Welcome back, one and all. Did you like Stuffed Lockers? Did you want another original chapter? If you answered yes, then this is a treat for you. I call this mission, Shoot for the Stars.
Enjoy.
"Hey, Sock Head!" Eddy shouted as he kicked open their bedroom door. "Got something for ya!" Double D looked up from the room's work desk towards his friend, while Ed was putting the finishing touches on a miniature city he managed to build out of random items in the middle of the floor. After nodding his head in approval, he grabbed Baron o'Beefdip and began to topple the skyscraper of books.
"I must eat your concrete and stained glass windows!" Ed roared. As his friend continued to reenact his fantasies, Double D walked around the edge of the doomed city and approached Eddy.
"What could be so important that you had to violently open our door and shout, as you always do, to tell me?" Double D playfully asked. Eddy laughed sarcastically as he tossed a brown envelope up into the air. Double D extended his arms and fumbled the envelope before managing to get a grip on it.
"Dunno, but it's from Beatrice," Eddy remarked with a smile. "What do you think she sent? A lock of her hair? Her favorite pocket protector? A 10,000 word essay on why you two should go steady?" The list of ideas caused Eddy to burst out in laughter, catching Ed's attention and leaving Double D to examine the envelope.
"Feels heavier than any of those," he muttered. Shrugging, the smartest Ed opened the envelope and reached inside. As his friends watched, he pulled out a frame with a photograph of Beatrice inside. She had her hands on her hips and was leaning forwards, a shy smile on her face.
"'Call me whenever you want to study Anatomy together. Beatrice.'" Double D unknowingly read aloud. The Eds noticed that under her signature she had applied a lipstick kiss that caused Double D to blush and Eddy to grin.
"Oooohh," he mockingly said. "When's the wedding, Double Don Juan?"
"Joke all you like, Eddy," Double D said as he walked over to the work desk. "I must admit that this display of affection is quite flattering, although I'm unsure I can return her feelings at this moment." He pulled out a thumb tack and went towards a bare space on the wall. He hung up the picture with great care, while Ed turned to Eddy.
"I spy with my little eye material for a teenage melodrama series," he told his friend.
"Whatever you say, Monobrow," Eddy replied.
"Oh, this is a disaster!" a voice complained from outside the Eds' room. The tree boys turned to face the door.
"That sounded like trouble," Ed said.
"Should we get involved?" Double D asked.
"No, we shouldn't," Eddy muttered. "So let's go and check it out." Eddy walked back to the door, cracked it open, and peeked his head out. Double D, following his friend's lead, knelt down and looked out into the hallway.
"Follow the leader," Ed said simply, shrugging his shoulders. He attempted to look over his friends, but he couldn't get a good look. After taking a moment to think up a plan, Ed took on a determined look as well as a few steps back. With a running start, he jumped up onto Eddy's back and looked outside.
"Oh...crap," Eddy muttered. He felt his knees buckle and give, sending himself and Ed crashing down upon Double D. The echoing boom alerted the nerd that was pacing up and down the hallway towards the dogpile. He wore a light green astronomy club vest like the other nerds, half-moon glasses, and a brown leather wristwatch.
"Who are you?" the nerd asked the Eds. Ed, being the one on top, sat up and reached a hand towards the new face.
"My name is Ed!" he said cheerfully. Before he could give a handshake, he felt the combined effort of his friends push him off and back onto the floor.
"This gag's starting to get old," Eddy muttered as he rose to his feet.
"Something tells me that it would be humorous from a spectator's perspective," Double D sighed as he stood up. The Eds looked towards their spectator, who was looking back at them nervously.
"What are you looking at?" Eddy asked.
"I'm not sure," the nerd replied. "You still haven't told me who you are."
"Well, you've already met Ed," Double D explained, gesturing towards a waving Ed. "My name is Eddward, more commonly referred to as Double D. And our less-than-enthused friend is Eddy."
"Maybe you've heard of us," Eddy said smugly.
"I can't say that I have," the nerd replied. "But my name is Earnest Jones; president of the Astronomy Club."
"Astronomy Club?" Eddy repeated. "Oh, you mean the guys that got stuffed in their lockers, need bodyguards in the junkyard, and are lower than us on the school's social ladder?" After Eddy finished his list, Earnest began to recount how his friends had told him about three new kids that had been protecting them from the bullies.
"You three are the Eds?" Earnest asked.
"The League of Super Duper Eds," Ed corrected.
"Perhaps you could assist me in a dilemma that has befallen my allies and myself?" the nerd continued, ignoring Ed.
"You hear that, boys?" Eddy asked. "Five minutes ago, he didn't know who we are. Now he's singing a different tune."
"Please, hear me out!" Earnest pleaded. "Wheatley's Comet is charted to pass directly over Bullworth Academy tonight!"
"Isn't that comet on an orbital path that puts it in Earth's view only once every 64 years?" Double D asked.
"Exactly," Earnest confirmed.
"Big deal," Eddy said. "Do you have a problem pointing the telescope at the sky or something?"
"Worse," the nerd said. "The astronomy building is being refurbished and, in turn, has put the main telescope out of commission! My colleagues and I have scouted the entire school grounds, and the only location that will suffice is outside our dormitory."
"So, you're worried about how you're going to get a little fresh air," Eddy assumed.
"No, I am worried that the bullies will make good on repeating last year's attack," Earnest explained. "During a meteor shower we watched from the football field, they destroyed our telescope with bricks, firecrackers, and eggs."
"How deplorable!" Double D said.
"I know!" Ed added. "They brought eggs but no bacon? How silly of them." His friends and the nerd stared back at him is disbelief.
"Anyway...seeing as how you help those in need..." Earnest began to say, only to be waved off by Eddy.
"Guess they didn't tell you everything about us," he said. "'Cause we ain't big on free service, and we don't come cheap."
"I can pay!" Earnest exclaimed, cutting off Double D before he could chastise his friend. Eddy had already heard the magic words, however, and started to shake the nerd's hand.
"Congratulations on hiring the League of Super Duper Eds," Eddy said cheerfully. "You'll be able to watch that hunk of space rock like you never left your parents' basement!"
"Excellent, I suppose," Earnest said nervously. "I'll retrieve my fellow members and we'll set up the telescope. Meet us outside in an hour." Double D and Eddy nodded, while Ed gave the nerd a stern salute. The Eds watched as their employer walked out of the dorm.
"Ok, Double D," Eddy said. "We need a plan to protect the telescope."
"Oh!" Ed exclaimed, raising his hand and waving it in the air. "I have a plan!" Double D and Eddy turned to their friend and stared at him in surprise.
"Isn't that adorable?" Eddy mockingly cooed. "Our little Lumpy's growing up and making plans."
"Eddy, we shouldn't mock Ed," Double D said. "Let's hear what he has to say." The boys turned to their friend and waited for his proposition.
"Ok, here's what we do," Ed said. "When we see the bad guys...we run after them and defeat them in hand-to-hand combat like we're in a martial arts movie!" He smiled wide, waiting for his friends to commend him on his well thought plan. However, he was met with their confused stares.
"Well...that was indeed a plan..." Double D said.
"Yeah, a bad one," Eddy muttered.
"What do you mean?" Ed asked.
"Ed, I believe that we can safely assume that the bullies will utilize ranged weaponry in their assault on the telescope, much like they did before," Double D explained. "Plus, we cannot know how their strong their attack force will be." Ed stared back at his friend, then turned to Eddy as if to silently say he had no idea what was said.
"They'd hit us with bricks and firecrackers and we don't know if Russell will be with them," Eddy explained.
"Thank you for the translation, Eddy," Double D said. "While I appreciate the fact that you came up with a plan on your own, I believe that a plan that keeps the bullies at a distance will be more effective." As Double D finished his suggestion, Ed became visibly upset.
"But...all I can do is run after bad guys and defeat them in hand-to-hand combat like I'm in a martial arts movie," he said sadly. Double D looked back at Eddy, both showing concern over Ed and how he had imposed limitations on himself.
"Geez, Monobrow," Eddy said, rubbing the back of his head. "Don't be so tough on yourself."
"Yes, Ed," Double D added. "You have other skills beyond close quarters combat. For example, your skill with handling firecrackers is beyond compare. In fact, I'll be sure to make some for our mission. Does that sound good to you?" Ed shrugged in response and walked back into their room.
"What's gotten into him?" Eddy asked.
"I'm not sure," Double D replied. "But I'm sure that we'll help him soon enough."
The Eds walked out of the dorm and towards the front lot, noticing that the sky was littered with stars. Ed had a few firecrackers and his lighter in his pocket, but not his usual cheerful demeanor. Eddy was carrying a few El Mondo 2.0's in his arms, doing his best not to drop one and render the area inhabitable. Double D led his friends towards an expensive looking telescope that was being calibrated by Earnest, Bucky, and Algernon.
"Seven is the best!" Bucky exclaimed.
"Not a chance!" Algernon shot back. "Eight is exponentially better than seven."
"In what universe is eight better than seven?" Bucky asked. "The story from seven alone buries eight."
"Eight's magic system was revolutionary," Algernon protested. "Magic has never been utilized so efficiently."
"Would you two please stop arguing and get back to the set up?" Earnest said as he looked up at his fellow club members. "Besides...we all know ten's battle system makes it the best." The three began to further build up their argument, leaving the Eds standing to the side with no idea what was going on.
"Excuse me," Double D said. "But what is going on?" The nerds ceased their bickering and turned around.
"Our apologies," Earnest said. "We were arguing about which game in the series was better between seven, eight, and ten."
"The answer is D!" Ed shouted.
"What are you talking about, Lummox?" Eddy asked.
"D is nine," Ed explained. "It managed to balance the modernization that the series was going towards while holding true to what had made it so revolutionary in the beginning. Plus, gameplay was easy to grasp while battles still provided a challenge to the player. Not to mention, the story gave realistic characters with compelling viewpoints to real life issues, like life and death." Double D, Eddy, and the nerds stared at Ed, who just scratched his head as if he didn't say anything special.
"Even though I have no idea what is being debated, that was quite an argument," Double D said.
"What?" Ed asked.
"You three are lucky he's got the attention span of buttered toast," Eddy said to the nerds. "Otherwise, you'd miss the comet trying to beat that."
"Be that as it may," Earnest said. "There's still a job to be done. I hope that you three are prepared for anything."
"Indeed," Double D said. "Eddy will take cover behind the right side of the entrance and throw stink bombs to stun the bullies. Ed, hiding behind the left side, will use the firecrackers to drive crowds of bullies away and hopefully scaring the rest into abandoning the attempts. I will stand in front of the telescope and use my slingshot to take out anyone who gets to close." As Double D finished debriefing the nerds, he pulled out his wooden slingshot and readied it while his friends took their positions.
"Wait," Earnest said. "Is that what you plan on using?" Double D looked back at his slingshot, then towards Earnest.
"Of course," Double D said.
"That archaic piece of tinder is obsolete, my friend," Earnest said with a smile as he walked towards a duffel bag he brought with him. "I'm surprised that you've managed to get anywhere using that. You need something more along the lines like this." He began to rummage through the bag's contents and pulled out a new slingshot that put Double D's to shame.
The new slingshot had a titanium bar that attached to a plastic handle with a grip. There was a wrist support that could provide the user with extra stability while firing. What really stood out on the weapon, however, was the addition of a scope on the left side of the slingshot. Before Double D could ask about it, Earnest handed the weapon over to the sock-headed Ed.
"Welcome to the future," Earnest smirked. Double D drew back the elastic and released, taking a mental note on how it took less effort to prepare a full force shot. He looked through the scope and saw that it had a two-power magnifying factor.
"You do a good job tonight, and I'll include that with your reward," Earnest said.
"Your generosity is most appreciated," Double D replied.
"HEY, LOVEBIRDS!" Eddy shouted. "We got company!" Double D looked forwards to find six bullies standing at the other end of the pathway. The Eds breathed a collective sigh of relief when they noticed that Russell was nowhere to be found.
"Well, well, well," Troy shouted. "Guess you nerds learned something from the last time. But we ain't gonna let the Eds get in the way of our fun." Double D looked towards Ed and nodded, prompting him to light a firecracker and throw it at Troy's feet. The resulting explosion caused him, along with his friends, to jump back.
"We won't allow you to interfere with a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Double D shouted.
"We'll make you eat those words, loser!" Trent shouted. The Eds watched as the bullies ducked for cover behind the other entryway. Double D turned towards the nerds and pointed towards the telescope.
"From what I read, Wheatley's Comet isn't due to pass over the school for another twenty minutes," Double D said quickly. "Ed, Eddy, and I will do our best to drive them off before then, but be ready in case we can't." Earnest and his friends nodded and began to position the telescope. As Double D turned back around, he saw Ethan running towards the telescope. Without any time to take aim, he loaded his slingshot and sent the pebble flying towards the target, hoping for a pacifying connection. Fortunately for him, he managed to hit Ethan in the shoulder, causing the bully to drop his brick and clutch his arm. Before Double D could ready his slingshot, Ethan ran back to cover. As he left, Wade and Davis took his place and began to charge.
"Eddy!" Double D called out. This prompted the shortest Ed to grab an El Mondo 2.0 and toss it towards the rushing bullies. The glass beaker broke over the chest of Wade, causing the contents to splash over him and Davis.
"Oh, God!" Wade yelled. "It tastes like..." He was cut off by his own retching. Eventually, he couldn't take it and crawled over to the grass and began to vomit. Davis, on the other hand, managed to keep his body from completely giving up. Eyes watering, he slowly made his way towards the telescope, egg in hand. While he could see his target, he failed to see Double D lining up his shot. He sent the pebble on a path towards the bully's forehead, smirking as his target fell to the ground.
"They got stink bombs!" Tom shouted.
"Who cares?" Trent shouted back. "Hold your breath when you run!"
"Great," Eddy groaned. "They're learning, Sock Head!" While Double D began to change his plan, he watched as the remaining forces gathered together and ready their weapons. They stood defiantly, as if to taunt the Eds before making their final charge.
"Ed!" Double D shouted. "Get another firecracker ready!" Ed nodded and pulled another firecracker out of his pocket. As he lit the fuse, Troy had stepped forward to lead his allies.
"GET 'EM!" the bully shouted, prompting his friends to follow him in a full run. Ed had let the firework fly, it's trajectory causing it to land behind Troy and in front of Trent, Tom, and Ethan. The burst of yellow light and bang sent the bullies flying onto their backs, clutching their ringing ears. Troy was unfazed and continued to dash in Double D's direction, his brick ready to collide with the sock-headed Ed. Double D took aim and sent a shot, only to have it fly past Troy's head. A look of terror overtook his face as Troy took on an evil grin and continued to run.
"Ed!" Double D shouted. "Help me!" Hearing those words, Ed snapped into a trance and stuck his arm out into the path of Troy. The bully made contact and was sent to the ground by the clothesline. Ed stood over his friend and roared defiantly to the stars, raising his fists upwards.
"ULTIMATE POWER!" he cried out. He looked down to his fallen opponent and grabbed him by his shirt collar. Ed quickly pulled Troy to his feet, only to grab the bully by his belt with his free hand and lift him up over his head. He waited for the other bullies to get to their feet, growling at their looks of fear. He then threw Troy at them while his friends watched in awe as they were sent back down.
"You cannot strike down my spirit!" Ed growled. "But you're welcome to try again." The taunting caused the bullies to look at each other nervously. The group colectively decided to flee, fearing further angering the pumped up Ed. As the bullies ran away, Ed pumped his fists and snarled. As he calmed down, Double D and Eddy approached their friend.
"Way to go, Ultimate Ed," Eddy said, slapping his friend on the back.
"Indeed," Double D added. "You really showed them what for." Ed turned to face his friends, smiling wide and jumping for joy.
"Did you see that?" he asked. "Way cool!"
"It was way cool," Double D said with a smile. "Thank you, Ed."
"You're welcome, citizen!" Ed said with a salute. He walked away from his friends to reenact his battle, while Eddy leaned in towards Double D.
"You never miss a shot, Sock Head," he said. "What gives?"
"I suppose I was unlucky," Double D shrugged. "Thankfully, Ed was there to save the day." The boys watched as their friend began to punch and kick at imaginary enemies.
"Whatever you say, Double D," Eddy chuckled.
"Look!" Algie shouted, pointing towards the school. The Eds looked up and saw a brilliant blue glow flying across the sky. The nerds immediately began to look through their telescope, taking notes on the comet as it passed by.
"Shooting star, guys!" Ed exclaimed. "Make a wish!"
"You gotta love him," Eddy said. The three boys stared up as Wheatley's Comet hung in the sky for a few seconds longer, watching as it disappeared into the cosmos.
"You know, even from this distance, I could safely theorize that Wheatley's Comet is no larger than a basketball," Double D said. "Quite unusual for a comet to be so brilliant and so small at the same time."
"Amazing how you managed to guess correctly without the use of a telescope, Eddward," Earnest said, catching the Eds' attentions. "Have you ever considered joining the Astronomy Club? I'm sure we can find a sweater vest for you to wear by tomorrow." Eddy, fearing for the well being of his friend's reputation, immediately grabbed Double D and Ed and began to push them towards the dormitory doors.
"Thanks for the offer, Space Ace," Eddy said quickly. "Tell you what. Sock Head'll take you up on your offer when you manage to kiss a real girl!"
"That seems to be an impossible feat at this moment," Earnest called out as Eddy pushed his friends inside the dormitory.
"Exactly, Einstein," Eddy smirked, slamming the door behind him as he finished his remark.
Sometimes you gotta be rude in order to protect the ones you care about. So, what did you think of that one? Did you manage to pick up on my video game references? Can't wait for the Halloween chapter to get up? Let me know in a review.
Also...quick comment...I like the thought of Gary being the villain. Just saying, it makes sense if he's the one at the end of the level waiting for the Eds.
Peace.