A/N: Sleep deprived - again. Fuck. I've got an exam tomorrow, I didn't even study for it because of this freaking story. You happy? Now I'm gonna fail a module. Ugh.

Sorry, when I'm lacking sleep, I get cranky and my language gets BAAAAD. Once again: Sorry :).

Anyways: Thanks for the feedback! I'd like to think that you were all too damn lazy to leave a review, and I won't let the slight lack of reviews get to me. See? I'm learning here! 8) And I know that you all want Lisbon to meet Jane (you're not the only one :D) and I can tell you one thing: I'm on page 320 on the book, and it has 366 pages. So my guess? Next chapter will be the last!

And sorry (my 'personal coach', a good friend of mine, says that I have to stop apologizing but I can't help it) for all of for this chapter. I know that you are ALL Jisbon shippers, and that the whole Mashburn/Lisbon thing is bugging you as much as it is bugging me. But I had to get Lisbon somewhat distracted from PK. Yep, dunno why.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!

It started with a kiss

Chapter Ten

Hi everyone. Sorry for the mass text. My party might be postponed, but I'm saying might be. Will explain it at Brooke's. xW

This gave me mixed feelings. If the party was really going to be postponed, me and Walter had more time to get our feelings straight, and it wouldn't be so quick after my fortieth birthday.

But that would also mean that I had to put off the official confrontation with Walter. And despite how many things I put off, this was something that I just had to get over with. This was getting awkward, if it wasn't already, and I despise that.

My entire team and I went to Brooke's place after work, and we found the rest already sitting there. They all seemed quite interested in what big thing had happened for such a big party to be delayed. Walter wouldn't do that for just somebody, or something for that matter.

"What happened, Walter?" Summer asked as Walter exited the kitchen, and he sighed.

"Bigwig called me – his daughter has been in a car crash two days ago, and, understandably, he doesn't feel like partying at the moment."

"Is she okay?" Rosalind asked, and Walter shrugged.

"Define 'okay'. She's in a coma at the moment. Her husband demands that her father stays around, just in case something happens to her and she might not make it after all."

Everybody was shocked. Seems like I wasn't the only one who thought that Walter had just postponed the party because he couldn't handle the pressure or something.

I heard a few sighs, but of pure sympathy. This was understandable, and since Walter wanted all the big wheels to be there, he couldn't throw the party when one was missing.

Whatever we wanted: the party was only going to continue when that woman was out of her coma.

-YulianaHenderson-

Despite the initial disappointment of the change plans for Walter's party, we all still agreed on our monthly movie marathon. It was something that the ones that were already friends in High School came up with in our last year, and something we kept on doing. It was skipped sometimes, but we'd make sure to at least do it once in a year. And up until now, we'd done pretty well.

Except for the fact that when I entered Walter's mansion, I saw much to my dismay, that I appeared to be the only one there, Walter included.

Oh great. More awkwardness.

Walter smiled when he saw me. "Hey Reese! I'm glad you're here, I thought no one was going to come!"

He pulled me inside, and I was taken aback at his sudden enthusiasm. Had he changed his mind seemingly overnight? Couldn't be.

"Which movie this time?"
"Ted," Walter said, and held up a DVD box of a movie I had never heard of. But then again, I was living in solitude concerning films.

Half-way through the movie, I decided that I should really stop living in my cave and come out of it once.
And it really helped that Walter was laughing without reluctance. I smiled at his unadulterated glee. He even made cheeky comments at just the right moments. He was there, my old Walter, it just was going to take a long while until I got him back. I now knew I just had to have patience.

He suddenly patted my hand, and smiled. "I like this."
"What? This movie?"
"No, this – us. It's good."

I nodded. "It is."

Walter shifted and leant back into his expensive couch.

"You seem really different, Reese. Good different. Happy. Confident. That kind of stuff..." He paused, before he realized what he'd said. "Too sensitive?"
"No – thanks. That means a lot. You know, I do feel different. It's been a bit of a crazy month, but I know I've made some really important decisions and learned a lot about myself. Wow, I sound like an X Factor contestant."
"I, uh, would vote for you... but you're too good for that show."
What the hell was he getting at? "Thanks. I guess."
Walter was about to focus on the film again, but then sat up straight. "Thing is, I've been an idiot about, you know, that Saturday. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I should have noticed you before... I mean, who you're becoming, not who you are in my head. I think what you're doing with this whole quest thing is brilliant. It's just not you – but that's perfectly fine, you needed it. You needed a change of attitude to become happy. And you deserve to be happy, Reese. I do mean that." He looked at the film, and swallowed. "That's all I wanted to say."

Wow. Out of all the things I thought I'd be discussing with Walter when I found we were the only ones for our movie marathon, this one wasn't even on the list. Of course I had noticed Walter's small change of opinion about my quest, I wasn't stupid, but I hadn't thought that he would actually do something with it. Unsure of what to say, I pulled him in for a long bear hug. Walter immediately complied, and stroked my back.

And for the first time in what felt like years, I felt save in someone's arms.

Later that night, after finishing the third film, I realized it was too late to go home. It was still a one-hour-drive after all, and I was too tired to drive anyways.

And that's when having a millionaire as friend is really helpful.

"You don't mind me sleeping over here, do you?" I asked, as I collected the few bowls from the table and brought them to the kitchen. Walter shook his head.
"No, by all means, go ahead. It's not like I want you to get in a car crash or something because you're too tired to pay attention. To be honest, I might join you."

His eyes grew wide as he realized what he'd just said. "I mean, the sleeping! Not the, uh, uh..."
I chuckled. Great digging, Walter. Next stop Australia. "You're going red."
Walter averted his eyes. "Am not."
"Don't worry. I didn't take it as an invitation or something." The rush of amusement felt good, even though it was a mask hastily pinned over my own embarrassment. "Anyway, it's a single, so there's only room for me..."
Walter's blush intensified, if that was even possible. "Reese! I can't believe you just said that!"
"Oh, hush! We have to laugh about it – and, let's face it, I'm the only one who has the most right be upset about it."

"But you were only saying how you felt. That's nothing to reproach yourself for."

"I'm not reproaching myself for anything. I'm just trying to get back to what we were before I declared my undying love for you."

"Oh."
"Yes, oh. So cut me some slack and let me joke about it. It was my mistake-"
"What if it wasn't a mistake?"
I glared at him. "It was."
"But you seemed so sure about it-"
"Okay, stop! Can't you take a joke anymore? This... it's not fair," I said, as I picked up my phone. "I thought you wanted to get back to what we were. And here I am, trying to do just that and now you are restraining me from doing so. I'm gonna call a cab, I'm leaving my car here so I can pick it up tomorrow."

Walter sighed, and as our eyes crossed, I suddenly saw a vulnerability in his eyes that I had never seen – as if one word from me would shatter him into a million pieces.
"I'm sorry. I just need some sleep."

And with that, I left his house, and I realized I was once again running away from my problems.

-YulianaHenderson-

Three days before the big Mashburn party, and in the big mansion where it all was going to take place, Walter was almost hyperventilating, and he looked like a panicking homosexual wedding planner. Nothing went as he'd wanted it to. The decorators had canceled a few hours ago and Walter hadn't known what to do, so he'd called Brooke first. Who, of course, couldn't resist helping out a good friend. She'd then called all of us and a few other people who didn't have a life and asked them to come and help.

Brooke rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm.
"Okay, people, attention please!" she exclaimed, and the group turned to her. "The plan for today is as following: we will all decorate the hall, but careful, some things are fragile, so Rigsby, you get the ribbons that are very difficult to destroy, and Rosalind will play the piano so we won't get bored. The rest will set the tables. The cardboard boxes with plates, cutlery, etc. are against the wall. Let's get started, people!"

Everybody almost ran over to the boxes, opening them with a force that made Brooke wince.
"Careful!" she exclaimed, before groaning and turning towards Walter again.
"It's gonna be alright, trust me."

"That's supposed to reassure me?"

Brooke slapped his arm and turned to the tables to check if the tables were in the right place. Walter smiled despite his nerves, and walked over to me and Van Pelt, waiting for the rest of the people to get their stuff so that we wouldn't be crushed by their enthusiasm.

Van Pelt smiled at me, and left to help as well. I looked at Walter, who just grinned. Apparently, the disaster at our movie marathon was forgotten, and that took a while for me to sink in. I would've thought that Walter was going to ignore me again, and that all our attempts at being friends were thrown in the wind, but it seemed I was wrong. Walter never failed to surprise me.

"Thanks again for helping, kid," Walter said, his characteristic grin flashing away on his pretty face.

I rolled my eyes. "You're welcome."

I took in a deep breath and turned around. "I'd better do something useful now, I'm missing out on paperwork time now."

Walter laughed. "Always the fine agent, huh?"

"Of course. It comes with the job."

Walter nodded. "I know that."

Van Pelt came running up to me, a cord of little black lights in the form of what seemed like flowers around her neck.

"Would you look at this, Lisbon? This is beautiful!" she exclaimed, and I chuckled.

"And remind me how old you are, Grace-"

"If I'm childish because I love these lights, then I'm four years old," Van Pelt cut me off, and Walter chuckled behind me.

"Give them to me before you strangle yourself," I ordered, and Van Pelt pouted before handing the lights over to me.

But as soon as I tried to pin them to the ceiling and walls, I understood why Van Pelt had firstly chosen the task: I was way too small to reach them, even when standing on the top step of the ladder.

"Need help up there?" Walter asked, and I looked down, a small blush on my face. Damn my height.

"Sure," I said, and before I could step off the ladder, Walter climbed on it and I froze. This thing did not have enough space for both of us. But Walter proved that I was wrong in my judgment, and soon, he was standing on the step underneath the top step, and his body brushed mine. He took over the lights from me and reached out to pin them against the wall.

I blushed even more at the proximity of Walter's body, and averted my eyes to see Brooke and Summer staring at us. My face almost exploded with heat.

When Walter pulled back and looked at me, our faces were inches apart.

"Stop," I whispered, and Walter frowned.
"You don't like these lights?"

"No, this," I replied, and motioned to our nearness. Walter swallowed.

"I... I'm sorry, Teresa," Walter murmured, and stepped away. It felt as if I could breathe again.

I then chose something that I could do with my length, and I saw from the corner of my eyes that Walter was walking around the hall, inspecting what everybody was doing.

I was just helping with setting the tables when I noticed Walter was watching me. And not just watching – when he shook his head in exasperation for the fifth time, it was the last straw. While I didn't understand how he could be so touchy all of a sudden, I didn't like being ordered around and much less being criticized while I'm only trying to help.

"Maybe I should leave this to you, seeing as I'm obviously causing more problems by helping," I snapped, and almost slammed the black and white plates on the table before deciding that that was only going to make matters worse.

Walter's head jerked around, and everybody grew silent. "What?"

"I don't see the point of me working my butt of for your freaking party, while you're just standing there and are tutting and sighing at everything I do."

"I wasn't aware I wasn't."

"Like hell you weren't. Honestly, Walter, I don't know what's worse: you blowing hot and cold or you ignoring me completely."

Walter's eyes shot open and I saw that there was genuine anger in them – an emotion you rarely saw on Walter Mashburn. "That's rich coming from you."

"Pardon me?"
"You heard."

I took big, determined steps towards Walter, snatching his wrist and pulling him with me onto the walk-way.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped, and Walter glared at me, before running a hand through his hair and taking in a deep breath.

"I don't get it, okay? I'm sorry, but I just don't get it."

Oh, if he wanted a fight, he could certainly get one. "Please, enlighten me Walter, because you're not making any-"

"I don't understand how you could put so much effort in finding one guy that you hardly know while the one you're looking for is right in front of you."

The world around me came to a halt – not that there was anything that moved. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "Sorry?"

"This guy you think you're in love with doesn't exist. Only up here," he pointed to his temple. "You're asking him to be someone he isn't. He can't be what you want him to be because he doesn't know who you are. This isn't what you need, Teresa, and I know it." His voice softened. "Deep down, you know who you need. I think you've known it all along."

I really had no idea what he was talking about. He had seemed to supporting at our movie marathon – then why did he disapprove it now?

"Don't you dare say that now, not after everything we've discussed. You have no right-"
"I have every right!" he shouted back. "Why are you still looking, Teresa? Why don't you admit how you feel?"
"I am saying how I feel! The difference is, Walter, the man I'm looking for sees me for who I am – and yes, it was only for a second, but in that time I saw all I needed to know. That's why I'm still searching."

"But he doesn't deserve you like..." Walter's voice wandered, and I saw a bit of anger dissolving due to him not knowing how to finish that sentence.

"Like who, Walter?"
"Like me!"

I froze, but then found words again. "This is ridiculous! I gave the opportunity to be with me but you didn't want it-"

"Well, I do now!"

And there was the moment that all my own anger dripped away, leaving behind confusion. It couldn't be, right? He had so pointedly rejected me that Saturday, and the days after, so why had Walter suddenly changed his mind?

And what was I supposed to say? Did he think I would fall into his arms after such a rejection?

"I don't know what to say to that."

Walter's shoulders dropped. "Don't say anything now. Just think about it, okay? I know this is all a mess now, but after what happened on that ladder... I know you felt the same thing I did. I'm not asking you to already have a decision ready, but I want you to think about it. Will you think about it?"

I stared at him, awash with feelings I didn't know I would feel again around Walter. Walter nervously shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, and looked at the floor.

I nodded. "I will."

-YulianaHenderson-

Even though it had been my dad's pet saying, 'be careful what you wish for' was now all of a sudden eerily accurate.
Of course, I had hoped that Walter would feel the same way about me when I told him almost a month ago. You don't spend three years secretly admiring a guy for him to reject you when you tell him the truth. I'd even had dreams that he would just accept me, and love me as I loved him.

But after being avoided, ignored, almost hated at times, by Walter, was there still enough of that 'love' left for a beautiful relationship?

And what about my feelings for PK? I couldn't just ditch that search, now could I? There were still three days left of the month I was dedicating to finding him, and now that the end of the tunnel came in sight, and the gleaming prize came closer and closer, I couldn't just give that up. I had waited for him, longing to see him and be in his arms again.

And anyways, PK hadn't needed convincing evidence to see the real me, to fall for me, he had already made up his mind when our eyes crossed for the first time. Walter, on the other hand, had needed a month to find out about his feelings. And though it could be worse, he could've needed a whole freaking year, it still felt as though it was too late. PK had stolen my heart, where Walter had first. After all, I had given him enough time to make up his mind and tell me what he wanted. Walter couldn't demand that I forgot about PK because he suddenly saw the true extent of his feelings.

But I still had to choose between them. Because while it seemed as though the decision was easy, I knew it was going to alter my future.

Whoever I chose, he had to be right one.

A/N: Wow, I've got no freaking idea who she's going to choose... No, I know it, no surprise there.

Sorry, btw, for any typos. Yes, I'm not a Native Speaker, and yes, I'm sleep deprived, and yes, I keep being distracted by my boring and annoying family, and yes, I'm fucking nervous for this night's episode, and yes, I should stop this. But I checked it once or twice, some parts more than others, but it can still be possible that there are typos, or sayings mixed up or whatever. Bear with me.

Leave a REVIEW, please! A review to me is like tea is to Jane: addicting and it makes me happy! See you all next week when I'm finishing this story! (I sincerely hope so, but I'm gonna stick to my promises for once, even if the chapter is gonna be GIGANTIC :D)