Cause you are, the only one
Cause you are, the only one

Two weeks later Blaine showed up at Dalton. It was the Warblers fifth time rehearsing 'Uptown Girl' since it had been suggested a few days before (they would choose a song and moments before they would finalize it, Sebastian would protest and they'd start their search for a new song). However, it was obvious this song wouldn't work for them; it wasn't a solo—Sebastian's idea to sing it, of course.

It had also been two weeks since Nick had kissed Sebastian. Not only would Nick remember that day for feeling oddly rejected, but he'd remember this one for feeling insanely jealous; Sebastian had showed up to practice the next day completely and utterly smitten with Blaine.

The thing was, Nick had no right to feel jealous. He had a boyfriend who he was seriously almost in love with and he found Sebastian to be oddly annoying, despite the fact that they were friends (if you could call what they had friendship). And also, Blaine was madly in love with Kurt, something he was thankful for. Though, he wasn't quite sure if he had the right to be thankful for it or if it was part of the jealousy he felt that made him glad Blaine wasn't single.

Nick had no idea that he had more-than-just-friends-feelings towards Sebastian, and it caused him internal grief—Nick wasn't supposed to be having feelings for anyone other than Jeff.

But yet, there it was. He did like Sebastian.

What was he supposed to do about it? It wasn't like he could just stop. But there was no way in hell that he could act upon it, nor did he want to. Nick was completely happy with Jeff and he knew just how horrible of a boyfriend Sebastian would be.

Nick needed to confide into somebody about this but he knew that he couldn't talk to anyone that went to Dalton. As he sat in his Math class, he considered texting Kurt, but something told him that with Sebastian's recent affection for Blaine meant that Kurt would be dealing with Sebastian in a whole different manor, and he wasn't ready to put himself in that drama.

He wanted badly to talk to Trent about it, but Trent was probably in love with Sebastian and had a blabber-mouth. Bless him, Nick mentally added. His friendship with Thad had grown stronger, but yet he was still unsure; everyone who went to Dalton could get this information and Nick's relationship with Jeff would be screwed.

And then he realized who would keep it a secret, if not for Nick's sake but Jeff's.

So that night, after he finished his homework and managed to avoid another college talk with his parents, he hid himself in his bathroom, sitting in the tub as he refreshed Facebook over and over again, waiting for a certain name to pop up in the chat area. And when it did he wasted no time to talk.

Nicholas Duval: I need your help.

For nearly two minutes he didn't get a response and he began to panic. But then he was rewarded his sweet relief.

Riley Sterling: Hello, future brother-in-law! What can I do for you?

Nicholas Duval: Something serious has happened and I'm afraid that if Jeff finds out, we'll be done for. So can I trust you not to say anything?

Riley Sterling: I don't know... Keeping secrets from my only brother? That's asking a lot. What do I get in return?

Nicholas Duval: I'll name our first kid after you.

Riley Sterling: Ooh, I like that. All right, Nicky, you've got a friend in me. Speak.

Nicholas Duval: There's this guy at school, and he and I have grown close over these past few months and recently I've found out I have feelings for him. But I care for Jeff and I don't want to be with anyone but him. What do I do?

Riley Sterling: Isn't it obvious?

Nicholas Duval: ...not really.

Riley Sterling: You care for Jeff more.

Nicholas Duval: ...um, that's it? Because if it is, I already knew that.

Riley Sterling: You are soo stupid. Let me put this into terms you can understand. You + Feelings x Jeff - Guy = MORE FEELINGS FOR JEFF.

Nicholas Duval: …

Riley Sterling: *sigh* Jeff Guy. Got it? Good.

Nicholas Duval: Aaaand I understand. Well, not really, but this is as far as I'm going to get. You won't say anything to Jeff?

Riley Sterling: Scouts Honor. Pinkie Swear. Mother's Grave. Yadda yadda. But dude, not cool. You should only have eyes for Jeff and Jeff only.

Nicholas Duval: We all slip up. You're telling me you've never had feelings for anyone while you were with someone else?

Riley Sterling: That's exactly what I'm telling you. But then again, I've only ever had like two boyfriends.

Nicholas Duval: One of which you're still with, congrats. Maybe there is hope for me.

Riley Sterling: Of course there is. Now I have to go before my dad goes total bat-shit crazy and decides to sale my laptop to a kid in Africa for like, an elephant.

Nicholas Duval: I'm not even going to tell you how racists that was.

Riley Sterling: Meh, we all have our slip ups.

Nicholas Duval: Night.

Riley Sterling: Tootles.

Riley signed out and Nick let out a breath. He'd hoped that talking it out would make things better but in reality it only made him feel worse: someone else knew how much of a dick he was. Great. Just what I was going for, though I probably deserve it.

He shut his laptop and climbed out of the bathroom and returned to his bedroom. After making sure his computer was charging, he collapsed on his bed and fell asleep, which hadn't been his intention—he had planned just to take a quick breather to collect himself.
He'd only been asleep for a good three hours when he was woken up by the sound of tapping. He pushed himself up, drool linking him from his mouth to his pillow. He wiped at his cheek and glanced to his right. His blinds were down so he couldn't see who was there, forcing him to get up to go see. Nick had a slight moment when he thought that he should be worried: what if it was a murderer on the other side? But he wasn't scared. He simply put his fingers between two closed shutters and pulled down. There was definitely a body outside, but it was too dark to see and he was peaking at a lower level of the blinds.

He pulled his fingers out and reached some place higher, finding himself laughing at who had been knocking on his window.

"Blaine?"

"Can I...um, can I come in?" he asked. It was obvious he was drunk.

Nick grabbed for the cord to his blinds and pulled it down, sending the shutters up to the top and revealing Blaine through his window. He unlocked the bottom and pushed it up, straining a bit. Nick rarely opened his window.

"How in the world did you climb a two story house drunk?" Nick questioned, still laughing.

"Like I normally do. I just, ya know, used the drain and lots of muscles and here I am."

Nick was careful to make sure Blaine entered his bedroom without falling off the edge or onto the floor. But Blaine gracefully made it in, a little breathless.

"So many questions," Nick began. "Where do I start?"

Blaine shrugged and sat where he stood, crossing his legs and shutting his eyes. "Can I get some water first?"

"Sure," Nick said. He went down to the kitchen and got Blaine a water bottle from the fridge. When he returned Blaine was standing up again, staring at his phone with a sad look.

"You okay?"

"Besides being a stupid drunk, probably," Blaine retorted, thanking Nick for the water as he grabbed it and took a couple of swigs.

"And why are you drunk?"

"It's a long story."

Nick simply took a seat on his bed and blinked at Blaine. Blaine sighed, rolled his eyes and set his water and phone on Nick's desk and took a seat on the computer chair.

"Remember how I came to Dalton? And remember how I had a little chat with Sebastian? Well, he and I have been chatting more than that and we went to the Lima Bean today and Kurt showed up and Sebastian was hitting on me and the next thing I knew he was inviting us to Scandal's, you know...that gay bar? Anyway, yeah, so, I said no but Kurt said yes and we had fake IDs and they worked and Sebastian bought my drinks and they were good, ya know? And I really love the buzzed feeling. But my buzz turned into a drunk...is that even a word? Well, it turned into a drunk and I was drunk and then Kurt and I were going home and he's just so beautiful and amazing and wonderful and I wanted to have sex with him. Well, it's been on both our minds a lot more lately and I figured why wait? But Kurt, he didn't want it...he didn't want me. And he yelled at me and I yelled at him and I just had to get away so I started to walk home, but instead I found myself walking to your house and here I am."

Blaine took a deep breath and then a chug of his water.

"Oh, wow," was the only thing Nick could think of to say.

"I want to call him, but it's like, one in the morning and he's probably getting ready for bed and I just don't want to make this worse but I want to make it better."

"Maybe once you're sober you can work this all out."

Blaine nodded. "I know. I'm just impatient."

"No, you're not. You're just being stupid."

Blaine nodded again and smiled sheepishly at Nick. "I miss you, buddy."

"Really?"

"Of course!"

"It hasn't really seemed like it. I mean, you never call me or text me or email me. I get that you're busy and everything, but even if I was busy I would've at least wrote on your Wall."

"It's just hard...I mean, I've been going to Dalton since basically the beginning of freshman year. We joined the Warblers together, remember? But then Kurt came along, and God...Kurt. He changed everything for me. And not in a bad way, but a good way. And he's shown me what it means to fight back. He's shown me that the grass truly is greener on the other side. But that other side is so...closed. Once you're there it's hard to get out and it's even harder to bring others in. Whenever I think about you guys, it hurts. I think about everything that we've been through. And when I do give in and talk, it's about 'the Warblers this' and 'why did you transfer that' and 'we have nothing in common anymore' and 'I would have invited you but I figured you'd be stuck in Lima'. It's just a bunch of bullshit but it's all true and I feel less guilty when I don't talk to you guys."

"But that's not fair. What about Jeff and I? Aren't we more than just old school buddies? Did we not help out your family when your mom had that surgery? Did we not go to California with you two summers ago? Have we not been there at all?"

Blaine's eyes fell to the ground and he frowned. "I talk to Jeff."

"Not me."

"That's because you're so friggin' pissed off at me! I hear it every time I mention you around Jeff or Trent or Kurt. Even Wes and David! They're in different states and they even know how mad at me you are. How am I supposed to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me?"

"We were best friends, Blaine. And you just left me. Why? Because of a boy. It's bullshit and yeah, I am pissed at you. But I'm even more pissed that you're not even making an effort."

Blaine glared at Nick with such a ferocity that Nick flinched. "You're not making one, either. This isn't just about me. Friends. It's a reciprocal word. I talk, you talk. That's how this goes. Teamwork. Partnership."

"I was preparing myself..." Nick managed to say.

"For what?"

"The end of our friendship. It happened with Kurt. He came, we became great friends. Then he left and we barely talked. We still barely talk. In a sense, we're not friends anymore—just two people who happen to text when there's nobody else to text."

"That's because you guys aren't trying. I want to try, Nick, but why should I struggle so hard to keep you in my life when you're trying so hard to push me out?"

Nick sighed and nodded. "For a drunk person, you're perception is rather clear."

"That's because I'm not drunk. I'm not sober, either, but I'm not drunk. Not anymore, at least."

"Look, I'm sorry that I've been such a douchebag. It's just that I'm tired of trying to do anything these days. I tried so hard to get Jeff to open up, and then to keep him from going back into his depression. And then to get him to admit his feelings. And then there's the council and Sebastian and home and everything. People expect so much of me. Hell, I expect more. But it's hard and I'm exhausted."

"I get that. In fact, I get that so much that I'm wondering if we're the same person. I have my dad and my mom and Cooper and Kurt and New Directions. Then there's schoolwork and actual work and friends and clubs and teams. And now I have Kurt's family and Jeff and you and how am I supposed to be able to have room for things when I'm already outside my comfort zone? It's hard."

"It is," Nick agreed.

"I don't want to lose you, Nick. You're important to me and like you said, we've been through so much and it would be so stupid of us to let that go just because our lives went in different directions," Blaine said with a smile. He yawned afterwards and Nick let out a laugh.

"I guess it's time for bed."

"Mind if I crash here?" Blaine asked. Without hearing the answer, he kicked off his shoes and removed his untied bow-tie and threw it to the ground along with his sweater-vest. He walked to the other side of Nick's bed and crawled beneath the covers.

"Sure," Nick finally said. "But don't throw up."

"I already threw up...in your mom's rose bushes."

Nick rolled his eyes and got under his covers, as well.

"Nick?" Blaine asked after a moment.

"Yeah?" Nick replied.

"Don't tell him, or anyone, but if we're being really honest, I left to be with Kurt. I've never loved anyone so much. And I don't think I ever will."

"I know."

It didn't take long before Blaine was fast asleep, snoring softly.

Nick closed his eyes, sleeping better for the first time then he had in many weeks.

Author's Note: Does anyone even read this anymore? For those who care, six more chapters left.

Next Time: Stuff that took me a long time to write for not much of a result.