Disclaimer: I own nothing, despite my many protests and wishes, related to Gilmore Girls.
A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews; you guys rock! A special thank you to my friend Chele for giving me the inspiration for a portion of this chapter. Now, on to the story!
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"Another Jack on the rocks, Mike." Jess signaled the bartender.
The bartender shook his head, but poured Jess another drink. "That's your third one, man. Didn't you learn your lesson last night?" He asked as he set the glass down in front of him.
Jess swirled the amber liquid in the glass he picked up. "Apparently not." He drank half of it down in one gulp.
Mike leaned against the bar. "What is it, girl troubles?"
Jess laughed dryly. "I appreciate it Mike, but this isn't 'Cheers' and your name isn't Sam."
"Just trying to help. You just usually don't come in here and get wasted."
"Well, maybe I figured out all the fun I was missing." Jess replied sarcastically.
Mike grinned. "Yeah, because drinking until you puke is a blast."
"Yeah, well you know what they say; Liquor before beer, never fear…beer before liquor, never sicker." Jess swallowed the last of his drink. "So I'll take a beer now."
Mike shook his head again, but handed Jess a cold bottle. He knew it was pointless to argue with him and that if he really wanted to get drunk he could find a million other bars in Philadelphia to get wasted in. At least at his bar, Mike could call one of the guys at Truncheon right around the corner to get Jess if he became too inebriated to make it home.
Jess took a swig of the beer and set it down before him. The bar was unusually empty for a Saturday night or so he assumed since he didn't really spend much time there. Occasionally he joined the rest of the guys here at the corner bar for a beer, but more often than not he opted to do his own thing which usually consisted of staying home with whatever book he was reading at the moment.
He couldn't remember a time when books weren't an integral part of his life. He remembered his elderly neighbor teaching him how to read when he was about 4 or 5 and his mother would leave him with her while she went out, or stayed in, with her latest boyfriend. He remembered sitting in the old woman's lap on her rocking chair and her praise at how quickly he was learning to read. He could see every wrinkle on her face, every gray hair on her head, but strangely he couldn't remember her name. She had died shortly after he had mastered the beginner readers she had taught him out of, and his mother hadn't been able to find another baby-sitter so books became his companion when he was left to fend for himself. He could pretend the dark shadows or the noises he heard didn't scare him by escaping into the different worlds his books provided.
Escape and solace…that's what his novels were to him. He would forget the odor of marijuana in the apartment, stepping over his mother's drunken form passed out on the floor, the screaming from the fight she had gotten into with whatever loser she had brought home, and then the squeaking of the mattress in her room when they made up. He could completely lose himself for a while before reality came back to slap him in the face.
By the time he was 12, he had read books most college students hadn't. Tolstoy, Salinger, Kerouac, Hemingway, Dumas, Proust…those were a few of the many authors he had read by that young age. His taste in literature varied to whatever mood he was in, but a book was never far from his reach.
Unfortunately, tonight no book could work its' usual magic. He had tried, but eventually given up and headed out for a walk when he found himself in front of the corner bar. He had thought maybe a drink or two would help him sleep, but instead had decided to get drunk and forget.
He was about to ask Mike for another beer when the door opened and a group of women entered the bar, giggling noisily. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the beer in his hand, taking a final swig before indicating he wanted another.
The group had made its' way to a corner table and Jess could see them eyeing him appreciatively out of the corner of his eye.
A petite blonde sauntered to the bar and asked the bartender for a round of rum and coke's for her table. While Mike was making the drinks, she leaned towards Jess slightly and tried to get his attention.
"Hey there." She drawled in a soft southern accent.
He nodded and forced a tight-lipped smile. "Hey."
"Is this a good bar? I'm not from around here." She continued.
Jess still hadn't looked at her, but kept his eyes on the new bottle Mike had placed before him. "Good as any."
"Are you just shy or are you usually this talkative?" she quipped.
"Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but I really just want to be by myself right now." Jess responded, finally looking at her.
"Well, if you change your mind, my name's Alyssa." She smiled and took the drinks Mike had set in front of her. "I'll be over there with my friends hoping you come over." She winked at him before rejoining her friends.
Mike stopped in front of Jess again. "What's wrong with you, man? That girl was hot."
Jess chuckled. "Strictly a matter of opinion."
Mike shook his head before walking away. "Whatever, man."
He couldn't deny that this Alyssa was attractive. She was petite with long blonde hair and warm brown eyes, her short skimpy dress not leaving much to the imagination and a few years ago he probably would have taken her up on the obvious offer she was making, but now…now he just wasn't interested. She just couldn't compare to Rory…no one could.
He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and took another drink from his beer bottle. Rory. He had said goodbye to her earlier and meant it. She was now free to live her life without any interruption from him, and what was he going to do? Sit and pine for her for the rest of his life?
He took a long drink and set the beer bottle before him. He couldn't believe he was such an idiot. He wanted…no, needed to get on with his life. He was just going to make himself more miserable if he compared every woman he encountered to Rory. No one was ever going to measure up to those standards.
Suddenly a diversion named Alyssa didn't seem so bad. He signaled Mike to bring him another beer and a rum and coke. He handed Mike a few bills and grabbing both drinks made his way over to the girls' table, where Alyssa sat staring at him with a smirk on her face.
"Change your mind?" she asked as Jess set the rum and coke in front of her.
He returned her smirk. "Looks like."
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Rory walked into the kitchen where her mother was scraping plates into the garbage. All the guests had gone home and Luke had finally managed to drag himself up to bed.
"Need some help, Mom?"
Lorelei looked up and rolled her eyes at her daughter. "Have I taught you nothing? When it's your special day, you're supposed to sit around and watch everybody else work!"
"Ah, I knew there was something I was forgetting."
Lorelei put the last plate in the sink, poured two cups of coffee and set them down on the kitchen table before sitting down herself and indicating for Rory to take a seat as well.
"So honey, hell of a party wasn't it?"
Rory forced a smile. "Yup."
Lorelei took a sip of her coffee. "I can't believe you just graduated. It's amazing!"
Rory sipped her coffee slowly and nodded.
Lorelei narrowed her eyes in concern. "Okay daughter-of-mine, spill it. What's got you so quiet?"
Rory sat there for a moment deciding on how best to break the news to her mother. She knew Lorelei and Logan had gotten off to a rocky start and her mother had disliked him for a very long time, but lately they had seemed to develop a sort of easy rapport, even joking with each other at times. She just wasn't sure how her mother was going to handle what she had to say.
"Rory?" Lorelei prodded.
Rory took a deep breath. "Well, actually there is something I want to tell you."
"You can tell me anything, hon. What is it?"
"Logan proposed." Rory blurted before she had a chance to chicken out.
Lorelei sat there for a moment, trying to absorb what she had just been told, and Rory saw a moment's hesitation before Lorelei leaped out of her seat and threw her arms around her daughter.
"Oh, honey! I'm so happy for you!" She hugged Rory tightly. "Congratulations, baby!"
Rory tried to pull back from her mother and speak, but Lorelei was babbling now. "Wow, this is amazing! You just graduated from Yale and the same night Logan proposes…what a day! I can't believe my baby is getting married."
"Mom…"
"Thank God I got married before you, can you imagine what Emily would have to say if I hadn't?"
"Mom…"
"We'll have to start planning right away because the Huntzbergers' being so hoity-toity, I'm sure they'll want a big society wedding and…"
"Mom!" Rory yelled.
Lorelei blinked. "What?"
"I said no." Rory couldn't look up to gauge her mother's reaction.
"Oh, thank God."
Rory's head snapped up. "What?"
Lorelei was slumped back in her chair. "You heard me."
"Why would you say that?" Rory asked.
Lorelei leaned forward towards Rory. "Honey, you've been through a lot these last few weeks. Accepting Logan's proposal right now would be wrong."
Rory sighed. "I…I broke up with Logan, Mom."
Lorelei's eyes widened. "What?"
Tears started to stream down Rory's face as the words came tumbling out. "I told him about the offer for the internship at the 'New York Times' and how I was planning on taking it, but he said his father could get me a real job at any newspaper I wanted. I saw my whole life laid out on a silver platter in front of me. Logan relies on his father's connections too much…I don't want to be a trophy wife!" She cried.
"Whoa, honey, I don't think that's what he meant." Lorelei interrupted.
"Don't you see? That's how it starts! Logan likes being in his high society world, but I don't! I thought I did, but I realized today that it's not what I really want. Everything was just happening so fast it felt like things were spinning out of control!" Rory sobbed.
Lorelei patted Rory's hand soothingly. "It's okay, honey."
Rory let the sobs subside and sat in silence for a moment before speaking again. "Jess was at graduation today." She said softly.
Lorelei sat up a little straighter. "He was?"
Rory nodded. "He…He came to say goodbye."
"What do you mean goodbye?"
"He said that he needed closure and that neither of us could be happy if we kept waltzing in and out of each other's lives so he was going to stay away. For good." Tears started streaming down her face again.
"Rory, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. Even with yourself. Can you do that?"
Rory nodded mutely.
"Do you want to be with Jess?"
Rory sat there, seriously considering her mother's question and she felt every fiber in her being responding before she was able to say a word. "Yes." She said softly.
Lorelei turned her daughter around to face her. "Why did you go back to Logan then, sweetie?"
"Because I was scared!" Rory let the sobs rock her body once more. "Because I thought if I let Jess in one more time he would leave me again and this time I don't think I could have handled it!"
Lorelei wrapped her arms around her daughter once more, trying to soother her. She had never seen Rory like this and it was breaking her heart to see the pain she was in.
"Logan was safe…I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I used him because I couldn't risk being with Jess." She whispered as she regained some semblance of control.
"But you can't help who you fall in love with, Rory. Take it from me."
"I know that now, but it's too late. Jess doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."
Lorelei sighed and grabbed her daughter by the shoulders. "Honey, Jess hasn't stopped loving you. If he came to say goodbye to you today that just means he loves you so much he was willing to let you go so you could have a chance to be happy; even if it meant it wasn't with him."
"I couldn't be happy without him, Mom. I've tried. It just doesn't work."
"Does that mean you're really ready to risk being with him now?" Lorelei inquired.
"I don't know how I lived without him these past few years, Mom. I'm done being stupid and running away from him." She looked into her mother's eyes as if waiting for her disapproval. "I love Jess so much it hurts. He's the one, Mom."
Lorelei stood up and walked over to her purse, rummaging around in it. Rory looked on, confused as to what her mother was doing. Lorelei returned to her seat and placed something in Rory's hand.
She looked down and saw it was the keys to her mother's Jeep. "What…?"
Lorelei smiled softly. "Your car is still in New Haven. I thought you might need a way to get to Philadelphia."
Rory's eyes filled with tears and she hugged her mother tightly. "Thank you."
Lorelei knew Rory meant she was grateful for more than just the car keys. "Go get your man."
Rory flashed Lorelei a big smile before turning and running out of the house and towards the Jeep. She got in the car and backed out of the driveway as quickly as she could.
She had no idea what she was going to say to Jess once she saw him, but she had the entire drive to Philadelphia to think about it.
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A/N: Feedback is delicious!
