I don't know what I'm doing now. I know I'm trying to protect Alex, but... I don't know if she really needs it. I don't know if I'm doing it the right way. I don't know if I've even done the spell right, and the only way to really find out would be to let her hurt herself for me... and aside from the hurting herself part of that, if it does work, I'd have to suffer the consequences then.

Part of me thinks it was simpler just pining away for her and dying inside a little at a time. At least then it was only me who could get hurt by it. Another part of me wants to take her at her word - 'do whatever you need to'.

But then, what I need and what I want aren't the same thing. I can live with this. I can.

And because I love her, I must.

Alex came into the room, and Justin quickly pulled his math book on top of what he'd been writing, flipping it open as he did.

"Hey," she said, flopping herself onto his bed. "What're you doing?"

"Homework," Justin lied, trying not to look at the way his beautiful little sister was sprawled on his bed, not to think about crawling onto it and joining her there. Don't think about kissing her. Don't think about how her hair smells. Don't -

He stopped and sighed, turned to look at Alex. She'd pulled one of his pillows down under her arm, was leaning on it, hanging her head so it was almost upside-down, looking at him like that.

For her part, Alex was scanning his room with her peripheral vision, trying to figure out where Justin's wand was. She watched silently as he looked at her, let herself smile a little as his eyes roved over her body, taking in the sleep cami and pajama shorts. She stretched a little, arching her back as she did, letting the motion emphasize her breasts.

Justin felt his eyes drawn there, willfully pulled them to her face. "What do you want, Alex?"

"I'm worried about you," she said truthfully. "Look... what I said to you last night, about doing whatever you need to to me..."

She hesitated, and Justin felt his heart in his throat, his pulse suddenly picking up. "Yes?"

"I want you to know that I mean it. Justin," she said, reaching out and taking his hand. Part of him wanted to pull that hand away, but he couldn't do it, and instead, he found himself closing his eyes, focusing on those few inches of skin touching. "I know you're worried about hurting me. But nothing you could do to me would hurt me as much as losing you would. So please..." She pulled his hand forward, using both of hers now, pulling so that his desk chair rolled closer to the bed. "... do whatever it takes to make you feel good," she finished, then kissed his knuckles - and then moved his hand down to her breasts, placing it against them, pushing it flat.

Justin shivered, then opened his eyes, and slowly but firmly pulled his hand away.

"Alex - you don't know what you're saying. I -"

Alex let out a breath, rolled her eyes, and sat up on the bed. "I know what I'm saying, Justin. I found Mom and Dad's copy of The Joy of Sex when I was eleven. I've read the whole damn thing. Do you want me to get clinical? If you want to put your pe -"

"No!" Justin put his fingers in his ears, glaring at Alex, and she couldn't help but grin. This was more like what she was used to with him. She shut her mouth, put on a contrite expression, and after a second, Justin lowered his hands.

So of course, Alex continued. "penis in my -" He brought his fingers back up and glared again, and she grinned wider, then stood up in front of him. "Well," she said then, "maybe I should show you..." She put a hand on the waistband of her pajama shorts, started to pull them down, and Justin immediately kicked his chair into a spin, turning away from her.

Which was, of course, exactly what Alex expected. With him turned around, she quickly looked around, then spotted his wand on the desk. She pushed and turned his chair around, finding that his eyes were now tightly shut - also as she'd expected. She reached and moved his wand, putting it on the edge of the desk, moving it from his desk to the foot of his bed, then putting her hands on Justin's wrists and pulling them so his fingers came out.

"Okay, you've made your point. You're going to keep acting like an idiot from some misguided sense of honor. Well... I'm not going to let you do that so much that you kill yourself." She paused, then said, "I'm going to come in here to sleep with you tonight. You're not going to lock your door, or sleep out on the couch, or anything else like that, because if I have to break down your door, or curl up against you on the couch where anyone could see us, I will. What you do or don't do with me while I'm in your bed with you is up to you, but I am not leaving you alone to go trying to jump off the balcony, or slit your wrists, or anything like that. Do you understand me?"

Justin looked up at his little sister, wondering at the anger that was in her tone. Does that mean she really loves me, that she's mad at me for trying to push me away? Or is she just worried?

He nodded slowly for his response, but Alex shook her head. "Not good enough. Say the words, Justin."

"I understand," he said, and Alex gave him the smile she always did when she got her way. "Good." She leaned down then and kissed him on the cheek, then stood back up, smiling a little more at the subtle blush that rose up on Justin's face. "And now, say what I didn't let you last night. I won't stop you this time."

"I love you," Justin let out quickly, and Alex smiled, took his hand and squeezed it.

"I'll be here as soon as everyone's in bed," she said, then tilted her head toward the desk. "Now, finish your homework."

Justin turned back to his desk, and Alex smiled and walked out of his room - picking up his wand from where she'd put it as she did.