In the weeks that Lexie and Lynn had lived with them, Meredith quickly became aware of what it was like to have a small child in the house. Lynn was growing quickly and with wanted to experience more and more. She was very busy, never sat still unless she was watching cartoons, and was always getting into things. Meredith caught her more than once eating the dog food and washing her hair with the dirt from the potted flowers in the living room. Teaching Lynn what was right and what was wrong was very difficult for Meredith. She had caught Lynn drawing on the walls with crayons, and all Lynn had to do was to look at Meredith with big blue watery eyes and a sad pout and Meredith would cave.
"Be strong woman! She's manipulating you." Lexie said from behind her. Meredith stood up and moved over. Lynn looked at her mother and the tears vanished. She hid the crayon behind her back and tried to pout. Lexie stood staring down at her daughter with her hands on her hips.
"What is that?" Lexie said sternly pointing to the purple scribbling on the yellow painted walls. Lynn looked at it for a moment, tilted her head and then smiled at her mother.
"Fhower!" She said with a big smile. Lexie frowned at her daughter and the smile vanished.
"That's bad! You don't draw on the walls! That's what paper's for." Lexie scolded and took the crayons away. Lynn started to cry loudly and stomp her feet on the floor. Lexie sighed and then walked away from her and Meredith stood gaping at her sister and her distressed niece. Lexie looked back at Meredith.
"Ignore her. She'll stop in a minute." She said and then disappeared into the kitchen. Meredith took one last look at her sobbing, screaming niece and then quickly chased after her sister. In the kitchen Lexie was putting the crayons back in the box.
"You're just going to let her cry?" Meredith asked, completely flabbergasted.
"She's throwing a temper tantrum. If you ignore it then she'll stop a lot faster than when you react to it."
"But what if she doesn't? What if she's really upset?" Meredith said.
"Listen?" They both went silent and listened. There was no noise coming from the hallway. Only the occasional sniffle. They heard tiny feet hitting the hardwood floor and then the kitchen door swung open and a teary eyed, red-nosed toddler slumped into the kitchen.
"Well, are you finished?" Lexie asked looking at Lynn. Lynn rubbed her nose and nodded her head causing her curls to bounce. "What do you say to Auntie Meredith for drawing on the walls?"
"Sowee." Lynn said. Meredith picked her up and cuddled her.
"I really like your flowers but why don't you draw me flowers in my special note book instead?"Meredith said and Lynn's face grew into a huge grin.
"What's your special note book?" Lexie asked. Meredith smiled and reached into the craft cupboard and grabbed a pink notebook with stickers on the cover. "Is that…?" Lexie said staring at the familiar object. Meredith chuckled and laughed.
"I found it in my stuff last year. It's from when I was 4 or 5."
"When you actually enjoyed drawing." Lexie laughed and flipped through the book remembering how much she envied her sister for having this book; how badly she wanted to draw in it when she was little. Meredith sat Lynn at the table with her crayons and the notebook and turned back to her sister.
"That was some parenting lesson." She said smiling. "Good work Teach!" Lexie rolled her eyes and smiled.
"You'll pick up stuff when you have your own baby, you'll see." She said. Meredith felt that familiar pain in her heart and forced herself not to dwell on it. She studied her sister's face and noticed that she looked extremely tired.
"Are you ok?"
"Yea, why?" Lexie looked at her a little confused.
"You looked tired." Meredith said.
"Well that comes with the job, you'll-" Lexie stopped speaking as she realized what she was doing.
"Have you been talking to…Alex?"She whispered the name in case Lynn was listening. Lexie sighed and shook her head.
"Not since the other day." She rubbed her face.
"Well…it's a start." Meredith said, trying to be optimistic. Lexie stared down at the floor and rubbed her stomach gently. "Why don't you go lie down? I can watch the rug-rat." Meredith said pointing to Lynn who was now dangling the crayon over the table and tempting Bailey to jump up and grab it. Meredith picked her up and spun her around.
"I'm ok." She said unconvincingly. "I didn't come here to burden you with my problems."
"Lex, we're family. You're supposed to burden me with your problems. That's what families do. I mean I burden you with mine all the time. All my baby drama, if I didn't talk to you about that I would probably go crazy." Meredith chuckled as she held Lynn tightly and tickled her sides. "Besides stress can cause you to go into early labour and I don't really think you want to have this baby in the next week do you?"
"Well it's a possibility. I mean my due dates in what three weeks?" Lexie sighed as she studied the calendar.
"It's ok." Meredith said patting her sister's shoulder. "We'll deal with that hump when we get to it." Meredith smiled at her sister. "Now go sleep. That's an order."
"Go!" Lynn said, mimicking her aunt's facial expressions. Lexie smiled at her and then at her sister. She nodded and then headed off to her room.
"Now what are you going to do with you my little rug-rat?" Meredith said looking at Lynn.
"No rug-rat!" She said appalled. "Me Lynn!" She said placing a hand over her chest. Meredith chuckled and put her back at the table with her crayons. She sat down and started drawing flowers and trees and animals, listening to Lynn jabber away in a foreign language which she was just starting to understand.
The phone rang half an hour later and Meredith put down the crayons and answered it.
"Hello?" She said.
"Hi honey. It's your mother." Susan said.
"Huh, funny I thought it Derek. You know you sound so much like him?"
"Very funny! How are things going?"
"Fine. Things are progressing at a constant pace." Meredith said. "Lynn, don't touch the flowers. Smell them…"
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. Lynn has a new fascination with flowers, Mom. Finally you have someone who likes to garden as much as you do."
"Well…that's good news. She'll have to come and visit me soon." Susan said making the hint very obvious.
"We're coming over next weekend mother. Isn't George supposed to be breaking his engagement news to us?"
"OH! Don't tell him I told you. You didn't tell you sister did you?" Susan said.
"Of course I told her. You think I can keep that to myself. But don't worry we've been practicing our surprised reactions all week. Why Georgie! I had no idea you were thinking about getting married! Did you end up making it to the pier like you planned?" Meredith said in a fake enthusiastic voice and then chuckled at the end.
"Meredith. I'm serious. He'll be very upset if you already know." Her mother said with amusement on her voice.
"I know mother. Don't worry. I won't say a thing." Susan sighed and the conversation went quiet. Meredith sat at the table and watched Lynn study the picture she was drawing.
"How is she doing Meredith?" Susan asked. Meredith could hear the concern in her mother's voice and the frustration that she could do nothing to fix her daughter's situation.
"She's…tired. She talked to Alex last week and it didn't go so well."
"Didn't go well?"
"He's hired a lawyer." She heard Susan groan.
"My poor girl. Why won't she tell me these things?" Meredith cringed as she heard the hurt in her mother's tone.
"She's embarrassed mom. She doesn't want to disappoint you."
"She's not…what? How would that be disappointing me?"
"Well you and dad worked through your problems and she'll be the first one to get a divorce." Meredith sighed. "I think it's going to be fine. You said that George went and talked to him so I expect something to happen soon."
"What if she has the baby first?"
"Then she has the baby first. It's not a big deal as long as this gets solved." Susan sighed with frustration and the conversation went quiet again. Meredith sat colouring in a flower she had just drawn.
"So…how's the baby making going?"Her mother asked, tone completely changed.
"MOTHER!" Meredith protested and Susan chuckled.
"After all this time been married to Derek talking about sex still embarrasses you!" Susan laughed. Meredith pictured her mother sitting at the kitchen table, with a cup of tea and laughing her hearty laugh while she shook her head with disbelief.
"Sex is private. It's not…something you talk about." Susan went quiet. "But if your that curious its…great!" Susan laughed again.
"Any results?"
"I don't know… gimme a couple of days and we'll see." Meredith sighed as the feelings of excitement and fright mixed together.
"Well I will keep my fingers crossed and remember you in my prayers."
"Thanks Mom." Meredith sighed. She somehow always felt better knowing that she wasn't the only one praying for her to have a baby.
"Well I better go. Your father's going to be expecting dinner sometime soon."
"Ok, bye mom. I love you." She heard Susan sigh and felt like her heart was squeezing in her chest.
"I love you too. Don't worry about me dear. I'll be fine. Just focus on your baby, Ok?" Meredith bit back the tears and nodded. She then realized that her mother couldn't see her and exhaled a shaky breath.
"Ok Mom. I just…"
"Meredith, please honey. Don't do this to yourself now. It will be fine." Her mother's reassurance used to fix Meredith's worries right away, but she had seen the scans and done the tests herself. She knew what was going to happen in the months to come. "Meredith? You're still thinking about it aren't you?"
"I'm sorry." Meredith sighed.
"Stop it. Go and make dinner and tell that sister of yours to call me when she wakes up. Or I'll drive out there and you'll be having three house guests instead of two." Meredith chuckled and wiped away the tears.
"Ok, bye Mom." With that she hung up the phone and noticed that Lynn was watching her carefully. She sighed and smiled at her niece. "Hungry?"
"Mmmmm!" Lynn said nodding her head and smiling brightly. Meredith laughed and went off to make dinner, trying to forget all the bad things that were happening in her life.
------
Meredith sat on the edge of the bathtub, in pink flannel p.j bottoms and white t-shirt and tapped her leg with anticipation. She looked at the portable alarm clock on the counter and sighed. 30 seconds had passed since she had last checked the time. She placed the test on the counter and stood up. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She was extremely nervous. She was only a couple of days late, but she was too hopeful to wait any longer to take the test.
She studied her face and sighed. She rubbed her pale cheeks and looked at the tiny wrinkles forming at the sides of her eyes. She pushed her brown hair up into a pony tail and splashed cold water on her face. She dried it carefully with a towel and then checked the time. 1 minute left. She looked at her shaky hands and sighed. She grabbed her purple toothbrush and started to brush her teeth. She tapped her foot impatiently, taking her time in hopes that it would speed up time. When she heard the alarm beep she spit in the sink and grabbed the test before she rinsed her mouth or the toothbrush. She looked at the test on the counter and sighed. A tiny pink cross blinked back at her. She placed the test on the counter and placed both hands on the counter. She took a deep breath and smiled slightly. She placed both hands on her now flat stomach and looked at the ceiling.
"Please God, don't take this baby away from me." She said out loud.
"Meredith? Are you ok?" Derek said through the closed bathroom door. Meredith jumped and rinsed her mouth and then the toothbrush. She smoothed out her t-shirt, took a deep breath and opened the door. He looked at her with raised eyebrows, his blue eyes showing signs of aging and late nights at the hospital. She didn't know how to say it. She had said it many times before but now, this time was different.
"I'm…pregnant." She said cautiously; tasting the words. His expression changed from concern to confusion and then to concern again.
"Are you ok?" He asked. She looked at him with shock. A laugh left her lips and she felt herself relax.
"Of course. I'm pregnant." She said, looking at him. He smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her. She placed her head on his shoulder and inhaled deeply.
"What do you want to do?" Derek whispered.
"Do?" She said looking up at him.
"I mean, do you want to tell people, or do you want to wait?" Meredith thought about this for a moment and then sighed.
"I just want it to be normal and stress free. I'll tell people if I feel like I need to, but I'm not going to worry about it." She said nodding her head to give herself encouragement. She saw the twinkle of amusement in Derek's eyes and smiled. "I'm not!"
"Ok. I'll just remind you of that next week when you start to stress out." He chuckled and she frowned at him. He looked down at her and smiled. He leaned towards her and kissed her deeply, and passionately.
"We're pregnant." He said and she grinned back at him before she kissed him again.