Disclaimer: I do not own the creation of Harry Potter or anything to do with it. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Disclaimer 2 (for this chapter): I own no content or ideas from Quidditch through the Ages. It all came from J.K. Rowling, or 'Kennilworthy Whisp', and the book benefits the charity Comic Relief.
Chapter Ten: Comfort within the Cupboard
...
Draco sat at the back of the Library, doodling nonsensically on his Charms homework. His mind was still reeling from the conversations he had had over the past two weeks. The one with Severus confused him to no end, whilst his discovery of Potter unnerved him exponentially. He turned to his book and began to read, attempting to distract his mind from the current dilemma in his brain; it was not until fifteen minutes later he had realised he was reading the same paragraph over and over again. Draco ground his teeth in annoyance, shut his Charms text book and began to mentally spider diagram the options in front of him. In one hand, he could continue his father's plan without consulting anyone and could continue this slow process of befriending Harry Potter. But no! Potter had said that he wouldn't befriend him, no matter what. There was something clearly wrong with him that his idiotic friends most certainly wouldn't be able to suss out. Nevertheless, how can he let down his father like that? He can't, Lucius wouldn't spare him, and no matter what Sev or anyone said about Albus Dumbledore, he would not be able to protect Draco forever. There were more important people to protect, like precious Potter.
But it sure would make things easier, turning to Dumbles. Draco Malfoy didn't bow down to anyone, nor did he particularly want a burning tattoo on his arm; he just wanted to be approved by his father. But his father wanted those things of him, and surely that's what would ensure the acceptance that Draco so clearly craved. But he wouldn't give in, Draco mused stubbornly, no one would see this coming, and he himself would be the most prised of all, the most important and most powerful.
"Draco you seem most disturbed this early evening. Is there anything bothering you at the moment?" Draco turned around immediately, wand at hand, only to find Dumbledore sitting a few meters away from him, in a cosy chair. "Mind if I join you?"
Draco put his wand down slowly, and jerked his head in agreement. The Headmaster stood up, stretched and walked over to the Slytherin, settling in a chair besides him. "Now we could make this a lot more comfortable." He flicked his wand and transfigured their chairs into a large purple lounger. "Ah- much better; I hope the colour isn't too offending Mr Malfoy." Draco stiffly moved to the end of the recliner, as far away as possible. Dumbledore smiled, blue eyes ever twinkling as he took a tin out of his pocket, "Lemon drop my dear boy? I do feel they are one of the most soothing sweets to put one's mind at ease," but at Draco's feverent silent shake of the head Dumbledore continued, "No? Very well, I shall keep them on the table. Now what is perturbing a first year NEWT student such as yourself?"
"There is nothing bothering me Sir," said Draco shortly, refraining from adding on 'except your presence'. How did the Headmaster know he was here, and what was he doing here in the first place?
"What is that tin doing there? SWEETS IN THE LIBRARY? OUT!" Madame Pince came swirling through the corner only to turn her thin, irate face to dumbstruck by the presence of the Headmaster.
"My apologies, Irma dear; it has been a while since I have ventured to our Library. Clearly I've been forgetful of the rules – please forgive me."
"No-no… It's perfectly alright-" bumbled the Librarian, clearly mortified. "I'll just be- sorry to disturb Headmaster!" She scurried away back to her corner of the Library, embarrassment written all over her face.
Dumbledore chuckled. "She wasn't all too pleased with me last time I came here. You may have heard of my aim to raise some money by publishing 'Quidditch through the Ages' for our dear muggle friends. Irma- well Madame Pince to you- was incredibly reluctant to let the book leave the Library, and moreover the Wizarding World. The threat she wrote in the book was… rather foreboding."
Draco remained silent with one eyebrow raised whilst Dumbledore babbled on about the Quidditch history book; he knew very well what he was talking about as he had been, in fact, the last person to take it out from the library until it was given away to the filthy muggles. He figured the old man was attempting to ease the tension about the atmosphere, but he was doing so very badly.
"Now Draco, where were we?" said Dumbledore seriously, yet there was still some amusement etched in his tone, "I happen to have a difference in opinion, dear boy; are you so very sure nothing is troubling you?"
"Yes I'm- Wait, what made you think something is bothering me?" replied Draco suspiciously.
"It is written all over your expression, if I am to be quite blunt with you, and it is clear that you are trying to come to a conclusion on whether to speak to me or not. How do I know? Your frequent glances at the staff table are a giveaway for starters."
Draco stood up sharply. "I don't really understand what you're implying Professor, but I assure you there is nothing I wish to discuss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe it is time for dinner." Draco grumpily left an ever-twinkling Dumbledore behind on the sofa.
Dumbledore beamed and mumbled to himself quietly. "Ah Draco, if that evasion is any indication at all, you will surely come to me eventually."
...
Severus Snape was incredibly irritated. Madame Pomfrey had finally replied back to Severus claiming that the Child Protection Conference could be held in a week's time. That meant it would have been three weeks since the abuse had come out, and that meant risking another week of Dumbledore's interference. Snape was pretty certain if he mentioned the name 'Harry Potter', that the Conference would be pushed very quickly to the next few days, but he also realised that this was not something anyone wanted publicised, especially the boy himself. But what did Severus care? He didn't care for the boy. It would merely be better if Potter was treated like any other case of abuse, and in return Dumbledore also wouldn't be able to complain in protest against the minor's authority response.
So a week it was. He supposed it would probably be better to inform Potter of the date as soon as possible, rather than leave it until the last minute. They were due for their second Occlumency that evening in approximately fifteen minutes, so Severus figured this was the perfect timing. The boy had hardly spoken up or behaved out of turn at all in any of his Potions lessons, except for when Severus gave the Gryffindor an 'unfair detention' to cover for the Occlumency lesson. Though Snape had noticed a dramatic change in Potter's attitude to learning in this mere week; every lesson Potter had arrived to, he had already written basic notes on the Potion or theory they were going to be studying. It was slightly unnerving to see Lily's old habit suddenly so apparent in the boy; it was equally annoying as well, for he didn't have many opportunities to insult the boy's intelligence anymore.
Potter had also been rather subdued in the Great Hall during meal times as well. It was obvious his two sidekicks, Weasley and Granger had formed a predictably short-lived petty relationship together, and this clearly overshadowed Potter's pacified personality. Severus' mind wandered and he briefly began to speculate who would form the Gryffindor quidditch team now that most the key players had left - perhaps it was the year for his Snakes to shine; the match against the two houses was coming up very soon in the next month…
Harry knocked on the Potions room door, and entered upon Snape's voice summoning him inside.
"Evening Sir," mumbled Harry tiredly, walking towards the Professor. Severus ignored his pupil's weary attitude; straight down to business was the only way forward as always.
"Potter leave your bag and robe in my office and follow me to my quarters. Seeing as you have already made your presence more than comfortable in my own personal environment less than a fortnight ago, I suppose it is less of an issue you entering once again. I assure you Potter, this does not happen often and it's merely due to the Headmaster's request you are getting this 'special treatment'. It must come with the Chosen One's name but if I find you disclose any information on the whereabouts of my quarters, the results will be… unpleasant."
Harry barely looked up at the sarcastic comments Snape was making. "Wherever you deem fit," said Harry simply, before putting his things down and following on.
When Snape settled down on the couch, Harry hesitated and looked at the Professor in confusion. "Wait – aren't we here for my Occlumency lesson?"
Severus resisted the notion to roll his eyes. "No Potter, I brought you here to join me in my quarters, sit on my couch and share special stories and chronicles created. Of course you are here for your Occlumency lesson you dimwit! I am merely undertaking a different approach and strategy to attempt to allow you to create barriers in your obtuse mind."
Harry nodded quickly and joined Snape on the couch, with a blush so prominent it could rival Ron's hair. It had literally been around two weeks since Snape had healed Harry on this sofa.
"Before we begin, how are your wounds?" asked Severus reluctantly through gritted teeth. Seeing as he was currently one of the only two teachers to know (moreover, the only one to apparently care), he considered it necessary to ask the question. If it was possible, Harry began blushing even deeper.
"They're fine Sir. Thanks, the salve you gave me really helped," replied Harry quickly.
"Very well; I shall confirm the date of your meeting with Madame Pomfrey before you leave." Harry blanched.
"Wait what? I'm having one?" said Harry suddenly, wide eyed. Post his encounter with Malfoy last week, the prospect of the Child Protection Conference hadn't once crossed his mind.
"Well of course you are; do you think I merely dish out assurances and not stick to them? You will not be returning there, and a Conference with our medi-witch will authorise that," replied Snape, one eyebrow raised.
"No of course not – I just assumed – No one really let me know-"
"Oh of course; perfect Potter is used to receiving special on the go updates and treatments. In this situation you will be treated like everyone else, and you will be grateful for it," said Snape irately. How dare the boy assume he would have been given first class celebrity treatment!
"No - that's not what I meant - I'm glad, really I don't want to be treated differently - I don't even want it!" rambled Harry, thinking he had dug himself an even deeper hole. He braced himself for the full blown Severus Snape tirade but it did not come.
"You haven't got a choice in this Mr Potter. You haven't reached of age yet, and therefore you are still a child in the eyes of wizarding law. You will be going through a school system with government approval instead of through direct government, to prevent the possibilities of any media catching eyes on this situation. Do you understand?" said Severus, somewhat calmly. He couldn't understand himself why he had been behaving so sarcastically with Potter in this time of stress.
"Yes Sir," replied Harry glumly, nevertheless slightly relieved that he did not hear a lecture, "But who's going to-Where will I go?"
Severus heard the mild involuntary tone of, 'Who will take me?' and internally cringed. Truth be told, Severus was very unsure who would keep the brat, but worst comes to worst; he could always just stay at Hogwarts for a couple of months, surely?
"You do not need to concern yourself with that right now; besides we are falling off topic. I am going to show you a new technique we can use to potentially protect your mind. Close your eyes and attempt to empty your emotions."
Harry did as he was told, but the ferment in his brain did not allow him to clear his mind in the slightest. He figured that the agitation was clear on his face as he heard Snape sigh gently.
"Potter, imagine standing in a dark room, no lights, no windows. A black floor, black walls, completely opaque so you cannot even see yourself. You are using all your outer senses to understand your surroundings, as you cannot hear nor observe anything."
"How can I stand upright if I cannot see anything – How will I be able to tell up from down?" questioned Harry reasonably. Severus attempted not to lose any enamel from gritting his teeth so hard. This was infuriating enough without the boy asking questions!
"Not everything requires higher brain function Potter. Your cerebellum – a part of your brain which is just below the largest part area called the cerebrum, is responsible for the involuntary, automatic coordination of your balance, posture and movement. It uses a certain balancing fluid in your ear amongst other things, to ensure you are upright and using the correct muscles to remain upright. Now, no more questions until the end! Are you picturing the dark room?"
"Yes," said Harry supressing a grin at the annoyed Professor's tone. He was much less intimidating when you could only hear his irate voice and not his glaring facial expression.
"This will essentially be a safe room in your mind. Every time you feel stressed, or an emotion threatens to take hold of you, come to this room. Eventually it will become second nature. If the Dark Lord attempts to penetrate your mind, you come here; there is nothing in this room, no information, no feelings. Do you recognise this room by any chance?"
Harry's facial expression dropped slightly. "Um, yeah I kinda recognise it. Well it's not exactly it - it's more like a bigger version of it."
"What is 'it' Potter?" the Gryffindor's English was going to be the death of him.
"Well it's my old cupboard; just a larger version of my cupboard Sir - Dark, practically empty, comforting... a-and safe." Harry wasn't sure if he could take any more mortification.
"I see," said Snape uncomfortably, "Continue to use that imagery until we can expand on it, and eventually form defences and replace the information the Dark Lord is looking for, with useless memories that are easy to conjure. This will take a long time however, and it is important you always resort back to the black room as much as possible."
"What sort of memories would I be able to conjure?" asked Harry eagerly, his earlier shame dissipating.
"What did I say about questions Potter? None until the end! Keep picturing the room- cupboard- until it's a wholly comfortable concept."
Harry grumbled but did what he was told. He could feel the shape of his enlarged cupboard: rectangular, no windows, no carpet, just black floorboards that didn't creak when he walked on them. He could sense the height of the room and how many steps wide the room was. Four, he counted, four width and seven for length. The darkness wasn't suffocating, but it made him feel nervous, as though someone could pounce on him at any time. But Snape said there shouldn't be anyone; it was meant to for him and him only… his comforting, safe room… in his mind, locked in… but where was the door…?
"Potter? POTTER?!"
Harry jerked from his musings, flinching abruptly and opening his eyes wide, as though a deer caught in headlights. He quickly shook his head and looked expectantly at the Professor.
Severus looked at him briefly with mild concern but masked away his face very quickly. It wouldn't do him well to show regret for frightening Potter like that.
"It's been over an hour and half Potter, you may return to your common room and we shall continue this next week."
Harry nodded, stood up and stretched. "Thanks Professor; could I um – get the date and timings for the thing for next week?"
"Eloquent as ever Mr Potter. It will be a week on Wednesday, at 6pm. Come along to the Hospital Wing and Madame Pomfrey will be there to discuss matters with you."
Harry nodded once again in thanks, and turned to leave the quarters. Something struck him as he was half way back to the Gryffindor common room. That was the first one on one conversation Harry had ever had with Professor Snape that had not ended in or consisted of constant insults, hatred or shouting. And across the week there had been no overly displays of ill-treatment in class; in fact, Harry had worked pretty well in Potions. Harry couldn't deny that there had been a change in Professor Snape, no matter how mild and inconspicuous. Perhaps in turn that would allow Harry to learn Occlumency more efficiently if Professor Snape and he could create mutual cooperation; and perhaps that was the whole point.
...
Chapter End
Thank you for the responses I received for the last chapter! Big choc chip cookies for Allie Danger, Mashkai30, Murgy31, vernieklein, Ann Jinn, TragediesPainfulKiss, Witchy-Raven, oldsie, Dumbledorenono, Discovery's Daughter and GuidingHand. I've been following Potions and Snitches for a while now, so when I received an email with my story being added to it, it most certainly made my day!
To those who haven't read 'Quidditch through the Ages', Dumbledore and Draco's brief chat will not make much sense; it's a great read and I thoroughly recommend! Even if it's to read those little graffiti marks across the book!
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Best wishes
Raiise