Ok, Again, I own not the Twilight. But I mess like Hell with these characters.

I'd like to give a shout out and thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Ya'll are beyond words. So I'm keeping this one short and sweet. Sorry this is out later than usual. My classes have started and my Professors are…interesting. Although my Spanish Profesora reminds me of Alice. She's even short like Alice and full of energy. And she kind of lives in her own world. So yeah, she's pretty awesome. So onwards, upwards, just never backwards, with Keep Away with the Cullens….

Bella's POV

We had been at this store for hours.

And I made sure Alice was aware of this.

"When are we leaving this store?" I asked as Alice threw another stack of clothes at me. She had closed down the shop and had been making fashion sparks fly all day.

"Boutique Bella, it's a Boutique. And we'll be leaving when were done. The sooner you're finished, the sooner we move on."

Alice pulled the curtain shut and left me to the clothes. As I pulled another ridiculous dress over my head I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I wasn't orange anymore, Thank God, but I still wasn't back to my normal albino-like whiteness.

"I want to see!" Alice sang from beyond the curtain. I stepped out and gave Alice an eyeful.

I had a blue dress on. A color Edward had mentioned once or twice he loved against my once pale skin. It cut in a deep V and hit me mid-thigh. There was nothing left to the imagination.

"Alice, I can't wear a bra with this." I stated quietly as she stood behind me; gazing at my reflection before us.

"I know." She said. She turned around and called out, "We'll take this one too!"

I shuddered in defeat.

"Ali-" I stopped mid word. Alice blanked out for a moment before breaking into a huge grin.

"Bella, I really don't like that color." She said mischievously.

"What color? The dress?" I asked.

"Nope. Your skin." She said and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the cash register.

Emmett's POV

We had been driving for hours before we finally reached Portland. It was early evening. I was sitting in back with Jasper planning our attack on Alice.

"I'm telling you, just run in there, distract the smurf and grab Bella. Three words Jazz. Run. Like. Hell."

"Em, one, my wife isn't a smurf. I'm sure she's removed the blue paint. Two, she may not be able to see our plan, but you know she'll have her own plan in place. Your plan may have worked on Edward," this received a low growl from the driver's seat, "But this is Alice. She's sneaky." There was a hint of pride in his voice.

"I know she's sneaky, but brute force will get Bella back the fastest. Just get us in there, I'll grab Bella-" I was interrupted as Edward turned off the freeway.

"I'll grab Bella, you help Jasper and Rose hold Alice down." Edward muttered. There was a strong determination rolling off him. "Damn force of nature…." I almost didn't hear him, it was so low.

"Edward, she'll be ready for us." Jasper threw his hands up in desperation. The military man in him was frustrated. This was the perfect chance for him plan an actual attack with unforeseen variables like humans, and we were squashing his dreams. Edward was set on the simplest attack to get Bella back. This had to be payback on Jasper.

"Jazz, give it up," my Rosalie sighed from the front seat. "The quicker we get Bella back, the quicker Edward will relax."

The Volvo turned into the hotel drive. Before us rose a ten story monstrosity. Of course Alice would pick the most expensive hotel in the state.

"They're here." Edward said quietly as he pulled up to the valet.

"How do you-" Jazz was cut off as Edward pointed towards the parking lot. My eyes followed his pale hands to a familiar vehicle.

It was red.

It was big.

It was the second prettiest thing I had seen in my life.

Edward chuckled as we got out.

My eyes were glued to my baby.

My Jeep.

Alice's POV

Bella came out of the changing room wrapped in a fluffy white robe. I had to suppress a giggle. Her face had been permanently red since we pulled up to the spa.

"Oh Bella, your going to have soo much fun. First their going to start you with a sea scrub to get all the brown off your skin. Then a wrap, a mud bath, a hot stone massa-"

"ALICE!" she yelled. I stopped talking, knowing she was frustrated. "Please. I know your having fun playing Bella Barbie, Wedding edition, but could we lay off the treatments?"

I looked at her before grinning.

Bella sighed and stared absently at the floor.

"Oh, and after the steam you'll get a mani/pedi. Oh!" I couldn't help but squeal.

"Fine Alice." She said quietly.

I led her down the hall.

"You'll thank me one day Bella, I swear. Its just, once Edward gets his hands on you, we can't do any fun stuff for the foreseeable future. And you need a Spa day before your wedding." Bella glanced at me and sighed. It was her way of relenting any struggle she was planning on.

"Fine. How long will all this take?" she asked.

"Only a couple of hours." I pushed her into a massage room. "Now you have fun, I've got vendors to call." I cast a glance at the masseuse. "Please don't let her near the phone. This is a wedding gift and she's not allowed to speak with the groom till the day off." The older red head smiled and nodded before instructing Bella to lay down on a steel table. "I'll be back Bella."

I shut the door behind me and raced out to the parking lot. I had to change hotels and quick. Bella would be stuck in the Spa for a good five hours.

As I sped towards the hotel I was thankful that I signed up for fraud protection. The credit card company called me as soon as Jasper figured out which one I was using. I knew he had found my emergency stash. I just never thought he'd use it against me. ME, his own wife.

I swerved into the hotel and threw the keys at the valet. Who knew where they were right now.

I can't see!

Whoever is helping them now will definitely be in trouble.

I made quick work of the check out desk and called for a car. I decided to start looking into the future around me, to see if anyone would brush by my beloved siblings.

Images flitted through my mind…the desk clerk was pregnant…the bellhop apparently enjoyed wearing women's knickers…Whoa, someone was getting lucky tonight…

"Ms. Belkin?" the valetsaid as my town car arrived.

"Thank you." I jumped in the back seat as the luggage was loaded in the trunk.

I was closing the door when it hit me.

A gust of wind carrying the scent of four familiar vampires. One of which I was very familiar with.

I instructed the driver to pull out to the exit and wait.

"My Jeep!" I heard Emmett squeal, yes squeal, five minutes later.

'Edward. Oh shoot! I got to get Bella out of here! I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!--'

I pushed a slip of paper to the driver, all the while blocking Edward from my thoughts. The driver sped off, heading south to our next destination. Just enough time for Bella to finish her treatments and me to plan our next move. Hmmm, I wonder if we could go to Paris for some shopping?

Edward's POV

I heard Alice and that damn Barbie song again.

My Bella was here. In this hotel.

Somewhere.

I jumped from the drivers seat and ran through the lobby. I could smell her floral scent. She had been in the lobby this morning.

My brothers and sister were behind me as I stalked my way towards the elevators. The third one held her scent the strongest. I gave a withering glance at my siblings.

"Every floor. You know her scent. I need her back." They commandeered the three other lifts as we headed up.

Every floor the doors opened. Every floor there was no trace of her.

I allowed the faint scent of Bella to waft around me in the enclosed box. It was polluted by the burn of cleaning chemicals and the scents of other passengers. But it was still her scent.

Finally at the top floor I smelled her. She had been here this morning. I exited the lift and continued down the end of the hall. Her floral goodness wafted off the door handle.

I glanced around. No cameras. No witnesses.

It didn't matter.

I barely applied pressure to the door before it cracked.

Why couldn't I hear her heart?

I was in the room in an instance, my siblings behind me.

'Whoa Edward. Good thing there's no cameras on this floor.

"Thank you for that astute observation, Jasper." I muttered as I searched the room.

Where was she?

Then I saw the note lying on the bed.

I quickly read it and let out a low oath.

"Edward?" Emmett asked.

"ALICE!" I roared.

Bella's POV

No more Ms. Nice girl.

I had been scrubbed till my skin was raw. I had been wrapped in a seaweed and saran wrap concoction that made me think, 'maybe this is how mummies felt during.' Finally I was given a moment alone before the hot stone massage.

Alice was nowhere to be found. And I still had three hours left.

The phone laid flush against the wall.

I picked it up, happy to hear a dial tone.

I had to be quick.

The other end rang three times before an answer.

"Hello?"

"Seth, shut up and listen. I need you to go along with me ok? Whatever I ask, are you in or out?" I rushed. I hadn't much time. I started slipping on the ridiculous blue dress that Alice had drug me here in.

"Bella?" he asked. He sounded groggy.

"SETH!" I yelled into the phone as I fumbled with my shoes.

"Sure, fine, whatever." He said.

"Thanks Seth," I muttered.

All I heard was a gently snore from the other end.

I rushed out the room and towards the front desk. The Spa was located in a Boutique hotel. Small, out of the way, yet had easy access to the highway. I walked up to the front desk.

After the desk clerk stopped staring I was able to talk since into her. It didn't take long to convince the desk clerk that I had an emergency and would like a refund for the unused treatments. Thank God Alice paid in cash.

Wow, three hundred bucks for a hot stone massage, a steam soak, and a mani/pedi. Alice was insane.

I ran out the door and hailed a taxi. They had just dropped off a young couple. I slid in the back seat.

"Where to Chica?" he asked.

"Train station, hurry." I muttered.

No more Bella Barbie.

I caught my reflection in the mirror.

My entire body was red, as if I were sunburned. My hair stood out at funny angles, and my dress was slightly wrinkled. I looked like a hooker ending her shift. Ugh. This was not good.

Esme's POV

The phone rang.

So naturally, I answered it.

I was expecting one of my children to call, asking for assistance in the Great Bella caper. I smiled as I noted the phone number was out of state. Hmmm, what has Alice done?

"Cullen residence." I answered politely.

"Esme?"

"Bella?" that was not the voice I expected to hear.

"Esme, I'm on the train heading to Seattle. I'll explain everything when I get there."

"Bella dear, who's with you."

I heard her chuckle. She was reminding me of Emmett when he had a plan.

"I busted out and I'm heading home. Can you pick me up? My train arrives at nine. And don't worry about Alice. Seth has that covered."

"Of course dear. Do you want me to call Edward and let him know?" I was grabbing the keys to Edward's Aston and heading out the door.

Bella was quiet for a moment. There was something off about her voice. She was up to something. "No. I'll call him when its time."

I started the car and paused for a moment. When its time?

"Bella, are you planning something against your siblings?" I asked as I sped down the drive.

I could hear the meek smile in her voice. "Yes?" she said as if it were a question.

"Would you like some help?" I asked as I turned on the highway and sped towards the city.

"I would be delighted." Bella paused. "Oh Esme, can we stop and grab some paintballs on the way home?"

I smiled. "Ok dear. I'll see you at nine."

I hung up the phone, wondering what Bella was planning.

Ok, I know its been forever, but PREASE forgive me. I've actually had to study for my Spanish class. So yeah, this is the latest chapter. Again, what do you think? I personally think Bella would want revenge against her siblings after everything they put her through. And if I was her, I would definitely get Esme in on the action. Maybe that's just me though. But Esme doesn't remind me of docile little mother. Loving yes, quiet yes, but she's got some spunk. So, ya'll know what to do.

To avoid any midnight visits from a cross dressing Aro and Mike, you shall review. Reviewing makes me happy, and gets you closer to playing in fun-and-frolic Vampire games. So review and you get to play, don't and you shall face a transvestite Aro….ugh. Last time that happened all I could mumble was 'Drag Queens stole my pants.' For a week straight. Till next times kiddies! Cheers!!