Chapter Ten

Mrs. Yamato slid the cup of tea across the island towards a mute Cagalli who simply watched as the tea mixed with the warm water in a swirling motion. She felt numb all over. Mrs. Yamato sat next to her and ran her fingers through her hair to pull it away from her blanched face, her cheeks no longer holding on to the pinch of hysteria. Kira's adoptive mother, now hers, pulled her to her in a one-armed hug and kissed her brow. Cagalli had witness this before with her and Kira once, the day of her Father's funeral, when Cagalli had been in no mood to be friendly and lashed out at her biological brother and his mother had nursed the wound she had opened. Her heart stuttered for a moment with guilt before it vanished in to the abyss that was her empty shell of a mind.

"Drink the tea sweetheart, you'll feel better." Obediently, Cagalli lifted the teacup to her lips and nursed it. The water was just the perfect temperature and there was the exact amount of sugar she liked but it tasted bland to her now. She placed the cup down and watched as it rippled out from the edge.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cagalli shook her head. "Well I think we should. Perhaps I'll make an appointment with Dr. Pal."

At the prospect of sitting down to talk with a shrink Cagalli cringed. "Please don't." Her throat was raw from crying and one sip of tea had yet to fix that.

Mrs. Yamato smiled at her sweetly. "Darling I think we should. It hasn't been six months since he passed and you've done everything possible to keep all your emotions bottled up, it isn't healthy. Now I know how teenagers are and I'm sure that under normal circumstances I should just leave you alone, but this is different. You're my family now, Cagalli, and I take care of my children."

A little lump formed in Cagalli's throat so she washed it down with a few gulps of the cooling tea. "I don't like talking to strangers."

Her – could she call her Mom? – Guardian brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm not a stranger. Talk to me."

She had given up fighting, the little rampage in her bedroom had proven that she wasn't handling things as well as she could be, and decided that maybe it was time to give in. "I've been having nightmares." She confessed.

"And what happens in your nightmares?" Mrs. Yamato stroked her shoulder.

She sighed. "Papa. I see him all the time. He's always asking me if I've forgotten about him, if I've given up, and I can't answer. I want to talk to him." Her chest gave a tight squeeze as her emotions started to resurface.

"Have you given up? Have you forgotten about him?" Mrs. Yamato's stare was challenging, the same look she gave Kira when he was having an issue with his English homework. "I don't think you have, I don't think you ever will, because you Cagalli, well you're a fighter." She smiled.

"No. I guess not."

"Good." She smiled warmly. "That can't be all though?"

Cagalli played with the little handle of the teacup debating if she should tell her about Athrun or not. Finally she gave in. "There's a boy."

Mrs. Yamato's eyes lit up with curiosity. "A boy? Do tell."

Cagalli sighed. "Athrun."

"Oh I remember him. I met his Mother not that long ago."

Cagalli was about to correct her, that she was his stepmother, but decided it was in her best interest to let it slide. "My head is so full of him that I keep thinking I have forgotten about Papa."

Mrs. Yamato looked at her and slowly she watched as the little wheels of understanding clicked in to place. "Cagalli, dear, you're sixteen. Boys are a part of that. There will always be a boy that might make you feel like you've forgotten, but just because you've started to move on with your life doesn't make that true. You're a teenager. This is what teenagers do." She sighed. "I know it might feel like you're betraying him or leaving him behind just because a new person has moved in, and I'm sure with how fast everything has changed for you that is exactly what it feels like, it doesn't mean that you love your Father any less. You're only human sweetheart. You have to give yourself and your heart a chance to live again, to breathe again."

"I just don't want all this teenager crap to make me …"

"Make you what, Cagalli?"

"I don't want to forget. I love my Dad, I always will. I don't want hormones and boys to make me forget what he taught me about life and being myself. I won't let it." Her eyes stung with the threat of new tears.

Mrs. Yamato hummed a little tune and cradled Cagalli against her chest. "Your Father would like Athrun. He's a good kid. Just, let yourself be a kid too every now and then, but always think about what your Father would say before you act. Cagalli, you are a brilliant and beautiful young woman and he would be so proud of how you've handled things up until now. You have to give yourself a break. Do you like this Athrun character?" A little bubble of laughter rolled over the two of them and Cagalli nodded. "Then what happened?"

She blushed. "He kissed me."

"First kiss?"

Cagalli shrugged. "First real kiss."

"That's a pretty big deal." Mrs. Yamato smirked. "What happened?"

"I burst in to tears." The shock of the memory sent her sliding back in to the abyss but Mrs. Yamato gave her a tight squeeze.

"What happened after that?"

"He brought me back here and a tore apart my bedroom."

"What would your Father say about that?"

"He would have liked Athrun." Cagalli shrugged. "He would have grounded me for tearing my room apart though."

"Well I won't ground you for tearing apart your room because I am happy that you finally told me what's going on. As for Athrun, maybe if you talked to him he would understand. As I come to know, he lost his mother at quite a young age, so perhaps he can relate."

"How do parents know so much about their kids' lives and still know nothing at the same time?"
Mrs. Yamato smirked. "We play dumb."

"Good answer."

She scowled at the clock on the stove for a minute. "Now, I don't suppose you're up to go back to school now, hm?" Cagalli shook her head no. "I wouldn't think so. I still think you should have a session with Dr. Pal? I just believe, in my heart, that talking to him will be far more rewarding than talking to me."

Cagalli gawked at her. "I thought – why?"

"I'm not a doctor, sweetheart, just a Mother. There is really only so much I can do for you with a cup of a tea and a warm hug."

"But I liked the tea and the hug." Cagalli could hear herself whining and snapped internally at herself for being so weak but Mrs. Yamato didn't react to it.

"I know." She kissed Cagalli on the brow again. Argument over. Cagalli was going to have to deal with talking to Dr. Pal again and she wasn't going to like it. "But Cagalli, I rarely get to have these heart-to-hearts about boys so if you ever have a boy problem you want to talk about I am all ears. If you have any problems, I am all ears. I just want you to know that you can always come to me, for anything and everything, no matter what the topic. I'm so happy to have you here with us."

Cagalli was speechless. She went back to nursing her tea while the only mother figure she would ever have let her fingers play through Cagalli's messy, blonde hair over and over again in a soothing fashion.

"Hey Cag!" Kira smiled as he walked through the front door and found her curled up on the dais with her history textbook. "When did you get home?"

"Kira, leave your sister alone, she's doing her homework." Mrs. Yamato snipped from the kitchen.

Kira glanced back and forth between his mother and his twin sister before shrugging and dropping down on the little loveseat across from Cagalli and pulled out his own homework. Apparently doing homework four feet from her didn't constitute as bugging her. He had his chemistry notes in his lap and Cagalli watched as his hand danced across the page of his assignment in lightning speed. For all of their physical and genetic similarities, she did not acquire the brilliant mind that her twin brother possessed, nor did she inherit his charming and outgoing personality. Instead, Cagalli was a sarcastic, tomboy of a mess with grades closer to C's than Kira's A's. She snorted.

"What?" He looked up at her from his chemistry assignment.

She shook her head. "We're twins, right? So why didn't I get the brains you have?"

"Luck of the draw?" He smiled at her. "Are you going to Athrun's party tonight?"

"A party? Oh that sounds like fun." Mrs. Yamato set down a plate of veggies and fruit on the little, round table between them.

"No. I'm not." Cagalli fidgeted with her textbook.

"Why not? I thought you were helping him set up or something." Kira shoved a baby carrot in to his mouth, silencing him for a moment.

"I think you should go." Mrs. Yamato winked at her.

"I think …" Cagalli paused and tried to remember what his mom had suggested about her being a teenager. "It's too many people all at once. I'm not big with crowds." She glanced up at Mrs. Yamato who nodded in agreement and silently left the little sitting area and went back to the kitchen. Whatever she was cooking up for supper was intoxicating and Cagalli's stomach definitely agreed with her nose.

"If you change your mind," Kira glanced over his shoulder back towards the kitchen where his mom has started to make a little bit more noise than she was before, "Lacus and I are going and you can catch a ride if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, but no thanks."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. How is your history project going?"

She grinned. "I finished yesterday."

Kira's lips twitched. "Really?"

Proud of herself she returned his stunned look with a grand, out of character smile before going back to scowling at him. "While you were getting the third degree from your folks over that fight you were in, I was at the library working by butt off."

"Impressive. I wasn't getting the third degree. They were just a little disappointed in me."

"From what I heard, Yzak had it coming."

Kira nodded in response and silently went back to his chem homework.

"You have to come with! Please?" Lacus was perched on the edge of Cagalli's bed. Thankfully, she and Mrs. Yamato had cleaned up her room after their impromptu meeting with Dr. Pal so nothing, besides the missing lamp, was out of place.

"Don't beg Lacus, it's really annoying."

"I went and helped Athrun set up this afternoon and the whole place looks amazing. Did you know that he has a lake in his backyard? It is absolutely beautiful!"

"You helped him?"

"I offered." She beamed.

"You? Why didn't Kira go with you?" Cagalli glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"Kira is smart but he has no artistic eye." Lacus seemed to retreat a bit. "Athrun does though. His stepmother is an artist, a really good one. She has a huge painting of the lake in their den over the fireplace. Can you imagine? They've only been living there for a few weeks now and she's already painted the whole of the lake on to canvas."

Cagalli eyed her twin's girlfriend with a grand amount of suspicion she usually reserved for boys and strangers peddling candy out of the side of non-descript vans. "No. He showed you the inside of the house?"

"I asked for a tour." She nodded.

"Lacus …"

Kira chose that moment to walk in to her room unannounced with a fresh, green shirt and a dark pair of jeans on. "Hey, are you ready to go?"

"I am." Lacus bounced up. The ivory of her blouse in the setting sun coming through Cagalli's window made her eyes water for a moment as she watched them leave, but not before Lacus turned around and pleaded one last time for her to join them.

"No thanks." Cagalli was starting to think that high school was a bit too much drama for someone with buckets of it coming out her ears already.

x.x.x/ now I feel as though I should be responding to a few of your reviews but I hope that I've aired them out in the chapter well enough that I won't have to because otherwise I'd be giving things away. Enjoy and more to come