The Closest to Heaven Chapter 10, a hey arnold fanfic

[A/N: THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! IT'S FINALLY DONE, AHHHHHHHHHH! I'm freaking out.

But anyway, just go ahead and read and I'll make comments at the end ^_^]

March 23rd

The scents, sounds, and sights of Spring were blossoming as Helga walked out of the house that morning. The air was warm but there was a chilly breeze that came and went and Helga zipped her jacket up halfway to block out the wind. She had intended to leave the house a little bit earlier that day so as to catch Arnold before any of their friends tried to talk to him but that had fallen through. As soon as she'd come down the stairs her mom had needed help getting to the bathroom. The painkillers she was on made her even more loopy and off-balance than usual so Helga had supported Miriam's weight on one shoulder as she hobbled to the bathroom, one crutch supporting her on the opposite side.

Helga had left her mom lying on the couch with the TV remote, a bag of chips and a gallon jug of tea. She wasn't supposed to have alcohol while she was taking the painkillers but the cynical side of Helga wouldn't have been surprised if she came home to Miriam sprawled out on the floor because she'd tried to hobble over to the liquor cabinet on her own.

As Helga walked to school, she contemplated everything that had been going on.

Okay, when I get there, I'm just gonna pull him aside and tell him. Simple as that. Just the thought of confessing to Arnold made her heart pound in her chest. Or actually… maybe I could ask him to come out with me after school. As long as I kept him away from the bowling alley and away from Lila's street, he should be fine, right? Then I could tell him my secret and not worry about anyone at school finding out! At least not right away… but maybe Arnold wouldn't spill the beans. He didn't before, right? But I mean, there was so much going on at the time, my little um… outburst… probably ranked low compared to everything else. Gah, why don't they give you some kind of user's manual when you get second chances like this? Um, hello up there? Is there an Idiot's Guide to Time-Travel Do-Overs? Criminy… Oh well, it… it should be okay.I just have to put my big girl panties on and handle this like a Pataki. Fear is the enemy. Take no prisoners. Ugh, I sound like I'm going into battle rather than contemplating my undying love for this stupid football-head. I'm gonna need a miracle.

By the time Helga finally got to school, Arnold was already surrounded by their friends talking and laughing. Phoebe, Gerald, Rhonda, Nadine, and Arnold were standing in a circle several feet away from the building's main entrance. As Helga got closer, she found herself smiling as she gazed upon Arnold's face. She couldn't hear their conversation but she could hear him laugh. It was warm and soft, like a blanket she wished to wrap herself in as she sat in front of a cozy fireplace on a snowy day. If by some cruel fate she was unable to keep him from death's clutches, it was this image of him she'd carry with her – Arnold's happiness, radiating out and warming the hearts of everyone it touched.

"Good morning, Helga!" Phoebe called out and Helga ignored the uncomfortable sense of de ja vu she experienced as she approached the group.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga greeted her best friend with a half-smile as Phoebe ushered her into the circle. "What's up?"

"Oh, we're just discussing spring break," Phoebe chimed.

"It sounds like you guys had fun," Nadine commented.

Helga took a deep breath. "Hey Arnold, you got a minute?" Just ask him to meet you somewhere after school. It's not that big a deal. Totally chill. Nothing to freak out about. Helga tried to reassure herself despite the way her hands trembled in her pockets.

"Oh yeah, sure," He said, stepping out of the group.

"Hold up," Gerald called as Arnold was about to follow Helga. "You still down for the bowling alley, right?"

"No!" Helga screeched, then clamped a hand over her mouth. "I mean, uhh…hehe…" She chuckled nervously. "I mean, why would you want to go to the bowling alley? It's dirty and over-priced and… and…" She scrambled for something convincing as her peers eyed her strangely. "And we haven't done karaoke at the club yet! That'd be my vote," She nodded, as if she hadn't just freaked out like a complete lunatic.

Rhonda gave Helga an unimpressed once-over. "And who, pray-tell, insinuated that you were included in this plan?"

"Rhonda," Arnold said in a scolding voice. "Don't be rude. Of course she's included; she's our friend!"

"Pfft," Rhonda scoffed, rolling her eyes as she conceded. "Whatever,"

"I'm fine with karaoke," Phoebe piped up sweetly.

Gerald shrugged and nodded. "Cool with me,"

"I'll text Lila and let her know the change in venue," Nadine said, whipping her cell phone out of her jacket pocket.

"So what did you wanna tell me, Helga?" Arnold said to Helga, snapping her attention away from the group standing a few feet away.

"Oh, uh!" She stammered. "Actually…" Wait a minute… this could be perfect. God, I love my subconscious. The perfect way to confess to Arnold! I'll find a song – the perfect song! – and tonight at karaoke I'll sing it and he'll instantly know but then I'll pull him aside once everyone has gone home and confess and it will be beautiful, perfect, and everything he deserves. I'll keep him with me the whole time so there's never any danger of him getting hurt and he won't die and everything will be FINE! Man, what a great plan!

"Um, Helga?" Arnold waved a hand in front of Helga's face and she snapped out of her daze.

"Huh?!" She startled. "What? Oh, um, sorry… actually, I'll tell you tonight! You're gonna come to karaoke, right?"

Arnold smiled, "Yeah, it sounds like fun. I'm surprised you suggested that; I didn't know you liked to sing,"

Helga flushed slightly. "Oh, uh, I-I, I mean, it's okay," She put on a nonchalant air. "It's mostly fun to watch people get up and make fools out of themselves, you know…"

"Whatever you say, Helga," Arnold shook his head, smiling.

"You better believe it," Helga smirked. "So you're definitely gonna come?"

Arnold chuckled, "Yeah, I'll come,"

The first period warning bell sounded, signaling it was time to head to class, and most of the students congregated outside began to disperse and head toward the main doors.

"Okay, good," Helga nodded in a business-like manner and started walking toward the entrance as Arnold fell into step alongside her.

Helga fought to withhold the girlish grin that threatened to overtake her face, accompanied by a swoon, at the realization that Arnold was actually walking her to class.

Oh Arnold, if you only knew the way my heart trembles and cries out for you… Alas, you soon will, my love.

"This is my stop," Helga looked up at the door leading to her history classroom. "Um, I guess I'll see you later… right?"

"Right," Arnold nodded, smiling. "I'll see you later, Helga,"

"Bye," Helga said, her hand giving a small wave as she watched him continue down the hallway before she finally let out the deep sigh she'd been holding in.

. . . . . . . .

The rest of the day went by without incident. Helga was anxiously waiting to get out of school and figure out the details of her plan for the evening - namely, the song she was going to use to confess her love for Arnold. Even if she was terribly wrong and jumping to conclusions, she used the giddy lovesickness spurred on by the notion that the song Arnold sent her was supposed to mean something to break through her own doubt and nervousness.

When the final bell rang, Helga burst out the door and down the hall while the bell's final echoes bounced against the walls. She certainly wasn't looking forward to going home and playing nursemaid to Miriam's stupefied self but she was abuzz with nerves and excitement for Arnold. She'd managed to convince herself that as long as he stayed with her he would be fine so she was trying not to let worry consume her. Instead, it rested in the back of her mind, trying to nip at her as she swatted it away, paying attention to more pleasant things. Everything was going to be perfect. This night was going to be completely different if she had anything to do with it. And she did. She definitely did.

Lost in her thoughts and just as she was rounding the final turn before getting to the lobby, Helga crashed into someone and stumbled backwards.

"Arnold!" She yelped, then clamped her hand over her mouth, the sense of de ja vu feeling particularly strange once again.

"Sorry, Helga!" Arnold said, readjusting his backpack which he'd been carrying over one shoulder. "I wasn't paying attention,"

"I-It's fine," Helga snapped back to attention. "No harm done,"

"So I'll see you at the karaoke club in a few hours?" Arnold asked, smiling, as she started walking toward the main doors and he walked alongside her.

"Yeah," Helga nodded. "8 pm,"

"Cool," Arnold grinned at her and as they exited the building, their paths separated. "See you tonight,"

If you don't show up at 8 pm sharp, I'll be dragging your ass there myself by 8:01. Helga thought to herself, smiling at him as he walked away.

. . . . . . . .

Despite Helga's initial protests, she'd agreed to ride along with Phoebe and Gerald to the karaoke club. Not that she really disliked Gerald – he was her best friend's boyfriend, after all – but they'd never had the best of relationships and she thought it was awkward. Which it had been, but it hadn't been that big a deal. Everyone met up outside of the karaoke bar before going in. Nadine and Lila had ridden along with Rhonda in her family's limo and Stinky and Harold had caught a ride with Arnold in his grandpa's Packard.

The place wasn't as crowded as it usually was during open mic nights but there was still a pretty good turnout. The gang found a couple tables close to the stage and settled in, pulling over a couple extra chairs to accommodate the large group.

There was a DJ off to the side of the stage with a computer set up on a big black case, probably what the karaoke screen and stand had been stored in. There were extra speakers set up on each side of the stage toward the front and two microphones hung from little clasps on either side of the karaoke stand.

"Alright folks, you know what to do," The DJ spoke into his own personal microphone. "Books are goin' around, grab a slip of paper and a pencil and write your name and song number on the sheet,"

Nadine reached for one of the books that was sitting in the middle of their table. "Do you guys have anything in mind?" She asked as she perused the pages of the book.

Helga waited a moment before showing interest in the book – she didn't want to appear too eager. Meanwhile she noticed Arnold had found a book and the guys started to discuss as well.

Please be in here… Helga silently prayed as she flipped through the pages of the karaoke book for the song she'd chosen earlier that afternoon. She knew she could sing it because it wasn't terribly complicated and it seemed like a good song to pour her heart into – or at least, well, it was a start. Yes, it's here! Thank god… now I just gotta hope that the person who goes before me sounds like a dying cat so that I don't look like a buffoon up there.

Helga, Nadine, Gerald, and Stinky all went up and put their names in for the first round and as they waited their turns, they settled down at the tables to chat.

Oh come on… Helga griped in her head as she watched person after person go up to sing. She wasn't sure how many people were ahead of her – she hadn't watched to see when or how many other people submitted their names. She leaned an elbow against the table and rested her head in that hand tapping her fingers impatiently against the tabletop as she watched.

"So Lila," Stinky drawled. "How's Sid doin' today? I didn't see him in school,"

Lila looked at him and gave a small smile. "He's tired but doing better. He says he caught some type of bug and couldn't keep anything down. I'll certainly let him know that you asked about him, though," She said sweetly.

"What song did you pick?" Arnold tapped Helga on her shoulder as someone up on stage serenaded the crowd with an off-key version of 'Don't Stop Believin'.

Helga jumped out of her skin at Arnold's touch. "What! Oh, umm…" She paused, blushing the slightest bit but thankful that the lighting was relatively dim. "You'll see," A small smirk crept across her lips.

"I'll see?" Arnold chuckled. "Is it a surprise or something?"

Helga felt a familiar flutter in her chest, a boldness she wasn't used to… but she liked it. "Maybe," She looked away innocently and Arnold smiled which only caused her blush to deepen.

"Stinky, where is Stinky?" The DJ called up as the other singer left the stage. "You're up, Stinky,"

"Garsh, that didn't take too long at all!" Stinky said as he stood and went up on stage.

"Hey uhh, Arnold?" Helga spoke quietly as Stinky began to sing a country song. The table they were sitting at had emptied out relative to the other one when Stinky went up on stage and Lila went to the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Arnold responded, glancing at her as he watched his friend sing.

"Remember that uhh… that thing I wanted to talk to you about?" She asked nervously, wringing her hands together under the table.

Arnold nodded. "Yeah,"

"It's umm…" She took a slow breath in and out. "It's kind of… personal… maybe after everyone's done here… youandIcouldtalkaloneforalittlebit?" Her words rolled out like they were stuck together with glue. Her heart was thumping in her chest and she only hoped Arnold couldn't tell how nervous she was… then again, she felt like she was looking and sounding like a loon so who knew?

Arnold looked at her like he was trying to figure her out… or maybe he was just intrigued? Either way, he responded, "Sure, that's fine," and Helga quietly let out a breath.

Lila came back from the bathroom and Stinky returned to their table after he finished singing and another person went up on stage to murder 'I Will Survive'.

Helga could feel every nerve in her body tingling as time passed. She'd be up on stage soon and the anxiety made her mouth feel dry, her throat tight and she wondered if she'd just get up on stage and make a fool out of herself. She'd never considered herself a remarkable singer but that wasn't what karaoke was for, right? As long as she didn't sound worse than some of the people who'd gone up tonight then it'd be alright. Besides, she sang in the shower once in a while and she might not have been anything amazing but she could at least carry a note.

"Alright everybody, give it up for Helga!" The DJ called out to the crowd.

"You're up, Helga!" Lila patted Helga on the shoulder and smiled as Helga climbed out of her seat.

"Good luck," Arnold smiled at her and Helga thought her knees might buckle.

A surge of adrenaline had Helga's chest feeling tight and hollow, her blood pressure pulsing, and every fine blonde hair on her arms was standing on end. She climbed the steps to the stage and took one of the microphones from their little clasp on the karaoke stand, waiting for the song to begin.

Her heart pounding in her chest made her feel like she could pass out and she willed herself to calm down.

This is the moment of truth. I can do this… I can do this… I can do this… Helga repeated over and over again in her head as the song began and she waited for her cue.

"Heart beats fast, colors and promises," Helga's voice shook as her hands gripping the mic trembled. "How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow,"

As she slowly eased into her words, the stage lights obscuring her view of the audience, her voice started to shake less.

"One step closer…" She sang softly. "I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more,"

Helga couldn't see her friends' faces very well or consistently but at one point she found Arnold's eyes and it could've been her imagination playing tricks on her but the look on his face made her believe he understood and that sent a shiver down her spine. She took a deep breath as the next verse approached.

"Time stands still, beauty in all she is. I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this," She was starting to become more comfortable in her voice. It helped that she couldn't see everyone's faces terribly well. She could deny it later but the whole thing felt… cathartic. "One… step… closer…"

This is it, I'm doing it. I'm really doing it. Helga marveled as she breezed through the chorus again. Even though she was, in a way, hiding behind the lyrics of a song, in her heart she was baring her soul to Arnold. Every emotion that'd lain repressed and shackled inside her was finding its key and flying away, floating atop the notes carried out of the speakers.

"And all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more," Helga sang passionately now, using the melody to purge herself of the pent up passion and love she'd harbored for so long.

Arnold was watching Helga with a look of perplexity, yet recognition, as her song went into an instrumental interlude. Something seemed to click. But he was distracted when Lila suddenly scooted her chair back from the table, her face contorted.

"Lila, are you okay?" Arnold asked but she didn't respond right away.

Arnold asked again, "Lila, what's wrong?" Lila shook her head and promptly vomited all over the floor, including Arnold's feet and the bottoms of his jeans.

The noise caught the attention of their friends as well as some of the people around them and most reacted with looks and comments of disgust.

"Shit, man," Gerald said when he noticed what had happened.

Helga was unaware of what was happening from her position on the stage. She could see some of her friends moving around but the lights in her eyes were bright and it was hard to tell who was who in the crowd.

"That is disgusting!" Rhonda turned up her nose and scooted her chair away, even though she was already seated at the next table over on the farthest side.

Lila moaned softly, clutching her stomach. "I'm sorry, Arnold," She uttered almost inaudibly.

"I-It's okay," Arnold said, trying to suppress his own disgust and ignore the nauseating smell coming from the floor and his shoes. He winced when he felt the liquid soak through the ankles of his pants.

"You should probably take her home," Nadine whispered loud enough for Arnold to hear her from across the two tables.

"Yeah, and change your clothes, man," Gerald said, scrunching up his nose.

Arnold nodded as he slowly stood up, trying not to think about the moist feeling in his shoes when he took a step. "Come on, Lila," He said, moving to help her get out of her chair. "Let's get you home,"

Lila nodded and allowed Arnold to usher her out of the club. "Hey Phoebe," Arnold caught the petite brunette's attention. "Could you let Helga know I'll be right back?"

Something seemed to click in Phoebe's mind and she shook her head. "Actually Arnold, perhaps you should wait?" She said quickly, trying to keep him as long as she could.

Arnold looked at her dubiously. "For what?"

"Oh, umm…" Phoebe stalled, trying to think of something. Even though she doubted Helga's worries, she still felt uneasy about Arnold leaving. Logically, she didn't think there was anything to be concerned about but she knew Helga would freak out if he left. "Does… does anyone have cab money?" Phoebe looked around at their friends, somewhat desperate.

"You wanna send Lila off in a cab when she's sick?" Gerald asked, incredulous. "Phoebe, that's a little rude…"

"Or we could take her home?" Phoebe offered.

"Let the man change his clothes!" Harold chimed in. "For all our sakes…"

"I'll be right back, I swear," Arnold said, heeding no one and helping Lila outside to his car.

As Helga's song faded out and the audience clapped for her, she replaced the microphone to its clasp and hurried down the stage steps.

"Ugh!" She exclaimed when she noticed the puddle of vomit on the floor. "What the hell?" She asked, then looked around. "Where's Arnold?" She whispered intensely into Phoebe's ear just as Phoebe stood up to meet her.

"He went to take Lila home!"

"What?" Helga's face blanched. No, no, no, no, no… "Why didn't you stop him?!"

"She threw up on him!" Phoebe exclaimed, though still trying to keep her voice down so that their conversation would remain somewhat private. "I tried to keep him from going but he said he'd be right back and he left!"

Without another word, Helga bolted out of the club and down the street, hoping she was following the same path Arnold had taken.

. . . . . . . .

Lila had texted her father on the way home to let him know she was sick so when Arnold pulled up in front of the house, he was already in the doorway waiting.

"Thank you, Arnold," Lila said weakly, clutching the old paper grocery bag Arnold had given her in case she needed to get sick again on the way home. "I'm… I'm so sorry about your shoes,"

"It's okay, Lila," Arnold said briefly. He really wanted to hurry up and change. "I hope you feel better,"

Arnold watched Lila meet her father at the door and sped off in the direction of home. He hadn't been driving for long, however, before he heard a loud pop and the car started to wobble, gradually slowing to a stop as Arnold struggled to control the car's direction.

"What?" Arnold exclaimed, getting out of the car and looking at the blown front driver's side tire. The streetlight above his head was burnt out and he reached into the car for the flashlight his grandpa kept under the seat. "No!" He groaned when he flipped the switch on, illuminating the mangled tire as he knelt down to inspect it. There was a large gash in the rubber where it had blown but it didn't appear that the rim had been affected.

Arnold didn't notice two shadowy figures approaching from the darkened alley behind him.

. . . . . . . .

No, god, please no! Helga was on the verge of tears as she ran. What would have been only a five minute drive took longer on foot than Helga cared to think about. Please be okay, please be okay… Helga pleaded in her head, panting as she pushed her legs to keep going.

She traced the quickest route she knew to Lila's house, surveying the area for any sign of Arnold, Lila, or the Packard. When she got to Lila's house and saw the light on in what she remembered to be Lila's room, she sprinted in the direction of Arnold's house. Her heart was pounding and her legs were begging her to slow down but the sinking feeling of dread pushed her on. She couldn't stop. She felt like she couldn't breathe and she wasn't sure if that was because of how hard she was running or whether it was fear consuming her from the inside out.

As she turned down one street, she saw the silhouette of a car up ahead, parked on the left hand side of the road beneath a broken streetlight.

Arnold… Helga's heart sank into her stomach and she willed herself to run faster but her legs wouldn't allow her to go any faster than she'd already gone. She stopped abruptly at the car, barely keeping herself from colliding hard into the vehicle as she panted, scouring the inside for Arnold.

Helga turned around just as she heard the sound of something rustling up against a trashcan in the dark alley.

"Arnold!" She cried out, unable to fight her tears any longer. She darted over to where he was lying between two trash cans. His eye was beginning to swell and darken and there was a large blood stain on his shirt that was widening with every breath he took. Helga could see the movement of Arnold's blood beneath the fabric before it soaked into the texture of his shirt. She felt dizzy and there was nothing left holding her back from sobbing.

"Helga," Arnold said weakly, his voice raspy and his breaths haggard and shallow.

"Don't speak," She shook her head, tears falling and mixing with the blood in his shirt as she gently put a finger to his lips. "Y-You're gonna be okay," She whimpered as she fumbled with her jacket, trying to figure out where she'd put her phone before dialing 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 operator, what is your emergency?" A woman answered on the other line.

Helga cleared her throat and tried to speak clearly though her own breathing was punctuated by suppressed sobs. "I'm in an alley between 43rd and Main Street. My friend has been attacked and he's bleeding out. Please hurry!" Helga hung up the phone and grabbed Arnold's hand. It was still warm and blood that had gotten on it was now drying onto Helga's palm. His eyelids were heavy and his chest shuddered with every breath.

"I'm so sorry, Arnold," Helga cried painfully, her voice breaking as she held his hand close to her face. "Please hold on, please hold on,"

"It's… it's okay, Helga," Arnold's voice was small and thin, his eyes barely open but he slowly turned his head in her direction.

Helga wordlessly, vigorously shook her head as more tears trickled down the sides of her face. "Arnold, I… I… I love you," The words, finally out in the open, made her feel like she'd had the wind knocked out of her. "I've always loved you. I-I'm so sorry. Y-you mean everything to me and I'm a fucking idiot. An idiot and a coward," Helga dragged in a haggard breath and cried as she exhaled. "Ever since the day we've met you've been… you have no idea how… y-you saved me, Arnold and… and I couldn't save you…" Helga clutched Arnold's hand tighter, bringing it up to her face again and kissing his knuckles as her tears slid down her cheeks and neck. Her blonde hair fell ungracefully over her, forming a veil of sorts as strands stuck to the salty trails running down her face. "I love you, Arnold. I love you," She whispered into his hand and was mildly startled when she felt him move his hand. He'd been silent up until this point and she wasn't even sure if he'd heard her but he reached up, his arm shaking as he cupped her face with his hand and attempted to wipe at a tear with his thumb.

"I know," he rasped and Helga felt like a wave had picked her up and crashed down on her.

"Y-you do?!" She asked, incredulously, her voice shaking as his hand fell and she scooped it back up in her own.

He didn't respond right away and Helga pushed, "Arnold?!"

"I feel dizzy," He said, his eyelids fluttering closed just as Helga heard sirens in the distance.

"Hold on, Arnold!" She demanded, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "The paramedics are almost here. Hold on, Football-head, please!" Her voice rose in pitch and she gingerly caressed the side of his face with one hand. "Please don't leave me," She whispered inaudibly.

The ambulance pulled up next to the Packard and three paramedics jumped out. One rolled a stretcher over to the edge of the alley as the other two immediately took their positions on either side of Arnold. Helga reluctantly let go of Arnold's hand and watched with a heavy heart as the paramedics checked him out.

"He's going into shock, we gotta get him to the hospital," the man said.

Another listened to his breathing, "Right lung's collapsed," She said and the two of them carefully lifted Arnold onto the stretcher. Helga felt deep pangs in her heart as she watched Arnold wince when they moved him.

The paramedic who had brought the stretcher over addressed her, "Are you family?" He asked.

Helga opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Her eyes were watching Arnold as the paramedics lifted the stretcher into the ambulance. The last thing she saw was a tuft of yellow hair disappearing inside the vehicle. "I-I'm… no, I'm his friend," She managed.

"I'm sorry but only family can ride along," the paramedic looked at her sympathetically. "Does he have any family you can contact?"

"Please let me come!" Helga grabbed the paramedic by the collar and a new wave of tears flooded her eyes. "Please!" She begged but the man took a step back, gently removing her hands from his shirt.

"I'm sorry, we've got to get him to the hospital," He said as he jogged toward the ambulance. "You can meet us there,"

Helga ran to the back of the ambulance and looked up into the brightly lit vehicle. They'd already hooked Arnold up with an oxygen mask and had his vitals up on a monitor.

"Arnold!" Helga cried out painfully and the doors closed just as she ran up to them. She fell against the doors and sobbed, her eyes blurry with tears. "Please don't die!" The bright white light of the ambulance was blinding and slowly everything started to feel far away. "Don't go! Don't leave me!" She called out and all she could see was the fluorescent lights shining through two small windows. The ambulances siren started to wail and Helga fell into a heap in the street, her shoulders shaking with her cries. She looked up again and the light seemed brighter, its beams widening farther and farther out as the siren became a distant echo.