Title: Breaking Stasis

Disclaimer: Joss is boss. Some dialogue taken directly from the pilot again, you'll know it when you see it.

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your continued support and an extra thank you to the Dread One for reading this over. Please let me know what you think, I definitely take everyone's thoughts into consideration when writing!

River awoke the next morning temporarily terrified at the sight of another foreign room, another strange bed. Sitting up instantly, for a brief moment she couldn't remember how she'd come to be there until her brain begrudgingly admitted its memories. Her recollections were foggy and distorted, but she knew that she'd had another fit of madness. Her raw throat and swollen eyes were a testament in themselves.

A man clothed in gray had been in this dorm earlier; his heartfelt benevolence, shaded with penance, lingered in the air. He had been a wolf dressed as a lamb, though River couldn't quite remember how she knew this. He had tried to soothe her, not knowing that her mind could never be at peace when all sense had abandoned her.

Grimly began to piece together any other memories that she could, wondering if this was how one felt after over imbibing in spirits. One more slowly floated to the surface from within the well of her mind. She had asked for Jayne last night after the gray man had appeared. She had asked for him and he hadn't come.

With a groan she sank back into the bed, pulling up the bedclothes. She could feel her cheeks burning with shame and she knew without looking that they had turned a bright red. Embarrassment flooded through her system, filling every vein, artery, and capillary until she felt she would burst with mortification. She had known that Jayne felt conflicting emotions towards her; every time she focused on his thoughts it was as if two films were being projected on the same screen, fighting for dominance.

He was going to take her to Boros. She had told him that she didn't want to go and he had completely disregarded her. Even when his feelings towards her had softened they were still chaotic and undefined. In spite of this she had allowed herself to rely on him, to take comfort in his presence. She was truly an imbecile to be pacified by a roiling tempest.

Now would she give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground, long heath, brown furze, any thing. The wills above be done! but she would fain die a dry death.

She could hear doors opening and sliding shut as the others in the dorms woke and left their rooms. As much as she wanted to remain hidden in her sanctuary, she couldn't allow herself to do so. On a practical level she could tell that her sluggishness was in part due to low blood sugar levels and severe dehydration. Forgoing sleep for tears would do that to a body.

Lethargically she got to her feet, her body immediately protesting that she rectify her self-imposed sleep deprivation. Shaking it off as best she could, she moved slowly to the door and stepped into the hallway.

The mercenary was just leaving his room and she sent him a furious glare, all shame and aggravation at her own behavior channeled into a single look. For an instant he was speechless and River almost took a step backwards as a surge of guilt flooded the deck. But even Brutus had not kept such a firm rein on his feelings and within a couple of moments they were brought to heel.

"What crawled up your pigu and died? Finally take a break from all that loony shit and decide to join the rest of us?" he snarled at her, returning glare for glare.

"No need for recriminations. Rest assured you have no culpability, the onus lies with me to command my own conduct." Hollow words, but true. Even if that ability constantly managed to slip from her fingertips it was still hers and no one else's. Not the Academy's, not the man's, hers alone. She could only pray that someday she would have the strength to do so.

"Right," Jayne answered a little uncertainly. She was ticked off, he could tell that much, but she seemed just as mad at herself as she was with him. Feeling like a yellowbelly he turned away from her and headed to breakfast. A more courageous man would have stayed and tried to hash it out with her, but right now he was just fine with taking the coward's way out.

Watching him walk away, River could not fight the desolation that filled her. He had saved her from the blue hands, he had protected her on that foreign planet, and now he would not speak more than a handful of gruff words to her. The umbilicals from the hands were gone, but in their place stretched another line as light and fragile as a spider web. She tried to break the tie with her brain, sternly admonishing herself that such attachments were inappropriate and detrimental, but was unsurprised when it didn't budge. One of the smartest minds in the universe and she couldn't even sever her own bonds.

Chastising herself for dwelling on uncomfortable realities, she followed in Jayne's steps towards the galley. "Renci de Fozu, gei wo liliang."

After an incredibly awkward morning in which River had said maybe two words and everyone had given him the evil eye as a result, Jayne stood with Mal in front of a bound and gagged Dobson. He shot the lawman a malicious grin, which only broadened at the Fed's obvious uneasiness.

Mal leaned forward and yanked off the duct tape covering Dobson's mouth. Ignoring the lawman's grunt of pain, Mal launched into his speech fiercely. "I'm in a tricky position, I guess you know. Got me a boatload of terribly strange folk making my life a little more interesting than I generally like, chief among them an Alliance mole. Likes to shoot at girls when he's nervous. Now I got to know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So… I've given your pal Jayne here the job of finding out."

Pulling out his Bowie, or what he affectionately referred to as his "big ass knife", from the sheath at his hip, Jayne waved it in the air idly. "He was non-specific as to how. But considerin' as we got off on the right foot I'm thinkin' we pick up our conversation where we left off."

Drawing Jayne aside to the doorway, Mal lowered his voice. "Now you only gotta scare him. I do not, I say do not want a repeat of your little disagreement down in the cargo bay."

"Pain is scary!"

"Just do it right."

Catching Mal's arm, Jayne stopped him from leaving. "You honestly leavin' me with him? You know as well as I that I aim to see he gets his."

Mal gave him a hard look. "Consider this a dry run. I ain't havin' you on the Whitefall job if you can't stop playin' the loose cannon for two gorram minutes."

With that the captain left the dorm, shutting the door firmly behind him before leaning back on the wall directly beside it. He'd meant what he said about this being a test for his old merc; much as he needed an extra gun with Patience, he and Zoe'd be humped either way if Jayne had really decided to go rogue. Serenity hadn't seen much good fortune, seemed wherever lady luck was travelling these days she was steering clear of Mal. Way things had been going lately he was really, really, hoping no one was cleaning the Fed's brain off the bulkhead in about five minutes.

Alone with Dobson, Jayne leisurely took a seat in front of the lawman.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" Dobson said as sharply as he could.

"Gee, I never been in trouble with the law before…" Underneath his bravado he knew the Fed was right, but no way in hell he was giving him the satisfaction of admitting as much.

"Not like this you haven't. You think this is just like a smuggling rap? That girl you travel with—"

A look of mock disgust on his face, Jayne asked sarcastically, "You mean this chou maniao of a mess ain't really about lil' ole me?"

"That girl is a precious commodity. They'll come after her. Long after you bury me they'll be coming."

"Oh, I dunno. Think they might get here first, on account of how I reckon it's gonna take a mighty long time to kill you." He pretended to inspect the blade of his knife, making sure it was real close up in Dobson's face. Little beads of sweat started to form along the lawman's brow. "Now Dobson – what's your first name?"

With some reluctance he bit out, "Laurence."

"Laurence. No, before we get to that I'm gonna cut on you 'til you tell me how much they know." He gave the Fed a sharp slap on the leg with the flat of his blade, relishing as he jumped backwards.

"They know everything! They know every name, every record – they know how many nosehairs you've got," Dobson blurted out, eyes wide in panic.

Damn it. Laurence's eyes said more than his words ever could; there was no confidence in his gaze, no knowledge that reinforcements would soon rescue him. Lawman was shit out of luck and knew it to boot.

Genuinely disappointed, Jayne rose to his feet. "Ah, see – they don't know a damn thing. It's all over your face, I ain't even… Was gonna get me an ear too. 'Course, with no one ever gonna find your body guess it wouldn't matter much if it was all in little bits and pieces." He smirked down at the bound man, not sure whether or not he was bluffing. In his indecision he started pacing back and forth in the confined space. Cao but he was real sore with Mal right about now. Weren't for the cap'n Dobson would've been down a couple of fingers at the very least, and that would've been just the warm up. Jayne weighed the options in his mind, wondering if it was worth getting thrown off the boat on Whitefall if he just ended the bastard right here and now.

"Okay, I can see you're not an idiot. Let me put this to you another way. You can put a bullet in me, sure, but that bounty on your head isn't going anywhere. You cooperate with me, help me get out of this and make sure that girl is taken into custody, and I promise you that I can get your own warrant dropped. No one wants you anyway, they just want the girl. Once they have her no one will ever come looking for you."

That stopped Jayne dead in his tracks.

The surprise must have shown on his face because Dobson continued on more boldly. "What's more, I can let the Alliance know all about how you were responsible for making sure the girl was brought in. Her bounty will be all yours."

Even though he knew better, the notion of all that cashy money gave Jayne pause. He'd never seen so many zeroes before as on crazy's warrant. Hell, with that platinum he could practically buy all of Asgard he ever decided to go back home. Wouldn't have to take no more shitty jobs, wouldn't be in the line of fire no more. He thought back to the last time he'd been shot and how he'd had to dig out the bullet with his fingers, wincing at the memory. Have to be a blind fool not to be entertained by the idea.

Suddenly another memory came viciously to the forefront of his mind. The Fed what was currently promising him all the ruttin' moons in the 'verse with the muzzle of his gun shoved against crazy's temple, all the bruises he'd given her. The weapon going off, bullet flying 'round the cargo bay. The crunch of Dobson's nose underneath Jayne's fist and how euphoric that had felt.

If he'd had a gun in his hands he would've shot the lawman dead where he sat.

The couple of steps he was forced to take to stand in front of Dobson cooled his temper just enough so that he regained some of his calm. "Thought you said I wasn't an idiot? Your promises ain't worth a bucket of piss. Talk is cheap, ain't nothin' more real than the satisfaction of puttin' a bullet through your fuckin' skull."

The knife was back in his hand in an instant. Yeah, Mal had told him not to touch the Fed and Jayne weren't in no hurry to have the cap'n on his bad side, especially with how he'd saved his ass more than once. But sometimes Mal didn't have the brains God gave a goat. This Fed knew them and he'd never stop searchin' for them after this, never stop huntin' Jayne and the girl. Weren't no way around it, Jayne had to end him. Fact that he was gonna enjoy every last second of it was just a bonus.

Fortunately for Dobson, Mal chose that moment to step back into the dorm and hustle Jayne on out. Man's timing was a little too good and Jayne had a strong suspicion Mal had been lingering outside in case that very situation had played out. Damn. Hopefully he hadn't riled the cap'n too much.

It wasn't until Jayne stood alone, a flimsy door in between him and that hundan, when he fully realized what he'd turned down. A pardon and a fortune, both passed over like they were no more than a couple of coppers. Sure, odds were that he'd be pinched anyways; a warrant like that didn't mean any sort of easy out. But he hadn't even thought on that, just that he'd rather see that man's blood runnin' through his hands again than any amount of coin.

He rubbed a hand across his face, mussing his hair and shaking his head vigorously to clear out his dumbass thoughts. At this rate he'd turn feng le as crazy before long.

The next day Jayne sat at the table in the galley, monopolizing its surface while he slowly and thoroughly cleaned each of his guns. They were laid out all neat and tidy by size; he liked to take care of his girls in order since the larger ones took longer to clean. They didn't even need cleaning, not really, but he liked to do it. Kept his hands, and more importantly his mind, busy as he was absorbed in the familiar routine. He'd done it so many times that he fell into a natural rhythm, his fingers assembling and disassembling each weapon with the ease of long practice.

Saving Vera for last he took his time, giving her the attention she deserved. Saved his worthless hide so many times least he could do was show her some appreciation. Finally content he placed her on the table, unable to suppress the satisfied grunt of seeing them all bright and shiny.

"This is the captain," Mal's voice sounded over the comm. Jayne's heart sank to his boots; wasn't quite the blare of the klaxons but it was damn close enough.

"We're passing another ship. Looks to be Reavers. From the size, probably a raiding party."

Fuck. Only thing worse than the Alliance. Jayne prided himself on being one tough son of a bitch, but even he had no qualms with admitting he was scared shitless. Fear ran through his blood, almost paralyzing in its icy grip. Tiansha de emo. He picked Vera back up carefully, cradling her in his arms.

"Could be they're headed somewhere particular, could be they've already hit someone and they're full up. So everyone stay calm."

Calm! What a retarded thing to say at a time like this. Calm his muscular buttocks.

Where had that girl gotten herself to? She had ruttin' perfect timing if she had decided to go off her rocker and hide again. As if she was reading his gorram mind she ran into the galley just then, trembling like a leaf. She climbed into the seat next to him, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"We try to run, they'll have to chase us. It's their way. We're holding course. We should be passing 'em in a minute, so we'll see what they do."

River had been drawn to Jayne as soon as she sensed a foreign presence sailing by through space. She was still ashamed that he had seen her fall apart so completely and so devastatingly, hating herself that she was so weak as to crumble at the slightest touch. Even as the animalistic rage had drawn closer and closer her bruised ego had not allowed her to go to him. She had fought the wrath as best she could, trying to keep her sense intact by sheer force of will. But the fury was so terrible that it was almost maddening, overwhelming all other possible sentiment.

Then another emotion had brushed her wounded psyche; had it not concerned her directly she doubted she would have been able to discern it among the bile that threatened her. Jayne was worried for her, unconsciously anxious for her safety. It was enough to shatter her petrification. She had found him without thought and even just being in his presence had eased her mind and allowed her to cling to lucidity.

"Zoe, you come on up to the bridge."

Seeing the girl next to him brought him a measure of peace, though he didn't care to dwell on why that was so. Was fightin' to keep her cool, he could tell, but she was doin' a damn fine job of it. Genius like her had to know what Reavers were, couldn't help but respect that she weren't actin' the hysterical female.

He gave her a long, measured look that she returned evenly. The horror radiating from Jayne was so powerful that it was almost tangible in its intensity, but against all logic she found it heartening, reassuring. Even though he was scared, more scared than she was, he was ready to fight. His resolve shined through his fear like a beacon through the darkness and she knew without question that he would hold no quarter, never make a craven move. He didn't think that made him brave, but to River that proved his courage. It gave her hope to know that she was not the only one to fight a demon this day.

Zoe strode through the galley, walking so fast that she was almost running but still completely composed. Seeing the two of them seated at the table she spared a moment to meet Jayne's gaze. "We get boarded…" Her eyes strayed over to River.

He nodded harshly, answering her unspoken question. "I know what I gotta do."

Before she headed up to the foredeck he caught an appraising look in her eyes. Whatever test she'd just given him, he hoped he'd passed.

If those Reavers got in he wouldn't be able to hold 'em for long. He fully intended to take as many of those motherfuckers down with him as he could, spend every last bullet in his guns before letting them cross the threshold.

Every bullet save for two. One for his brain and one for the girl's.

Reavers weren't men. Hell, they were worse than beasts. The thought of them gettin' their mitts on crazy, the things they'd do to her… He tightened his grip on Vera. He'd kill her himself before it came to that and be damn proud.

He kept worryin' she was 'bout to fly off the handle, but she did real good. Kept starin' at him which was always a bit creepifyin', but he guessed he was kinda used to it. Supposed that shoulda bothered him that he didn't care no more, but when certain death and dismemberment came a knockin' it tended to give him a certain sense of perspective.

They just sat there for what felt like hours, but must've only been a couple of seconds. Jayne was thinking where the best place on the ship was to make a last stand, settling on the cockpit since it had a good long bottleneck with the foredeck. River could not help but feel awe at the unadulterated brutality that was passing them by at an achingly slow pace. She had thought never to find a mind more corrupted than the blue hands; she had been wrong.

"They're holding course. We're clear, people."

All the air in Jayne's lungs rushed out in an involuntary gasp and he felt so relieved that he was almost nauseous. Noticing his hands were shaking a little and detesting himself for it, he placed Vera down again as gently as he could before he dropped her. "That was a fuckin' close shave." Weren't a straight razor neither, felt like a gorram machete.

She nodded silently, not trusting herself while the other vessel was still so near. Staying curled up in her chair, she watched as he slowly got to his feet and started to take his guns from the table.

"Gettin' too damn crowded out here," he muttered and she wished futilely that he was not also referring to her presence aboard Serenity.

"Too damn crowded."

pigu: ass

Renci de Fozu, gei wo liliang: Merciful Buddha, give me strength

chou maniao: stinking horse urine

cao: fuck

hundan: bastard

feng le: crazy

tiansha de emo: goddamn fiends

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