Broken and Untamed

Chapter 9

Emmett: "I think she's coming around."

Edward: "It's my fault."

Carlisle: "No, Edward. It was an accident."

Edward: "I shouldn't have let her go like that."

Emmett: "I should have kept my mouth shut."

Alice: "Yeah, Emmett, you should've."

Esme: "Hey, this isn't helping anyone. Alice and Emmett, go and cool down. Edward…"

Edward: "It's my fault, I'm staying."

Esme: "Edward, go easy on yourself. It was an accident. You stay here and help Carlisle; I'll go and ring Charlie."

Edward: "Carlisle…"

Carlisle: "It's okay Edward, just a scratch."

Edward: "It's been half an hour."

Carlisle: "It's okay. I checked her out. She's concussed and she'll wake when her brain let's her."

"Ow…"

"Bella?" Carlisle whispered.

"Bella!" Edward quietly exclaimed.

"Mmmm?"

"Bella, its Doctor Cullen… Carlisle. Can you open your eyes honey?"

"Ugh…" I gently opened my eyes allowing stinging light to slither in the gaps.

"That's it. Just lay still, you're ok." Carlisle's voice was smooth and calming.

"Ow…"

I winced at the throbbing coming from my head. I automatically tried to sit up and grabbed my head but felt pressure on me as soon as I moved.

"Relax Bella. Can you open you're eyes a little more?" Carlisle hummed.

Aren't they open already?

I slowly lifted my heavy lids. Everything was bright and fuzzy. I blinked a few times and slowly focussed on the silhouettes above me that changed from heavy blurs to shaky outlines then eventually to a silhouette of Edward and Carlisle.

"Omigosh! Dr Cullen! I'm so sorry, I… ugh! Fuck! Ow!"

"Its okay, Bella. You've got concussion." Carlisle smiled warmly.

"But I… you and…"

"We're fine. We're more concerned about you at the moment. Do you know what day it is?" How could he be so calm? Oh right, the doctor thing.

"A pretty shit day at this point." I murmured.

Edward chuckled. I tried to smack his arm but missed completely. Crap.

"I think she'll be fine." Edward cracked a gorgeous crooked smile.

"Does anything hurt Bella?" Carlisle asked as he shone a light in my eyes.

"Um… you mean besides my head? I um… ugh… I don't think so."

"Okay. You just lay still. Charlie will be here soon." Carlisle patted his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Shit! Charlie! He'll be pissed!" I tried to sit up again but failed miserably. I lowered myself down and as my head made contact with the couch it felt like a rock. I winced again.

"Bella, it's okay. I think he'll just be happy you're not severely injured." Why did Carlisle have to be so polite?

"I'm… s-s-s-sorry…"

"Bella?" I felt Carlisle check my pulse.

"I'm c-c-cold…"

"She's going into shock. Can you help me Edward?" Now Carlisle's voice got a little firmer but remained surprisingly calm.

He scooped up my legs and Edward stuffed sofa cushions underneath then left the room.

"What's happening?" I heard a gentle voice.

"A-A-Alice?"

"No Bella, love. It's Esme."

"Oh… I-I-I'm… s-s-s-sorry…"

"Shhh." I felt Esme stroking my hair gently. "It's okay." She hummed quietly.

Edward returned with blankets.

"Carlisle, you're bleeding." Edward said quietly.

"Oh. Pass me some gauze will you?" Carlisle smiled apologetically at me as I gasped and looked at the gash more intently across his temple.

"It's okay Bella, just breathe slowly, in and out…" Edward held a piece of gauze to Carlisle's head while Carlisle checked my chest with a stethoscope.

"How are you doing Bella?"

"O-k-k-k-kay… s-s-still c-c-cold-d-d-d." Stupid fucking chattering teeth.

The phone in Esme's hand rang. "It's Charlie."

Esme kissed my forehead then patted Edward's arm as she walked into the kitchen.

"What can I do Carlisle?" Edward spoke quietly. I could hear the irritable edge of panic in his voice.

"If you don't mind, can you hold her and warm her up? Just be gentle."

"Uh… ok."

I started shuddering more than shivering. Edward gently rolled over the back of the sofa and cradled me holding me close then Carlisle placed a couple of blankets over us.

"Is that ok?" Edward whispered.

"Mmmm…" was all I could manage without sounding like a stuttering ass.

Carlisle grabbed some tape out of his bag beside him and secured the gauze to his head. I closed my eyes as I trembled.

"Carlisle?" Edward's tone was a little more panicked.

"It's ok, just let her rest and get warm. We'll keep an eye on her." Carlisle whispered.

Edward started humming and stroking my hair with one hand while rubbing my arm with the other that was wrapped around me.

"Charlie's almost here, Emmett will pick him up and bring him the rest of the way." Esme sighed. "How's she doing?"

"Bella, honey? Are you warming up?" I felt Carlisle check my pulse again.

"Mmm…" I tried to nod. Everything fucking hurt my head.

Edward continued to hum.

"Hell Bells! Carlisle… Doctor Cullen… I… is she…" I opened my eyes to see a flustered and angered but very hazy Charlie.

"D-Dad? Ow…" I closed my eyes again.

"She's got a good concussion and went into shock. She's slowly improving." Carlisle's voice was calm and reassuring.

"Why didn't you call an ambulance?" Charlie's authority had entered his voice.

"There was no need Charlie, she'll be okay.

"Have you looked in a mirror? You don't look so good yourself. I don't know if…"

"Charlie, I'm fine. The airbag just gave me a good scratch. Please, have a seat. She just needs some time."

"But… can I… is there anything I…" Charlie sounded like he was going into shock.

"Just being here, reassuring her, keeping her calm and quiet is the best medicine right now." I could hear Carlisle taking control of Charlie, firm and calm.

"Oh… I… oh, Bells." Charlie sat on the floor next to me taking my hand gently in his.

I opened my eyes slightly to see Charlie glaring at Edward briefly, seeing the glare turn into anguish then of gratitude. He sighed. Typical. He had to play the protective father figure while there was nothing intimate about Edward helping me even though I had to admit I was enjoying it a little.

I tried to grip Charlie's hand to reassure him but it was hardly even a soft squeeze. Charlie's eyes flickered to mine and he smiled sheepishly and I closed my eyes again.

"Bella, can you open your eyes?"

With a little concentration my brain connected to make it happen and I eventually peeled my eyelids open a little. Carlisle checked my vision with that annoying little torch again. Stupid invention.

I glanced around a little to see Charlie now sitting on the sofa next to the one I was on, his head propped up on his hand and staring at me expressionless. His jacket was on the sofa next to him. Edward was still humming and running his fingers through my hair.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle smiled softly as he checked my pulse.

"Is it still the same shit day?" My voice was quiet and hoarse.

Edward chuckled lightly shaking the two of us.

"Yes, sorry." Carlisle grinned. "Are you in any pain?"

"Other than my head? No." I winced.

Carlisle hand me some pills and a glass of water.

"Do you want to try these?"

I went to nod but that was inflicting more pain on me. Edward gently sat me up holding me to him as I held out my trembling hands.

"Here…" Edward took the glass of water and I opened my mouth as Carlisle fed me the pills.

I sipped the water carefully. Even swallowing made my head throb. I leaned my head slowly back against Edward's shoulder and let my eyes shut.

"Bella? How are you doing?"

I opened my eyes again to see Carlisle doing his regular check. It was darker.

"Um… ok? What time is it?"

"Almost seven."

I glanced around first noticing Charlie had gone. Carlisle had changed clothes and I had one less blanket over me. Edward was still behind me.

"Where's Ch… Dad?"

"He's with Emmett and Jake pulling the cars apart. He'll be back soon to join us for dinner." Said Carlisle.

"Oh." And then I clicked. "Emmett and Jake?" I bolt upright then grabbed my head as it throbbed.

"Carlisle…" Edward groaned.

"Oh… I… sorry Bella." Carlisle sighed.

"Dr Cullen… I'm sorry, I… I need to…" I was so confused. Jake was pulling apart my mess? With Emmett? And…

"Shhh Bella." Edward pulled me back to lean against him.

"Shock?" I heard Edward whisper.

"No, anxiety I think." Carlisle remorsefully replied. "Bella, breathe slowly… in and out… slowly…"

I struggled to follow the instructions at first then slowly focused on Edward who was breathing as Carlisle instructed helping me grasp the rhythm. Soon my breathing was in sync with his. I felt tears streaming down my face. I was so embarrassed; my bodily functions out of my control and my head throbbed like fucking crazy.

Once my breathing settled, I lay back down with my arms crossed over my face hiding my shame and holding my head together.

Edward started to hum again running his fingers slowly through my hair. The tears wouldn't ease. I fought as hard as I could against the sobs that threatened to escape feeling like that would push me over the top of whatever it was, impending doom? My head ached. I could feel the painkillers seeping in and taking affect.

"Hell! Glad I'm not fixing the thing. It should be squashed and buried!" Emmett roared with laughter.

"Yeah, well he spent some time on the engine. He takes pride in that thing." I heard Charlie chuckle but I refused to budge keeping myself from falling apart.

Things can't have gone too badly with Jake on the scene if Emmett and Charlie were laughing. It didn't ease my tension though.

"How's she doing?" Charlie must have walked in and stopped before coming right into the lounge.

"Really well. She'll be tired and will need to rest for a few days. Keep any sort of brain stimulation like television, conversation and noise to a minimum. I'll prescribe some pain medication. Actually… Charlie… do you mind if I have a brief word worth you in my office?" I heard Carlisle and Charlie leave the room.

"Bella, are you awake?" Edward whispered.

I sighed.

"Are you… okay?"

Kill me, kill me NOW! Am I okay? How the hell do I answer that? I couldn't remember the events. I remembered being upset, I remembered Edward's anguished expression as I was leaving, I remembered… well, sweet fuck all! I'm guessing I crashed my ute in the drive and possibly into Carlisle by the snippets of conversation I had heard. Oh, yeah, and the gash on Carlisle's forehead. How fucked was the ute? And his expensive car? Fuck, AM I OKAY? FUCK!

"Bella?" Edward's voice cracked as I broke into sobs.

"I'm FUCKED! I've totally… fuck… and… I…" I was heaving, trying to gasp for air but getting too much air at the same time. My head was spinning and pounding. Ugh!

"Breathe, Bella… out…" Edward rubbed my back as I bolt upright struggling for the air to leave my chest before it exploded.

My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest at any moment splattering anyone in the vicinity. I clung onto my body rocking back and forth. I started retching. Edward bolted. Great. I scared the fuck out of him!

The next thing I knew Edward jumped over the back of the sofa and held a bowl in front of me just in time. I gagged, retched and vomited nothing but the few sips of water I'd had. Oh, right… I hadn't eaten since… since… last night?

Edward rubbed my back humming again, shushing in between to calm me down. God! I really was a mess! What. The. Fuck?

"Everything okay Bells?" Charlie asked as he walked back in the room stopping at once when reaching the end of the sofa.

Let's get this straight… I HATE pity eyes.

Carlisle continued past Charlie rounding the sofa and put his hand on my shoulder in a fatherly gesture, one that Charlie couldn't bring himself to do.

I nodded. "Can I go home?" I choked out quietly.

Charlie looked at Carlisle, Carlisle looked at Edward, and Edward cocked an eyebrow with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. What was I missing here? Charlie looked down at his feet, puzzled and speechless.

"What?" I was getting paranoid. And the throbbing in my head wasn't helping the rage I was trying to hold back.

Carlisle crouched in front of me. "How are you feeling?"

"Um…" I sighed. "My head still hurts. But, okay… I guess."

I eyed Carlisle suspiciously.

Carlisle nodded with pursed lips. "I want you to take it easy and rest. No television, no…"

"I heard." I cut him off. Yeah, rudely but I was so past today.

Carlisle sighed giving me a concerned look which I ignored and flicked the blanket off me.

"I'll stop by tomorrow and check in on you."

I nodded slowly. "Dr Cullen?"

"Carlisle." He smiled.

"Uh… Carlisle… I'm sorry about the trouble I've caused you and your family."

I couldn't look at him. I was so ashamed from all the events from… well, the scattered memories I could scratch together of my time at the Cullen's.

"Don't worry about any of that right now. You just look after yourself and take care. There's no need to be hard on yourself, it'll all work itself out in time."

I looked up to see Dr Cullen's… Carlisle's warm and compassionate smile. I was definitely missing something but right now I didn't give a shit. I craved the comfort of my bed, a cigarette and being alone.

Edward helped me up and kept his arm around my waist as I wobbled a little. I gave him the slightest apologetic smile. Hey, I'm not a total bitch. Well, not right now.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Anytime." Edward returned my apologetic smile with more effort in his than I had put into mine.

Edward walked me out to Charlie's cruiser. As I got in the car I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's car. I couldn't make out what it was but it looked European and expensive. The front of it was pushed in and the bonnet buckled. I gasped and then cringed at the thought of having to work to pay it off for the rest of my life.

I felt the pang in my chest and the pounding in my head again. I closed my eyes and rested back against the car seat wishing I could've just not woken up after the accident.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward spoke softly.

I had completely forgotten he was still standing beside the car.

"You're sorry?" I looked up at Edward. I was confused and looked away from him and back at Carlisle's car.

"Yeah, I am. I…"

I sighed and shook my head. That hurt. I held my temples.

"I'll see you… uh…" Edward trailed off.

"Yeah." I whispered and Edward paused before quietly closing the car door.

Charlie finished talking to Carlisle on the porch, shook Edward's hand thanking him on his way to the car.

Edward held one hand up in a still wave before slinking into the house. I closed my eyes again and remained silent for the drive home thankful that Charlie wasn't a big talker.

We arrived home and all I could think of was ducking out the back for a well overdue cigarette as we entered the house.

"Are you…"

I turned around and glared at Charlie. "Please don't ask if I'm okay." I sighed.

"Actually, I was going to ask if you were hungry." Charlie smiled warmly.

"Oh… dinner. Dad, I…"

"You don't have to worry about me Bells. The Cullen's fed me. Boy, can that Esme cook!" Charlie patted his belly.

"No, I just want a cigarette and then to go to bed."

"But…"

"I'm not hungry." I pushed past Charlie and out the back door.

I sat down and lit a smoke resting my head on my arm which was wrapped around my legs hugging them close to my chest. I tried to remember the accident but it was like trying to make a picture out of a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle that had just been opened and spilt on the floor.

I finished my smoke and headed back inside. I gave the dead plant where I stubbed my smoke out a jealous glare feeling for it.

"I should be so lucky." Great, I was talking to dead plants.

Charlie was sitting in the lounge channel surfing. I kept walking.

"Night."

"Goodnight. Oh… Bells?"

"Yeah?" I turned on my heels to face Charlie and grabbed the doorframe as I wobbled.

"I have to check on you through the night… just so you know."

"'Kay."

I turned and went up to my room before anything else could be said. I changed into my pyjamas deciding a shower could wait until I had the energy. I ran a hot facecloth over my face trying to ease off the remainders of the shittiest day.

I grimaced at the pain from my forehead looking in the mirror at the sight of it. My forehead was swollen, my eyes bloodshot and there were bruised bags forming under them, my hair was a fucking mess.

I decided to leave the room before I smashed anything at the mirror.

I curled up in bed in the foetal position finally getting comfortable and ignoring the instructions about "no brain stimulation" settling for whatever I landed on with my walkman. The screen was blurry so I had no idea what I ended up listening to. It was music I hadn't heard before but it was good. Great even. Acoustic, mellow… just what I needed to soothe myself to sleep.

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