A/N: So I wanted to do a Halloween themed fic so I just typed this up really fast and that's why its so short. Its a future fic when Blair is still in college.
Summary:
-- "He should have known."
-- "Because everyone should know the intimate details of Chuck Bass's private life."
-- "If he was going to get anymore intimate with you I would have had to recruit Humphrey to intervene."
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Idea inspired by awesome Chair and holiday spirit.
-- "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
-- "What am I doing?"
-- "You tell me."
-- "Well you're the one who asked."
-- "Blair."
-- "Chuck."
-- "Fine, I'll be more specific. What in the hell is that you're wearing?"
-- "I thought you had eyes, Bass."
-- "And I thought you had integrity, Waldorf."
-- "Are you saying you have a problem with what I'm wearing?"
-- "Me?"
-- "Well you're looking at me like I repulse you."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "Blair. I am warring with myself whether to drag you home or tear your clothes off right here."
-- "You could do both."
-- "..."
-- "What?"
-- "We can't leave."
-- "Why..."
-- "Well now I have to teach him a lesson."
-- "Bass..."
-- "What? Retaliation is in order here."
-- "Retaliation? He's just some drunk frat guy, not a rival gang member."
-- "..."
-- "Fine, then I'll just go home. Without you"
-- "..."
-- "Ow, Bass."
-- "You're not going anywhere."
-- "Excuse me?"
-- "We're teaching him a lesson."
-- "We?"
-- "Yes. Because as of a month ago you are my newly instated girlfriend, we are going to teach your drunken frat guy the rules."
-- "Mine? Please. He is so not my type."
-- "You mean devastatingly handsome billionaires with stacks of funds to spend on you at his very whim?"
-- "Not to mention a perfect scheming partner."
-- "You know me well. Speaking of which..."
-- "I'm not going to fawn over you so I can slake your testosterone needs for the night."
-- "He was making a fool out of you."
-- "Don't try to manipulate this situation. You can't make me want to obey your caveman virility."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "Bass, stop."
-- "..."
-- "I told you no."
-- "Did you tell him no?"
-- "I would have but you seemed to have possession on your mind."
-- "He should have known."
-- "We've only been back together for a month."
-- "Well he should have known."
-- "Because everyone should know the intimate details of Chuck Bass's private life."
-- "If he was going to get anymore intimate with you I would have had to recruit Humphrey to intervene."
-- "Because you're so powerful you can't do it yourself."
-- "Then you would have been mad at me for the first time since we got back together and I wouldn't want to do that on a holiday."
-- "This is a consumer's holiday, Chuck. It doesn't count."
-- "It does with you dressed like that."
-- "Which, if I recall, is what whipped you up into this frenzy to begin with."
-- "That costume will always whip me up into a frenzy. Its when other men start coveting what's mine do I get--"
-- "Possessive."
-- "If you want to be blunt about it."
-- "God, you're not even remorseful."
-- "Why would I be remorseful?"
-- "You really are something."
-- "Thank you..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "Chuck... stop. We can't do this here."
-- "Why not? I could buy this place if I wanted to."
-- "A frat house?"
-- "If they keep staring at you like that I will."
-- "Someone could come in."
-- "Make me care."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "So I guess revenge on the frat party is out."
-- "I'm just waiting for someone to come in. The best revenge would to see Wonder Woman getting it on with her gangster boyfriend."
-- "Its just a frat party."
-- "I don't like that you're not taking care of yourself in this environment."
-- "And I don't like how you're looking at those sorority girls, but we all have to pick our battles."
-- "They're just girls, Blair."
-- "And Halloween is an excuse for girls to slut it up."
-- "Exhibit A."
-- "Wonder Woman is a super hero. This is her outfit. At least I'm not coming in, pretending to be dressed as a bunny but really looking to seduce other girls' boyfriends."
-- "Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, Waldorf?"
-- "Shut up."
-- "Don't make me use your own lasso of truth on you."
-- "I would rather put it to other uses."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "..."
-- "I thought you wanted to get revenge."
-- "I could think of more fulfulling ways to spend our first Halloween together in a year."
-- "And how's that?"
-- "Ripping off that patriotic leotard in the back of my limo."
-- "I'll bring the lasso."