I caught my breath, and held onto the edge of my dresser with a death grip, swaying as the dizziness overtook me.
Deep breaths, I instructed. This was no time to lose my head. I needed clear thought.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I released the dresser, noticing how it had bit into my palm, leaving red welts. But it hadn't broken the skin, for which I was thankful.
Approaching a vampire with an open wound sounded incredibly stupid. And I wasn't stupid. Not anymore. I had learned my lessons, worked for my experience.
First one step, then another, down the stairs of my childhood home. Through the kitchen, living room, and finally reaching the door.
That was when my resolve faltered. I couldn't do it. I couldn't open that door and face him, knowing what I had put both of us through.
Crumpling into a ball, I got as close as physically possible to the door, knowing he was sitting on the porch by now, waiting for me to get the courage to join him on
the other side. I wrapped my arms around my knees, and shook a bit. I hadn't seen Damon since my mother died.
How sick was that? The last time I saw the love of my life was at a funeral.
/The love of my life?/ I questioned myself. It's true, I couldn't deny it. There was a time when I truly believed myself to be in love with Damon. But then I had grown up a bit,
and realized the truth of it. It wasn't Damon I loved, it was the idea of him. I loved that someone loved me. That someone who wasn't Vicki gave a damn. How was I supposed
to face him now, the man who must love me, at least a little, when I wasn't sure at all of how I felt about him?
I was attracted to him, I was sure of that. And I genuinely liked him, counting him among one of the few friends I've ever had. And somehow, that held a lot more weight
in my mind than ho good he looked without a shirt. He was funny, and witty, and completely clueless when it came to helping people (but he still tried). He gave me
alcohol when I was underage, not because he wanted me boozed up and complacent, but because he thought it would help me cope. He recognized that him having
compulsion put me at a disadvantage, which terrified me, and so he evened the playing field, supplying me with a shield that even he couldn't break through. He
gave me jewelry to apologize, because he wasn't any good at finding the words. He held me when I wanted to die…
…The afternoon light turned the autumn trees golden, making the cemetery much more beautiful than it should look. I had left Mystic falls barely six months ago.
I was weak, and couldn't deal with pressure. I knew it was the right decision, but that didn't make things any easier. And now she was dead.
The mother who was never really there. Who had hired nannies to live with us until I was twelve, and deemed old enough to look after myself. She had never
met Vicki, and therefore couldn't notice her absence. Vicki. The pain still shot through my chest like lightening at the memory of my vivacious friend. There
was no saving her, no matter how hard I had tried that night in the woods. The night I met Damon.
It was as if my thoughts had summoned him. I looked up from her gravestone, and there he was. Wordlessly, it seemed as if he absorbed everything I needed to say.
And then he was stepping forward, and wrapping me up in his arms, and I cried. We stayed there for a few hours. He wanted to take me home, or to his house, but
I declined, stating that I had a plane to catch. He drove me to the airport, and I left without saying good bye.
The creaking of the porch-swing outside brought me out of my thoughts, and I noticed that the light had changed. He was still here.
In that moment, I decided that none of it mattered. Maybe I hadn't loved Damon then, but I was ready to now. He deserved better than that.
I got to my feet, shoes scuffing on the floor. The creaking stopped. I put my hand on the cold door knob, and it felt like my heart was going to stop.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. And then I jumped. And never looked back.
Seven hundred and seventy six (776) words. Wait for it. Epilogue to come. If anyone's still around to read it.
I don't own The Vampire Diaries.