowed him to enfold her in a lingering hug. Both sighed and relaxed into the hold standing that way for quite a while before the Doctor softly inquired, "So does this mean you're ready to come back?"
He felt her inhale sharply and then slowly begin to pull back. He found her eyes. She looked calm but determined as she replied, "Not yet."
His face instantly fell and he was about to question her when Martha gave a reassuring smile and softly continued, "There is just more that needs to be said."
She then completely moved out of his hold and began to move further into the house. The Doctor watched in confusion until she paused upon reaching the kitchen entrance and with a motion of her head beckoned him to follow. The pair eventually walked out a side door and onto a cozy wooden deck area outside. Martha leaned against the railing and gazed up at the clear night sky and the moon that punctuated it.
The Doctor remained standing near the door for a few moments just observing her. In his mind he knew it was daft that he had allowed yet another human woman to cause him to reconsider his life of solitude. After Rose, he convinced himself that he could not afford to become so close to any of his companions again. Yet with Martha it seemed to catch him unawares. He tried aloofness, abruptness and even gruffness at times but she didn't waver and stood by him through some of the worst times of this life. She opened him again to all the wonder and possibilities still to be found and as irrational as he knew it was, he also found himself hoping she'd be with him for a good long time. The Doctor smiled at his thoughts and at the petite woman that stood just before him as he finally moved to join her. Once he settled at her side, Martha, with her eyes still firmly on the moon in the sky, began to speak again.
"You remember the first day we met?"
His smiled brightened, "Of course. Judoon, a Plasmavore and a round trip to the moon."
Martha quietly chuckled, "I think you're forgetting eccentric old Time Lords."
"Oi!" he began but when Martha glanced over at him with small smirk, he relented, "OK . . . and an eccentric, relatively older Time Lord."
Martha's smile brightened as she shook her head and returned her gaze back to the glowing orb in the sky, "And even with all the strangeness of that day, honestly, it was the last time I ever really felt like myself."
"Really?" he questioned.
She nodded, "Before that day I was Martha Jones med student. I had everything planned out and was so sure what my life would become. After meeting you, my whole outlook on the world and myself changed, in both good and bad ways. I gained such a greater perspective on life but I also feel like I lost, at least for a while, some of the things that made me who I was."
"Martha . . ." he returned.
She shook her head, "I'm not blaming you. It was more me doing things I always swore I wouldn't like fawning over some guy who barely knew I existed."
She heard him humph and quickly moved forward, "It was like that friend I mentioned to you the first time I left and even my sister on occasion. I was always the one telling them they deserved better and to get over it but until you're in that situation I guess it's hard to understand. The heart sometimes just wants what it wants, no matter how impossible it might seem."
The Doctor only sighed this time. He and Martha had more in common than either often was willing to admit. He could remember a time when he was so fixated on Rose, and ultimately that loss, that it bordered on obsession.
Martha finally placed her gaze on him as she thoughtfully continued, "But as time has gone by, I realized what I regretted the most from that time was not appreciating what I did have with you. You were my best friend. We saw and did so many amazing things yet all I could see at the time was what I couldn't have. Now I find myself wanting to return to that friendship."
That admission shocked the Doctor and he allowed his face to betray just that. Again Martha moved to answer his surprise, "I'm not saying I want to revisit everything from then. I could do without the indifference and tension but I also want whatever we might possibly have in the future to be based on something solid like our friendship."
Much to her surprise, the Doctor remained quiet. She felt like she was dominating the conversation, though she knew what she said needed to be said. Now, though, he stood at her side silent and it was beginning to unnerve her. He was rarely at loss for words but here they stood in the thickest silence she had ever had in his presence. Martha kept stealing glances at him as the moments seemed to drag on.
The Doctor, though, had many words but was trying to find the right ones for this moment. He could appreciate the irony that just as he takes a step forward, showing her a more vulnerable side, she wants to step back and reestablish something they had before. But what she said made all the sense in the world. What could be better than to have your best friend and the person you . . . the person you're closet to be one in the same? Building, whatever they were building, on something concrete such as friendship that had been so good at its best could only help their cause. So with the beginnings of that famous grin, he eventually turned to her and said, "You're brilliant, Martha Jones. Just brilliant."
A much relieved Martha joined him in the smile before easily looping her arm through his and gently resting her head on his shoulder. The pair stayed this way for a while before Martha sighed and reluctantly broke the moment, "I still have to get to that dinner. My mum'll have my head if I skip."
He leaned in a bit and placed a soft kiss on her head, "We can't have that. I'll come along as your alibi for being late."
She pulled away and looked up at him, "You don't have to."
"I know I don't have to." He paused and gave her brilliant smile and a wink, "So, shall go?"
She gave him another warm smile before nodding, "Let's go."