Chapter 10: Farewell, Stardew Valley

"We'll take good care of your animals while you're gone," Marnie promised. "Shane's got a real knack for raising chickens."

"Thanks, I really appreciate this." I smiled nervously, hoping that she wouldn't ask too many questions.

Marnie sighed wistfully. "I'm no stranger to love and loss…sometimes all you can do is take a break to clear your head."

"I guess so. I mean, it's not good for me or my animals if I'm not a hundred percent focused on my tasks at hand, right?"

"Right." Marnie crossed her arms. "So, you're leaving tomorrow?"

"That's right. I have all my arrangements made over there."

"Well…you're definitely gonna be missed over here. Come back as soon as you're ready, all right?"

I had already signed the lease for a tiny studio apartment in Zuzu City. I enlisted the help of Marnie and Shane to care for my beloved animals. All of my fall crops were harvested and sold. I just had to finish packing my things, and I would be leaving Stardew Valley the next day.

I wanted to go to bed early and make the day go by faster, but I couldn't sleep. I changed out of my pajamas and back into my clothes from earlier. Careful not to wake my house pet, I stepped outside. The crisp fall air nipped at my face – winter was just around the corner. I headed north through the backwoods, where no one but Linus ever ventured, enjoying the tranquility of the night. Before I knew it, I emerged in the mountains, passing behind the Carpenter's Shop. I detoured by the lake, where a dark figure stood by the water. My first instinct was to slip away unseen, but my feet lead me forward before I could stop them.

Sure enough, it was Sebastian – no one else would be outdoors at such an ungodly hour. He noticed me approaching, but refused to meet my eyes. "Why do you keep bothering me? I'm trying to forget about you."

I had no good reason to be there, but I figured I might as well clear the air about what Abigail had told me. "I'm sorry I assumed there was something between you and Abigail. I was wrong about both of you." That doesn't excuse you from assuming I was unfaithful, but at least I can clear my conscience.

"I don't care about that," he sighed. "You were willing to believe anything negative about me to justify the fact that I didn't live up to your expectations. You're not the first person to give me that."

"That's not true!" I argued. "You were perfect for me…maybe I let things get inside my head." I moved closer to him, but he ignored my presence in favor of lighting up a cigarette.

"I didn't marry you to get out of the house," he added. "I loved you…" His voice trailed off, then he took a long drag.

I wanted to ask him if he still loved me, but I knew there was no point to it. "I loved you too…maybe at the sacrifice of myself." Once again, the realization came with the words. Maybe this is how it has to be, so we can both grow as adults.

"I'm kind of tired right now. I don't want to argue." He flicked his cigarette into the water. The tiny red cherry extinguished with a faint hiss, killing the final light in the darkness. He turned to walk back home without saying goodbye. I watched him from the edge of the lake until he disappeared into his house, then started back the way I came.

The next morning, I got up early to care for my animals one more time and say goodbye to them. I wondered if they would miss me…if anyone would miss me. I had no return goal set. Perhaps I'll never return. It's better if everyone forgets about me – or at least, the people I've hurt. I arrived at the bus stop a half-hour early, hoping that no one would catch wind of my departure. Eventually, Pam sauntered over to the bus stop.

"All aboard for Calico Desert and Zuzu City," she called loudly, even though I was the only other person around. I approached her with the bus ticket I had purchased from the kiosk earlier. She took my ticket. "Climb aboard."

The bus was empty. I took a seat near the front, next to a window facing Pelican Town. Part of me had hoped that someone would come to see me off, but I wasn't surprised that no one came. Pam revved the engine, then the motor settled into a steady hum. I watched the trees slide away as we pulled into a long tunnel. I wanted Sebastian to be happy, I thought somberly. I thought that making him happy would make me happy forever…now I realize that I need more time to figure out who I really want to be.