A/N: gah, -dies- sorry this took so long, I don't really have an excuse.

Song: I miss you – Darren Hayes

Sasuke POV

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for the others to arrive. We had arranged in the two minutes we spoke that Sai would go and collect the girl who I had found out was named Rukia before we left.

I looked down at my watch, 6:53. He was eight minutes late. That little bastard, of course he was going to be late. I could've killed him. It might've only been 8 minutes but I didn't want to wait a second for him.

Another 3 minutes passed and just as I was considering going to find him so we could get this fucking charade over with, he walked up with the girl in tow. Apparently there wasn't anything special about her, she just had an overly paranoid dad. As far as I was concerned, some 15 year old girl could make the trip herself... Well, it was a long way I guess, but thats hardly the point.

"Uchiha." Sai said stopping about three feet away from me. "This is Rukia, Rukia, this is Sasuke. The two of us will be accompanying you these next few days. Don't worry, you are in safe hands."

She smirked. "And cute hands."

"Don't swing that way." I said, turning away. "And neither does he, now lets go, its still early, we can get a good chunk out of the journey.

She looked slightly crest-fallen and began running up to walk next to me. "So whats life like being a ninja?"

I frowned at her and turned away. "What were you in Konoha for?"

She rolled her eyes at my lack of response. "Well, I was visiting a friend, its the first time my dad has let me come on my own."

"Yet he is still asking us to accompany you home?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes well, an attractive young girl like myself, anyone could try and do something to me."

I snorted disbelievingly. "Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that."

Naruto POV

I paced back and forth my bedroom. This shouldn't be that hard. I clicked my tongue thoughtfully. On one hand I had Sai, who I had been with for two years. He was always sweet, we hardly ever fought and he was always faithful. I suppose I loved him.

Then there was Sasuke. It wasn't really uncommon for him to be a bastard... we were always fighting over something and he kissed Gaara that time. But, I knew I loved him.

My thoughts were cut off when there was a knock at the door. I walked over and pulled it open and looked out to see Neji standing there. "Hey Neji, what can I do for you?"

"May I come in?" he asked.

I stood to the side and ushered him in. "Of course, why do you always have to be so polite for anyway?"

"I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes and led him through the house. "What can I do you for?"

He leaned against the wall and eyed me carefully. "How are you Naruto?"

I smiled weakly. "Living, how are you?"

He shrugged. "Same, listen, are you interested in training for a while?" I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I deserved a break. I had been fucking with my thoughts for ages, and this would help me clear my head a little. "Sure thing Neji"

Sasuke POV

"We can set up camp here for the night." Sai stopped in a small clearing and turned to smile at Rukia. "We traveled quite far today, you must be tired. We should go to sleep once we have eaten because we have an early start tomorrow."

She smiled warmly at him. "Sounds great, Sasuke, you should take a leaf out of his book and be more polite to people."

I narrowed my eyes at Sai who smirked at me. "She's right Uchiha, be nice."

I continued to glare at him, definitely not in the mood for his crap. "Back off, lets just get something to eat so we can go to bed."

I spent the next hour or so sitting by the fire, ignoring the conversation of the other two. When Rukia finally retired to her tent I offered to take the first night watch. Sai shrugged and walked into the other tent.

I picked up my favorite kunai and began mindlessly sharpening it. I had a katana now but I knew I would always harbor a soft spot for the throwing knives. I ran my finger gently over the blade, satisfied when a thin line of blood split on my skin. I nodded approvingly, wiping the blood off the blade onto my shirt and laying down on the grass in our clearing and staring up at the sky.

I had always found myself infinitely impressed at the idea of space. On one hand it seemed never ending, but on the other, I knew nothing could keep going, no beginning, no end. But at the same time there couldn't be an end of time and space right? There would still have to be something there.

I shook my head sharply. I could practically feel my brain melting. I sat up bringing my knees to my chest and I wrapped my arms around them. So much was going on in my head lately. Most of all it was this Naruto thing. One one hand it seemed he wanted me back and felt guilty about being with Sai, but on the other hand he was so un-responsive in my advances. I pushed him from my mind, Thinking about him want going to do me any good. I lent back on my elbows and sighed. "I love you naruto."

Naruto POV

I sneezed violently, waking myself up. I looked at my clock and found it was only 11 pm. As I contemplated why I had gone to sleep so early, it also crossed my mind that someone must be talking about me, and judging by the severity of my sneeze, it was something significant.

I rolled over, entwining myself in the blankets more. It was really quite a warm night considering how close to winter it was but I still found myself wanting the blankets. I guess I was lonely and they provided something of a comfort to me.

I smirked in spite of myself when it occurred to me how much Sasuke and Sai were probably at each others throats. Neji had informed me whilst I had been training with him that Tsunade had insisted they do the mission together so they could "learn to work as a team". It was kind of cruel I suppose, she knew how much they hated each other, but she always got some kind of sadistic pleasure out of these things.

I sighed, knowing that it was going to be troublesome to say in the least to try and get back to sleep. I don't know why I bother sometimes. Even when I do manage to sleep, I would always find myself waking at frequent intervals, unable to sleep soundly through the night.

I stretched out on the queen bed that I had all to myself. Eventually, I realised that my attempts were futile, and pulled myself out of bed and got into a long black coat. When I couldn't sleep, I always found that going for a walk helped.

Sai POV

I came out to relieve Sasuke of watch duty, he didn't say anything and neither did I. If I can avoid it I generally try and avoid discussion with my boyfriends ex who has made his intentions perfectly clear. So, given that, I felt that it wasn't even worth pretending I cared about whether he was alive or dead.

That said though, I suppose I don't really want him to die. I wish there could be some happy medium, and I could live in a world where he and Naruto were just friends and not interested in anything more, that he didn't look twice at any other guy. Its not that I didn't want him to know Sasuke. Despite the crap the Uchiha gave him, he seemed to really care about him. I just wanted him to decide that he no longer cared about Sasuke in more than a friend, or a rival way and that I was good enough for him.

So, I suppose it would seem logical for me to want him to just... well disappear. But when I imagine Naruto having to deal with him losing Sasuke all over again, then I cant handle it. If living with jealousy every day meant that it kept Naruto happy, then I guess I could live with that. I didn't have control over every aspect of his life and it was about time I came to accept that.

I sat on the grass and watched as the fire burnt out, eventually leaving me in darkness. There was sunlight peeking through the trees, but I decided I could leave the other two to sleep. I glanced over at Sasuke's tent and sighed. It killed me that I knew, no matter how much I loved naruto, no matter how much I gave to him, that I would always come second best to the Uchiha.

And he didn't even know it.

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A/N: Its kinda short, but I need to ease myself back into it. I know you probably hate me for taking forever, but maybe you can forgive me and review ne?