(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Couple of f-bombs in this chapter)
Chapter 10: The Shot Heard 'Round the World
Castle Mypos: Monarch's bedroom
"Now where are you hiding, Bartok? So you're hiding from me like a little lily pad-livered coward? I thought the almighty Bartok was all-powerful? SHOW YOURSELF!" Balki looked through the thoroughly trashed bedroom.
"MMMMFFFF!" he heard from under the bed.
He looked over to see a pair of feet under the bed and he pulled them out to reveal a bound and gagged Meredith, and instantly removed the gag from her mouth.
"Mister Bartokomous..." she said.
"Call me Balki..."
"Balki, it's you. You're ok! Oh God, it's a trap, Balki." her eyes widened and then she said,"MOVE! SNIPER RIFLE!"
There was a gunshot that missed him by a mile, then he turned around to see Bartok with a sniper rifle with a laser scope on it.
"You meddling little b..." Bartok started to say.
"BARTOK!" Balki pointed his kuzotski at his neck.
"I bet if an atomic bomb hit this God-forsaken island, only the cockroaches and you would survive."
"It ends here, Bartok. Cypriot and UN forces are outside. The people of the islands are liberated, and they are fighting your troops as we speak. Step down."
Bartok looked at Balki and began laughing psychotically.
"Step down? You don't get it do you, Balki? I OWN this floating dump! When my elite soldiers wipe out these pathetic troops, the WORLD will take notice that I, Bartok Almighty, am the true ruler of these floating piles of sheep sh..."
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH, stikibabaki!" Balki pressed the point of the kuzotski to Bartok's throat.
"Oh, that's real mature. You called me a sheep shit-eater." he laughed.
"Bakastibiki!" Balki spat in Myposian and Bartok's eyes widened.
"Maybe the little sheep fucker isn't so immature after all, considering you just told me to "go fuck myself"! I'll just have to..." he unsheated his gold kuzotski,"...neuter you..."
"Meredith, go and find Robbie. He's with the rest of the family out there. HURRY!"
With those words, Meredith ran out of the room, and Bartok and Balki stood in front of each other, their kuzotski at the other's throat, and Bartok said,"If it's a fencing duel you want, then I'll be happy to defeat you and gut you like the dog you are."
Immediately, their kuzotskis clashed and Bartok and Balki began their attempts to gain the advantage over the other.
As Meredith ran down the hall, the sounds of clashing steel, punches being landed, and gunfire echoed through the grand halls of Mypos Palace.
"Lord, I hope Balki's gonna be ok." she said, rounding the corner, and then seeing a huge fight going on.
She then noticed a familiar man with light brown hair in a black tee shirt and jeans fighting off a man in a black uniform wielding a bowie knife.
"ROBBIE! she cried out, running down the hall to him.
With one swift jab to the temple, Robbie knocked out the soldier and said,"Meredith?"
She immediately ran into his arms and said,"Oh my God, I'm so glad to see you, Robbie!"
"I'm so glad you're alive, Meredith." he said, embracing her.
"I love you so much, Robespierre Bartokomous."
"I love you, too, Meredith Metaxas." with those words, their lips met in a longing, needy kiss that made them feel as if they'd suffocate without the other.
"Oh God!" Li said, rolling her eyes,"Get a room, you two...Meredith? GUYS, MEREDITH'S BACK AND SHE'S OK!"
The Bartokomouses and Appletons went over to Meredith and Robbie and Tucker said,"Where's Balki?"
"In a duel with Bartok. Let's let the professionals fight this fight." Meredith led the others down to where Balki was in a kuzotski duel with Bartok.
Just as everyone came into Bartok's bedroom, they were met by a flying body, which fell out of the room, it was Bartok.
"How dare you, a pathetic, backwoods little sheep licker, strike me, the closest a human male can be to becoming God!" he yelled as he kipped up and charged at Balki, his kuzotski drawn out.
As Bartok lunged forward to attempt to impale Balki, he caught his blade with his and parried it away.
"I've had enough of your impudent acts toward your obvious superior." Bartok said, dropping his kuzotski and delivering a fierce right hook to Balki's face, knocking him to one knee.
"You know, I've never been one to fight, but you want it, you've got it, Buster Bunny!" Balki retaliated with a right of his own, right into Bartok's ribs.
"Yeah, get him, Dad!" Robbie yelled as the punch made Bartok stumble back slightly, then Balki followed up with a left to Bartok's side, and then a wicked backhand across his face, the sound of the back of Balki's hand striking Bartok's cheek sounding as loud as the gunshots outside.
"Know your place, peasant!" Bartok lifted his knee up, jabbing it into Balki's chest.
"BALKI!" Mary Anne cried out as Balki clutched his chest, attempting to catch his breath, only for Bartok to drive his elbow into Balki's back, between his shoulder blades.
"I'm not gonna let you hurt my dad anymore!" with those words, Robbie charged out to Bartok, with Meredith crying,"NO, GET BACK HERE, ROBBIE!"
Displaying the skill of an MMA fighter, Robbie snatched Bartok by his legs, took him down and began pummeling him with rights and lefts, with Bartok attempting to cover his face.
"Now will you step down, Bartok?" Robbie snapped.
Bartok's response was a quick and dirty thumb to the eye. As Robbie was clutching his eye in pain, Balki returned with a quick flurry of three direct left hooks to Bartok's face, and finishing off with a fourth wicked haymaker to the ribs.
"Enough of this feeble tomfoolery! Maybe someone else would like a go at me?" with those words, he kicked Balki directly between his legs, bringing him down immediately, then following up with the same front kick to Robbie's nether regions.
"And now, maybe I'd like YOU to play, sweet cheeks!" Bartok reached out and grabbed Mary Anne by the wrist, a scream of terror coming from her lips.
"NO! MOM!" Stephanie yelled.
As Tucker and Larry ran to grab Mary Anne from Bartok, he picked his gold kuzotski up again and pressed the blade to her throat.
"One more step and I'll slit her open like a sow at a slaughterhouse!" Bartok's hazel eyes widened with maniacal glee.
Bartok pressed the blade closer to Mary Anne's windpipe, threatening to slice it with the golden kuzotski in his hand.
"Now, airhead, tell your husband you want a real man, an almighty man." he hissed into her ear.
"No! I love Balki! We've been married for 26 years and there's no reason for us to split up, and even if you did succeed in killing him, I'd never marry you!"
Bartok's face was briefly expressionless before he squeezed her tighter and said,"What did you just say? And remember, I won't hesitate to break those bony little arms, sweet cheeks."
Just as Bartok was about to twist her arm to snap it, a large group of soldiers and refugees came pouring in, led by Captain Psomas, Queen Viki, Zoltan, Elena, and Zoltan Jr.
"WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED, BARTOK!" Captain Psomas yelled, with everyone pointing rifles and kuzotskis at him.
"Hmmmph, shoot me and I'll will slice through this bimbo's windpipe like a piece of salami."Bartok snapped.
Before he took his hand to slice Mary Anne's throat, he felt his leg grabbed and a hard punch to his manhood: Robbie had punched him between his legs.
"AAAAAHHH! NOT AGAIN!" he yelled, his Myposian accent slipping out before he fell to his knees, clutching his stinging testicles in agony.
"Ha! That's what ye get, boy!" Meredith yelled with her southern accent as thick as ever.
Mary Anne slipped from his grip and ran over to Jennifer. He looked over to see that Robbie had been the one to low blow him that time. Just as the soldiers went to apprehend Bartok, he stood up, lifting up the blade to his kuzotski, revealing that his kuzotski hid a handgun in it, and he aimed it at Robbie, laughing hysterically.
"ROBBIE!" Balki yelled, seeing Bartok pull the trigger.
Instantly, Balki pushed Robbie out of the way, only for the bullet from Bartok's kuzotski gun to pierce his chest. He groaned in agony and Mary Anne screamed,"NOOOOOOOO!"
Almost immediately, the soldiers forced the kuzotski gun from Bartok's hand and restrained him.
"It's over, Bartok! Enjoy your time in the International Crimes Court prison in the Hague!" Zoltan said, taking the rest of his weapons from his body and the soldiers led him out of the palace.
Robbie immediately ran over to Balki, who was on his knees, clutching the heavilly bleeding gunshot wound in the right side of his chest.
"Dad, it's over. Bartok's been captured and the islands are liberated! Dad?"
Balki groaned and fell over on the floor on his side, coughing violently and blood coming from his mouth.
"Oh no..." Meredith said, hugging a sobbing Mary Anne.
"Oh no you don't, buddy!" Larry said, kneeling down beside Balki,"We've been through EVERYTHING you could think of, we even witnessed the birth of my son while hanging off of a runaway hot air balloon, we got wired on a Midolcrampabloatalus root, we survived a kuzotski duel with Zoltan, we were even on a game show which I cheated on so I could get Tucker to the University of Wisconsin. You are NOT going to die, Balki!"
"Oh, Cousin, don't worry about me. Is only a flesh wound, see?" he moved his hand away and blood poured from the small bullet hole.
"Ohhhhh..." Larry backed up, trying not to faint.
"Wwwwwooooowwww, that's a lot of blood...ohhhh...so dizzy..." Balki rolled over on his back, his hand slipping weakly from his wound.
"Don't try to get up, Dad, somebody will be here to take you to the hospital...I hope..." Stephanie knelt down on the other side of him.
"Here, I'll try to slow the blood." she pressed her hand on his wound and Balki began coughing again, blood coming from his mouth.
"Oh dear..." Meredith moved over to Balki, then ripped his olive green shirt open, then placed the torn shirt on the wound,"As long as this wound is covered, he won't cough like that and lose more blood. Shhhh...listen..."they could hear air being sucked into the bullet hole in his chest,"...he needs a trauma unit stat."
"No..." Balki's breathing became more labored as it sounded like fluid was building up in his lungs,"I think it's Balki's time to go...I go to Mama and Yaya Biki now..."
"Don't say that, Balki! Please..." Mary Anne started to cry.
"Oh, my precious little spud muffin...please don't be sad...I go to a better place now." his lips began to turn a greyish blue.
"No, Balki, stay with us, buddy!" Larry's voice cracked as he struggled not to cry.
"Cousin...take care...of Mary Anne...and Stephanie and Robbie...for me..." it was getting harder for him to speak.
"Shhhh...save your strength..." Meredith said.
"I wish...I could tell you...more about...M...Mypos...and the...Metaxas...f...fami..ly..."
"WHERE IS THAT MEDICAL UNIT?!" Larry yelled.
"It's ok...Cousin...is time...to...let...go...I...I...love you all..." his hand dropped from his chest and he immediately stopped breathing.
"No! Oh hell no!" Meredith bent over, still holding the torn shirt over his wound, and listened for breathing, but heard nothing.
"Oh God, don't do this, Balki!" she whimpered as she felt for a pulse, but felt nothing.
"No! I refuse to let this happen! Robbie, help me perform CPR on your dad!"
Immediately, Robbie and Meredith begin giving Balki CPR, with Robbie delivering the compressions and Meredith breathing into Balki's mouth. While they continued their attempt to resuscitate him, the medical unit from the Cypriot military came in with advanced life support equipment. One officer placed patches on his bare chest and hooked him up to a heart monitor, and the monitor showed that Balki was in ventricular fibrilation.
"V-fib..." Meredith said to Robbie.
"That means they're gonna used the paddles." he replied.
"Yeah. We better go and calm down everyone."
Meredith and Robbie went over to Larry and Robbie said,"Well, Dad's in V-fib, meaning his heart is just twitching and not pumping blood, so they're gonna shock him with the paddles..."
"CLEAR!" the officer said as they delivered the first shock from the defibrilator paddles to Balki.
The heart monitor didn't respond.
"Oh no, is he going to die?" Mary Anne said.
"I hope not. They're also pumping fluid and meds into his veins and..."
Meredith was cut off by the steady beeping of a heart monitor.
"We have a pulse." the officer said in Greek.
"Well, praise Gaia!" Meredith said, with the others looking at her weirdly.
"She's a Wiccan." Robbie replied.
"Oh! Wiccan!" Larry nodded.
"The officer said that they have a pulse," Meredith then said to the officer in Greek,"Any luck with Balki?"
"His heart rate is increasing and his blood pressure is elevating, but his breathing is greatly impeded. We believe he has hemothorax, so he'll need a chest tube to drain the blood from his lung and surgery to remove the bullet, as it has lodged in his lung as well. We're preparing him for transfer to Athens to a hospital there."
Meredith looked over to see the officers intubating him and using a bag ventilator on him to help him breathe easier while the wound was bound with an airtight cover to keep air from coming out. The officers bound him to a backboard, then carried him out to the ship, which was heading to Athens.
The Bartokomouses and Appletons came out of the room behind the officers and Zoltan walked over to them.
"Oh no, is he all right?" he said worriedly.
"He coded, but they restarted his heart. Bartok shot him. It seemed he hid a handgun in the hilt of his kuzotski."
"Oh, speaking of kuzotskis, I found yours that we made you in a barrel full of kuzotskis." Zoltan handed her dual kuzotskis in their black scabbards.
"That must have been when he disarmed us."
"Where are they taking him?"
"To Athens to get him emergency help. He's got blood in his lung, not to mention a .9mm bullet lodged in there. He's gonna need surgery and a chest tube to drain his chest cavity of stray blood."
"Balki is a true hero and so are his family, yes, even the short lipless one."
"You know, it's taken me ages to see why you call Mr Appleton "lipless", but..." she looked over at Larry,"Yeah, he's lipless, all right."
Meredith and Zoltan laughed, then he said,"Come with us back to Skeptos and we'll fly you over on the military chopper to Eleftherios Venizelos."
"Of course. I'll go get them and we'll head over with you."