Here's chapter 9 sorry for the late update I've been busy with something unexpected.... I know you'll hate me for this chapter... so I'll take this opportunity to say that I'll be gone for two weeks, I'll be out of town this week and the following week I have important business to attend to because my grandmother is to undergo surgery so I'll be busy minding the business sorry....
Thanks lhaine07, James Birdsong, and Timeless Eclipse for the reviews... (",) this chapter will be somewhat unexpected, i hope you'll still like it...
Chapter 9: Are we dating or we're just friends?
"Good morning sleepy-head"
I heard someone greeted me, when I went to the kitchen for a drink. I was still groggy to even care who it was. When I heard it again, "Good morning sleepy-head, are you sleep-walking or something? Your practice starts in an hour, are you going or should I tell them you're not feeling well?"
"Huh?" I looked over for the voice.
Syaoran? What is he doing here? It's still too early for our practice, and I don't remember him telling me that he'll spent the time here, before going to practice in the afternoon.
"Dear, are you alright?" I heard my mom said out of the corner, and looked at her wondering why
"Yeah, I'm okay mom. Syaoran, aren't you a bit early? You told me you'd be here by three; it's just eleven in the morning."
"It's already three in the afternoon. So are you going to practice or not?"
"It couldn't be three, I just finished my book a moment ago, and the last time I checked my clock it is still eleven o'clock."
"Maybe you fell asleep? Why don't you check the clock again?"
My eyes widen at the sight of the time. Its ten minutes pass three. Oh no! I'm going to be late, captain will kill me. Why am I still doing here, I have to hurry up. Oh no! And I'm still not ready.
"I brought my bike, so take all the time you need." He smiled assuring me that I have all the time I need to get ready.
If I didn't know any better, I'll think that he's a mind reader. I should act quickly or else, he'll be late with me, and I'll be dead by captain's rage. She'll surely bite my head off this time.
-After 15 minutes-
"Well that was fast; I didn't expect you to finish right away. Tori was right, when she told me you're not like those typical ladies."
"We're going to be late, what'd you expect?"
"Let's go then? We'll be going now, thanks for the hospitality Mrs. Kinomoto."
"Bye mom, we'd be going now."
I wonder how it feels like to ride at his bike. It'll be the first time to ride a bike, thank goodness my mom allowed me to even ride it with him.
"Here wear it." Handing me a red helmet
"I don't want to wear it, it'll ruin my hair"
"It's either you let your hair be ruined or we're not riding this bike"
"You can't make me! Hmp! I had a hard time fixing my hair, and I won't fix it again, especially when we're already late." I think I made myself clear. I don't care if we're late, I still won't wear that.
Where is he going now? We're already late. "Hey, what are you doing?""
"I'm going to ask your mom if I can leave my bike here for a while"
"Why? We're already late. We have to go now and the fastest way to school is using your bike."
"We have a lot of time still. I adjusted the time so you'd hurry up, with your mom's permission of course."
"Syaoran! Why did you do that? Argh! I could have done my things more proper, I wouldn't have to fix my things in such haste like that if I knew what you did. Argh!"
"Oh, hi Mrs. Kinomoto, I would like to ask if I may leave my bike here for a while"
"I thought, you're going to ride it to school, you ask my permission for Kura right?"
"Well she didn't want to wear the helmet, and as promised your daughter's safety comes first."
"Then sure you can, go on now, or you'll be late."
"Thank you again, I'll pick it up later when I walk Sakura home."
"Be careful on your way, okay? I'll be looking at your bike from time to time."
"Come on now, Sakura or we'll be late" he said while getting our things from his bike.
"I thought we still have time. Didn't you just say that earlier?"
"Let's just go, can we?" He said, while handing me my bag.
Why is he leaving mine? Tomoyo told me that normally when guys like a girl they usually treat them like a princess. I often see Matsuko carrying her bag, and as well as her shopping bags, which made me like him, even though I felt like he's taking Tomoyo away from me. So why is he like this to me? And what about that bike issue? Why is he acting like that?
"Sorry"
"For what?" I said in a rather angry tone.
"Sorry to make you walk. I promised your mom that your safety comes first, so I won't allow it to let you ride my bike without a helmet."
So, he's just trying to protect me. I shouldn't be angry about it then. What about my bag then, why didn't he take it and carried it with his. I thought he like me a lot to actually be my boyfriend, in some sort of way. I know we'll take this slow, but…
"Can I know what you're thinking? You're spacing out again"
"I'm just wondering why you didn't take my bag."
"Should I?" What kind of question is that? Of course!
"Well, yeah! Didn't you say you like me? Aren't you going to make me impress by carrying my bag or treating me like a princess for that matter?"
"I'm sorry. I don't know what you're expecting me to do but, I like to take things slow. Slow in the literal sense slow."
"What are you talking about? We are taking it slow, right?"
"Taking it slow meant befriending you only. I know I said I like you a lot but I'm not yet ready to commit myself to you. You see, I'm already committed to a promise."
"What do you mean?"
"You're the first girl that I ever liked. I know this is like, but love? I still don't know. If this feeling would go somewhere, I would like it to grow or die on its own. When I said I like you yesterday, I really meant it, but not in a way that you're thinking right now. I don't want to be your boyfriend; I would just like us to be friends. I know it's hard to understand but please, let me explain it to you properly."
How did it end up like this? How did this happen? I thought we're already a couple in some sort of a way, but why is he backing out?
"You're losing me; I'm not getting to where you're going at."
"I don't want be like my brothers, who date a lot, and regretted it afterwards. I like you a lot to even risk you getting hurt. If we're just friends, it'll be safer that way, I can't hurt you and we'll grow more individually."
"Why are you backing out all of a sudden?"
"I'm not backing out. I'm just saying that I don't want to rush things between us, because I know that we'll only hurt each other in the process."
"So you're simply telling me that you want to end this relationship before it even started, just for us not to get hurt? Isn't relationship supposed to be like that? Pain is always together with love. A friend of mine used to tell me, that you'll only know that you've fallen in-love if you get yourself hurt."
"Are you willing to hurt yourself and that other person, so that you can say that you're in-love?"
"It's worth the pain, to know that you can love someone aside from yourself and your family."
"Isn't love shown in care? You can know that you loved even without getting hurt by caring for someone deeply."
"Caring for someone isn't enough to say that you're in-love."
"So you'd rather hurt yourself to know this feeling so unexplainable inside you, just so you can say what it is, that you've fallen in-love. Is it all worth it, to be hurt and hurt someone in the process just for that? Well, okay. I get it now. I have to say I'm sorry, I can't be that man you're expecting me to be."
"Fine! Suit yourself, you're not my lost."
"Let's just talk about this later, Tomoyo's coming this way. I'm really not in the mood to talk about this anymore, see you after practice."
"I don't know if I even want to continue this talk, bye"
"Bye, be careful on your practice okay?"
I felt my world just came crumbling down at me. *Sigh* what is he thinking? I should've know yesterday was just a dream. He is really one of the biker kids. We weren't even able to formalize our relationship and here we are having our first fight. Now I understand Tomoyo more, when she came crying to me every time she and Jeremy got into a fight. It's too hard, too distracting and I don't know what to do. And what does he mean when he said he's not ready to commit to me, and that he's committed. I can't believe I let him play me like this *sigh* what a mess I'm in. And I can't turn back time to fix it. *Sigh*
-18:30, after cheer practice-
"Hey girl, tell me what's wrong"
"What makes you think something's wrong"
"You looked all gloomy and you spaced out a lot during practice. The captain's practically biting your head off."
"Its Syaoran, I think we're having our first fight since we started dating. I think."
"You two are dating, since when? Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"Since yesterday, but then all of a sudden he's different."
"What? How?"
"I went to their house yesterday to apologize for what I did, when his mom asks him to do their groceries and he made me come with him. He told me he like me and promised me to make things slow, but everything suddenly changed. He even said that he didn't tell me he like me so we can be a couple"
"Huh? But I thought you said that he said he liked you, so where is this coming from?"
"That's what I thought too. I just don't know what to think anymore. He said something like he's not ready to commit to me, that he only wants to befriend me and that he's already committed."
"And what else did he said?"
"He also said that he didn't want to hurt me, and that is why we shouldn't be in a relationship. What kind of a guy would say that he likes a girl but didn't want to be in a relationship?"
"A guy who's committed to someone else"
"What are you saying? He's playing fire by dating me?"
"Do you remember my first I-thought-my-boyfriend, remember that guy?"
"Yeah, you told me he backed out the moment you gave him your yes"
"According to your story, Syaoran sounds like him. That guy was already committed and believe it or not, he wants his first relationship to be his last, maybe Syaoran is also like that."
"Then what do I do?"
"If I were you, just bury those feelings and go on with your life, he's not worth your time girl."
"Then thank God she isn't you" someone from the background said, and when we looked back--
"Sorry Tomoyo, but I have to steal Sakura from you, I owe her an explanation" Syaoran!
"Hey! What do you think you're doing with my friend? Do you think she's like those girls you play with?"
"I don't play with girls. And I'm not playing your friend, I'm serious about her."
"Yeah right! If you're anywhere near serious, she wouldn't be in such a state right now. Tell me something, are you playing with fire just by dating with her?"
"I'm already committed. Somewhat like that I think, but I wouldn't use that term you used."
"Save your explanation pal, we're not going to hear it out. Let's go Kura"
"Tomoyo, please, can you just let us talk?"
"No! You're not going near my friend again!" She said while dragging me out of his sight. *Sigh*
-At home-
I feel like crying my heart out. Remembering what happened earlier like my brain stopped functioning normally and just keep on rewinding the scene over and over again. Tomoyo was right then, he is playing with fire by dating me. I just can't believe it; he played me just like that. He's already committed. How dare he say that he likes me? But I can't believe more how stupid I can get to even fall for that. And crying like this when we only started dating yesterday, or so I thought.
"Dear, are you alright?" My mom ask, as she walk in my room
"I'm alright mom, no need to worry about me"
"Dear, you're not alright. And I know just who you need to talk with to fix this. Syaoran's here, he needs to tell you something."
"Mom! You're supposed to be at my side, why'd you let him in?"
"Because he told me everything"
"Did he also tell you that he's already committed, and he's playing around?"
"It's not like that dear just hear him out, please?"
"Why?"
"You need to know why, and who."
"I need to tell you who I'm committed with, and everything that goes with it."
"I'll leave you two alone"
"If you permit, I'll wait for her in the living room."
"And what's wrong here in my room?"
"I just can't, I'm sorry"
"See he's a good kid, just let him explain, please for me?"
"Fine, I'll go." Why is my mom on his side, when she's supposed to be on my side?
-At the living room-
"If you have something to say, say it fast, I don't have all night!"
"I want to show you something" Handing me a necklace. It's a cross with a ring between it. I wonder how the ring got stuck there.
"It's a commitment ring. It's to remind us that we're committed with the Lord, our Savior Jesus Christ."
"And you're telling me this why?"
"I'm committed with the Lord. And being committed to Him means I can't date like those guys who play around. When I told you that I like you, I was really honest and wasn't thinking. I know I shouldn't have said that, especially when you don't know where I'm coming from. I'm sorry to mislead you like this. I really like you a lot, but I already made a promise, to be in a relationship if I'm ready to commit, and commit means marriage. I don't want to be like my brothers who date girls a lot, and make them cry and such; I like to be like my mom. Her first relationship was her last."
"Well then, if that's the case, let's end this right here right now; I'm not ready for marriage."
"So am I. That's why I'm telling you that I like to take things slow, that I only intend to befriend you. I'm sorry if I made you cry like this by my wrong move yesterday. I would just like to fix things by saying that I believe that there is someone out there for every one of us that is being readied and mold by Him, and when His time comes He will give us that person. If that would be you, whom I prayed it to be, I would be more than happy because I know in His time everything will fall into their right place. But, if it's not you, then I pray that my feelings for you to be gone that I may stop distracting God's plans for you."
"Why are you telling me this? What do you mean?"
"I meant that I can't date you, I can only befriend you like it's supposed to."
"Supposed to?"
"*Sigh* I really like to explain everything to you all at once but I know I can't so I'm lending you this, since you're a bookworm it'll be more easier for you to understand everything if you would read it"
I raised my brow looking at the book.
"I'll be going now, please promise me you'll read it"
"I don't like this kind of books"
"I know, but please? For you to understand me, please read it"
"I'll think about it, just go away!" I said pushing him to the door
"I'm leaving no need to push me away."
Hmm… Passion and Purity huh? What an interesting title, but not that catchy enough to get my attention. Besides, why do I have to read it anyways? He also won't know if I read it or not, so why bother? I won't read this, definitely not.
Dear Diary,
Today is one of those days when I wished I just didn't wake up. Yesterday was a beautiful dream, and I just had to wake up to find out that everything's a nightmare. Then there's this book that I can't stop thinking about. Why would he give me this book to read? And it looked so old, where did he get this, and why this book it particular anyways? Then mom here is backing him up instead of being behind me supporting me in every way that she can, which makes me intrigued, but I no longer asked her why? I was so upset with her, that I didn't even say good night to her as I always do. Looking back again to the book, for the nth time. I think I'll go read it. It might turn out good, I hope.
Who's Yelan? Is she related to Syaoran, or is she his ex? I'll have to ask him about her. Committed to Christ, he said! Ha! Who are you fooling? You're a gangster, and you tell me you're committed to Christ, what a joke!
hope you enjoyed it even though it wasn't as expected. All kinds of reviews are very much welcome might be criticisms, suggestions or comments.
thanks and God bless... see you all again after two-weeks I promised to upload two chapters for my comeback.