A/N: If it makes you feel any better, I hated leaving you with a cliffhanger! And killing Caleb was hard. Especially considering he had a wife and a child on his way. I couldn't even imagine what his family is going through in dealing with it all. Well, I guess I had to attempt to imagine it...so that's what this chapter is. It's not going to be what you expect but I hope it'll still entertain you. It's your early Christmas present so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'm not creative enough to come up with anything except I'm not J.K. Rowling.

Goodbyes on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 9: Of Lightning Bugs, Blenders, & Spontaneity

++ALICE++

I felt so guilty. Too guilty. As I sat by my fiancé's hospital bed, the only thoughts running through my head were that I was just glad that Frank was alive. But how dare I be relieved when my friends were suffering? When Lance and Kay and James and Fabian and Shannon and the rest of the Gilmore clan were in so much pain, mourning the loss of one of their own. Whether it was their coworker or brother or husband, their hearts were breaking. And while I felt so incredibly sad for all of them, my heart appeared to be solely focused on the man in front of me, who looked so broken and fragile and vulnerable. And who I was just so grateful was still alive.

His eyes slowly opened and he turned to look at me. He didn't speak for quite some time, just staring at me with sad eyes. I stared back, unable to form any words as my eyes said it all. Finally, he reached out to stroke my cheek, whispering, "Have you been sitting here this whole time?"

I smiled weakly, nodding. "How do you feel?"

His eyes locked with mine, a frown breaking out across his face. The tears filling his eyes were unmistakable. "I tried saving him," he spoke hoarsely, shaking his head.

I didn't even realize that the tears were streaming down my own face until his face blurred in front of mine. I quickly stood up and reached out to his hand, pressing my forehead to his as we cried together. "I know you did, love. I know you did," I repeated for lack of anything better to say, my voice trembling.

"He was my partner," he whispered in between sobs, bringing his free hand up to cover his eyes agonizingly, clearly not wanting to show me how much pain he was in. "I-I should have saved him," he choked out in a barely audible whisper.

"Oh, Frank, you did all that could," I whispered, the tears staining my cheeks. I immediately crawled into bed beside him. He curled up beside me and sobbed into my shoulder, causing my own tears to fall faster as I watched the man I loved fall apart in my arms. "I'm…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

We lay there for a long time, letting the tears consume us. It wasn't until hours later when Frank eventually told me what had happened and it was horrifying to think of. Moody had gone rushing into the office, mentioning an onset of a small Muggle attack in Surrey. Moody, Frank, and Caleb apparated immediately after Moody sent his patronus to Dumbledore. But by the time Dumbledore could reach out to others and get to the scene of the crime, it was too late. A seemingly quiet neighborhood in Surrey was blown to pieces and the only thing left behind were the dead bodies of a known Death Eater, Armenius Nott, and Caleb Gilmore. That supposed small attack turned out to be a big one. Too much for only a few Aurors to fight against. After Caleb had been knocked unconscious, Frank tried desperately to put himself in the line of fire so that it was him who was being attacked and not Caleb who didn't have the ability to. But it did no good. There were too many Death Eaters at the scene of the crime and too few people trying to fight against them. Caleb had no chance once he couldn't fight back. It was a wonder they all hadn't died.

"How's…how's Lance holding up?" he dared to ask.

That was a good question. After I told the gang at Blarney's, Lance barely showed any emotion as he rushed out of there to go inform Shannon. He felt it was better for her to hear it from family than some Ministry official. James and Lily left quickly after, trying to figure out a way to get a message to Drew and Dezzy who had sworn against any communication while on their honeymoon. I think Drew and Dezzy just wanted to enjoy their six weeks away from the tragedies and drama and horror that they had been so accustomed to. Unfortunately, trying to keep away from tragedy didn't change the fact that it happened. All too frequently. "I don't know," I eventually said. "Not too well."

Frank quickly turned away from me, unable to look me in the eye. I don't know what he was thinking, but I'm sure it was similar to the thoughts running through my head. My mind kept focusing on poor Shannon who not only lost her husband but who lost the father of her baby. A baby who was never going to know his father. I kept thinking about poor Nora who had to bury one of her own. Who had been working as an Auror for thirty years and was still alive to show for it while her son only put in seven years and was now dead because of it. I thought of all of the Gilmores. I thought of Riley, wondering if she was going to be told. Wondering if she was going to show up at the funeral. I thought of James who had grown up with Caleb and who had already lost so many people in his life. I realized how many people loved and cared about Caleb. And how many people were now forced to grieve.

And once again I thought back to Shannon. I wondered what was running through her mind. I tried to imagine what I would possibly think if someone told me Frank had died instead of Caleb. I wondered if a part of her hated me because my fiancé lived while her husband had to die. I had to think she was contemplating why it had to happen to her. She was supposed to be starting a family with him. She was supposed to be starting the rest of her life with him. And Voldemort took that from her. Voldemort took him from us.

"He was going to be a father. He never even…he was supposed to…he's going to miss out…" Frank whimpered. "God, poor Shannon. I can't even imagine what…" he trailed off.

I stroked his hand softly, not surprised that he was thinking what I was thinking. "I know."

He shook his head, shutting his eyes to keep the tears from falling any more. "I could have saved him," he croaked. "I should have saved him."

My heart was literally breaking into two as I watched him torture himself over the memory of earlier that evening. "You can't blame yourself," I whispered, pressing my lips to his cheek.

"How can I not?" he spoke, shaking his head. "One minute, I was standing in front of him trying to protect him and the next minute, I was being double-teamed and I…I stepped away from his body for a minute. Just one minute! By the time I looked back, Caleb…" he trailed off, his bottom lip trembling uncontrollably. "He was dead," he whispered, setting off another round of choking sobs.

I didn't know what to say. I had nothing to say. Frank was clearly in so much pain and I wanted nothing more than to scoop him up in my arms and keep him away from anymore suffering. Except I knew that wasn't possible. Not in our line of work. So I instead just curled my fingers around him and rested my head against his shoulder, letting our sobs steer us towards a quiet slumber as I wondered what tragedies were lurking around the corner to catch us off-guard next.

++LILY++

James was doing it again. He was pretending as if he wasn't affected by a death of someone close to him while he ran around acting as if he was the stable one as he did what he could do to help those who were directly affected. In this case, he was trying to see what he could do to get a message to Drew and Dezzy while acting as if Caleb's death didn't matter to him. And he wasn't going to stop until he got in contact with them.

He was muttering to himself, a string of unintelligible words. Owl. South America. Death. Gilmores. Brazil. Letter. It didn't matter what he was saying though. When he got into this moods, it was best to just let him stew until he could no longer stew. I just tried not to cry in front of him. While he pretended to be strong, it was obvious he was feeling vulnerable and heartbroken. He was so far from strong. So I was doing my best to stay strong for him.

"Lily!"

My concentration broke at the sound of my name. "What?" I urged guiltily.

"Gee, sorry, am I boring you?" he muttered, his hand scribbling furiously across a piece of parchment.

"I'm just trying to give you space," I said softly from the hard guest chair across from his study desk.

He met my eyes for a brief second before turning away. "I don't need space, I need your help."

I sat up quickly, surprised that he needed my help. No, surprised that he admitted it. "Alright, what can I do?"

"I need you to use your position within your department to get word out to Ministry officials in all South American countries that were on Drew and Dezzy's itinerary."

I sighed. Of course he was referring to his need to get in touch with Drew and Dezzy. "I was already planning on it," I reassured. "First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to go to Shane and Lunder."

"You can't do it now?"

"It's nearly midnight," I reminded him. "There's not much I can do tonight."

"Fine," he muttered.

I glanced over at him as he returned to his parchment. "Is Pickles going to be able to reach Drew and Dezzy without knowing their exact location?" I asked, referring to his owl.

"Probably not," he murmured. "But I've got to try."

I merely nodded, letting him pretend as if he was in control of the situation for at least a few more seconds. He looked so broken, so fragile, and I didn't want to make him feel anymore discouraged than he clearly already was. I had learned a long time ago that it was better to let James deal with death in his own way. He would eventually come around, come to me for support and for comfort. He always has. Even when he acted as if he didn't want me there, I would always be there for him. He needed me just as much as I needed him.

"James?"

"Mm?"

"I-I feel like I have to ask this next question," I said hesitantly.

He stiffened, meeting my gaze. "About Caleb's sister?"

I winced. To this day, he still couldn't speak Riley's name. I nodded. "Yeah."

"I have no idea if she's going to be told. But I don't really care."

"James," I said softly.

He shrugged. "It might sound heartless, but if she cared then she never would have left the way she did in the first place. It wasn't just her boyfriend and her friends she left. She left her family behind, too. I would be very shocked if she showed up at the funeral."

"You're really that sure she won't show up?"

"She's not about to face confrontations with about a million people just to mourn one person," he spoke rigidly. "Avoiding situations is what she does best."

I hesitated. "Would that be avoiding confrontation or avoiding grief?"

A flicker of panic rested in his eyes for a brief moment. I knew he realized that I may have been hinting at him, too. "Both," he muttered, shrugging.

I frowned. "Grief can't be avoided. Just delayed."

"Facing grief head-on doesn't change anything."

"It's not meant to change anything. Just provide closure."

"You know what can also do that? Telling Caleb's brother and sister-in-law that he unfortunately died in the line of duty."

I sighed at his bluntness but didn't retaliate. I wouldn't win this argument. Not when he was using stubbornness as a front to not face the grief I know he was so desperately trying to hide.

I watched him as he bit down on his bottom lip, rereading his words. I watched him as he crumped up the parchment and chucked it into the garbage pin. I watched him as he started writing again, clearly trying to find the correct balance of words. I watched the crease in his forehead form and his eyebrows narrow vulnerably. I knew that he knew I was staring at him, but he focused his attention solely on the parchment in front of him, blocking out everything else. Me. His grief. Anything to do with Caleb.

Eventually, I stood up and walked over to him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. "I'll go stick my head in Lunder's fireplace now. See if I can get a hold of him."

He merely blinked. "Thank you."

I kissed the top of his head before heading out. I stopped in the doorway, slowly turning around to face him. "It looks like our weekend plans have been cancelled."

He froze, hesitating before reaching my gaze. When I looked into his eyes, I saw tears staring back at me. "He's really gone, isn't he?" he spoke in a choked whisper. He tried blinking the tears away but they slowly slipped down his cheeks in a rush of angst.

"Oh, James," I whispered, rushing to his side as I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him close to me.

He didn't say anything immediately, falling into my touch with a strangled sigh. "Why him, Lils?" he eventually murmured, throwing his quill down on to the desk. He swallowed hard, bringing his hands to his mouth dejectedly as he spoke again. "Why Caleb?"

Tears welled up in my own eyes as I watched him crumble. I squeezed his shoulder, kissing the side of his face. "I don't know," I whispered.

I watched as the silent tears streamed down his face and he reached for me, grabbing ahold of me so tightly. "I think of Shannon and I wonder how…how she will ever move past this," James whispered. "She not only lost her husband but she just lost the father of her child. I think of their child who will never get to meet his father. I think of Lance and Rafe and know exactly how they must feel losing their own brother before his time. I think of Drew and how I pray he'll be able to hear of this sooner rather than later because I don't want him to come home from his honeymoon just to be told bad news. I think of his parents and am heartbroken for them because they should never have to bury their own son. And Frank. Hell, I can't imagine what he's going through."

"I know," I reassured, kissing his cheeks and his forehead and the top of his head.

"How…how can someone who was so exuberant and alive now just be…gone?"

"I wish I knew," I agreed, brushing his hair back from his head with my lips.

He gazed up at me, reaching for my hand and kissing the tip of my fingers. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Lily," he said softly, choking up at the end of his words. "I couldn't imagine losing-"

"You're not," I reassured, more tears welling up as I heard such agony in his words. "I'm right here, James. I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going anywhere."

He merely nodded, wiping away a few stray tears. "I love you, Lily."

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. The sobs had already overtaken me as I grieved for the loss of Caleb Gilmore. And as I grieved for the man sitting in front of me who was clearly in so much pain and trying to hide it.

But no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was obvious every inch of his body was hurting. Every single minute of every single day, James Potter was hurting.

I just wondered if ever a day would come when that hurt would stop.

I had a feeling I shouldn't hold my breath.

++KAY++

I didn't know how to help him. Lance was clearly distraught and in so much pain and I was grateful that he let me comfort him as best I could. I didn't see him cry once but I wasn't surprised. He had always believed crying was a sign of weakness and even though I had pointed out to him that grieving for your brother's death would never even remotely be seen as a weakness, he chose to spend his time sleeping away his pain instead of crying about it. Most of the time, I lay by his side, holding his hand and curling up into the nook of his shoulder just so he could know that I was going to be there for him during this hard time. He didn't talk to me much but he never pushed me away. He gripped my hand tightly before he drifted off to sleep each time. I knew he was grateful I was there so I was going to continue doing so even if Lance didn't want to talk to me or cry out his emotions.

With Drew on his honeymoon and Lance not up for it, my friends and I pitched in to help with the bookstore. Remus especially. What was great about his job was that a lot of it could be done on his own time. So he spent a lot of his days at the bookstore and his nights in the lab so that I could be with Lance. I don't think I would ever be able to truly thank him for that.

On Saturday when Lance insisted on visiting Shannon on his own, I traipsed into the bookstore. I waved to the barista in the coffee shop, a young girl by the name of Violet, and nodded at Jacques, the cashier, before setting my eyes on Remus who was stacking books on the shelves in the back.

"Hey," he greeted when he saw me, reaching out to embrace me immediately. "How's Lance?"

I could only shrug. "Hanging in there," I said softly, perching myself on one of the empty book crates.

"And you?"

I was about to say I was fine when tears unexpectedly sprang to my eyes. In a matter of seconds, they were spilling down my face. "It just sucks" was all I could think of saying as I brought my hands to my eyes, slightly embarrassed by my sudden onset of emotions.

Remus hastily rushed to me, crouching in front of me to place his hands comfortingly on my knees. "I know," he whispered, reaching up to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"I've obviously always known that being an Auror is a dangerous profession," I whispered, tearing my hands away from my face to look at Remus with an expression of grief. "I've always known that this was a possibility. Not just with Caleb, but with James, with Frank or Alice, with Fabian, with Nora. But…but that doesn't make it any easier when it actually happens."

Remus drew me into his arms without saying anything. And I was grateful for it. I had been trying so hard to just be there for Lance, but sometimes it was nice to have someone else be there for me when I couldn't stay strong anymore. I didn't need an explanation or an apology or any words of comfort. None of it would have done any good anyhow. I just needed someone to be there.

When I pulled away from the embrace, I offered him a weak sad smile. "Sorry to be such a blubbering idiot," I spoke softly with an embarrassed shrug. "I've just been…I don't know. I guess I've just been holding it all in while trying to be strong for Lance."

He pulled over a crate of his own beside me and sat down on it. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Kay," said Remus slowly. "You lost someone also. Caleb was your future brother-in-law and was practically a brother to you already."

He blurred in front of me as the tears sprang to my eyes once again. "I hate this war," I spat out in a hurt whisper, shaking my head vehemently. "I hate that this war has lasted for so many years and doesn't appear to be coming to an end any time soon. I hate Voldemort and his Death Eaters for killing so many innocent people. I hate that so many have had to die. I hate that we never know who's going to be hit next. I hate that so many people are affected by this war." I swallowed the lump in my throat, hanging my head in utter heartbreak. "But what I hate the most of all is that I know so many people who have been affected by this war."

Remus nodded weakly. "It never gets easier," he whispered.

I met his gaze and slowly shook my head. "I have a hurting fiancé who proves that," I agreed.

There wasn't much to say to that, which was evident in the helpless look Remus provided to me. He just said, "Lance will be alright, Kay. Maybe not now but he will be one day."

I frowned, blinking uncertainly. "No," I whispered. "He'll never be okay. He'll move on someday. But…but he'll never be okay. How could he be without his older brother?"

Remus' frown matched mine as the only thing left for him to do was reach out to grab my hand and squeeze it. "He'll be okay," he urged. "Because he has you. How could he not be okay with you by his side?"

My heart filled with gratitude for the man in front of me. My appreciative eyes locked with his. A strong sense of hatred filled my heart for Jillian for letting Remus go. "Thank you for being here, Remus."

He smiled sadly. "I'm always going to be here for you, Kay."

++ALICE++

I had no idea what I was doing outside Shannon's door. I left the hospital and was heading home but somehow ended up apparating there instead. I stood out there for far too long before finally finding the nerve to knock.

I was taken aback when Lance answered the door. "Lance," I said, taking a step back and cringing. "Hi."

"Alice," he said without even a trace of a smile.

"How…how are you?" I asked, kicking myself for asking the stupidest question on the planet.

He frowned, shrugging. "I-I don't even know," he admitted in a hoarse whisper. "What are you doing here?"

Good question. I opened my mouth to attempt to find an answer and instead found myself filling with tears. "You have no idea how much I wish that they were never sent to Surrey," I whispered, shaking my head. "You have no idea how much I wish Caleb could have survived. That he could have been sitting beside Frank at the hospital, injured but still alive. I want nothing more than to wake up from this horrible nightmare and give Shannon back her husband and father-to-be. I hate that Voldemort took him from us. I hate that we all have to grieve the loss of someone who meant the world to us. But what I hate more is that…that Frank lived while Caleb didn't," I croaked out in a hoarse sob, drawing my hands to my face guiltily.

"Alice," he whispered, pulling me into his arms. "Don't you dare stand there feeling guilty or blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Be glad Frank is alive. Be grateful that we didn't lose both Caleb and Frank. I don't wish it was Frank and neither does Shannon. We would never wish death upon anyone. You have to believe that."

I gripped my arms tightly around him, hating myself for feeling comfort from him when it should have been me comforting him. "Lance, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

I felt him stiffen in my arms but he didn't respond.

Slowly, I stepped out of his grasp, wiping the tears from my eyes. "How's Shannon doing?"

He shrugged numbly. "How do you think she's doing?"

"Right. Stupid question," I murmured, hanging my head shamefully.

He offered me a sad smile. The saddest smile I had probably ever seen. "I know Shannon would appreciate you stopping by, Alice, but I hope you didn't do it just because you felt guilty."

"How can I not?" I muttered.

He shrugged. "You're happy that Frank is alive, right?"

I cringed, not responding.

"You should be. Don't let your happiness be clouded with guilt. Please. For me. For Shannon."

I didn't know if I could do that. "This sucks, Lance," I whispered for lack of anything better to say. "It really sucks."

I tried ignoring the tears that danced in Lance's eyes as he attempted to blink them away. "One day it won't."

I reached out for his hand and squeezed it. "How can you be such an optimist?"

He didn't respond immediately, his bottom lip trembling warily. "I-I don't know," he said softly. "I guess because I have to be. I don't want to be one of those people who lets this war get the better of him. We all knew that death was a possibility and sure, having it happen to someone in my own family hurts more than I could even explain, but what can I do now? What's happened has happened. Nothing is going to change that."

I wondered if he was thinking about James. "Well," I said softly. "Can you be optimistic for me, also? Because I'm finding that nearly impossible right now."

He squeezed my hand back, an awkward smile appearing on his face. I could have sworn there were tears collecting in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away and said, "I can try."

"I'm really sorry, Lance. No one deserves this."

He blinked, slipping his hand out of mine. "Go back to your fiancé, Alice," he said softly. "He needs you right now and I guarantee you need him."

I nodded, taking a step back. "Tell Shannon that if she needs anything, I'm here."

"I will."

I turned around to head down the stairwell but hesitated, slowly glancing over my shoulder at Lance. "I'm here for you, too, Lance."

I could literally see his heart breaking in front of me. "Thank you, Alice."

++KAY++

I was making dinner when Lance walked into the apartment. He looked so drained and exhausted when he came over and kissed me on the cheek. "Hi," he said softly, resting his cheek against the side of my head.

I wanted to ask how Shannon was doing but wasn't even able to say the words. "You hungry?" I asked instead.

He shook his head as he headed towards the door. "Nah, I'm just tired. I think I might go lie down."

I wasn't surprised by that. "Lance?" I asked cautiously before he could venture off.

He turned around. "Hm?"

"I have to ask you something I really don't want to ask but feel as if I need to."

He looked confused. "Er…alright."

"Is Riley coming to the funeral?"

He froze, meeting my gaze. He didn't say anything immediately but his eyes grew hard. "No."

Nothing surprising about that. She always did know how to hide. "Does she know?"

He sighed, slowly nodding. "Yes, she knows."

That just made me angry. Unlike Dezzy and Drew who all attempts at communication have been returned or proven futile, she knew and yet was choosing to stay away. "What, she can't make the trip from Australia to England to mourn her brother?"

"Kay, can we please not get into this?" he whispered, shaking his head. "Believe me, anything you're thinking, the rest of us have already discussed. She knows about Caleb but she's not coming. Can we leave it at that?"

I couldn't be sure why but I felt as if in that moment, Lance was hiding something from me. But after all that he had been through, I didn't push it. "I'm sorry, Lance."

The apology had nothing to do with Riley and he knew it. He didn't move or say anything for a while, just staring at me with solemn eyes. "I know I probably don't say it enough but thank you for always being here for me."

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I turned to look at him. "I'm never going anywhere, Lance," I whispered.

He walked back over to me to kiss me on the side of the head and squeeze my shoulder. "I love you, Kay."

As I watched him walk away from the kitchen, it wasn't Lance was thinking about anymore. It was Shannon who would never get to hear the words 'I love you' from Caleb ever again.

When did life become so unfair?

++SIRIUS++

We all deal with death in our own way. Kay ran around trying to help with funeral plans. Lance slept. A lot. James pretty much ignored it. Lily cried while worrying about James. Remus constantly asked how he could help. Peter avoided everyone uncertain how to deal with grief. Fabian dove head-on into his work under the belief that he would be able to save the next Auror in battle. Frank and Alice remained holed up at St. Mungo's as they tried to ignore getting back to reality. And Drew and Dezzy were enjoying their honeymoon because no one was able to get a hold of them.

Oh, and me? Well, I just walked around in a daze, trying desperately not to wonder who was going to be killed next.

Caleb's funeral depressed me more than I expected. I mean obviously funerals are depressing in general, but this one in particular just felt off. I kept staring at the front row at the Gilmore family and was very aware that someone was missing. I watched Nora grip her husband's hand tightly as the tears slid effortlessly down her cheeks. My eyes were drawn to Rafe who kept sneaking peeks towards the rest of his family, probably thinking as the older brother that he was expected to look out for everyone. I noticed Lance whose face appeared to be void of feeling, his eyes staring straight ahead at the casket in front of him. My heart broke as I watched Billy, home from Hogwarts, bury his head in his hands as he cried. I knew why Drew wasn't there with his family. I wasn't so sure about Riley.

I didn't know if Riley was told about Caleb, nor did I want to know, but for some reason, some horribly selfish reason, I didn't feel as if she belonged here holding her younger brother's hand or crying on her mother's shoulder. She had chosen to disappear. And that meant disappearing from her own brother's funeral as well. So it oddly made sense to me for her to not be there.

As I sat close behind the Gilmores with Remus on my right and James on my left, I felt so far from that church. I was back at Hogwarts in the middle of our seventh year with Riley beside me. I was reminded of a time where death wasn't a daily occurrence. Where these funerals didn't feel natural or expected. I was reminded of a time where we were all happy. And where Riley being surrounded by her friends or family wouldn't have been weird or wrong. Sometimes, I wished that if I just closed my eyes and prayed hard enough, all of this pain could just vanish.

Question was, what pain was I talking about? Watching those close to me die? Or watching the love of my life disappear?

I didn't know the answer to that question so I just ignored it. Honestly, that's what I do best. Ignoring anything that has to do with grief.

I sighed. Or Riley Gilmore.

++LANCE++

As the priest spoke of my older brother, I found myself tuning him out as my thoughts went back in time eleven years earlier, a month before I received my Hogwarts acceptance letter. It had been an extremely hot July day, the highest temperature that July had seen in over twenty years according to the news stations, and we had all decided it was the perfect day to eat oversized ice cream cones and try to catch some lightning bugs. Actually, it had been Riley's suggestion and Caleb had groaned at such a childish event. But hell, who was really going to turn down ice cream and lightning bugs? So there we all were in the backyard. Riley, at ten years old, was wolfing down her ice cream cone in one hand and skillfully trying to maneuver lightning bugs into an empty jam jar in the other. Rafe, at sixteen, was chasing after Riley and trying to set the bugs free just to spite her. Billy, at only four years old, had ice cream dripping down his face and was attempting to surreptitiously lick off the ice cream drabble that had fallen on to his shirt. Drew, at eight, was doing cartwheels and asking the same question over and over: "Where do lightning bugs get their name from?" And I merely sat on the porch steps watching my crazy family with Caleb, my older brother by a single year, right beside me.

That's when the owls arrived with our Hogwarts letters.

Seeing as our father was a Muggle, there was always a possibility that any one of us Gilmore children could turn out to be Muggle as well. I had always been so afraid of that possibility because I had always wanted to be just like Caleb. And how could I be like Caleb if I wasn't a wizard like him?

So I hadn't thought past the highly anticipated letter arrival. Until I, too, received one which confirmed the fact that I was indeed a wizard. I was ecstatic and joined Drew in doing cartwheels. And when I stopped doing cartwheels, there were hundreds of butterflies in my stomach. At first, I blamed the cartwheels. But I knew it was because I was nervous entering Hogwarts.

When I took my place back on the porch steps, Caleb nudged me with a grin. "Aren't you excited, bro?"

I could only nod, the fear taking over my words.

Caleb gazed at my in scrutiny. "You are excited, aren't you?"

I nodded again. "Of course," I choked out weakly, shrugging. "I'm just…it's just…I don't know…"

Caleb offered me a knowing smile. Even at age twelve, he was a brilliant kid. "Ah, you're nervous, aren't you."

"What? No! Of course not! Gilmores don't get nervous," I had retaliated, shaking my head vigorously.

Next thing I knew, Caleb's arm swung around my shoulders and he shrugged. "Gilmores do get nervous," he admitted, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You want to know a secret?"

I nodded.

"I was nervous for my first day at Hogwarts."

"What? No way!"

He nodded slowly. "But don't tell Rafe I said that. He would make fun of me for life if he knew."

A content chuckle escaped my lips. "Scout's honor. I promise."

"You were never a scout."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fine. Brother's honor."

He smiled as he turned to me, a toothy grin quickly following. "And here's my brother's promise to you," he said, his words soft and yet filled with appreciation, "You have nothing to be nervous for because I'll always be there to protect you."

As I felt the tears blur in front of my eyes while I watched my mother attempt to eulogize my brother and friend, I suddenly wish I could have stopped time in that moment eleven years earlier and not take life for granted the way I knew I had.

Thank you for always protecting me, Caleb, I thought. I'm just sorry I couldn't do the same for you.

++KEEGAN++

I didn't go to the funeral. I couldn't go to the funeral. I had only ever attended one funeral and I was planning on keeping it that way. But thankfully, no one questioned me not showing up too much. I think they were all dealing with their own grief far too much to realize how uncomfortable I was at the idea of attending the funeral. Fabian had been by Frank's side for the entire day, knowing that Frank felt guilty for Caleb's death. And one of the reasons I cared so much for Fabian was his ability to make a person feel better even in the worst of times. He had reassured Frank numerous times that it wasn't his fault and he couldn't have saved him. And to get Frank's mind off of his guilt, Fabian would regale with the fun and uplifting stories of Caleb's past. I think it worked for a little while. Until those stores just reminded us all of why we were forced to live in those memories.

The week after the funeral was grim. We all avoided each other, finding solace in our work. It was easier doing that than trying to force conversation with each other. Lily and I spent our evenings packing her stuff up. Slowly, we returned to our usual happy-go-lucky selves. But I reiterate the word 'slowly.' Believe me, I knew how difficult it was coming back from tragedy but as we went along our normal routine, slowly everyone's grief was replaced with complacency. Mine included.

But come Friday evening, my complacency was replaced with irritation. For a certain roommate of mine. I was definitely going to kill her.

"How the hell did you convince me that that animal moving across the hall from me would be a wise decision?" I murmured to Lily (my roommate for only one more night, but I was still living in denial).

"That animal has ears and can hear you!" a muffled voice spoke from behind a large cardboard box as Sirius glided into his new apartment, the box filled with what I could only presume was either a stack of Playboys or his alcohol stash.

"You better start getting used to the insults, Black!" I retaliated, crying out after him as he disappeared from my eyesight. "You'll be hearing them a lot more often!"

Seconds later, he wandered back out, a cross look on his face. But it wasn't me he was looking at, it was Lily. "I don't know who I'm more irritated with. Remus for signing the lease first without my consent or you for putting all that talk of discounts in his head." Lily opened her mouth to respond, but Sirius cut her off as he hastily continued. "Then again, it's probably just easier if I say I'm irritated with Rouge and call it a day."

I rolled my eyes. "Gee, I'd love to stick around in this hallway full of boxes, but I have to be…well, anywhere but here. Wouldn't want to get stuck helping you unpack," I snorted, glancing back towards Lily. "Want a beer?"

She hesitated, glancing down at the clutter of boxes on the floor. "Between that or having to help those two unpack, I'm definitely going with the former."

Sirius' voice rang out behind us as we sauntered into my apartment. "No, no, please, I don't need a beer. It's not like I seem to be the only one doing the heavy lifting around here and could use some alcohol to ease the pain that has arrived in my shoulders. Don't go out of your way to try to accommodate me."

His sarcasm was nauseating. "Believe me, I won't," I shot back.

Lily rolled her eyes and took three beers out of the fridge, much to my chagrin. "That third beer better be for Remus."

She couldn't help but chuckle. "You might want to start attempting to get along with Sirius now that he's your neighbor."

"The day I start attempting to get along with Black is the day Voldemort is defeated," I said dryly.

She frowned. "So never?" she muttered.

I shuddered, meeting her long gaze. "Are Lance and Kay helping move the guys in tonight?"

Lily sighed, shaking her head. "No. They're at dinner at Nora's."

I nodded. "How are they doing?"

"Okay, I think," she mused. "At least, they will be."

I frowned, reaching for one of the beers in her hand for myself. "Did anyone ever get a hold of Drew and Dezzy?"

She froze, slowly meeting my gaze. She sighed, shaking her head. "No. All of the owls James tried sending came back and while Shane was able to get word to the South American Ministry, they haven't had any luck in tracking them down."

I sighed. "Poor Dezzy and Drew," I whispered.

She nodded, a small pool of tears resting in her eyes. "I can't even imagine what…what they're going to think," I muttered, slowly shaking my head. "Here they are on their honeymoon, happy as can be, and they'll return to reality just to find out that their world has been turned upside down."

My frown deepened as I took a long swig of beer. "It…it sucks, doesn't it?"

"What does?"

"That grief never…never gets easier," I whispered, shaking my head slowly. "No matter how many times we have to watch someone we care about die, dealing with that grief never gets easier."

She gazed at me curiously and I had to quickly turn away, in fear of letting the secrets of my past escape.

"Yeah, it sucks," she eventually muttered. "But what sucks more is that we continue to have to watch the people that we care about die. It's…it's not fair."

"Life isn't fair," I muttered. I hesitated. "Exhibited by the fact that Black is moving across the hall."

She chuckled and I was grateful for it. "I'm still giving him a beer."

I grunted. "Can I at least pour it over his head?"

"No."

"You're taking the fun out of Moving Day."

"First of all, 'fun' is in no shape or form ever going to be a part of any moving, and second of all, you haven't lifted a single finger to help them so I doubt you have the liberty to call today Moving Day," she pointed out with a snicker.

I hesitated. "Fine, would Moving Weekend make more sense?" I suggested. "Since I doubt you will let me get out of helping you move your stuff into James' tomorrow afternoon."

Lily grinned. "I expect you ready to help at exactly noon tomorrow."

I groaned. "I should have just stayed in the office all weekend."

Lily couldn't help but chuckle as she headed back out towards the hallway. I begrudgingly followed.

"Aw, was Rouge able to part with a single beer?" Sirius said sarcastically. "Didn't know she had consideration in her."

I shot him a glare, sipping my beer. "Yep, definitely should have stayed at the office tonight," I murmured.

"Well, if you don't want to watch Sirius and Remus move their crap in, you can always help me finish pack," Lily said with a grin.

"It's not crap!" a familiar voice spoke to my right. Remus had just apparated with another box and a small bookcase.

I snickered. "I don't know how my Friday night ended up being filled with both unpacking and packing."

"Considering you haven't done an ounce of unpacking, you can scratch that action off your list," Sirius said dryly, jumping out of Remus' way as he hightailed it into the apartment. He reappeared a few minutes later.

"I'm carrying boxes and furniture into our new apartment and you're standing around drinking a beer?"

Sirius grinned sheepishly. "Want one?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Not my point," he said. "But yes, please."

"Lily will get one for you," he said with a laugh, ignoring my perturbed glare.

"I'm starting to see a major problem with you two living across the hall," I muttered as Lily breezed past me towards our refrigerator.

"Only starting to?" Remus snickered. "I'm pretty sure the moment I mentioned that Sirius was moving across the hall, you had a major problem."

I glanced down at the beer in my hand. "I'm going to need a stronger drink."

Remus chuckled as Lily glided back into the hallway. "Help us finish unpack and maybe we'll be able to find the vodka."

I hesitated. "And why would I help you unpack when I have vodka stashed in our own liquor cabinet?"

"Then let's get this party started!" he argued.

"I think using the word 'party' during an evening of unpacking and packing is a bit of an overstatement," Lily pointed out. She glanced over at me. "Noticed how I added the part about packing."

I groaned. "Have I mentioned lately how I should have stayed in the office tonight?"

"I thought you were done with packing, Lils," a familiar deep voice spoke from the stairwell. We all turned as James came traipsing up the stairs with a box of pillows.

"I carried a bookcase up the stairs and you grabbed a box of pillows?" Remus grumbled.

James grinned sheepishly. "Well, I worked out in the training facilities earlier today. Wouldn't want to pull a muscle doing too much strenuous physical activity in one day."

"Don't make me grab one of those pillows and smack you in the face with it," Remus retaliated immediately.

"Hey, that's better than the bookcase," I chimed in with a teasing smile.

James chuckled, placing the box down in the hallway and reaching out to his girlfriend.

"You're all sweaty!" she groaned, trying to hide behind Remus unsuccessfully. James grinned and picked her up off the floor, swinging her around playfully as she squealed lightly.

"I don't see how," Remus drawled. "He's not doing any of the heavy lifting."

"Well, now he is," Sirius added.

Lily glared at him. "Who you calling heavy?"

Sirius hesitated. "Er…oh, I think I hear someone calling me from the fireplace," he said as he slipped into his new flat.

"Your fireplace isn't hooked up to the Floo Network yet!" Lily cried out after him. She chuckled as James placed her back down on her own two feet. She kissed his cheek before glancing back towards our flat. "I should finish packing if I plan on moving in to your place tomorrow."

James' eyebrow shot up curiously. "Then you better get packing," he teased, smacking her arse playfully as she sauntered away from him.

"C'mon, Keegan," Lily summoned. She ignored my groan. "It's either helping me finishing up packing or helping Sirius-"

"I'm coming!" I interrupted immediately, following her into our apartment as I ignored the chuckles from James and Remus behind me.

Lily headed into her bedroom, but I paused at the doorway. Her room was virtually empty, boxes and suitcases lining the floor. Her walls were bare and a mere sleeping bag lay on her bed, her sheets and blankets all tucked away. This was a scene I wasn't used to. Often when I left somewhere behind, I did it in a hurry. I left clothes and toiletries behind so I could escape. Important photos and mementos were unfortunately discarded as I rushed to get away from whatever horrible situation I had ended up in. I only had the chance to pack in a few minutes, choosing to rid myself of my past and move forward. So it was weird seeing Lily's room so empty. I was used to seeing a room in disarray, not neatly packed.

"Keegan?"

I snapped out of my trance, sipping my beer as I glanced down at her. "Hm?"

"You okay?"

I forced a smile on my face. "I'm just sad you're going." It wasn't a total lie. As much as I liked to complain about Sirius and Remus moving in across the hall, a part of me was grateful that they were there. Maybe this time, I didn't have to leave these friends behind.

My heart skipped a beat. It had been a long time since I had been so willing to call a group of people my friends.

Lily perched on the edge of her bed, gazing around the vast room. "Yeah," she murmured. "I am, too."

I offered her an awkward smile. "Come and visit me once a while, will ya?"

She shot me a look. "Of course, Keegan," she reassured. "When I'm in desperate need of a gallon full of rocky road ice cream and a night of Meryl Streep movies, I will be pestering you for sure."

I leaned casually against the doorframe. "It wouldn't be pestering."

She didn't say anything. She just smiled.

"Okay, things are getting a little too sentimental for me," I teased. "What do you need me to do?"

"Can you grab my last suitcase from the front hallway coat closet? I think it's time I pack my shoes."

I chuckled. The girl lived for shoes. I headed back out towards the living room and slid the door open to the coat closet, which was more of a 'throw all of our unwanted crap in the closet' type of closet than a coat closet. As I was reaching for her last small suitcase, I noticed a small old cardboard box sprawled with the word 'Hogwarts.' I grinned and grabbed it, too.

"Lookie what I found," I said, tossing Lily her suitcase and placing the cardboard box down on the ground. "School memories! I say we dig into your past and make fun of all your haircuts that you once thought were cool."

"What are you talking about?" Lily snickered.

"I found this box in the coat closet marked Hogwarts," I explained with a shrug, my hands reaching to open the box.

"No!"

My hands froze as Lily came barreling towards me. She shut the flap I had just pulled out and tore the box from my hands. I held up my hands innocently. "Er…sorry, it was meant as a joke," I muttered, confused.

She placed the box delicately on the end of her bed, her eyes actively avoiding mine. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, I just…" she trailed off contemplatively. Her eyes migrated towards a box in the corner that contained bubble-wrapped picture frames. "I just want to finish packing everything up, that's all."

Based on that simple eye movement, I knew exactly what (okay, who) she was avoiding. "That box holds all of the reminders of her, doesn't it." I had one just like it tucked away in my own closet. With all of the frantic moves I've had, I've never once left that box behind.

She didn't bother asking who I was referring to. "I forgot it was even in that coat closet. But…I-I can't throw it out."

"I know," I said. Believe me, I know.

Silence followed. Her gaze remained stoic on that box and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. She looked vulnerable, regretful even. She reminded me a lot of myself. "I rarely open it up," she continued, locking eyes with mine. "I only do when…when it seems that everything in the world has stopped. When a horrible tragedy has struck and it seems that nothing good will ever happen again. Those are the moments when I am desperate to remember how it felt to be truly happy. How it felt for all of us to be truly happy. A time when we were young and spontaneous and…and laughter came naturally. That's when I peek back into that box and look at the hundreds of photos we took, the diaries I wrote, my favorite book Little Women that I read so often the binding got torn, my Head Girl badge, a…a stupid pact that my friends and I wrote when we were twelve that we'd be friends forever. Stupid stuff. But…stuff that meant a lot to me."

"Stuff that reminds you of your best friend," I murmured, knowing that it wasn't necessarily the stuff she was remembering, but the friend she lost.

That brief vulnerability in her eyes quickly faded into iciness. "Stuff that reminds me of all of my friends."

I shrugged. "Same thing."

She pursed her lips. I could tell she was about to get defensive. "The last time I pulled this box out was when Jillian left. It had nothing to do with…with my former friend."

I hesitated, knowing I was about to get myself into trouble. "Jillian left very much the same way that your friend did. You really think there wasn't a correlation?"

Lily hesitated, clearly uncertain how to respond. She glanced down at the box before gesturing towards the large roll of tape on the floor by my feet. "Hand me the tape, please."

I sighed, obliging. I guess I wasn't the only one who was afraid my past would one day come back to haunt me. "What was her name?" I blurted out. I had been Lily's roommate for almost seven months and the mysterious girl's name had yet to be mentioned. I couldn't help but be a little curious.

She froze. "Maybe there was a correlation," she admitted slowly, answering my previous question by ignoring my following one. "Maybe I'm just tired of people thinking that leaving is the only answer."

Bitterness spewed from her words as she quickly taped up the box labeled 'Hogwarts.' I couldn't help but wonder if she was taping it up so it would be easier to move or if it was just a way to continue suppressing whatever bitter feelings she was having. As if taping it up would put it all in the past. "Sometimes it's the only answer," I said softly.

"No, it's just the cowardly answer."

I glanced up at her, guilt weighing heavily on my mind. "Do you miss her?"

She froze, her eyes widening in shock by the question. I doubt that anyone had asked her that in the past four years. She opened her mouth to respond but quickly shut it. I had a feeling she was about to say no, but we both knew it would have been a lie.

"It's okay to miss her, y'know," I murmured, an image of Tristan flashing through my mind. "That doesn't make you a bad person. She was your friend for seven years. She…she made you laugh and you lived in close quarters with her for 6 years. You shared secrets and you broke some rules together. None of that is going to change just because she…she left. The past is still always going to be the past no matter how much you want to change it. You still shared thousands of memories with her that…that are hard to forget. That I'm sure you don't want to forget. That are-"

"Riley."

I glanced over at her, confused. "What?"

Lily got up from the floor abruptly, looking at me with a cool stare. But there was a softness lurking behind her eyes. "Her name was Riley. Hand me my wand."

I grabbed it from on top of her bureau and gave it to her. She muttered a spell and suddenly the name 'Hogwarts' disappeared from the box. She hesitated before levitating the box over to the rest of the pile of boxes. I took that as a good sign. I thought for sure she would have trashed it. I sighed, knowing she didn't want to discuss it anymore. "I'm going to grab another beer. You want one?"

She shook her head, her gaze still on that box.

I climbed off the floor and headed towards the door.

"I do miss her."

I halted, slowly turning around. There was a look of remorse on her face.

"But that doesn't change the fact that she left without saying good-bye," she said softly. "And for that, maybe a part of me wouldn't mind forgetting her. Because the girl that walked out isn't the same girl I knew for those seven years. Which just means I never really knew her at all."

She turned her back on me and returned to packing up her remaining clothes.

"I'm sorry," I muttered guiltily. "I shouldn't have said anything."

She hesitated, shoving her sweater into the suitcase. "It sounds to me that you know a bit about abandonment."

Oh, great, what have I gotten myself into? "Nah, I just happen to be wise," I teased.

She didn't even crack a smile. "Keegan-"

"Knock, knock!"

My gaze fell from the shut box with a groan at the sound of Sirius' voice, but I've never been more grateful for him interrupting. "Dammit, Lily, I'm going to kill you for giving them the idea of that apartment across the hall," I scowled.

She grinned. "We're in here!"

Sirius peeked his head into the bedroom. "Do you have a blender? Ours is still packed away in boxes but we're really in the mood for some margaritas."

"Oh, sure, you can't find your blender, but you know exactly where to find the tequila and margarita mix," I said sarcastically.

The ends of his mouth curled upward. "Do you really expect anything more from me?"

"Absolutely not."

Lily shot me a look. "C'mon, I'll get the blender for you. But if you're making margaritas with my blender, I'll be participating in the drinking."

Sirius chuckled, shrugging. "The more the merrier," he said as he followed Lily out of the room. He hesitated in the doorway, glancing back at me. "Except for you. You can stay here."

"That blender is half mine!" I cried out after him.

I merely received a chuckle back.

Have I mentioned recently that I'm going to kill Lily?

++LILY++

Because I had taken off a few hours the day before to help Sirius and Remus move, I ended up strolling into the office on Saturday morning to finish up some last-minute work before my own move. Nyger had requested some court transcripts from the last Death Eater Wizengamot trial and lucky me, I got chosen to dig them out and write the background report.

I was getting ready to head out, a few minutes earlier than anticipated, when Nyger popped his head into my office. "Oh, good you're still here."

Well, I guess leaving early is now out of the question. "Hey, what's up?"

"I need to be down at the Wizengamot now, but I've just been informed that there was some commotion in Brazil earlier. I'm supposed to be getting an urgent document from the South American Ministry with the details. Can you receive it for me and read it? If it really is urgent, then feel free to interrupt the trial. But you know Giancarlo. He often claims it's urgent and it's just him trying to sound more important than he is."

"Don't I know it," I chuckled. Giancarlo Raffeato was the Head of the International Magical Office of Law at the South American Ministry. I glanced at the clock as furtively as I could and while cringing inside, I nodded. "Yeah, I can stay."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver!" he said ecstatically. "It shouldn't be long. I'll be down in court room 6 if you need me."

I offered him a strained smile as he quickly rushed out. I hoped it wouldn't take long. I was supposed to be meeting James in thirty minutes.

I was busy editing my report when there was a light knock on my door. My immediate reaction was to groan, wondering what the hell I would be forced to do now.

"Gee, what a warm welcome."

I grinned sheepishly. "Hey, Shane. Sorry about that, I thought you might be Crouch or Nyger asking me to do them another favor."

"Favor?"

I explained what he wanted me to do.

"Ah, yes, the perks of being one of the only few to come into work on a Saturday," Shane said. "Speaking of, shouldn't you be moving in with a certain boyfriend right now? Why are you instead sitting at your desk sucking up to Nyger?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not by choice," I murmured.

He chuckled and slid into the empty seat in front of my desk. "Ah, well, the least I could do is keep you company."

"The company would be better if he brought beer."

He laughed. "How about firewhisky? I may or may not have some hidden in one of my desk drawers."

My eyebrow shot up. "You have firewhisky lying around and you're just informing me of this now?"

He grinned and disappeared. A few seconds later, he returned with a water bottle (clearly not filled with water) and two glasses. "I feel like this job has doubled my compulsive need for alcohol," he joked as he poured us two glasses.

"Quadrupled," I corrected with a grin.

"So, how did you spend your last night in your flat?"

"I didn't," I responded immediately.

"What?"

I chuckled. "Sirius thought it would be a great idea to make margaritas. So that's what we did. And when we ran out of margarita mix, we decided to just drink straight tequila. Needless to say, we all ended up passing out on the floor of their empty living room."

Shane couldn't help but laugh. "What a way for you and Keegan to spend your last night as roommates. Drunk on some guy's floor."

I hesitated, suddenly reminded of the box labeled 'Hogwarts' that was resting on my bed at the moment. "Nah, it was fun," I said with a nostalgic smile. "Kinda just reminded me of the way things used to be. At Hogwarts."

"Spontaneous?"

I met his gaze, wondering if he could read minds. "Yeah."

"I'll cheers to that," he said, raising his glass. "To spontaneity."

I clinked glasses with him and leaned back in my chair. "Do you ever think about Hogwarts?"

"That's a pretty vague question."

I shrugged. "I know."

"Yes," he responded, his eyes not straying from mine. "I think about it all the time. They were the best years of my life."

"Me, too," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why are you asking?"

I frowned. "I don't know," I murmured hesitantly. "I guess I'm just…" I trailed off as a slight panic permeated my mind.

"What?" he urged.

I sighed. "I remember how easy it used to be between me and James. At Hogwarts, we were constantly around each other. We practically lived together. The only time we were ever apart was in classes we didn't share together and when he was off with his friends and I was off with mine. We couldn't imagine not being around each other. But…but a lot has changed in the past four years. We barely see each other due to our hectic work schedules and I think it's caused us to drift apart unexpectedly. I just…I just hope that we can get back to the way things used to be. I-I don't want to move in with him just to find out…" I trailed off again. Honestly, I didn't know what I was afraid of. This is what I've wanted for so long. For James to want to be with me. But what happens if moving in together makes him, or even me, realize that in fact, we weren't meant to be together? That what we had at Hogwarts is something of the past and we'll never find that closeness again? That moving in together is just one huge mistake?

There was a sort of regretful glint in Shane's eye as he gazed up at me. "Lily, it's never going to be the way it used to be at Hogwarts."

I was afraid he might say that.

"But maybe that's a good thing," he murmured, pouring himself another half-glass of firewhisky. "Because how are any of us ever supposed to grow up if we continue living in the past?"

I cracked a smile. "You saying I'm immature?"

He shot me a look, the ends of his mouth curling upward. "No. I'm saying that it's easy living in the past. It's not so easy living for the future."

I nodded. "It's the known versus the unknown," I agreed.

"Exactly," he said. "Don't worry about you and James before you need to. Because my guess is, if you're already panicking about moving in with the guy you're madly in love with, there's another reason behind it."

He was right. Even though James tried telling me otherwise, I couldn't help but wonder if James was asking me to move in with him in hopes that that would be enough for me and that I'd put the marriage talk to rest. And who knows? Maybe it will be. Maybe I don't want that ring after all. Maybe coming home to James every night and waking up beside him every morning is all I'll really need. "When did you become so insightful about relationships?" I murmured. "In fact, what was the last relationship you even had? Avery what's-her-face?"

A strained smile appeared on his face. "Bones. Yeah, I guess."

"That was almost two years ago."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry that all of us can't be in long-term committed relationships," he teased.

"I don't see why not. You're certainly a catch."

I could have sworn a tint of pink appeared at the tip of his ears. "And now I'm steering the conversation elsewhere," he said with a chuckle. He picked up the firewhisky. "More?"

"How am I going to apparate with heavy boxes if I'm drunk?"

"Guess you'll just have to make Sirius and Remus do all the moving for you."

I hesitated, holding out my glass. "More please!"

He chuckled as he poured me another glass.

I was about to return to the subject of Shane's relationship status, when a great-horned owl came swooping into the room. "Took them long enough," I muttered, cursing the South American Ministry. I closed up my files and shoved them into my desk as the owl landed on my desk with the envelope. Before I could even reach for it, the owl was out the door.

"Anything good?" Shane asked with a teasing smile.

I let out a light chuckle and was about to say that I doubted it, when two names caught my eye. My heart stopped. "Oh, no," I gasped.

Shane froze. "That doesn't sound good."

I reread the letter twice to be sure I was reading it correctly. I felt the tears spring to my eyes and didn't even try to wipe them away. I slowly shook my head. "It's not."

++JAMES++

I was in the kitchen cleaning out our cabinets (I know, it doesn't sound like me, but I figured I should at least show Lily I knew what organization was), when I heart soft footsteps behind me. "Hey, Lils," I greeted. "You're nearly an hour late. I was beginning to wonder if you had changed your mind."

She shook her head slowly.

"Ta-da!" I snickered, elaborately showing off the cabinet space that had opened up just by throwing away old, cracked dishes. "Can you believe I actually clean-"

"James."

There was a hoarse waver in her voice that made me halt. I looked at her. Really looked at her. The first thing I noticed was the frown on her face. The second thing I noticed was the worry lines between her eyebrows. And the third thing I noticed was the tears in her eyes. My heart fell immediately. "You…you didn't change your mind, right?"

"It's not that," she whispered, taking a step towards me. She reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. Something was clearly wrong and I didn't want her coddling me before telling me whatever it was I'm sure I didn't want to have to hear. A tear spilled out on to her cheek.

"Just say it," I whispered, my bottom lip trembling in anticipation.

She tried blinking away the tears but it did no good. They streamed down her face and at any other point, I would have reached out and wiped them away and told her everything was going to be okay. But it was obvious things weren't okay.

She looked me in the eye and whispered, barely audible, "Dezzy and Drew have been taken hostage."

A/N: Ouch. Another cliffhanger. Worse than before. Bring on the screaming. But just to recap, one of my favorite scenes that I've written in all of the chapters that I've written in this story was that flashback of Lance and Caleb. It teared me up! I know that you all expected to see Riley but I didn't want a funeral to be the reason for her return home.

Next up: what happened to Dezzy and Drew? What's this about another attack? And more secrets from both Sydny and Keegan.