IX

'K'

'No.'

'Tell me again what I get if I guess this right?'

'You're not going to get it. He's very nearly hanged.'

'It's not really strip hang-man, Doc, when you're already naked.'

'Don't be so literal,' Zoe protested weakly as Wade lazily caressed her breast.

'That's cheating,' she managed, unconvincingly.

'So is pickin' a word only known to medical science.' He murmered, kissing her. Her eyelids fluttered closed. It was impossible to concentrate whilst he was doing that.

'How did you guess?' she squeaked.

'It's a 14 letter word, Doc. With a hyphen. And the second part begins with an 'x'.'

Zoe giggled.

'Anyway, we were talking about New York,' she began

'You were talkin' about New York. I was…'

'WADE!'

'Doin' that. Now what was that about New York?' he asked innocently, looking up at her, eyes alight and chin propped up on her hip.

'I was asking…'

'Mmm-hmm?'

Zoe's eyes widened with the trajectory of his kisses.

'Wade!' She flushed, biting her lip and attempting to resist. 'I wanted…'

He stopped. She couldn't remember what she wanted.

'Are we really going to talk about this now?'

She stared down at him. He looked...

She shook her head.

'So, what were you sayin' about New York, Doc.?'

Zoe glanced around from fixing coffee in Lavon's kitchen. Wade was sitting at the breakfast bar, eating cold grits. She blanched and looked back around. No matter how long she was in Alabama, she would never come to terms with something as disgusting as that.

'My father's the key-note speaker at the Congress of the College of International Surgeons. He wants me to be there.' She bit into her toast and carried their drinks back to the bar.

'I sort of wondered if you wanted to come with me,' she asked, brightly. She hopped up onto the stool and passed him a coffee.

'You 'sort of wondered'?' he teased. He looked ridiculously pleased with himself. She wasn't altogether surprised after their morning. She leant over and kissed him, just because she could.

'Yes. Come with me to New York. Come and see what all the fuss is about.'

He cocked an eyebrow.

'And meet your father?'

'You've already met my father.'

'I saw him for two minutes, in a medical ward, looking at George's Dad.'

'I meant my other father,' she smiled, joking. 'But yes, you could meet my father. Though I'm not sure I'd consider that fun.'

'Worse than your mother?'

Zoe tilted her head to one side.

'Less openly hostile,' she considered, 'but equally implacable, I suspect. Ethan Hart isn't one to suffer fools.'

'Great.'

'Wade! Don't be like that.' She took his hand and kissed it. 'You're not a fool.'

'I'm not exactly a brain surgeon.'

'Neither's my father. He's a cardio-thoracic specialist.'

'Ho, ho.'

'Will you come?'

He considered her for a moment, tapping his teaspoon.

'Do you really want me to, Zoe?'

Zoe looked up at the serious tone.

'Don't get me wrong, Doc., I'm touched that you asked me. But…' he shrugged. 'I think it might be better if you went on your own.'

'You do?' Zoe frowned.

'Yeah.' He shrugged, trying to find the words to best explain himself. 'It's not that I don't want to be with you,' he began, 'God knows, I can't get enough,' he grinned. 'But a medical conference? I'm just goin' to wander around, not understanding anything. You're goin' to feel obliged to look out for me, which will be embarrassin' for us both. You should be talking medicine with your colleagues; trading stories; catching up with your Dad.'

Zoe took a drink and watched him over her coffee cup.

'I wouldn't be embarrassed.'

He looked at her doubtfully.

'It might be awkward, I'll admit. But only because you'd be bored.'

He smiled, understanding that she was trying to make up for the fiasco with her mother.

'But we could go into the city afterwards. Hang-out for a few days. I could show you my old haunts. Show you off to my friends.'

'Show me off, huh?'

'Yes.'

'Somehow I doubt they'd be that impressed.' He ran a hand through his hair, which Zoe knew meant he was uncomfortable. She felt a little stab of disappointment, not to mention no little relief and anxiety, unsure whether she'd crossed a line by bringing it up.

'I know you mean well, Doc. But I'm not sure I'm ready for that.' Wade flashed a quick smile of reassurance. 'And from what you were saying a couple of days ago, I can't help thinking that maybe you'd be better on your own.' He picked up her hand and played idly with her fingers. 'I reckon you need to get a dose of your old life. See what you're really missing. Work a few things out.'

She looked down.

'Are you sure?'

He shrugged.

'Would you really be okay with that?'

'I understand it, Doc. That's about all I can manage right now.' His eyes met hers, and she realized that he'd found it hard to admit to. She leant forward and brushed her lips very softly against his. He gazed at her for a long moment then kissed her properly, passionately. 'Just so long as you come back, Zo',' he said finally, voice barely more than an undertone.

'You know I will, right?' she said softly.

He gazed back at her, eyes searching. He smiled tentatively.

'That's all that I want, Zoe.'

'So.'

'So.'

Wade stood at the security gate, feeling awkward. Zoe had checked in, she'd bought her magazines. Now she was ready to leave. He felt terrible. If someone had told him how it would be, he'd have thought they were crazy, but it felt like someone had taken part of his stomach away. It was like some giant hole had just opened up around his breastbone and nothing he did or thought about would make it go away. She hadn't even gone yet, and he was already missing her. He wished he'd not encouraged her; that he'd not suggested she go alone. They could have been going away on their first proper holiday; albeit a holiday to a medical conference. But nonetheless, they would have been together: no Rammer Jammer, no surgery, no Bluebell. He would have had her all to himself for a few days.

Except, of course, that he wouldn't. He frowned. She would have been with friends and colleagues, revivin' old memories, talkin' about her career and relivin' her youth. He'd have been lost, awkward, feeling like a spare wheel, and he wasn't sure he could take that just yet.

'You okay?'

Zoe was looking up at him, eyes big and anxious, her thick brown hair falling in waves around her face. She looked so beautiful it made him breathless. All he wanted to do was pick her up and take her home. Instead, he nodded and smiled, shoving his hands into his jeans' pockets. He didn't know what to say. Nothing seemed sufficient. What was it about airports that made 'goodbye' not enough?

'So, I'll be back next Friday,' she announced, cheerily.

This was excruciating. He nodded again. He already knew her itinerary by heart.

'Ring me when you get in?'

It was her turn to nod at him. He swallowed. He found it almost impossible to meet her eye.

'It's only a six hour flight, so I should be there by seven thirty.' She said breezily. The tannoy interrupted her. She bit her lip. 'They're calling my flight. I'd better go.'

She stretched up and kissed him quickly, hitched her bag onto her shoulder, then turned sharply and walked away. Wade stared after her. She looked purposeful and professional, like she had just left a meeting. He could have been her taxi driver for all the goodbye they'd shared. It shouldn't have been like that. He should have said something. Instead - some quick kiss and he was left standing here, feeling like crap? He looked down. He didn't know what to do. He felt thoroughly inadequate. What if she met her ex-boyfriend? What if her father offered her a job? What if…he felt sick. What if she didn't come back?

'Wade.'

He looked up. Zoe was standing, pint-size in front of him. Her bag was gone and she didn't have any shoes on.

'Zo'?'

'I love you.'

She stretched up on tip-toe and pressed her lips against his. He looked down at his chest. Her hand was placed over his heart. But before he could say anything, she had gone, sprinting back to security. He stared after her, dazed, but it was too late; a very unimpressed guard was giving her back her stuff. She turned around and waved at him, a huge smile lighting up her features, then turned and ran, still shoeless, towards the gate. Wade touched his fingers to his lips, and smiled. He couldn't quite believe it. All these weeks he'd been thinking…and she'd said it first.

To be continued (after a short hiatus...)