Author's Note: Yay! I made it to the tenth chapter! I'm so proud of myself ;) Yes, 'the automail thing' will remain mysterious, 'cause I don't want to write something like that lol XD (I sound retarded, don't I? -sigh- Oh well, it was bound to show sooner or later…) Had an awesome birthday- my friends and family threw a surprise party, and I went to see a movie afterward. For some odd reason though, I couldn't stop thinking about this story. Of course, that may be because I watched my sister's FMA DVD before we left, and the movie was called 'Stranger Than Fiction'. Oh, the irony.

EDIT: Again, just fiddled with some stuff.

Stranger Than Fiction

Chapter Ten: A Secret Revealed, A Problem Solved

Lauren was caught somewhere between terror and apprehension. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Helen looked confused; her younger brother just looked angry.

Envy walked casually across the food court, around the many tables. All eyes were on him, but he didn't seem too worried. In fact, he held himself with the same infuriating confidence like he always did.

Ed smirked. "Well, didn't think this was your style. Normally, you wait until I'm injured or vulnerable."

Envy shrugged, smiling. "Well, I just happened to be in the neighbourhood. And I don't think you're exactly…invincible at the moment." He gaze slid to Lauren, who could only glare back at him with a mixture of anger, fear and amazement.

But Ed wasn't the sort to engage in small talk for very long. "What are you really here for?"

The homunculus grinned. "And I thought you'd never ask."

Ed found himself slammed against a glass window in a nearby store, choking as Envy held his throat in a vice-like grip. The shards of glass digging themselves into his back didn't help much either.

"I want answers. You were there; you know what that bitch was trying to do."

"What…are you talking about?" He replied hoarsely, trying to distract Envy long enough to think up a plan before he choked to death.

"Don't feel like talking? Maybe I should play a bit with your little girlfriend; she looks like she'd be willing to tell me everything…" Envy smirked.

"You leave her alone!" Before Envy even realized what was happening, Ed had clapped his hands together.

Here goes nothing!

With a flash of blue light, the bandages were shredded from his automail arm as Ed transmuted it into his signature blade, and he kicked the homunculus off of him.

Envy, however, was undeterred; smoothly changing his unexpected fall into a back flip and landing only a few feet away. "So…I see you can still use alchemy." He shrugged. "Oh well; doesn't really matter!"

He clapped his hands together, and fashioned a rough but impressive spear from the smooth stone floor in a flash of green light.

Ed's eyes widened. "You can use alchemy?"

Envy's grin was predatory. "Well, well, so the Fullmetal pipsqueak isn't as thick-headed as I thought."

"Ed!" Lauren cried, fighting against the surge of hysterical people trying to get as far away as they could from the fight.

"We've got to get out of here!" Jared breathed, grabbing Helen by the wrist. "C'mon Lauren!"

"But what about Ed, we just can't leave him!" Lauren replied desperately.

"He's dealt with Envy before; we'll only get in the way!"

"Edward Elric…Envy?" Helen whispered, in shock.

"I'm not going to leave him like that!" Lauren snapped.

"Lauren!" Jared growled. She gave him a look, as if daring him to try to drag her along with him.

"Whatever! It's your bloody skin, just don't get yourself killed!" he snarled, trying to pull Helen along with varying degrees of success.

"Nice to see you're still as social as ever." The green-haired homunculus commented, watching the scene amusedly.

Instead of replying, Ed braced himself and rushed headlong at Envy, who barely managed to block him.

"Oh, good job, you almost caught me off guard. I'll have to be more careful next time." He snickered.

"How the hell can you use alchemy?" Ed snarled.

The homunculus simply laughed, pushing him back and setting Ed off balance. "Lauren Mackenzie, right? Fifteen years old; turning sixteen the seventh of November. She has two siblings, a cat, two close friends and a pet state alchemist. She also has an intense dislike of insects."

Envy wielded his spear like a maniac, upsetting tables, overturning chairs and slashing at Ed viciously. Ed could do nothing but attempt to block his blows, until Envy pinned him against the wall once again.

"I know everything there is to know about your little posse. Who knew that in the future they'd not only have public schools, but make them so easy to break into?" He smirked.

"You set the school on fire, didn't you?" Ed croaked, hardly able to breathe.

"Not just there, either. The first one was an accident, but…well; your little friend should let her nicotine-addicted principle know that keeping a box of matches in plain sight like that isn't very advisable." He scolded, wagging a finger in front of Ed.

Lauren looked back towards the scene fretfully; Envy was saying something in a low voice to Ed, while the state alchemist appeared to be losing consciousness. She felt so useless, but what could she do? On impulse, she grabbed the nearest thing she could find -a can of Pepsi- and chucked it at Envy with all her might. The can missed its target by a mile, but the homunculus was sprayed with soda.

Angry, Envy let go of Ed, and the state alchemist fell to the ground. "That wasn't a very good idea." he hissed, moving closer. Lauren just stood there, frozen with fear and furiously trying to will her legs to move.

The sound of voices made them both pause to listen as they echoed ominously through the deserted mall.

Envy sighed. "Well, I suppose I don't have the time to kill you now. Oh well, shorty will probably be easier to break if I have a trump card to use against him." And with that, he casually walked away, jumping up and breaking one of the skylights in the roof before Lauren lost sight of him.

Immediately, she rushed to Ed's side. "Are you alright?! Ed, answer me!" She shook him.

He coughed and tried to say something, but all that came out was a raspy sigh.

"Don't talk." She said, blinking tears out of her eyes. "You'll be okay, alright? He's gone."

"He…burned down your school…"

"Ed, just don't talk. Come on, let's get you out the way so they don't truck you off and lock you up." She tried to help him stand, and he hissed in pain. Looking down, Lauren realized Envy's spear had left a sizable gash on his thigh.

The voices became louder, sounding as if they were getting closer. Panicked, Lauren managed to half help, half drag Ed into a nearby store, hiding behind the counter and praying that whoever it was wouldn't think to check the shops. It was the same closed shop Envy had shoved Ed into earlier, leaving a large opening where the glass had broken (which Lauren took full advantage of, considering the doors were probably locked).

"I though I saw someone over here…"

"Are you sure? The culprit is probably long gone by now."

"If only you kept your mouth shut, we might've caught the bastard! Just give me a minute; I'm going to check it out."

Lauren tensed as a beam of light sliced through the darkness, examining every corner and possible hiding place it could find. The sound of footsteps echoed in the empty store, making Lauren's heart beat faster and her breath quicken. Her grip on Ed tightened, and she tried her best to keep as far out of sight as possible.

The footsteps became louder and the flashlight beam became even brighter, focusing on something on the floor. Horrified, Lauren realized it was the pair of sunglasses she'd been meaning to give to Ed.

"Hey, let's get going. The suspect was spotted two minutes ago on Charleston Avenue." Lauren realized that the person speaking wasn't the same as before; the voice was too gruff.

"Look at what I found- a pair of sunglasses. Somebody's been here, and judging by the freshness of the blood on the floor, recently."

"Jim, give it a rest."

"But-"

"Listen, all we have to do is find the damn suspect. You can't go off chasing every 'mystery' that pops up. "

"Fine," There was a sigh. Lauren strained her ears, and as soon as she felt the footsteps were far enough away, she breathed a sigh of relief. The fifteen-year-old blearily realized that they'd ended up in some sort of clock shop. A quick look at the 'Closed for week – gone on vacation' sign told her all she needed to know. It wasn't a half-bad looking place, or…at least it had been before one of the store windows had been smashed to pieces.

Turning her attention to Ed, Lauren realized something.

Is…is he SLEEPING?!

Indeed he was. If Lauren had been in an anime, she would've sweat-dropped.

Well, nice to see nothing bothers him that much…

"He…burned down your school…"

Well, at least they knew who the culprit was, she reflected grimly. Tentatively, she tried to shake him awake.

"Ed…they're gone now. We have to get out here soon." Blearily, she realized the fight had probably not escaped the notice of the security cameras.

He didn't reply, and Lauren became slightly annoyed. She shook him harder.

"Ed! Wake up!"

Again, he was silent. Her annoyance quickly changed to worry. What if something happened to him? Maybe he had internal bleeding or something serious…

She fought her rising panic. He's probably just playing with me…

Taking a deep breath, she decided to try something different. "HEY, SHORTY! RUNT! PIPSQUEAK! BEAN!"

No response.

Wow…he must be really tired…

Lauren tried her best, but nothing she seemed to do would wake him up. Water, yelling, heavy objects…and yet he slept on.

"Ed?! Ed, wake up now! It isn't funny anymore!" She hissed, tears coming into her eyes. At a loss, she simply hugged him and started crying.

"…mmph? What're you doing?" He murmured hazily.

She pulled back wide-eyed, and then resumed hugging him; only much harder, squeezing the air out of his lungs. "Ed! You're okay!"

"Can't…breathe…" He wheezed.

Lauren stopped hugging him to death. "Oh…sorry…"

"It's okay," He coughed, and then managed a weak smile.

"We've got to get you out of here." Lauren bit her lip nervously, briefly glancing towards the broken store window. "If those cops come back and decide to take a better look around, I…I don't know how we'll get out of it."

"Then let's get out of here." He replied hoarsely, attempting to stand up but falling down with a yelp of pain. Lauren barely managed to catch him in time.

"Don't push yourself, Ed! With that huge gash on your leg, you aren't going anywhere fast." She pointed out urgently, gesturing towards the wound on his left thigh.

"It's nothing." He snapped, trying to pull away. His leg gave out, and he just managed to grab the counter.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Ed, no matter how many times you say ''Tis but a flesh wound!', I'm not going to believe you. That looks pretty nasty…he might as well as hamstrung you…"

"I'm fine!" He growled.

"No, you aren't! At least let me bandage the damn thing!" She snapped, catching him off guard. Taking advantage of his surprise, she grabbed his automail arm, ripped what little bandages still left on, pushed him into a nearby chair, rolled up his pant leg and went about cleaning him up.

"Hey, let go-"

"Shut up."

Ed grumbled, but decided that if her glare was any match to her temper he'd rather live a bit longer.

"Wish I had something to clean it properly with…oh well, if you lose another leg, it's none of my business-"

"Will you get off my back!"

There was the sound of voices. Scrambling, Lauren manage to pull Ed behind a door labeled 'Staff Only', ending up in a small, messy room with seemingly miles upon miles of clocks.

"Well, at least we'll know what time it is." Ed said sarcastically.

The voices came closer, and Lauren felt her heart rate quicken. Frantically, she tried her best to ram the back door open and surprising felt it yield, almost being blown off her feet by a sheet of rain. Grabbing Ed by the back off his shirt, she ran for all she was worth. Alleyways, trashcans, dumpsters, distant streets and more flew by, as the door now far behind her closed with a loud slam.

Ignoring Ed's protests, she continued to run until she was too exhausted to even move her leaden feet.

"I think…I think we lost them…" She gasped, leaning against a nearby building. The wet, harsh brick didn't exactly feel great, but she was too tired to care.

"Do you even know where we are?" Ed panted, also leaning right next to her.

Lauren felt her spirits plummet. "No."

Ed sighed. "Great, just great…"

"I guess that was a pretty stupid thing to do." She replied, with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Yeap, I'd say so." He snorted.

Lauren looked incredibly guilty. "I'm sorry, you're right. This is all my fault."

Ed sighed. "No, better lost then possibly arrested. I don't think I would've done any better in your position anyway…let's just try to find Helen and Jared."

"Hey, how long is it going to take you to notice us?"

Looking up, Lauren and Ed both realized there was a taxi stopped on the nearby boulevard. Jared was currently leaning out of the window, looking torn somewhere beyond amusement and vexation.

"Jared?" Lauren sputtered.

The preteen yawned. "Yeah, that's me. By the way, you guys have to go in the back seat with Helen."

"Why's Helen in the back seat?" Ed inquired.

"I bullied her into letting me in the front." Lauren and Ed sported the same exasperated looks, and then Lauren opened the door and got in.

"Ladies first," She said in response to Ed's peeved look.

"You're not a lady." He grumbled half-heartedly, before getting in also.

---

"So, you're Edward Elric?" Helen whispered. Lauren shifted uncomfortably, and glanced at the taxi driver (who had his eyes firmly fixed to the road, and apparently hadn't heard them).

Helen sighed. "Please, tell me the truth. I saw everything back there, including when you transmuted your arm."

"Yes." Ed answered reluctantly. Helen paused, obviously trying to get used to the idea.

"Can I see your automail again?" She asked seriously. "I honestly don't know If I'm dreaming or not…or something similar." Wordlessly (and making sure the driver couldn't see), he pulled up his left pant leg. There was a sharp intake of breath and her eyes widened, before she grinned, catching them off guard.

"This is so awesome. I'm friends with Edward Elric!"

"Aren't you even the least bit…surprised?!" Lauren sputtered.

"Oh, of course I am. But now that I think about it, it sure does explain why you look, sound and act the way you do. Plus, some of the things you said…well, I noticed something was up." She suddenly sobered. "I'm sorry about bringing up Nina."

Ed blinked, and then averted his eyes. "Don't worry; it's okay."

She sighed. "No, it's not okay, no matter whether or not I knew the truth. I promise I'll make it up to you somehow, in any way I can. Speaking of which…how did you get here in the first place?"

And so Lauren ended up launching into a whispered but long-winded explanation. By the time she had finished recapping the last few days (and the fight with Envy, which Helen had only partially seen), they had reached their destination and the taxi had driven away. While Ed and Jared occupied themselves with trying to remember the code to open the electric garage door, Helen and Lauren weighed their options.

Helen looked concerned. "Is there any way I could help? You seem to be a fairly responsible teenage girl Lauren, but taking care of another person is tough even when you have a stable income and other necessities. Shouldering something like this, especially considering the workload the average high school student has, is going to mean a lot of stress. You might have to choose between failing at academics or helping Ed. And that's on the assumption his stay is temporary."

Lauren sighed, running a hand through her bangs. "I know it's risky, but what else can I do? Ed knows next to nothing about this world."

"You said your parents forced Ed out of the guest room, and now he's sleeping in an old tree house nearby, right? Well, how about he stays with me for awhile? I have a job, I just moved into my former Great Aunt's place. It isn't that far away from here, and I could help bring him up to speed about modern day life while you're in school." Helen pointed out.

"Come on, Lauren! Are you going to stand out there and talk with Helen all day?" Jared called. They ascended the steps, still continuing their conversation.

"I think we should ask Ed about this," Lauren bit her lip. Though she knew she didn't have the resources or time to help Ed like Helen did, the thought of everything just…ending after all that had happened made her uncertain. She might never see Ed again.

"Ask me about what?" Ed asked, popping out from seemingly nowhere.

"Helen's offered to house you for a bit." Lauren explained.

"Only for a while, it would be more convenient. My Great Aunt just passed away, and I inherited her house. I haven't even set up my bed yet, but in one or two days you could come live with me." Helen elaborated.

Ed blinked. "Well, sure; if it's no trouble."

Lauren laughed. "Since when did the famed 'Fullmetal Alchemist' become worried about imposing on people?"

Ed gave her a sour look.

"Okay, it's settled. We'll start moving your stuff in tomorrow. Frankly, I'm surprised you managed to keep hidden this long." Helen admitted.

"I guess we're just lucky." Lauren replied wryly.

Helen snapped her fingers. "That reminds me, we still have quite a few mysteries to solve before then, the foremost being how Ed got here in the first place. You can't remember anything?"

"No, nothing." He sighed.

Helen nodded. "I have many theories what the cause of that may be, but I have a funny feeling it's because you're blocking memories."

Lauren linked. "What?"

"Sometimes, if a person experiences a really horrible, terrifying or bloody event, they'll sort of force themselves to forget it. Like voluntary amnesia or something."

Ed felt a chill run down his spine. "So you're saying I could have gone through something traumatic?"

Helen nodded again. "Exactly; I'm not certain though, the only way we'll know for sure is to go back to where it all began."

"The road I found him on, you mean." Lauren said gravely.

"Yeap- From there, we might get an idea as to how you got here; and possibly…why. But I have to look after you tomorrow Lauren, and since your Mom wouldn't approve of us sneaking of to check out some backwater road, it'll have to wait until Saturday. Do you remember where it was?"

Lauren shook her head. "No, but my older sister will."

"Good, ask her first thing you can, and then write it down."

"How can we trust you?" Lauren asked suddenly.

Helen smiled sadly. "Well, I don't think any of us really have much of a choice. Why can Ed do circleless alchemy here? Who was the 'bitch' Envy was referring to? Why is Ed's pocket watch missing? So many questions, so few answers; you need all the help you can get. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me the truth."

Ed blinked, and then narrowed his eyes. "Wait, what about my pocket watch?"

Helen laughed sheepishly. "Oh, sorry- I thought you noticed. Your pocket watch was missing, at least from what I remember from Halloween night."

Lauren, Jared and Ed blinked.

"…Wow. That's observant." Lauren said, a bit of admiration creeping into her tone.

"I don't think we could've kept it from you even if we'd tried." Jared managed; his eyes wide.

"Well, I should go and ask Monica now. Who knows when I may get another opportunity?" Lauren sighed, heading towards the stairs and praying her older sister was taking her routine afternoon nap.

Jared sighed, heading for the back door. "I'll go start moving some of Ed's stuff."

"Wait, I'll help you-" Ed began.

"Nah, I'll be okay. You stay here and talk to Helen; you guys probably have a lot of catching up to do." And with a slam off the back door, Ed and Helen were left to entertain themselves in the Mackenzie living room.

"So…" Ed hesitated, trying (for once) to pick his words carefully. If some one had told him a few days ago he'd end up living in a ramshackle tree house in another world, he would have rolled his eyes. If even a day ago someone had told him he'd end up seeing Helen again, he would've laughed. But it didn't seem so crazy or amusing now.

"I…" Why couldn't he seem to find the right words?

She grinned. "It's okay. You had a good reason for all this. Don't think you can get out of being my friend that easily."

He smiled. "Believe me, I don't want to."

---

It's come to my attention that for the duration of this fic, my reviewers have been (scarily) guessing exactly what I'm about to do. Am I that predictable? -sobs- Because of that, there will be no more hints as to what I am doing in the future, except that the story will get darker soon. What, you thought this story would just be about Ed adapting to modern-day life? No, there's much more…you guys (are there any guys out there? -puzzled-) should like it though. Oh, and a few last things: Lauren and Ed's relationship (platonic one so far, of course) will be tested in the future, and Helen, Jared, Leigh and possibly Chris will get more back story. And now, here is the short:

'FMA cliché #1: Shape-shifting Strife'

By Arktos (though you already knew that…)

"Hey Lauren, do you love me?" Ed pondered aloud.

It was a sunny fall afternoon, and Lauren and Ed were currently sitting in the Mackenzie kitchen, doing nothing. The author is starting to note a pattern…

"What are you talking about?" Lauren replied, blinking. "We already covered this in an earlier short!"

"I wasn't joking then, though. I love you."

She gave him a look, unable to fully register what he'd said. "Wha?"

Ed leaned closer, and the room suddenly felt very, very hot.

"You love me to, don't you?" Ed asked, smirking.

Lauren shrank back. "Well, I…umm…"

Just then, another Ed walked into the room. "Hey Lauren, I- What the hell?!"

Envy sighed, reverting to his usual form. "Damn."

THE END…BECAUSE TO GO ANY FURTHER IN THE SHORT WOULD MEAN I'D HAVE TO CHANGE THE RATING. WHO KNEW LAUREN COULD BE SO VIOLENT?

Is anybody but me sick of this cliché to death? It seems like in some stories whatever love interest/perceived love interest Ed has in the story, Envy decides to pull a prank for no real reason. People, Envy likes to toy with Ed, but c'mon…I see him as more likely to kidnap the girl and hold her for ransom if he gets her alone. Trying to kiss her? No.