Without further ado…
River wakes up and looks around. She looks up and sees Mal sleeping.
She is in his bunk. She is on his lap and in his bed.
She is feeling so much better.
Running her hand down his arm she gently tries to lift his hand from her waist.
She knows Mal doesn't sleep well, much like her, but thinks he can benefit from some additional shut eye.
She lays his one hand, successfully dragged away from her waist, down beside her and starts on the other hand.
Biting on her lip she manages to lift his other hand and move it slowly, brushing against his body as she shifts.
River takes a breath silently and glances up at him to see if he is still sleeping.
She freezes and stares into his open and alert eyes.
"How long have you been awake?" she whispers.
Mal smiles slightly, "A little before you woke up. Decided ta wait fer ya to wake up 'stead of wakin' ya."
River blinks and looks away from him.
"She apologizes Captain," she murmurs and then tries to stand.
Mal moves his hands back to wrap around her waist and she meets his gaze with questioning eyes.
"You don't apologize. Don't."
River swallows and looks away, "She thinks it's time for her to go."
Mal moves quickly, rolling so River tilts off of his lap and catches her so she falls to the mattress gently. In one fluid motion Mal is leaning over her so she is stuck beneath him.
River lets herself detach from every emotion of her own and tries to lock back all the others as well.
She is surprised to realize that around Mal locking away her own emotions is the harder of the two.
She doesn't feel so much of other's emotions, she can feel her own clearly.
As she is wrapped in hiding herself Mal has the thought that River has never looked more beautiful.
She has a slightly shocked look on her face and it turns to pleasure and surprise before gradually fading to passive.
Her lips are parted slightly, her pale cheeks slightly rosy. Her raven hair is splayed out around her like a halo.
She looks like a fallen angel, and her bottom lip is slightly swollen from her nibbling, it gives the impression she had been kissed with force-daring Mal to fulfill the teasing call.
She is River. His River.
As Mal realizes the course of his thoughts he pushes them away.
River isn't his. Tentatively she can be his Little Albatross. She would never be his.
And yet their thoughts mirror each other's so closely at the moment.
Mal stares down at River as she gazes back up at him. He works to form the words but just shakes his head.
Finally he manages, "Where do ya think yer gonna go?"
River smiles, "Perceptive." No more than a whisper.
Mal narrows his eyes slightly and River licks her lips, he hopes she doesn't realize what an effort it is for him to stay focusing on her eyes.
"Sorry, she just did not believe you would understand that she," River pauses and frowns slightly as she molds the words in her mind.
Mal sees the slight crease between her brows that means she is thinking hard and as he resists kissing them away from her angel face he reinforces his mental walls.
"That I did not just mean leaving your bunk."
Mal tilts his head and speaks slowly, controlling his voice, "Where do ya think yer gonna go an' why?"
River meets his gaze with a slightly irked look, "I plan on leaving Serenity. And because I can is why."
Mal quirks a brow and River closes her eyes, tilting her head back slightly.
Mal catalogues the image into his memory.
"River," he whispers her name and River freezes at hearing him say it. "It ain't how I meant it an' ya know it. Now, explain to me where yer thinkin' about goin' and why. Please."
River lies still for a full minute and then slowly she purses her lips slightly and shifts beneath him, thinking. She wonders how long he'll wait to let her up. She wonders which of them is more stubborn.
Mal groans and River opens her eyes to meet his gaze. He is desperate to know her reasoning as to why she wants to leave.
She feels bad and moves her hand up, brushing it along his cheek.
Something sparks in River and she jerks away with wide eyes.
Mal feels it also.
River sees that Mal had felt It, whatever It had been. But she knows It had been all her own, a feeling that she felt because only she was feeling it.
Above her Mal's heart is pounding as he sees River's wide eyes and hopes to hell she hadn't made it past his mental walls.
"She needs to leave, not just the bunk, but she really need to leave that as well." River rushes it out all in one breath.
She swallows, her breath is quicker than normal, her heart is quicker than her breathing, "She needs to leave for reasons of preservation. Needs to preserve the happiness of the crew that is family and the ship that is home.
"She will be its downfall. She has to preserve it as final repayment. Leave as final debt.
"Owes them all so much, she can repay it by saving their happiness. Preserve it before she breaks it."
Mal hears her sadness and he reaches out slowly with a tender hand to brush his knuckles along her cheek.
Her eye flutter closed and she turns a little more into his touch.
In his mind he can't help thinking that this is his River. His fallen angel.