Important note: First, I know it has been forever and a day since I updated and I am sorry but let me explain so things. I started this story when I was cutting and did write at times through my recovery. However it became too much, put myself in the moment of the act in order to write this story became more than I could handle so I had to stop. I am proud to though that I feel like I'm strong enough to continue this story safely. So it is with great joy I give the next chapter!

New Road

'1…..2….3….1….2…..' One foot in front of the other, '3….1…..2…….3' Edward made his way through the busy train station eyes down cast, watching the feet of the crowd. Azen weaved them through the suffocating sea of people. Most of them shouting, laughing, he was sure if he looked up he would have seen all their faces smiling back at him. The thought made him sick. '1….2….3….1…2…3..1..2..3..1..!' He tried to catch his breath. 'Too many people.' He stopped walking paralyzed by the overwhelming pain in his chest.

'Ed?'

He felt a hand on his shoulder, but it wasn't Azen.

"Come on Edward, we'll be out of here soon, clam down." After the whispered words he was gently pushed forward and stirred through the rest of the masses. 'How can this be happening? I hid everything for so long, how is it he can see it all now?'

'Because he knows it's there.'

He did his best to let go, to shut down and let Mustang and Azen lead. 'Am I even living anymore? Some else is always in control, Azen controls my head and my body and the General controls my life.'

'Makes you want to cut the strings?'

He wanted to, he wanted so badly to cut until there was nothing left to be manipulated. Ed was so tired and it never got any easier, hell it got harder.

He went to the white room and let Azen take over for a while. At least until he was sitting on what was to be his bed, . Edward did his best to not take in the full meaning of those words. He had no control anymore, there was no escaping the reality of the situation. Ed would be living here for who knew how long. He felt so trapped, like the will to live had been suffocated and laid rotting in his head.

The oldest Elric bit his lip trying to block out the images bleeding into his mind. Slowly they dripped into reality. He wasn't sure when had gotten up, he couldn't recall pulling out his pocket watch. He didn't even realize he'd taken off his top layers of clothing, until he was staring horrified at a fresh gash across his forearm.

'What the hell just happen?'

'You cut, you just don't need to think about it that much anymore.'

'What have I become? I use to have a reason to exist but now-' Ed was gone, lost in endlessness of darkness of his mind. It was at that point the door swung open.

"Hey Fullmetal, What to want for din-" Roy stared not in disgust, but in pure disbelieve. Edward was standing the staring at a new self inflicted wound on his forearm, too far gone to even realize him standing there. 'Ed…' Mustang didn't know what to do. He walked back down to the kitchen and pulled out a glass and a bottle of scotch.

'That's right drown the problem like always.' Roy thought to himself. He poured a glass. He picked it up, but all he could think about was Ed lost in his head, bleeding on the carpet of his guest bedroom. It became clear then, that there was no difference in what he and Ed did.

'I can't ask him to stop!' Angry at his euphony the General chunk his glass into the sink causing the glass to shatter with a thunderous crack. Not done yet with his expression of rage and self hatred Mustang throw the scotch bottle more at the sink than in it, he then went fishing out and hurling every bottle of liquor in the kitchen to the sink breaking it.

'Why, why dose he have to do this to hurt like this. I can't stand watching him break again and again, it's too much for anyone to take. Why can't I help him, why?'

Still not satisfied even after the last bottle was gone, the General punched the counter by the sink inadvertently punching broken glass as well. He was about to do it again when something caught his arm mid-swing.

"Stop!" It seemed the thunderstorm of breaking glass had been loud enough to wake Ed from his stupor. "please, stop." He choked out, he was –

"Ed." Mustang lowered his fist and turned to Ed over shirt and jacket thrown on in a hurry, blood seeping through the fabric and tears running down his face.

Roy pulled the smaller figure into a tight hug. One hand tangled its self in the mess of blonde hair, while the hand with glass still in the knuckles rested on petite back.

"It's okay Ed. Do you understand now why I can't stand by and watch you hurt yourself? I care about you too much." The blonde couldn't believe what he had just seen, for the first time in his life it became apparent to him that he didn't just hurt himself when he cut.

' I don't want this, I don't want to be this! I'm hurting the only person who cares and tries to understand! I don't want to be the reason he hurts.'

Ed balled into the crook of Mustang's neck, it was like he was trying to cry all the tears he'd held back for years. Roy's hand was killing him but comforting Fullmetal was more important then mending his hand. 'Nothing is more important than taking care of Edward.'

Mustang wasn't sure when it had happened but for quite sometime now the most important thing was Ed. Keeping him safe, making sure he eat regularly, slept enough everything he could do. Not Alphonse, just Ed, he'd have murdered Al if he had known what Edward had done to himself after his brothers harsh words. He wished he could have the satisfaction of slowly charring every inch of Tuckers flesh. But now wasn't the time to entertain such thoughts.

"We're both sick Ed and we both need to try and get better. Will you try with me? It won't be easy and we are going to mess but can you commit to trying to move forward?"

Roy looked down into those puffy golden eyes, despite the redness they seemed if possible an even brighter shade of liquid gold than normal.

"I want to try. I need to keep moving forward." For the first time since he had restored his brothers body he felt like he had a propose, a goal to reach and struggle for. It would be unpleasant, hard and it would mean facing all the things he ran from. Yet staring back into soft dark eyes he couldn't help but feel at ease with the thought that he wouldn't be doing it alone.

Ok guys, Please review I really want to know what you think!