Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, locations, etc. of Final Fantasy VIII; they belong only to their rightful owner, and it is not me.

Note: Hm, excuse my rather short chapters lately. This is a longer one; hope it is a bit more satisfying. Thank you all for your kind reviews and messages. I will definitely finish this story one day though, no matter what.

It wasn't until the early evening that Rinoa returned from her tiresome excursion to Trabia Garden. Selphie had outlined everything that would be happening in the next few weeks. What particularly sparked her interest was a festival the restored academy would be holding in the next month. The two young women squealed with excitement at the thought of it; exclaiming how such an event would be one of the first times the gang would be together after the sorceress defeat. Due to everybody's other commitments, times spent together were becoming seldom for the team.

Squall was commanding a Garden, Quistis and Zell were busy with classes, Selphie was frequently travelling between Balamb and Trabia, Irvine was usually accompanying her and Rinoa was around Garden helping out where she could. Everyone saw each other at breakfast if they were lucky.

Rinoa assumed that her boyfriend would be found in his office. However, when she knocked and found the door locked, she wondered where he could have gone. She took the elevator back down to first level and walked to the dormitory. He wasn't in his room either. But she decided to let herself in with his spare key and wait for him. Surely, he wouldn't be gone too long, she thought optimistically.

She didn't realise that she had fallen asleep when she woke up on Squall's bed, noticing that it was about 4AM in the morning. And he was still not back from wherever he was. Feeling slightly let down, she trudged back to her own room and collapsed on her bed, too tired to care anymore.

"Zell?" she asked the following morning during breakfast, "Have you seen Squall? I haven't been able to find him."

The martial artist paused momentarily, "Nah, I haven't; seems like he just kind of disappeared yesterday."

"Disappeared?" repeated Rinoa, sounding extremely worried.

"Yeah, Headmaster Cid was calling for him over the intercom. Then he called me to his office because Squall didn't come. Apparently, Squall had left Garden yesterday afternoon without official notice... you know, if anyone has to leave Garden during working hours, they have to let administration know. Especially Squall, he's the commander after all."

"That sounds like a very un-Squall thing to do," Rinoa mused softly.

The female blonde instructor cleared her throat before turning to the brunette, "I was trying to find him yesterday too. I also found it odd when he was nowhere to be found and when Cid said he had disappeared without a word."

"Now that you mention it, I ran into Puberty Boy before he left," Seifer finally spoke up, lifting his feet so that they rested on a nearby chair, "He looked like he was in a hurry."

"What happened?" asked the distressed girlfriend of the person they were speaking of. Everyone else also listened intently on the new information.

"Said he had Garden business to do or some crap like that," the gunblade wielder recalled.

Quistis shifted uncomfortably in her chair and folded her arms, "Does that mean Squall was lying about where he was going and used Garden as an excuse to cover up whatever he was doing."

Seifer narrowed his eyes, "Then it makes sense why Ellone was with him."

"Ellone?" everyone repeated.

Rinoa suddenly felt very confused. What was going on?

Squall arrived back at Garden late that evening and found his girlfriend sitting in his room. He could see the worry in her eyes and even slight fear. He knew he would have to answer all her questions but he was feeling really exhausted. Casually, he gave her a wave and headed towards the bathroom to take a shower.

"Squall..." her voice was low.

"...Yes?"

She stood and crossed the room to stand behind him, "You know what I want to ask."

Slowly, he turned and gazed at her, seeing the resolve in her eyes, "Sorry for not being around these last two days, I've been away on Garden business. It's confidential stuff; you know I can't share it with you."

Rinoa Heartilly could not believe what she was hearing. He was lying right in front of her face and he didn't even seem fazed by it either. Unconsciously, she clenched her fists and stepped slightly away from him, "There was no official record of you applying to leave Garden during working hours."

His eyes widened, knowing he had been caught. Yet he still continued the charade, "It was personal business. I went by myself."

It was her turn to widen her eyes. Something was definitely going on, "Seifer saw you leaving with Ellone."

It was obvious that his jaw clenched at being exposed, "Well, he's a liar."

"What's wrong with you, Squall? You're the one that's doing all the lying!" she could not contain her anger anymore, "Why can't you just tell me the damn truth? Don't you trust me?"

He became angry as well. Firstly, because his secret had been revealed. Secondly, because he was being yelled at by the one person he thought would understand him, "Why are you getting so worked up?" he raised his voice slightly.

"I thought you were above all that. I can't believe you, trying to lie right to my face. Of course, I'd be worked up."

The commander went quiet for a moment, glowering at her, his mouth drawn into a thin line. Finally after an eternity, he spoke softly, "What do you want?" Looking anywhere but at her.

It hurt the way he was dismissing her; as if the feelings that had share for each other in the past months meant nothing to him. She sighed in defeat, "I just want to know where you went..." she said in a small voice. Slowly, she walked towards the door until she faced it, "But, if you don't want to say, that's fine."

"Rinoa, wait," he clutched her shoulder, "I... I went to Winhill to see Raine's grave..."

"See," she replied, tears beginning to choke her voice, "That wasn't so hard, was it?" And with that final question, she removed his hand from her shoulder and walked out the door, shutting it behind her. It wasn't a loud angry bang. Her unhappiness could be heard from the soft click that the door made when it closed.

Squall continued to watch the door long after the departure of the young sorceress. He didn't know exactly what he was feeling. It felt like emptiness; the feeling that he wasn't feeling at all.

Days passed and the two did not come into contact with each other. Squall buried himself in his work in an effort to not have to think of a certain dark-haired beauty of a sorceress. It wasn't that he was angry at her. He knew she had been right when he had lied to her about his whereabouts. The only thing that plagued him know was not knowing what he should do; whether he should approach her or wait for her to see him. Both options did not seem desirable anyway because he wouldn't know what to say when he saw her.

On the fourth day, after what seemed like an eternity, he couldn't take it anymore. The slightest things would trigger a sudden memory of her. Even his work desk kept stirring up images of her sitting on it while she had waited for him to finish for the evening. His own bed reminded him of when she would be cuddled up in his arms. He thought he was definitely going insane when he would spontaneously be able to smell her scent as if she was right beside him. The scent was indescribable. It was simple Rinoa.

The great Commander Squall Leonhart had been brought down by a hallucination.

He didn't bother attempting to sit at his desk and pretend to work on his papers after hours. He just wanted to see her. Feel her petite figure enveloped in his arms and lose himself in the moment where nothing else but her mattered. He didn't want to see her hurting because of him anymore.

Unfortunately, she was not in her room. A fact he discovered when he had knocked loudly on her door. He sighed, thinking what an anti-climax it had been. After all, he had built up the courage to find her and then he was rewarded with nothing. Tiredly, he ran his fingers through his unkempt hair and sat on the cold ground with his back leaning on the wall. He hoped that she would be back soon. Or else he would be burdened with another sleepless night.

Students at the academy peered curiously at the lone commander sitting by the door as they retired for the evening. But they said nothing; knowing better to just leave him be and mind their own business.

Squall wasn't sure how many hours passed while he sat there. It felt like he had been drifting in and out of unsettled slumber. And every time he dozed off, he could feel her arms around him. But when he reached to grab hold of her, she disappeared. However this time, when he pried his eyes open, it was already dark and the night insects were already busy buzzing away as they did every night. He heard footsteps. And they sounded very familiar. Immediately lifting his head, he saw his girlfriend approaching him.

She looked like her usual self but he observed closer and saw her eyes lacked their usual happy shine. He wondered if she had the same trouble trying to sleep as he had. Rinoa stopped in front of him, and gazed down at him with surprised eyes. Obviously, this was something that she had not been expecting.

"Rin..." he whispered breathlessly, his voice piercing her heart.

"Oh Hyne, Squall!" she suddenly yelped, reaching down to help him up, "How long have you been out here? The weather's starting to get cold, you know? It's easy to get sick sitting out here without enough layers to keep you warm". She was genuinely worried about his wellbeing. When he was finally on his feet, she quickly tested his temperature with the back of her hand and inspected him critically.

Then she realised that she had not been planning to play the nurse when she saw him again. She had wanted to put on a mask of indifference and wait for him to show concern first. She inwardly reprimanded herself for letting that mask slip at the sight of her boyfriend waiting for her out in the cold. It wasn't that cold yet, she scoffed.

On the other hand, Squall felt his mood lighten at bit more at the sight of his girlfriend expressing concern for him. When he felt her hand draw away from his forehead, he immediately grabbed it and held it tightly with both hands, "Rinoa..."

She felt her breath being taken away at the simple contact of his hands and her heart instantly began to beat quickly. He was looking at her intently and she could feel the suffering he had endured in the past few days. Whether it was because of the sorceress-knight connection or it was because she had been feeling the same way too, she did not know. But she felt tears forming in her eyes as she felt her facade crumble and shatter to countless pieces. The argument, she felt, wasn't worth the pain of being apart.

"Squall!" she cried, practically diving into the warmth and comfort of his body. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed uncontrollably. "I'm sorry..." her words trembled along with her body.

"Shh..." he hushed her, holding her just as tightly and running his fingers gently through her long hair, "Don't apologise."

In reply, she shook her head furiously and gave a soft squeak of disapproval. Knowing it was probably better not to have a reunion in the hallway within earshot of the rest of the Garden, she blindly reached into her bag to retrieve her key. She managed to compose herself enough to open the door without too much trouble.

They entered, barely leaving each other's contact. Squall led her slowly towards her bed and they sat down facing each other. Rinoa still had tears running down her cheeks but had calmed down enough to be able to speak. No matter how many times she cries, it never became easier for him to watch. He drew her close again so that she rested against his shoulder.

He spoke softly, "I'm sorry," he began before she could interrupt, "Please forgive me. It's my fault."

The young woman lifted her head and frowned, "It's not all your fault..."

"If I had just told you the truth from the beginning, then you wouldn't be crying, would you?" he replied.

She paused, looking down at her lap, "I should be more understanding."

"No..." he said. It was apparent that he was having trouble letting all his feelings out, "I shouldn't deceive you. I..." he trailed off.

Her eyes examined his sombre expression and she waited for him to finish his sentence.

"I..." he tried again, "I don't want to hurt the one I love." He closed his eyes, hoping she would be able to understand what he meant and not reject him. When he opened his eyes, he saw more tears falling from her eyes. But this time, he saw the way her lips curved upwards into a smile. He felt that he had finally done something right.

"Oh, Squall," she whispered, falling into his arms once more, "I love you."

Time passed and the couple did nothing but hold each other; basking in each other's warmth and security. Finally, Squall was the first to speak. He cleared his throat, "Spend tonight with me?"

She tensed in response and he panicked for a second. The silence that passed was terribly slow before she answered, "What about Garden regulations?"

"Screw regulations," he grumbled and Rinoa was shocked and amused at hearing her boyfriend curse, "I... don't want to be apart from you anymore."

And it was arranged. Once she was done preparing and cleaning herself, she would meet him in his room. And they would spend their first night together.

Rinoa took a moderately long shower as she reassessed the events of the past half hour. The first minute she had been angry. The next: concerned, upset, apologetic and above all, astonished at her boyfriend's forwardness. Now she was getting ready to sleep over in his room for the night. His last words to her almost sounded possessive. But it was cautious at the same time. He wasn't perfect at expressing himself after all.

She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, hastily grabbing for the towel hanging off the rack. The weather had definitely turned colder in the past week or so. Winter was definitely coming. It felt as if Balamb Garden had decided to locate beside its Trabian counterpart. She dried and dressed herself in normal casual clothes. Then she packed her things into an overnight bag and made sure Angelo's water bowl was full before leaving to Squall's room.

Although she knew she had the key to his room, it was out of nervousness that she knocked lightly on his door. This wasn't an everyday occurrence so it seemed extra special. And, she had to admit, she felt a bit anxious. She honestly didn't know what was going to happen tonight. Everything had just been a rollercoaster and at the end of it was a dark abyss of uncertainty.

Squall opened the door and let her in. He had discarded his day attire and settled for a plain t-shirt and his pyjama pants. His hair was damp, suggesting that he too had had a shower. He gave her a small smile and offered to lift her bags elsewhere. His eyes darted about the room and occasionally settled on her. At first glance, he felt a little disheartened. Her clothes didn't make it seem like she was going to spend the whole night here. But he silently hoped that she had brought extra clothes in that bag of hers.

"Squall," she said softly, "Do you mind if I get changed? I just didn't want to make it look too weird in case I ran into anyone in the hallway."

He cleared his throat and released the breath he had unconsciously been holding, "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, unzipping her bag to retrieve her clothes. She disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door.

The commander sat on his bed and sighed. There was obviously a lot of tension in the air. This was their first night together in his room after officially becoming a couple. He ran his fingers through his hair and vowed to make sure she would be comfortable tonight. The sound of the bathroom door swinging open roused him from his thoughts. His head lifted in her direction and his eyes widened.

She was wearing a pair of dark silk pyjamas that wasn't anything too revealing. It was pretty innocent actually. But for some reason, Squall felt his heart beat a little bit faster and his breathing rate increase. He watched as she placed her worn clothes into her bag and caught sight of a piece of lace wrapped within her shirt. Even if he hadn't had heaps of experience with women, he knew for a fact what that object was (thanks to some very descriptive explanations by Irvine). And he was aware that his girlfriend was lacking that one garment. It made him happy. He was glad that she felt comfortable around his presence, even if she didn't say it aloud.

Rinoa sat down next to him and gave that same timid smile from when she asked if she could change clothes, "Sorry, did I make you wait long?"

"No," he replied, astounded that he had trouble articulating his words, "Not at all."

"Squall, are you all right?" she asked in alarm, immediately drawing closer to him, "You're sick, aren't you? After being in the cold..."

He leaned back slightly, "No!" he exclaimed. Then he figured how rude that must have sounded, "It's just..."

"...Kind of awkward that I'm here?" she finished his sentence for him, reading his exact thoughts.

His shoulders slumped, "Sorry."

She giggled softly, music to his ears, "It's fine. I feel like that too," she confessed sheepishly, "But, I feel really happy being here."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're here," she grinned, "I always want to spend more time with you. But sometimes you're really busy. And I don't want to bother you too much. You've got a lot of things on your mind."

Squall smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her closer and rested against her hair. She smelt like a very fruity and floral shampoo and he concluded that he could definitely get used to this. Quickly taking a glimpse towards his wall clock, he reached to his bedside table and turned on a night-lamp. He missed her warmth when he turned out the main room lights, but he quickly returned to her side. In the dim light, she looked so much more angelic; especially with her shy countenance.

He couldn't help but kiss her. It felt like the right thing to do and he had wanted to do it since he had seen her outside her room. She didn't know it but she had been seducing him silently since she had changed her clothes. Carefully, he ran his hands down her back and felt her back arch as her arms pulled him closer. The silk she wore felt so thin that he thought that he was touching her skin.

They drew apart briefly to catch breath. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips a swollen red and her eyes lidded. She was a temptress in his eyes; and she definitely didn't even know it. Their eyes met but he was the first to look away. Any longer and he didn't know what would happen.

"Squall?" she was worried that he was rejecting her.

He hesitated, "I'm sorry, Rin. I don't know if I can control myself."

Her eyes were full of question at first but then realisation dawned upon her expression. She blushed and finally answered, "It's okay," she began slowly, "You don't have to control yourself. I trust you."

His eyes widened and he glanced at her as if she had just lost her mind. But no, she was definitely sane. He swallowed hard, "If you want me to stop, you'll tell me, right?"

She smiled at his gentlemanly composure and nodded her head, "I will."

He inhaled slowly and nodded as well. Gently, he lifted her chin and met her lips with his own once more. His fingers brushed against her warm cheeks and down the side of her neck. She shivered in response and clutched the front of his shirt; wanting to pull him closer and also as if he was her lifesaver and she had to hold onto him for dear life should anything go wrong. Carefully his tongue parted her lips and he ran it teasingly against hers. She gasped at the contact and wanted to feel more of the touch, yet he had already retreated. And he did it again, tempting her and pulling away when she thought she was going to get more.

Finally, she was starting to get a bit frustrated at this little game Squall was playing. She whimpered softly, signalling that she wasn't satisfied. Her whimper was cut short when he finally invaded her mouth and earned himself a quiet moan from the woman. The passion gradually intensified and her hands no longer gripped his shirt. They travelled down his back and slipped under his shirt to caress his skin.

He jumped at the contact and placed tender kisses down her neck, noting a particular area that made her breath hitch. He made sure that he paid special attention to that spot because it was making her squirm in his lap, where she didn't know how she had gotten there in the first place. Swiftly, he lifted her so that her head rested on the pillow and he was over her, yet careful not to crush her too much. He continued his assault on her lips and ran his hands down the sides of her body. She gasped again at his pleasurable touch and proceeded to run her fingers through his hair.

"Squall..." she exclaimed breathlessly, upon feeling his lips brush against her collarbone.

He lifted his head, "Rinoa," he replied in a deep husky voice, "...You're beautiful."

When she heard him use her name in that voice, she felt tingles throughout her body. Such a simple utterance caused her imagination to run a bit wild. And it made her so happy that he was showing just how much he wanted her.

"Do something for me, Squall?" she requested, although it was hard forming words as he was still distracting her with his kisses.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Turn the light off for me?" It was meant to be a statement but her nervousness was getting the better of her.

His eyes flashed with intense curiosity but he turned the lamp off anyway so that the room was shrouded in darkness, except for the faint light of the moon behind the clouds outside the window. For a moment, nothing happened. Squall was wondering if she had decided to escape in the dark while the lights were out. However, he could still feel the warmth beneath him that proved his prediction wrong.

Then he felt her hands reach for his. Her hands were shaking and he was beginning to worry, "Rin?" he whispered.

She held his left hand and drew it towards her. She made sure his palm was open and placed it upon her right breast, still covered by her pyjamas. When Squall realised her intention, he froze and tried to say something; anything. "Are you sure?" was all he could come up with. He wanted her, definitely yes. But he was concerned whether she was doing this because she wanted to or if she felt obligated to do so.

"Yes," she answered innocently, "I just... wanted to know what it feels like."

The situation probably would have appeared comical had the lights stayed on. Neither knew that the other was blushing and their voices masked their surprise. Squall's hand remained still, "And, how does it feel?" he asked uncertainly.

She smiled shyly, "It's warm" she giggled, "And nice. How about you?"

He smiled in return, unsure of what to reply to such a question. After all, he was on top of his girlfriend with a hand on her breast. He supposed that any man would feel pretty happy if they were in his situation; unless of course, such a touch was undesired. "I guess it feels pretty good," he replied.

"You guess?"

"Well," he paused, "It's soft?"

She burst into giggles and playfully hit the arm that was touching her, "Is that all you're going to say?"

"Well... I can't compare. I've never done this kind of thing before." And then he added cheekily, "Maybe if I have more practice with yours, I'll be able to say more."

"Oh my Hyne, Squall!" she cried, "Was that a dirty joke? You've been hanging around the guys too much, haven't you?"

He chuckled and opted to give her a tight hug. All the tension had disappeared and he genuinely felt happiness about being on speaking terms with the woman he loved. "I missed you, Rinoa."

"I missed you too."

The night was getting late and they soon fell asleep in each other's arms, feeling like they had gotten much closer than ever before. They didn't feel the need to go any further from what Rinoa had requested him to do earlier. Both were satisfied that the other was comfortable in their presence; and it was a wonderful sensation in and of itself.