Immortality
Summer 1942
On the last day of Tom's fourth year at Hogwarts, he received a package delivered by an owl he didn't recognize. Within the package was a pouch filled with money and a letter addressed to him.
Dear Tom,
I know we can't keep in contact, but I do still care about you and wish to help. Use my gift to you wisely.
With fondness,
Yours Truly
Tom couldn't help but smile sadly at that. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that Alphard would do this, but it did. Tom would miss the other boy for time to come.
Tom knew how to spend the money he'd received. He'd have to visit Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley during the summer at some point. Because he'd learned a fair bit of dark magic while studying with Alphard and it proved to be enough to take down Donna Abbott, his priority had to now be on finding a way to avoid death.
When the Daily Prophet had reported the incident of when Tom had killed the dark witch, it had skimmed over many details and avoided making him sound as powerful as he was, which was a good thing. He personally wasn't too worried about dark witches and wizards coming after him while he was in the muggle world. He was fairly certain they wouldn't know where to begin looking for him.
While in the muggle world, he was far more concerned about the war and the bombings on England. Many children had been evacuated from the major cities, but children from his orphanage weren't part of that group. He was just fortunate to not have been in London as the bombings occurred over the years. He wasn't affected much by the rationing either. His biggest issue with returning to the orphanage every summer was that his life was potentially in danger because of muggles, and there was little he could do about it. The orphanage itself was drab and dull and the children annoying, but those were simply minor concerns. He found most of his classmates annoying too after all. He'd been thinking for some time about a need to protect himself from dying, and the events of the past couple years only increased the strength of this belief.
As Tom walked over to the carriages that took students to Hogsmeade train station, where the students would then board the Hogwarts Express and head back to King's Cross, he noticed that the formerly horse-less carriages were now drawn by skeletal black horses with wings. They were a frightening sight to behold, and Tom looked around to see how the other students were reacting to the new development. To his surprise, the students behaved as they usually did, except Walburga, who had frozen with a look of horror on her face several feet away. It took Tom a moment to realize that the horses had always been there but that he just hadn't been able to see them before. They were thestrals, and he and Walburga were able to see them because they had witnessed Donna Abbott's death.
Tom took a moment to walk over to one of the thestrals and pet it to make certain that what he was seeing was truly there and to satisfy his curiosity about what the creature felt like. The creature was friendly enough and receptive to his touch despite its terrifying appearance. Some students gave Tom curious looks while an odd student here and there had a look of understanding on their face.
Tom got in a carriage a short while later, and when he later took the train from Hogwarts, he sat in the corner of a compartment that filled up with students he didn't know and didn't bother to get to know.
From time to time during the summer, Tom visited Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley. He was no longer concerned about visiting the latter as he was confident enough in his abilities. He spent a lot of time in bookstores skimming over books that mentioned immortality at all. Books at shops in Diagon Alley were mostly useless. Some books at shops in Knockturn Alley were promising although disturbing. There were two options that seemed most plausible, based on his research, but Tom wasn't certain that either would be suitable.
Vampirism could potentially make him immortal, but it was uncertain. Much was unknown about vampires, including their true life expectancy. Tom didn't like the idea of being dependent on feeding off of humans nor being unable to tolerate sunlight or garlic either.
Horcruxes could potentially make him immortal, but very little was actually known about them. How did they work? What were the consequences of making them? Were there multiple ways to make them? All of these questions Tom needed answers to. At the moment, Tom only knew that making a horcrux required murder. Did killing Donna Abbott count, or did he have to kill again? He had no desire to kill anyone. If he did pursue this route and had to kill again, he'd need to make certain the person deserved it. Considering horcrux creation was dark magic, however, it wouldn't surprise him if it required killing an innocent person with no positive intentions in mind like easing suffering. In that case, making a horcrux or multiple horcruxes would be out of the question.
There was one route to immortality that wasn't considered dark magic that he knew of, but the usefulness of it was questionable. Hundreds of years ago, a French alchemist named Nicolas Flamel created the Philospher's Stone, an object capable of turning lead into gold and a necessary ingredient for the Elixir of Life, a potion that would extend one's life so long as one drank it consistently.
The biggest issue with this is how Tom could even obtain a Philosopher's Stone. No one other than Nicolas Flamel had ever managed to make it. Granted, few ever became alchemists, but one would think that someone else would have managed to replicate it. Nicolas Flamel was very tight-lipped about how the stone was created too. Was it possible that he'd resorted to dark magic to create it? Or did he simply not want to share the joys of wealth and immortality with anyone other than his wife?
Another issue is how the Elixir of Life would be made. The recipe, minus the stone being an ingredient, was unknown. Overall, the likelihood of succeeding while going this route was near zero. It'd be a complete waste of time. And the rumor was that Nicolas Flamel was physically very old and frail to the point of breaking bones on a regular basis. If that was the case, Tom would be unhappy with that form of immortality. Going the route of vampirism or horcruxes would be simpler.
Midway through the summer, Tom found out the location of a place vampires frequented. He had to sneak out of the orphanage at night to go there, but he found the place without much difficulty. Dark beings in general liked to meet at this place, along with witches and wizards who engaged in conduct that was questionable in legality. It didn't take long for him to find a vampire. In fact, the moment Tom stepped into the room, multiple vampires had turned their heads to look at him.
A male vampire with brown hair and blue eyes introduced himself to Tom. To him and the other vampires in the room, Tom smelled delicious. Tom decided that the vampire could drink a bit from him in exchange for information. The vampire agreed and answered some of Tom's questions. When the time came for Tom to allow the vampire to drink some of his blood, he hesitated for a moment as he knew it was risky. However, a deal was a deal, and from what he'd read, he knew that vampire fangs were coated with a sedative that would keep him calm and pain free.
As the fangs penetrated his neck, he began to feel a peace come over him and then a pleasure so powerful and new that he was taken by surprise. He found himself holding onto the vampire tightly, wanting the feeling to never end.
But then it did.
Another vampire, this one a woman with bright red hair and green eyes, tore the vampire that had been draining Tom for too long. The other vampire hadn't been able to stop. Tom's blood tasted better than other humans' did. It tasted like everything one could ever want.
Tom felt dazed and didn't realize what had just occurred. When he finally regained his senses, Tom's face pinkened with embarrassment. At that moment, he wished he could cast a cleansing charm on himself though he knew he couldn't due to laws against underage use of magic outside of school. The red-haired woman looked at Tom curiously, and the vampire who'd drunk from Tom left.
"I'd suggest that you be more careful with who you allow to drink from you in the future. If I hadn't come by when I did, you'd probably be dead in a few short moments," the vampire stated in a matter-of-fact way.
"Thank you," Tom responded somewhat begrudgingly.
"Now, what brings someone as young as yourself here?" the vampire continued.
"I'm researching immortality and looking to learn as much as possible about the different options available."
"I wouldn't recommend vampirism for someone like you. No doubt you'd be drained completely and the vampire attempting to turn you would fail to remember what their original objective had been."
Tom's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "Why?"
"Your blood smells, and I assume tastes, unusually delicious. It's quite dangerous for you to be in this room even. I can't explain why your blood is so alluring, but it simply is."
"I see...What other forms of immortality are you familiar with?" If Tom had to rule out vampirism as an option, that was fine, but he did want useful information either way.
The vampire frowned. "Everything I'm familiar with involves dark magic."
"That's fine."
"Many of the methods involve murder. I don't think you want to become a murderer."
"Even vampirism runs the risk of murder, and besides, technically, I already am one."
The vampire gave Tom a shrewd look.
Tom pushed on. "What can you tell me about horcruxes?"
"You're willing to tear apart your soul?" the vampire questioned in a horrified whisper.
"I want to live more than anything, and my life is very much at risk. The chances of my death coming early in life rise exponentially every year. Now, I'm not committed to going that route for immortality, but I want to know more about it. Very little of it is written about in books."
"What exactly do you want to know? Do you expect me to tell you how to make one?"
"It involves murder, but does it have to be of a particular person or kind of person? For instance, does the sacrifice have to be someone innocent of wrongdoing, or can it be someone who has committed all sorts of harm to others?"
"It depends on what kind you wish to make."
"There are different types of horcruxes?"
"Yes. The most familiar version is the kind that involves murder of an innocent. However, there is a type that involves murder of someone who is not an innocent. The tricky part is that who is or is not innocent can be rather subjective. It isn't enough for you to have been wronged by them.
'With the version where there is murder of an innocent, half of your soul is put into an object that is of personal importance to you, and in the event of your main body perishing, your soul will remain tied to the earth with the potential for obtaining a new body. It would be a parasitic sort of half-life you'd experience. The part of your soul trapped within the object could either remain dormant until activated or be conscious and lose its sanity by being trapped inside the object indefinitely. If the horcrux is activated, it could reanimate itself, and essentially, more than one version of yourself could go about existing until one or the other dies. Because of how your soul is torn with this approach, you would remain in Limbo for eternity if you didn't come to feel remorse over the murder that was used to create the horcrux while still alive. The moment you feel true remorse is when you would reabsorb the piece of your soul held within the horcrux.
'With the version where there is murder of someone who is not an innocent, a piece of your soul would be placed into an item that is of personal importance to you, but it wouldn't necessarily be half of your soul. It'd be more like a signature of yourself than anything. In the event of your main body perishing, you would enter Limbo with the high potential of crossing over into the Realm of the Dead. In order to return to the Realm of the Living, two things would have to occur: You'd have to avoid crossing over to the Realm of the Dead, which would likely be difficult as Death would do its best to keep you, and someone in the Realm of the Living would have to activate your horcrux. You could reenter the Realm of the Living at any undetermined point in the future or not at all. It could be seconds after your death or even centuries, assuming the horcrux is activated. If the horcrux is never activated or you cross over into the Realm of the Dead, you'll never return to the Realm of the Living.
'One thing to keep in mind is that both versions not only require the death of someone when you first make it, but they also require the death of someone when activated. Who would die is something that you have little control over, and it could be problematic. Activation of the horcrux could occur without anyone but the victim being aware, or it could occur in front of many people. You could find yourself in quite an unpleasant situation."
Tom was impressed. "How do you know all of that?"
"I've been around," the vampire answered evasively. "So what do you think?"
"I think," Tom mused, "that the second version is preferable to the first even if there is no guarantee of returning to life. While the first version provides a guarantee of remaining alive in a way, the second version seems better in the event of not being able to return to life. I don't really believe in the existence of an afterlife, but if there is one, I'd rather be able to choose between coming back to life and going on to the afterlife than be stuck in Limbo for eternity.
'Now, as far as the sacrifice more or less is concerned, how soon after would the horcrux need to be made? Would it need to be made immediately after the death of the sacrifice, or could it be done a long time later?"
"You said you've killed before," the vampire noted. "Are you hoping to not have to kill again? Unfortunately, in order for a death to be a viable sacrifice for horcrux creation, you have to kill with the intention of the person being a sacrifice for the purposes of making the horcrux. Even then, you could put off making the horcrux for a couple days at the most."
Tom didn't like the idea of having to kill another person, but at least there was a method of horcrux creation that allowed him to kill someone who deserved it rather than someone innocent. "And how would making a horcrux impact my living self? Would it affect my magic or sanity or appearance in some way?"
"It depends on the method of horcrux creation. With the method that involves murder of an innocent, it affects your appearance but not much else as far as I'm aware. However, those who go with this method are never exactly sane to begin with, so it is hard to notice psychological changes. With the method that involves murder of someone who is not an innocent, it's difficult to say. Your appearance and magic should remain unchanged. Again, it's difficult to know how your mind would be affected. How your mind would be affected I think would be based purely on how you felt about what occurred rather than be a direct result of making the horcrux. Overall, I don't really know much about the everyday consequences of horcrux creation because it is so rare."
"You've provided far more information than the books I've encountered. Would you say that the methods of horcrux creation are the same, not including the sacrifice?"
"I believe so."
"Thank you for your help."
With the conversation over, Tom nodded at the vampire before leaving the building and heading back to his orphanage. Over the rest of the summer, he continued to research methods of obtaining immortality, but nothing was as promising as making a horcrux.
When Tom received his list of school supplies for the coming year and stipend for purchasing the supplies, he also received a letter informing him that he was to be the Ravenclaw fifth year boy prefect. The biggest perk was that his access to the restricted section of the library would expand; he wouldn't need Professor Dumbledore's permission to access any materials anymore.