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Shepard sat in the living room near the window reading a book under candlelight. James went out for a drink, he wanted her to come with him, but she said she wanted some time to relax. And think. She stared at the pages of the book, but she never really read the words. Her mind always drifted off to this morning when James said he loved her. Sure she felt the same for him, but something wouldn't let her tell him. She guessed she knew what, and again she shook her head to banish the thought. She let out a heavy sigh and tried to focus on the words written in the book. Suddenly a loud banging on her door startled her. Taking her pistol she stood up and went to the door, but didn't say a word. Then another banging, and another. Suddenly someone spoke.
"Shepard!" Then another banging. She thought her mind played crazy. She thought she started hearing things, but again the voice echoed in her ears. "Shepard! I know you're in there! Let me in!" She froze, the pistol falling forgotten on the floor. Frightened, she went to the entry door to look through the peek hole and what she saw literally left her breathless. The face of Kaidan was visible, but something was different. That wasn't the man she knew.
"Shepard, I'm not leaving until you open the door and tell me why you didn't want to marry me!" Tears already fell down her face as she took two backwards steps.
"Leave Kaidan! Leave me alone!"
"Shepard, open the door or I swear I'll break it open!" He banged, again and again, she silently praying that James returns and stops him. But Kaidan just kept banging on the door.
"Leave!"
"Tell me the reason and I will leave!" Crying, she went to the door and yanked it open. Kaidan strode past her and went straight to the living room.
"You can't be here! James will-"
"You really think I care if he arrives here?!" He yelled back. Shepard was never so afraid of him like in this very moment. Then he stopped right in her face and yelled again, his breath smelling like alcohol. "I wanna know why you didn't marry me!"
"Hey! What the fuck you're doing here?!" It was James yelling from the entrance. Shepard let out a sigh of relief, but then Kaidan pushed her aside. James walked to him as well until both men stood face to face.
"I came here to seek out some answers! I think I deserve that much." Kaidan's voice trailed off as he never broke eye contact with James. Shepard was between them, keeping them in place as best she could.
"She doesn't want to talk! Leave her alone!" Kaidan let out a bitter, drunken laughter.
"Don't you want to know the reason why she left me?! Apparently, she loved me you know! Maybe she'll do the same to you!" James advanced on Kaidan but Shepard stopped him.
"James!" She yelled.
"Maybe she'll break your heart as well when you ask her to marry you!" That was it for James. He roughly pushed Shepard aside and advanced on Kaidan. His fist connected with his cheek, Kaidan stumbled backwards but quickly hit him back. Shepard watched crying as the men she loved fought each other.
"Stop it!" She yelled, hoping to stop the fight. But they just continued and broke their coffee table as James landed on Kaidan, hitting his ribs and face again and again. "STOP IT!" She yelled more desperately, but the men wouldn't head her. James lifted Kaidan by holding him by his collar. He wasn't nearly beaten up as Kaidan. He couldn't defend himself because of his drunken state. James slammed Kaidan on the wall then hit his ribs, again and again. Shepard couldn't watch this any longer. She took the gun and pulled the trigger. Both James and Kaidan froze and turned their heads towards her. She was crying aloud, her entire body visibly shaking as she pointed the pistol at the ceiling. She let the pistol fall to the floor and cried out loud, and both men's heart broke.
"Lola..."
"Shepard..." Kaidan whispered, her hands hugging her waist. She slowly walked backwards towards the entry door, never looking away from the sight of James holding Kaidan by his collar and pinning him against the wall. James panicked and let Kaidan go. Fear was written on his face as he slowly approached her.
"Lola-"
"I hate you..." She reached the entrance and stopped, still looking at them. James stared wide eyed at her where Kaidan watched her with sadness written on his face. She sobbed aloud, then shook her head, now looking at both of them. "I HATE YOU!" Then she turned and ran away. James's heart broke in half.
"LOLA!" He ran towards the entrance then stopped as he watched her run away. "LOLA!" He yelled before he turned back to Kaidan. "You see what you've done!" Then he punched his face again, but Kaidan didn't even try to defend himself. He fell to the ground, his head throbbing from the pain. But nothing pained him so as his heart. James grabbed his collar and shook him. "You ruined my life! You piece of shit! You fuck! Argh!" He yelled in his face, but James let him go. He fell on his couch and ran his hands through his short hair. All beaten up and drunk Kaidan somehow stood up and stumbled towards the door. James was crying now, but Kaidan cried as well as he made his way out of the building. He didn't want to ruin anything, he just wanted to know why she didn't accept him. But it seems he asks too much. Kaidan made his way to his motel. Tomorrow, he would go to his new home and try to move on. But the damage he has done...that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
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Crying, she exited the cab and almost ran to the building. Once she reached the second floor and her goal, she knocked politely on the door. Moments later Liara opened the door and immediately hugged Shepard.
"Shepard, what happened?" Both entered the apartment. Shepard went to the living room as Liara went to the kitchen to make her some tea. When she came back she sat down next to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Shepard took a sip from her tea and cradled her face in her palms then.
"Everything's gone to hell Liara. I'm done with James." She choked the words out, her heart breaking because she said that. Then she cried.
"Shepard...what happened?" Shepard took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she could answer.
"I was at home reading a book. James went out to have a beer." She silenced for a while, but Liara was none the wiser. She kept silent and waited for her to calm down and continue. "Suddenly someone banged on the door and demanded that I get it open."
"Who was it?" Liara asked curious. Shepard just looked at the floor, her heart heavy.
"It was Kaidan."
"I thought he left the city?" Shepard's tears fell again.
"Seems he's still waiting for his furniture to be transported. Anyway when he came in, James arrived moments later. And everything escalated. James advanced on Kaidan who was drunk. I begged them to stop but they wouldn't listen. James just kept hitting him." Liara pulled her into a hug and comforted her, but broke it soon after. "I had to pull the trigger to the ceiling so they stop fighting!" Liara tugged a strand of hair away and sighed as she shook her head.
"What are you gonna do?"
"I don't want to see them ever again. None of them." She sniffed and sipped her hot tea. Liara knew how she felt, but this couldn't go on like this.
"Shepard...you're not obliged to tell anyone why you broke up with Kaidan." Shepard turned her head towards Liara and narrowed her eyes but the asari continued. "But...I think Kaidan should know. Tell him so he can at least try to understand." Shepard sighed and shook her head.
"But...I can't." Then she cradled her face in her palms, but Liara was persistent.
"I know you probably have a very good reason, but imagine how he feels like right now. Shepard, he asked you to marry him. Doesn't that show you how much you mean to him?" Shepard sniffed and thought about what Liara just told her. And she hated to admit that her asari friend was right.
"You're right, I suppose. But I'm not ready yet." Liara nodded to her.
"I know. But don't wait too long." Shepard nodded as Liara stood up.
"Liara, could I-"
"You know you can sleep here." Shepard just nodded and took her tea cup.
"I'll be here a while longer, if that's okay..." Liara just nodded to her and left to her study. Shepard used the time to think about everything. Now she realized what mess she truly created. She didn't ruin just her life, but she ruined James's and Kaidan's as well. Three hearts were broken, and that thought choked her. But Liara was right. She had to tell Kaidan the truth, then she would talk to James. She would at least try to explain everything, even though that won't ever heal the wounds she created.