10/31/2011 (HALLOWEEN!)
^EPOV^
"What's this?" Bella asks curiously, spying the orange envelope waiting for her on the desk next to mine.
I shrug, and she slides into her chair and tears open the envelope in a most indelicate way. "The Target fiasco?" she confirms.
"Yes, the Great Greeting Card Incident of 2011."
A goofy grin settles on her face, and I know now that all the hassle with overzealous cashiers was worth it. "Happy Howl-a-ween to you too, ya cornball."
Professor Banner drops my paper in front of me. 'Way to dig deep, Mr. Cullen. A'
Bella takes mine and passes hers over. 'Very insightful. Your observations ring true, Miss Swan.'
"Happy Halloween, everyone. These papers were far too personal to share, so let's move right into the next assignment. We're going to try our hand at some poetry." Moans, groans, boos. "Easy now, guys. Here's how it's gonna go. You are going to work with your partner on this and turn in one paper together. I want you to select a color and write about 400 words about what that color inspires, any format you choose is fine. We're going to use the rest of today's class to conference and choose your colors. Go."
I like it. No research. More time with Bella. We've both been getting A's for the most part, so I don't feel as if she'll be pulling all the weight. And the idea of taking a break from introspective prose is downright refreshing. Bella turns her chair to face me and pulls out her notebook.
"So, what color pops to mind, partner?" I venture.
She's trying to swallow her smile, and I'm dying to know what she's thinking. I raise an eyebrow.
"Green," she says quietly.
"Why green?"
She grabs my eyes with hers. "It's all I can see."
I feel my lips curling upward in response. "I suppose I can work with that."
"We've got another thirty minutes. Should we start writing?"
"Sure," I agree.
Bella suggests, "Let's just freeform and I'll take notes. Glowing eyes of a cat."
"Freshly cut grass."
Professor Banner appears over Edward's shoulder, "You're writing about a color, so the visuals are going to be the obvious observations. How about adding an unexpected sense in there- say, 'Fragrantly fresh newly mown grass'?"
Bella scribbles as he talks. "Worn and wrinkly twenties," she says.
"The intimate warmth of Holden fleece," I add. Bella stops writing to give me a warning glare.
Whether Banner catches on or not, I can't tell. His next recommendation doesn't give him away, "How about something a little darker- don't give me all rainbows and unicorns here."
"The anxiety of waiting for an unripened banana?" Bella tries.
"Frankenstein's face!" I offer, in the spirit of Halloween.
"Continue delving, you two. You'll figure it out. These ideas are a good start, but give me more, thinking in verbs might be helpful."
O)(O
"Bella, I hope you don't mind, but I asked Jas to work with me tomorrow on my chipping. There's something a little off and I need to be perfect for the NESCAC Saturday."
"Of course, Edward. You two go ahead and -"
"I didn't mean for you not to come, Bella."
"Oh. No, you should just work with Jasper."
"Come with us. Listen to his thoughts. Learn with me."
~BPOV~
Edward's humility stops me dead in my tracks. My father's words ring in my head, "The mark of a good man is being unafraid to seek out good advice." How can I resist a chance to participate in this?
"Sure, Edward. I'll come." It's not like I have anything better to do at 7:30 am.
O)(O
"Bella, you can't cancel on Connor. Besides, you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket."
I don't know about eggs and baskets, but Riley's just gone on about how much I've helped Connor and how grateful they both are, making my conflict so much more confusing. "But I feel so disloyal to Edward. And besides, how can Connor possibly compete?"
"First of all, Edward already knows he's not the only guy you're seeing. And as for Connor, you've got to give the guy a chance. You said your first date was really nice."
"It was, but-"
"But nothing. Now you've tasted Edward so you'll have something to compare it to when Connor kisses you for real." It really wouldn't be any kind of contest to compare my good-night peck with Connor to my make-out sessions with Edward.
"Come on, Bella. You and Edward aren't married. You've been on a couple dates."
"So how many other guys have you dated at Holden, Rose?" Gotcha there.
"That's different, Bella. I've been dating since I was twelve. My research is complete."
"Ick, Rose, you make it sound so clinical."
"Trust me, Bella, there's nothing clinical about the way I felt when Emmett turned his dimple on me at that first football game."
"So that's it? You're done looking?"
"Totally. I'm over the moon for the guy."
"Wow, Rose. Does Emmett feel the same way?"
"As far as I can tell," she says wistfully.
O)(O
I open the door to two expectant faces. "Morning," whispers Edward, as I scoot out quietly.
"Fair Bella," Jasper greets from behind Edward's body. "Ready for Whitlock Academy?"
"I don't know," I say honestly.
"I'm excited to see what you can do."
Me? I thought I was just watching. Placing himself between us, Edward smiles encouragingly when he senses my nervousness.
O)(O
"Edward, tell me what you're thinking about as you get ready to hit this shot."
Edward responds with what I would consider to be a data dump of speed, direction, terrain, body parts, and technique. Jasper's answer is a light snort. "That's what I thought."
"Give me your wedge," Jasper says, holding out his hand next to Edward. "Here," he says, trading Edward for the ball. "Roll this in."
Edward crouches down from his spot about twenty yards from the green. He takes a couple of experimental windups and tosses the ball gently. It lands softly on the green and rolls right toward the hole, continuing on about two feet past it.
"Pretty good," Jas says, pulling another ball from his pocket. "Try again."
Edward adjusts automatically for the distance and the second toss stops just a couple inches shy of the hole.
"Now, do that with your club," he instructs, dropping a third ball in front of Edward in the grass. Edward's chip is perfection, following the established path right into the hole.
"You're fixed. Bella, your turn."
"What? No, I'm…do Edward some more…"
Edward goes to collect the three balls and brings one back to me. "Here. Toss this."
I mimic Edward's crouch and attempt to copy his skillful throw. My toss lands near the hole and rolls off to the right about 15 feet. Edward walks to the green and points out a spot. "Land it here."
This time, I toss the ball exactly to the spot Edward directed. The ball lands softly and glides within inches of the hole.
^EPOV^
"You weren't kidding, Edward. She's a quick study." I feel a wave of pride on her behalf. Bella blushes beet red and glances between the two of us, realizing that I've bragged about her progress with my roommate.
"She's highly teachable," I agree, handing Bella my wedge. "Just picture that same ball flight, and try to land it right here."
Bella reluctantly takes the club and I set the ball gently on a tuft of grass to give her an advantageous lie. She takes a little practice swipe and then chips the ball right where she wanted it, with a similar result. She smiles proudly and I nod encouragingly.
"Maybe you should bring her along, Edward. Sub her in from forty yards in."
"What do you say, Bella? I can pack you in my duffle bag," I suggest, playing along with Jasper's fantasy.
She laughs, "Well, sure, that would be fine on the way there. But on the way back, I'd have to ride with all your smelly clothes. I don't think it's such a great deal for me."
"I guess not. I was just hoping to keep you out of trouble while I'm away."
Her eyes dart away from mine for an instant, and now I know she's got an unpleasant secret. But before I can pry further, Jasper blurts out, "And maybe ward off some of your more aggressive groupies?"
I narrow my eyes at my tactless roommate, as I sense Bella direct a suspicious glare in my direction.
Now I'm pissed at Jas, Bella's pissed at me, and I'm just plain worried about what or who she's got planned once I leave campus.
O)(O
The second Bella's door closes, I give Jas a thump on the chest.
"Jesus, what'd you do that for?" he complains loudly.
"Why'd you have to tell her about the fans? You made it sound like the girls are crawling all over me."
"Hey, if the soft spikes fit…"
"Bella doesn't need to know about anything that happens on the road. Past, present or future. Got that?" I punctuate my remarks with a finger pointed into his chest.
A wide grin spreads across his face. "Why, Eduardo, are you planning on succumbing to the Coochies this weekend?"
"No, you douchical moron. I'm planning on not freaking out the girl I'm trying to get to trust me by making her think she's got something to worry about."
He pops his hands up as if being held at gunpoint. "Okay, okay. Excuse me for trying to inject a little fun into my morning."
It's pretty hard to stay mad at Jas when there's clearly no malicious intent. "Thanks for the help with my chipping, Jas."
"You just think too hard, especially around the greens. You have to just trust your instincts. I have no doubt that if you concentrate on what we just practiced instead of your other eighty swing thoughts, you will easily bring home the second-place trophy." A huge, smug grin takes over his face.
"Oh, I think I've got you this time, you cocky bastard."
"Game on, roommie."
~BPOV~
Visions of crazed and scantily clad golf fans intrude on my serene walk to the library, where Connor is already waiting for me. Unlike kids I've tutored in the past, Connor is most considerate of my time and careful not to make me wait. It doesn't hurt that he's trying to impress me with his best behavior.
"Can we do this at Starbuck's instead? I pulled an all-nighter and I'm firing on my last cylinder here."
"Sure. Are you sure you want to wake yourself up? Maybe you should just crash."
He grimaces. "I wish I could, but I have my Org Behavior recitation this afternoon, so I still have another few hours till I can hit the sack."
I can't help but picture Connor hitting the sack, and now I'm wondering where he lives, what his room looks like, whether he has a fleece blanket…
"So while we walk, I thought maybe we could talk about Saturday?" he suggests, as he drags along beside me.
"Okay."
"My housemates and I are having a small party. They're usually pretty fun." He shrugs and it seems like a question.
"Your housemates or your parties?"
"Got it. Ambiguous pronoun," he says with a chastised grin. "To answer your question, both! So, can I come get you at 7:30?"
"Sounds good." Connor pulls open the door and ushers me inside. "I'll grab that table while you get your coffee," I say.
"Can I get you something?"
"No thanks." I settle in and take the opportunity to check out Connor while he waits in line. For a Computer Science major, he's surprisingly buff and pretty darn cute, even with no sleep. He's rocking the spent-the-whole-night-writing-code disheveled look. He turns back to mouth 'Sorry' and catches me gawking. His silent apology turns into a confident grin, and he doesn't release my gaze until the cashier asks for his order.
"So, what are we doing today?" I ask, as he slides into his seat and takes the first sip of his drink. His eyes close and his head tips back as the coffee enters his system. A slow smile comes over his face.
"Mmm, I'm almost starting to feel human again."
I have to giggle, because he is sporting a latte foam moustache, and he doesn't even know it.
"What?" he asks adorably, the dazed smile peeking out from under the froth.
"You've got some…foam…" and I vaguely point to my upper lip.
His tongue comes out quickly and swipes up the mess. I can't seem to take my eyes off his mouth, and I see it curl once again into a wide grin. This is starting to feel more like a date than a tutoring session, and I snap myself out of my haze and I wonder briefly if that's what he had in mind all along.
O)(O
B-Do we need to work on our poem before class tomorrow or should we wing it? –E
E-I think we'll be okay working on it in class. Just think green! b
Will do. Didn't see you guys at the library today. Did Connor cancel?
No, we met at Starbuck's. He needed caffeine.
^EPOV^
Suddenly, a new shade of green drops down over my eyelids. Jealousy. I realize she's waiting for my reply, but I'm struggling to find something innocuous. Or even inoffensive. I finally settle on:
See you in class. Have a good night. E
I accept that she's dating other people. That doesn't mean I have to like it.
O)(O
"Go forth and create poetry," encourages Professor Banner.
Bella pulls out the notebook where we started this project on Monday. "Anything to add?"
"The polished glass surface of closely shaven blades provides the backdrop for the drama of rolling white dimpled balls," I read from my own notes.
"That's nice, Edward. Here, I have one, too. 'Pompously overpriced organic microgreens contrast with earth-toned rain-forest-approved wooden salad bowls, varying in shades of brightness but not in bitterness.'"
"What the hell are microgreens?" I ask.
"Seriously terrible lettuces that cost an arm and a leg," she laughs.
"All right, here goes," I say, screwing up my nerve. "The swollen green-eyed monster bears down, spewing hot breath so rancid that it threatens to peel off the top layers of skin."
"Oo-kie. We've apparently plunged right into the dark side."
She looks alarmed, so I try to relax the tight line of my mouth into something less chilling. Bella considers my expression, then continues, "I worked on the blanket line a bit. What do you think of this? Encased in the forest-tinted coziness of the logo fleece, each touch soothes with the comfort of home."
On more positive ground now, I relax into the exercise, "That's really good, but I could also see us talking about the sweet and heavy taste of anticipation of a first goodnight kiss…"
"Retinas adjusting to the darkness, aided by the fires blazing in each others' eyes…"
"How about the sound of pounding heartbeats picking up speed together?" I feel my body leaning toward hers, yearning to act out the scenes we're describing.
"Or the magnified scents of warm bodies moving closer together…" Bella adds.
"Fuuuck, Bella," I whisper softly, feeling myself desperately wishing we were under that blanket right now.
Raucous laughter across the room breaks us out of our trance. "Maybe we should go back to something safer." I suggest the most unromantic green thing I can conjure up, "Neon-colored plastic bins echo with the clinking of glass bottles being recycled within."
Bella smiles and writes. "Insistent arrow of light signals my foot to press the accelerator and my hands to turn the steering wheel safely to the left."
I share my favorite slogan, "Hundred of tiny green smiley faces proclaim, 'Give peas a chance.'"
"That's perfect," she giggles. "Let's end with that."
~BPOV~
"I know you're going to be finishing up all your work tonight and tomorrow. Why don't you let me type this up and I'll shoot it to you. If you see anything you want to change, just let me know."
"Thanks, Bella. You're going to putt with me tomorrow, right?"
"Sure. Is Jasper coming too?"
"Nope, just the two of us." I have to admit I'm a bit relieved. I like Jasper, but I feel like he knows things about Edward that make me uncomfortable.
I don't really know what to think about what Edward does with other girls. After all, I'm dating Connor and thinking un-tutorly thoughts about him, so why shouldn't Edward get to have fun, too? My gut apparently doesn't understand or care about double standards. It hurts to think he might be fooling around on the road.
I don't want to put him in the position of having to lie, so I decide it's better not ask. Meanwhile, Edward hasn't mentioned another date, so how do I know he's even still interested? He had his "chance with me"; maybe he's decided that was enough.
Then what the hell was that mini-tirade about the green-eyed monster? And that verbal foreplay in class?
O)(O
E- Take a look when you get a chance. b
Bella, it's perfect. Don't change a word. Thanks for doing all the heavy lifting on this one. I owe you. E
O)(O
"So how does this tournament work?" I ask on the walk over to the course.
"Well, it's all individual, and there are 32 of us in the finals. The scores from Saturday and Sunday will be added together, and the two day low total wins."
"But what about your first-place finish? Aren't you already in the lead?"
"No," he smiles and explains patiently. "That was just a qualifying round, to narrow the field from 128 down to 32 and determine our playing positions. We're all back on a level playing ground."
^EPOV^
She knits her brow and scrunches her nose.
"What?" I wonder.
"It doesn't seem fair. All that hard work, your best round ever, and now you have to start over from scratch?"
"Maybe you could write a persuasive essay to the organizers of the tournament on my behalf," I suggest playfully.
She gives me a little shove. "Don't tease me."
"Sorry, it's just too fun."
"So glad I could provide your morning's entertainment."
"Speaking of entertainment, when can I take you out again?" I can clearly see that I've caught her off guard.
"Oh. When were you thinking?"
"I can't wait until next weekend. Any chance we can do something Tuesday or Wednesday?"
"Sure, I mean, depending on homework and test schedules. Don't you have golf practice in the afternoons?"
"Yes, but the sunset is so early now we're done by 5."
"So should we play it by ear for Tuesday or Wednesday and see which works better?"
"Okay. Here, grab the putters?" I debate asking, but in the end, I need to know. "So, what's up for the weekend?"
"I'm going out with Alice tomorrow night, and then Saturday there's the football game."
"I know. I can't believe how bad the timing of our golf schedule has been. At least I'm here next weekend for Homecoming. Anyway, sorry, you were saying…"
"I'm going out with Connor Saturday night. Actually, we're staying in. His housemates are having a party."
'Staying in' with a previously declared hot guy in his own house, where there are sure to be alcohol and loosened inhibitions. I can't mask my disappointment this time. "Oh," is all I can muster.
Bella pivots and puts her hand on my arm. "Edward, he asked me early last week. This is awkward, right?"
"No, I get it. It's fine."
"Yeah? You're okay with this?"
"As long as you promise me one thing."
"What's that?" she asks.
"Miss me while I'm gone?"
Her smile fills across her face without any effort. "I don't think that'll be a problem."
"Well, just in case," I say, dropping all the balls down and taking hold of her face, "let me just remind you what you're supposed to be missing."
I feel a little gasp as Bella figures out what is about to happen. Right there on the putting green, I give Bella a knock-down, drag-out kiss. The kind you can feel right down to your toes. There is no uncertainty in this kiss; it isn't the starry night, come in gently and leave her wanting more, kiss. No, this is a sun's coming up and right here in broad daylight, I am kissing the stuffing out of you, kiss.
And you can't send a girl a message like that without your tongue. When I first reach across just to find her tongue with mine, she jolts and backs away, and I'm having none of that, so I tighten my grip on the sides of her head and hold her carefully in place while I go back for seconds. This time, she isn't skittish, but she also has no idea how to respond. She freezes up.
Suddenly it occurs to me, maybe she doesn't want to do this with me, at least not right here and right now. Am I the world's biggest asshole? Am I fucking James? I'm the one who pulls back with a start this time. Holding her closely, I take inventory of her eyes. She looks surprised but not upset.
Resting my forehead against hers, I say, "Oops. I got carried away."
She lets her eyelids close and shakes her head. "You're fine. I mean, you're good. God, I'm so inexperienced. This is so humiliating. I don't even know how to do this." She sounds incredibly frustrated and more than a little embarrassed.
I immediately take her chin in one hand. "Hey. Open your eyes…please?"
When she does, I see the discomfort that I've caused, and I feel ashamed of myself. "There's nothing to know. Just do what feels good. Can I…?"
She nods very slightly and readies herself as if she's about to have a cavity filled. I close in quickly so she doesn't see my mouth forming a smile. I move my lips along hers, giving her time to catch up and relax, without the threat of the intruder. Ever so slowly, I slide my tongue across her lower lip, not asking for anything in return. And when I sense that she's comfortable with that, my tongue searches for hers.
Ahh, there you are. Here, see how I feel? I'll wait here until you're ready. Oh, hello there. Mmm, isn't this nice? Gently, that's right. We have all the time in the world. Oh, you're getting more comfortable, are you? Well, hells yeah, Bella!
All of a sudden, I'm kissing Madonna. I mean, a switch has been flipped and there is no unflipping it! Bella's tongue is in da house! She's lapping at me greedily and getting bolder with every breath. There is moaning happening, and I can't discern who's doing it. We're getting really close to something that doesn't make any sense on the putting green, and it's clearly time to put on the brakes. I slow us down and punctuate the passionate kissing with a few parting nips before peeling us apart. I hold her face close to mine and gently pass my thumbs along her lips in appreciation.
I have a pretty good feeling she'll miss me now.
~BPOV~
I think I'm a slut. Whatever that was just now, I am crazed for more. I don't even want to come up for air. Please, God, let me die this way. I can't even begin to understand my body's confusing response to this unexpected contact. It's impossible to be so close to him and not crave more of his lips and that delicious tongue.
If Edward's goal was to make me miss him, then mission accomplished! He's standing right next to me and I miss him already!
Wordlessly, we break apart and divvy up the balls and putters. I'm standing directly behind him, but even from this angle, I swear I can see the smile curling all the way around his cheeks.
I miss all six 6-inch putts and glance up just in time to see him sink his sixth in a row. I shake my head in amusement at how what rattles me to the core of my being seems to serve only to inspire him to success.
O)(O
Forty-five agonizingly separated minutes later, we're taking the familiar walk back to my room. But today, it feels like an exercise in self-restraint. I have to forcibly hold my hand away from grazing his as we pump our arms side by side. Have to hold my tongue from begging for another reminder of what I'm not to forget, as if I ever could. And when we finally reach my door, I'm so totally frazzled, I'm sure that one errant touch would set me off like a firecracker.
But Edward's not quite done with me yet. As I'm fumbling to place my key in the lock, I feel the warmth of his tall body draw near and then close over me. He's leaning on the doorjamb, curling both sets of fingertips on the frame above me.
"Before I let you go, I just want to make sure you're clear on my request," he says, and I can hear the devilish smile without even looking.
"Pshhh, yeah," I snort indelicately, "I think I got it."
He places his mouth right into my ear. "So, you don't need a reminder then?" His voice is gravelly and low and tempting as a triple hot fudge sundae.
My brain is too addled to calculate the right answer. If I say no, he'll back away and I won't get another taste until next Tuesday or Wednesday. But how do I ask for this without begging? I split the difference.
"Actually, that might be helpful," I say, so proud of myself.
I spin slowly, and I don't even mind that he's wearing a huge smug smile. It's worth it because he's going to kiss me again. He leans his mouth in closer, basically performing a vertical push-up against the wall. His eyes flick to mine the second before he reaches me. I'm waiting for the crash and crush, but this time, he's gentle and slow and really, really sweet. I feel my insides heating up to boiling, then melting.
He breaks away far too quickly, promising, "See you in class tomorrow, Bella." He pushes off the wall one final time, taking his lips and his warmth with him when he goes.
Surely, I'm ruined for anyone else, which is, of course, exactly what Edward intended.
O)(O
Bella- Is it too late to add another line? –E
Never too late. Watcha got? b
Green is a fresh, unopened bud in spring, holding within its inexperienced protective coat the promise of a dramatic bloom of a rare flower.
Holy fucking hell.
That works. I'll find a place for it. C u tmrw. b
^EPOV^
I have a pit in my stomach, and I'm drawing out our goodbye to the point where it's already painful. We're strolling along Windsor Walk holding hands, filling in the space before my Psych class with last minute conversation.
"So, you've got Riley tonight, then Alice?"
"Yes, I'm going to try to work off the alcohol before I ingest it."
"Well, stay out of trouble, you two." We're both thinking the same thing- it's not going out with Alice I have to worry about. It's staying in with Connor.
"You too, Edward. Did you pack your big stick so you can beat off all your fan girls?"
"I always carry my big stick. It's not a problem," I say lightly.
"On that note,-" she rolls her eyes.
"Yeah," I lament, rubbing my thumb lazily across her knuckles.
"Make sure you send me a text the minute you win," she demands.
"You'll hear from me well before that," I promise.
"Good," she smiles. "Have a great time, and play well."
O)(O
"You guys want some company?" I look up to see four slightly inebriated girls regarding us hopefully.
Jas pauses his texting to slide his eyes over to me. "'Duardo?"
I shake my head minutely, and he answers with a polite smile. "Thanks anyways, ladies."
My phone vibrates and I bring it out.
E- So you're sitting across from Jas who's texting with Alice who's totally ignoring me? b
B- Looks that way. I guess you'll have to entertain me. –E
What? Nobody stalking you tonight? b
Just you, apparently.
That's not what Jas says. b
"Fuck, Jas!"
"What?"
"What are you telling Alice?"
"Oh, just that we should fix up those girls that just left with the guys that are hitting on Alice and Bella at O'Hara's."
"What the fuck?"
B- Sounds like you've got your own hands full there. And no stick to beat them away!
No kidding. I wish I had Barney's golf club with me. That would teach 'em! b
Seriously, Bella, are you guys safe?
Can you say pepper spray, Edward? Not to mention half the football team is in here tonight. I don't think Emmett would let anything happen to me. No worries. b
Em- Do you have eyes on Bella? –Ed
Yup, got her bro. What's the prob?
Any guys hovering?
Yeah. Want us to smoke 'em out?
Perfect. Thx.
I wait an agonizing ten minutes, that turn into fifteen, then twenty. Finally, I can't take it anymore.
Em- What's going on?
Ed- We're just hanging with the girls. It's cool.
Wait, who's WE?
Me, Adam, Gil, uh, basically, the Holden offense.
"FUCK. ME!"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Edward?" Jasper asks, completely oblivious to my suffering.
"Did you know the girls are surrounded by half the football team?"
"Yeah. So? Those other dudes left. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"No, Jas. This isn't what I wanted."
~BPOV~
B- Sounds like you've drawn quite the crowd now. E
Yes, Edward. Plenty of bodyguards now. Thanks for sending in the troops!
Emmett is totally adorable swooping in to chase away the evil lurkers. In the meantime, he's brought six of his beefy teammates, and now Alice and I are surrounded by a tableful of muscles, including the Holden Heartthrob himself, Gil Brophy.
"Hey again, Bella. Is this seat taken?" Gil asks, flashing the whitest, straightest set of teeth I've ever seen.
"Feel free," I say invitingly. He lifts his leg over the back of the chair next to me, and just like that, I'm sitting next to Gil Brophy. I slide my phone into my back pocket and settle in to enjoy the company.
"So, you girls planning on coming to the game tomorrow?" he asks.
"Of course, we are!" Alice answers, "We haven't missed one yet."
"You hear that, Cullen? These girls are loyal fans."
"No shit, dude. That's Rosie's roommate right there," Emmett says with a wink.
"Oh, so does that mean you have to wear number 84, Bella?"
I shrug. "I don't have a jersey."
"What? That's tragic! Tell you what, I'll bring an extra for you tomorrow, and you can throw it on at the game."
Now, right there is a whole mess of words I certainly never thought I'd hear. Gil Brophy is inviting me to wear his jersey? His actual jersey?
I'm distracted by the constant stream of vibrations in my pants and realize I'm getting a phone call. Digging out my cell, I see that it's Edward. I hit answer, but I can't hear anything, and reluctantly I have to hang up on him.
Edward- Sorry, couldn't hear you. Let me just walk outside and I'll call you back. b
"Excuse me for a minute. Sorry…" I murmur, heading to the exit and dialing Edward as I go.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," I answer. "What's up?"
"You stopped texting. I just wanted to make sure you didn't get carried off by a band of thieves."
"I'm still here," I laugh. "Don't worry, we're with Emmett."
Silence. "Okay then."
"You sound kind of weird, Edward. You sure you're all right?"
"Yeah, just…nervous for tomorrow, I guess."
"Well, get a good night's sleep and you'll be fine. I'll be up early if you want to talk. The game starts at 9:30."
"Okay, Bella. Talk to you tomorrow."
"G'night, Edward."
Long exhale. "Bye."
Replacing our phone, I excitedly head back to our table. Sadly, Gil's just getting up. "So, see you in the morning, Bella? Emmett says you guys sit behind the bench, so I'll know right where to find you." And Gil Brophy gives me his killer smile with a wink kicker.
The table suddenly empties out and feels too quiet and too spacious without the bulky men surrounding us.
"Alice, have you ever noticed that athletes aren't that much fun the night before a game?"
"Not really. Jazzy's pretty fun all the time," she answers with a smirk.
"Well, good for you, you little pixie. And please don't share details."
Mercifully, she changes the topic, "So, will you be wearing Gil's number tomorrow?"
I cannot contain my glee. "Sure. Why not? I mean, he asked me personally."
"I don't know about you, Bella," she says. "You've got men falling at your feet everywhere you go."
"I wouldn't quite say that, Alice. But it sure is fun to get noticed, for a change."
"You worked hard for this, Bella. You have a right to enjoy it."
^EPOV^
Em- I thought you asked Brophy to hold off?
I did. He did. That was a week ago.
FUCK!
Could you help out a brother?
Sure, Eddie. We're turning in now anyways. No harm done here. Besides, once a girl goes Cullen, she never goes back.
Gee, thanks, Emmett. I feel so much better now.
Keep your panties on. Even Gil can't get the girl during the football game. Concentrate on your match and all will be well. Sleep tight, Eddie.
O)(O
Our wake-up call comes at 7:15 and Jasper and I negotiate showers and breakfast before heading to the practice area.
B- If you're up, call me. E
At 8:10, I have to turn my phone to quiet and slip it into my bag. I find Jasper on the practice green and toss down a few balls. "They're gonna be fast today. It's getting colder," he says.
I acknowledge his advice and confirm it with a few long putts. "You talk to Alice this morning?"
"Nah, she's still logging her beauty sleep. Bella?"
I shake my head no.
"Come on, Edward. We'll talk to them when we're in first and second place." He picks up his balls and gives me a friendly slap on the back.
Because of our qualifying scores, Jas and I have the honor of the last tee time. By the time we arrive and are announced on the tee, the crowd is thick with fans from all over New England. I know my own parents would have loved to have been here, but they're coming to Holden next weekend for homecoming, so this tournament wasn't in the cards this year.
"Okay, buddy, let's have it long and straight," encourages my friend.
"That's what she said," I answer in typical fashion, stepping up to my tee.
O)(O
Jas and I are on fire. Between his longer tee shots and my "feel" chipping, we both find ourselves one under at the turn. "You are giving me a run for my money, roommie," Jasper chides.
"I hear the next lowest score is three over, and he's on the 16th."
"So we keep our focus until the ball drops into the last cup, and we've got this."
Bolstered by his inspiring comments, I continue to tear it up on the back nine, and Jasper stays right with me. He's the best playing partner I've ever had, even when he's my opponent. His style of play calms me, and he's serious while staying relaxed. We find ourselves holding onto one under after 18, for a wide four stroke lead on third place.
We've had a steady gallery moving forward with us throughout the morning, and they clamor for us at the judges' tent after we post our scores. Jasper is swallowed up into the crowd, signing autographs and likely collecting phone numbers that will go unused. I find a quiet place to set down my bag and unzip the compartment holding my cell. Eight messages.
8:20 E- So sorry I missed your text. Just woke up. Good luck! b
9:45 E-Watching the NESCAC blog. Wow, you and Jas are doing great! b
10:30 You're rocking it, Edward! So proud! b
11:45 Holy shit, what a lead! b
12:30 Eddie-Look at you go, dude! Call me! Em ps- we won
12:31 Edward, Your Mother and I are so proud of you. Congratulations on a fine win today. Love, Dad
12:33 E- Football game is over. We won. Emmett is only 20 yards away from college career receiving record! We're at the Cellar with a few of the players celebrating. Meanwhile, congrats on a great day! b
12:40 Edward- You gonna call me or WHAT? b
Her last message brings a smile to my face, and I call her immediately. Her enthusiasm crackles through the digital network, and it feels like she's right here. If only.
~BPOV~
True to his word, Gil finds me in the stands and tosses me a spare jersey with a wink and a smile, drawing attention from curious spectators.
"You go, girl!" squeals Rose as I pull number 7 over my head. I pay more attention than usual to the goings-on out on the field. Emmett is having a huge day, and Rose's ass hardly meets the bleachers the entire three hours. I'm definitely preoccupied with the real number 7's whereabouts, especially since we're sitting so close, I can see the enamel of his teeth every time he turns around and smiles at me from the bench.
Meanwhile, I follow Edward's match on the NESCAC site with great interest and send Edward texts throughout, even though I know he can't receive my messages until the end. When he finally calls me at 12:45, Alice, Rose and I are tucked into a rowdy table at the Cellar with Emmett, Gil, and a couple others. I pop outside to talk with Edward.
"So, Emmett's about to break the record, huh?"
"Yeah, it was really exciting today, but it's going to be even better for him to do it for Homecoming. He says your parents are coming up next weekend?"
"Yeah. What about your Dad?"
"We haven't really discussed it. Anyway, congratulations! Jas too!"
"Thanks, Bella. It was a great day. I hope we can continue the momentum tomorrow."
"Of course you can! So what are you guys doing tonight?"
"The usual," he says, and I detect a note of disdain in his voice. "Head to a bar, watch a bunch of people drink too much, watch Jas text Alice all night, then hit the hay."
"Mm, lifestyles of the rich and famous."
"So what time is your date?"
"7:30. I'll try to connect with you later tonight, but definitely in the morning."
"Don't worry about it. You have a good time, and we'll talk tomorrow afternoon."
"Okay. And Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"I do miss you."
O)(O
I spare Connor the Rosalie treatment when he knocks on the door, giving her a quick,"Later, Rose," and scooting out. Once in the hallway, I happily note that Connor not deprived of sleep is an even better sight than All-nighter Connor. He's sloppy casual, but I can tell he's fully alert, and whatever haphazard look he's sporting tonight probably took more time and attention than any guy would care to admit.
"You look nice," he comments, taking in my skinny jeans, boots, and long wrap.
"So do you," I answer honestly. "So, who's going to be at this party?" I ask with slight trepidation.
"My housemates, their girlfriends, a few friends, Riley might stop by…that's about it."
That doesn't sound too intimidating.
"Like I said before, Bella, they're usually pretty fun. But if you're not enjoying yourself, I'm happy to take off and do something else with you."
"Thanks, Connor. I'm sure it'll be a good time."
O)(O
Connor puts his arm around me and leads me to where the small crowd has congregated around the keg. He introduces me to his housemates and their girlfriends, and he pumps out a beer for each of us. They're talking about Homecoming, and how it's mostly a freshman event so they won't be participating. I remind myself to talk with Charlie tomorrow.
"More beer?" he asks, noticing my cup is empty.
"No thanks. I can't stand drinking all the empty calories now."
"We've got other stuff; would you rather have some wine? Or maybe vodka? We've got mixers."
"Sure, if it's not too much trouble."
"No worries. Let's check out the kitchen."
There are a bunch of girls in the kitchen, mixing up a storm, tasting as they go, spilling and giggling. "You have to try this, Bella," a girl called Victoria says, offering me something peach-colored. "We call it Love Potion No. 9." Giggles erupt as she hands me the drink.
I take a sip, and it's not half bad. "Mm, what's in here?"
Victoria points her long red fingernail from the beginning to the end of the row of bottles lined up on the counter, and they all burst out in fresh laughter.
O)(O
Around midnight, the party thins, the lights dim, the music still blares but it's slower now. Plastic cups and empty chip bags litter the room. Each piece of furniture is occupied by a couple in various stages of…coupling, and Connor and I stand awkwardly in the middle.
"Would you like to see my room?"
"Silly boy, I can't go up to your room with you. I don't even know your middle name."
"McGonigal," he answers swiftly. "Now, would you like to see my room?"
I'm curious and just tipsy enough to say, "Sure."
With one hand on my back, he helps me navigate the stairs, then aims me toward the last room at the end of the hall. He twists the knob, opens the door and ushers me inside. There's nowhere to sit except the bed, so I don't. Connor shuts the door behind us, and the click of the lock jars me with its finality. He chuckles when he sees how stiffly I'm standing.
I feel him close in behind me. He gathers all my hair in one hand and arranges it over my left shoulder. One finger slides teasingly from behind my right ear straight down my neck, stopping in the overly sensitive hollow where my shoulder begins. A chill rushes through my body, and again, I hear Connor chuckle. But this time, I also feel the sound echo in his chest, which is now pushed solidly against my back.
"Did you know you have an extremely sexy neck?" he whispers, small puffs of air fluttering across said neck with each word.
He trails his lips softly where his finger's just traveled, and the sensation overwhelms me. I hope his question was rhetorical, because there's no way I could form words right now.
His soft kisses cross my jawline and approach the side of my mouth. Connor gently turns my body so now we're facing each other. I'm thrown off momentarily by his changed appearance. His eyes are glazed over, and his mouth looks more serious than I'm used to. He looks almost…hungry. I wonder fleetingly if I appear the same way to him. I feel lightheaded and swoony and frankly, scared.
Through my haze, Charlie's perpetual warnings about being alone with boys in their bedrooms come through. Connor's not a stranger, I soothe myself. Then I take another look and realize I don't actually know this boy at all.
At that moment, he closes his lips over my mouth in an insistent kiss. Aided by the feel and taste of Connor, Rose's advice handily pushes Charlie's aside, and I take the opportunity to consider how this kiss racks up against Edward's. There's no denying it's nice or that I really, really seem to enjoy kissing boys. And truth be told, I couldn't really tell you that one kiss is better than the other. So now I'm pretty confused, because I was kind of hoping that I'd have my solution once we kissed.
It's not until we come up for air and really look at each other that I realize everything I needed to know. It's not Connor's lips that fall short of Edward's; it's his eyes. Not the fact that Edward's green eyes have tiny flecks of gold shooting out from their centers. Not that Edward's eyes radiate kindness and gentleness. Not even that Edward's eyes glow in the daytime sun as well as the darkness of the nighttime sky.
Because even if Connor's eyes did all those things, they still wouldn't reveal what Edward's eyes show me every time: he truly sees who I am, and based on that alone, he chooses me.
I'm sure if I didn't know all this about Edward, I could be perfectly happy kissing Connor for even longer. But now I just can't. No, I can, I just don't want to.
"Oh," he says perceptively. "I guess we're not on the same page."
"I'm sorry, Connor. You're not mad, are you?"
"Not mad. Just disappointed," he says with a sad smile. "I was hoping this might work."
"Would it be too much for me to ask you to walk me home?"
"Of course I'll walk you home."
^EPOV^
Edward- It's 1 am and I know (hope!) ur sound asleep (alone!). Just got home and have I told u I really miss u? Setting my alarm for 8 so we can talk b4 u play. xb
I don't fail to notice the "x" that has appeared before the now familiar lower case "b". I force myself to wait until 8:01 to call her.
"Mmm hello?"
"Oh shit. I woke you. Sorry, Bella. I thought you wanted to-"
"No, I'm up. I didn't want to miss wishing you luck."
"Well, go ahead then."
She laughs, "Good luck, Edward."
"Thanks. So…last night?"
"He's not you. What can I say?" I can hear the smile in her voice, and I love that I know her well enough to know exactly how it looks on her face right now.
"That says it all."
"And what about you? Crazed stalkers?"
"There's only one stalker I care about. I assume she'll be slavishly devoted to the blog today, watching my progress?"
"Where else would I be, Edward?"
"Hmm, I don't know, maybe out having brunch with the Holden offensive line?" Way to hide your insecurities.
A loud guffaw and then, "Not so much."
"All right, then. Good." As I say the word, I realize how fucking relieved I am, so like a moron I say it again. "Good."
She giggles at my infantile vocabulary. "Call me later?"
"As soon as I win." Jasper walks by as I zip my cell into the golf bag and pull on my glove.
"How we doing today, big boy?" he asks, dropping his balls onto the practice green next to me.
"I'm feelin' it," I warn him.
"Bring it, son."
O)(O
"Well, if you had to beat me, I'm glad it was your personal best. Congratulations, man. You played one hell of a round today," Jasper says most graciously, shaking my hand on 18.
"Thanks, Jas. All that chipping advice really paid off."
"I'd love to take credit for your win, buddy, but I think something entirely different got into you today. I've never seen you so focused and so relaxed at the same time."
I know exactly what's gotten into me, and the second I smile, so does he.
"Ah, fair Bella. You best go call her."
I can't wait to hear her voice, but I send her this text first: You are hereby invited to a trophy viewing at 3 pm at MacNeil 301.
One second later, my phone's vibrating like crazy. "Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!"
"Hello to you, too," I answer, pulling the phone away from my assaulted ear.
"You did it, Edward! 2011 NESCAC Champion! Holy shit! You beat Jas!"
"I did, and the other 34 of them as well," I allow myself a moment of cocky joy.
"How do you feel? Was it great? You made it seem so easy! At least that's what they were saying!"
"It felt easy today. Like I couldn't miss, no matter what." I sigh, because that's exactly how it felt, but I'm not sure she understands that particular feeling.
"My last piano recital felt the same way! You practice and practice, and then you step up and everything just falls into place. Oh, Edward, I'm so happy for you!"
Of course she understands. She's Bella.
O)(O
At 2:55, I knock on her door. "Edward!" She throws her arms around me, and I drop my duffle in the hallway so I can hug her back. "What are you doing here? I was just about to come down to your room."
"I thought it might be a little dickish of me to celebrate in front of Jas. Hey, Rose."
She turns around from her desk to greet me, "Congrats, Edward."
Bella points down to my duffle. "So, let's see!"
I start unzipping my bag where it lies. "Well, come inside, you crazy fool."
I nudge my bag through the doorway and kick the door closed behind me. Bella hops onto her bed with an expectant expression and waves her hand in a 'hurry-up' gesture. I pull out the lump carefully nestled into the middle of my bag. Walking it over to her, I unwind the winner's jacket from the outside to unveil the hidden trophy beneath.
"Ta-da!" I say, immediately embarrassed for my overly dramatic display. I place it into her waiting hands.
"Wow. Shiny! Oh no, they spelled your name wrong…look at this…!"
"What? Are you fucking kid-"
"Hah! Gotcha!" she says.
"Nice, Bella. Real nice," I say, but I'm not even a little irritated and she knows it. "I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, after all, they got it wrong on my jacket."
"What? Lemma see that!" she says, ripping the collegiate letterman version of the Master's jacket from my other hand and examining the back.
I crack up at the look of concern she's now wearing. "Fair is fair," I chuckle.
"Just for that, you're not getting this back," she says, standing to pull the jacket around her shoulders and slide her arms through.
Something about her wearing my coat really pleases me, and I swirl my finger in a downward circle so she'll turn around. And there it is; my last name across her shoulder blades. I collect her hair and free it from the collar, letting it spill over my name.
"That looks good on you," I say. She blushes a cute shade of pink, and I know she understands my full meaning. Then her eyes shift minutely to her dresser, and I see something on top that makes my face red, but not for the same reason.
#7- Brophy's jersey.
I look away quickly, pretending I don't recognize what I've just seen. I don't trust myself right now to not be a possessive prick and make a comment that I know I'll regret. This has been such a perfect day, and I don't want anything to spoil it.
"Listen, Bella, I'm pretty wiped."
"Oh sure, I understand," she says, twisting her shoulder back to pull off the jacket.
I stop her by grasping the top of the jacket on each side at the collar. "Why don't you hang onto this for me?" I suggest.
"But Edward, you earned this."
"I like the way it looks on you." She smiles, and I add, "Especially the back."
While I'm holding her close, I reach in and give her a kiss that says I won't take no for an answer. I retrieve the long forgotten trophy from her bed and haul my duffle bag onto the opposite shoulder. "See you tomorrow."
~BPOV~
"That was totally hot," Rose comments, without lifting her eyes from her Econ book.
"Mmm," I respond, falling onto my bed and hugging Edward's jacket tightly around myself.
"You better get rid of Gil's jersey before Edward's next visit. Wow, does Little Cullen have a jealous streak!"
I remember Edward's line of poetry and shudder against the warmth of his jacket.
O)(O
"Of course, I'm planning to come, Bella. It's been on my calendar for months."
"That's what I was hoping," I respond, and I realize that I am quite happy that I'll get to see him so soon. "Where will you stay overnight?"
"Oh, we're just coming for the day on Saturday. I have to work Sunday. So, make plans for dinner. Whatever you want."
"We? As in, you and Sue Clearwater?"
"Yeah." I can practically hear him blushing across our digital connection. "That's okay, right?"
"That's great, Dad. I'll get two extra tickets to the game and meet you at the students' gate at 9."
"Perfect, Bells. Can't wait."
O)(O
I love Jonathan Safran Foer's writing style and his protagonist is compelling, but my eyes keep sliding over the top of Everything Is Illuminated to the 'CULLEN' draped over my desk chair. I know when I'm cooked; I'm not going to be productive tonight. I give Edward an experimental poke.
E- How's your trophy look on your bookshelf? b
B- Good, but where did my x go? –E
What x?
The one before the b.
I root back through my sent messages to my semi-drunk message from 1 am. Sure enough, there's a kiss that must've slipped through my filter in the wee hours of the morning.
I know now that I'm not a slut, because otherwise, I would've kept kissing Connor even after I realized he wasn't the one I really wanted to be kissing. But still, I crave Edward's kisses, which is entirely his own fault for being so damn addictive. So I mostly blame him for my shameless response.
Your x is here, silly, in Warwick 303.
I'm coming to get it, and Brophy better not be on your chest. I can practically hear the 'Grrrr'.
Luckily, I tucked away Gil's jersey on Rose's advice earlier, because as quickly as Edward moves down the hallway, I'm not sure I would've had time now. Edward knocks firmly not two minutes later, and when I open the door, he is all business. Without even looking to confirm that Rose isn't here, which thank goodness she's not, he's got eight fingers behind my neck and a thumb hooked firmly under each ear.
"Gimme," he says breathlessly, taking what he wants from me. As if I would've resisted.