Chapter 10:
The Boss and Twilight's Emotional Adventure
Year 10 A.C. (After Conquer)
As the Leader of the Saints approached a now tortured and defeated Mane Six with his new found allies and helpers, a group of saints "understudies" started to gather around as the Leader of the Saints teaches them how to torture the former elements of harmony, Mike Aston, a new cadet who just arrived from the New Zealand of the South Park universe was taking notes, as he started to write the date, one of his classmates, Chisuru Chika from the Asian region of the Naruto universe stood in front of him with curiosity since his animation style was very different from hers, she was used to other American drawing styles but she had never seen his peculiar form.
Chisuru: Hey from what universe are you from?
Mike: I'm from a universe that the boss calls South Park for some weird and Fucked up reason, and from what universe are you from? … Let me guess from the Inuyasha one… or the DBZ one… I mean all of your universes sort off look the same to me so yeah I don't give a fuck really.
Right there was when Chisuru lost it, she grabbed him by the arm and made him stood up
Chisuru: How dare you say that every universe that has my peculiar type of animation style looks the same!
?: Not to Piss in your parade or notin' hunny but that nigga right there is right as fuck!
Chisuru: And who asked for your opinion any way!
Said Chisuru to the black woman who was in a Family Guy style animation
?: EXCUSEME BITCH?! DA FUCK DO YA THINK YO TALKIN TO?
Chisuru: I'm talking to a meddling black woman who if she doesn't shut up will get her ass kicked!
?: Now come on Shanequa don't start with your bullshit!
Said Steve, who is from New York of the DBZ universe
Shanequa: Ok, fine but if that bitch comes across me in training I will kick her big eye ass!
Steve: Dude you should think before you open your yapper, you wouldn't want to end up cleaning the headquarters of the saints in a fucked up hentai universe do ya.
Mike: A whontai?
Steve: Oh yeah I sometimes forget that some universes do not have those… Man some universes have all the luck…
Mike: Luck, you wouldn't say that if you were on my universe! You know how many times I have died only to wake up in my bed and nobody remembering shit about me dying! And the motherfucking worst part is that I know Jesus and believe me he doesn't give a shit about us… Do you know that Jesus haves in my universe a talk show and every time I call him and tell him my problem he simply states that he will not touch that with a 60 ft. pole!?
Steve: Dam this Jesus dude sounds like a prick! What is he like your supreme god or something like that?
Mike: Wait a moment your white, and American and you don't know who Jesus is?
Steve: nope, it doesn't ring a bell!
Mike: Well do you worship any god at all?
Steve: well let me tell you this my friend, in my universe, they are green flying slug people, a living fat giant piece of pink bubble gum like guy, and a giant dragon that grants you a wish if you find 7 dragon balls… but no Jesus.
Mike: Dam that universe of yours sounds awesome!
Steve: You bet your sweet ass it is!
As Steve finished the sentence, the announcer on the speakers started talking
Announcer: attention all cadets please arise for your leader for life, the killer of harmony, the disassembler of the Avengers, The breaker of S.H.I.E.L.D. and S.W.O.R.D., the ninja destroyer, the ….
The Boss (in a Scottish accent): Dammit Matt they gettit all reddy cot the crap! Your gettin' me ego all wrong to the new cadets!
Mike: Hey I thought that the leader of the saints was a Mexican or something like that!
The boss heard the comment and opened the door to Mikes left without him or the other cadets realizing.
The Boss: So ye think that I'm a bloddy Mexican huh!
Mike (Surprised): how the fucks do you do that!?
The Boss: Well I like to surprise our new recruits!
Chisuru (in her mind): How does he do that!
The Boss: How do I do that? Well I haven't heard that question since the Mushroom Kingdom surrendered!
Flashback shows Princess Peach signing something while Mario is on the background looking like he ate some "bad" mushrooms
Princess Peach: I Princess Peach declare total surrender upon the 3rd Street Saints!
Mario (High as Fuck): Look a dat I have a little flag pole dat need polishing!
Princess Peach: *Sigh* I take what I can get…
Mike: What the fuck was that!
The Boss: That me friend is how you conquer a planet without sendin' troops!
Steve: Holy Shit was that a Sketch Attack!?
The Boss: wow I'm glad that somebody knew what that was so that means I don't have to explain it this time! So Mr…
Steve: Steve Donovan at your service!
The Boss: What a second you sound American but you look like you were made in a Anime universe! Where you raised in the Family Guy universe?
Steve: No I was raised and born in the DBZ universe sir!
The Boss: But how do you know about the Sketch Attack then?
Steve: well you see, when I first arrived in this academy I was sent to this region and the first thing I saw when I came here was that fine piece of Chocolate right next to Mike over there! Of course she was very different than me and every time I tried to make a conversation she would simply make one of those same type of attacks so I took it to myself to find out how does those attacks works, so I went to the local library and read all of the information this academy has about those types of attacks, it took me a few tries to make them work and the results where flattering!
The Boss: Of course they are! I mean I single handedly defeated The Avengers and their goons like that! Hey Kinzie do whe have the thing on tape!
Kinzie: *sigh* Yes we do boss, yes we do!
The Boss: Well what are ye waitin fore an invitation roll the clip!
As the boss said this the room went pitch black and a movie started rolling in.
As the movie started it showed The 3rd Street Saints surrounded by the Avengers and some agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Nick Fury: You must be either pretty Stupid or pretty Dumb to just waltz in here like that during our entire units gathering!
The Boss: Wow I haven't heard such an under estimation of me since you were white in the 70's
Nick Fury banishes and instead a White version of him appears
Nick Fury: where the hell am I!
Thor: What kind of sorcery is this!
The Boss: Man I thought the comics made you into a woman who is always on her period!
Thor turns in to a woman
Thor: By Odens beard why do I feel like my body is getting bloated and cramping! (Looks at The Hulk) Stop looking at me I will not stand for this!
Thor left the hellicarrier crying
Matt Miller: well actually Thor is still a guy in that comic he just isn't wielder of Mjolnir…
The Boss hits Matt in his head
The Boss: Shut up your ruining the joke you big Shitty Wanker!
Captain America: Avengers Assemble!
The Boss (At Shaundy): Hey do you remember that time that Captain America got turned in to an old man!
Shaundy: Well no Boss I'm always too busy destroying every rebellion in every universe you just take over so I don't have time to read all of those stupid magazines!
Captain America gets turned in to an old man; he gets so weak that he falls on the floor immediately.
Captain America: where am I! Who are you all!
Iron Man: Ok you ginger Scot you asked for it!
The Boss: Dam I liked you better when you were drunk all the time!
Iron Man gets all wobbly and flies right next to the boss and crashes in a pile of barrels that where coincidentally where Iron Man crashed
The Boss: Just to save time I will just say this…
As the boss was about to talk Spiderman threw a web in the boss face
Spiderman: Finally you shut your yapper!
The Boss Rips the web off and throws it to the floor angrily and says…
The Boss: Well I was not gonna say this because you are me favorite but… I liked you better when you were Yu Komori!
Spiderman: When I was who…
Spiderman turns in to the Japanese masturbating emo version of himself
The Boss: As I was saying I like the killed by Deadpool versions of you better!
The entire Avenger team appears murdered just the same way that DP killed them in Deadpool kills the marvel universe
The Boss: Oy Kinzie did ye got all of that?
Kinzie (Over the Hellicarier's speakers): Yeah Boss that's a wrap!
The movie closes and the lights get turned back on
The Boss: Ok class today I'm gonna personally teach you how to mentally torture a foe!
The Boss Looks at the guards and gives them the order to send in the 7 "training dummies"
Mike: Hay wait a minute wasnt you suppose to torture the Elements of Harmony?
The Boss: I would torture them but they got STONED... if you catch me drift!
Steve: Wait you got them drugged?
The Boss: You really come from the DBZ universe don't ya laddie, now shut the fuck up before you joint them!
*Awkward Silence*
The Boss: Anyway I just brought 7 of the most unbreakable spirts in the multiverse they all have literally got tortured physically in every possible way imaginable and yet do not want to speak so I will literally let the four of you deal with them!
The Boss unmasked the first one
Korra: Let me go or I will single handedly bend all of your blood out of that disgusting mouth of yours!
The Boss: A lot of talk for someone who is tied up!
Mike: Um hey Mate I got a question for you… um how is she not murdered us all… I mean I've read her profile she literally murdered an entire squad with their own urine, the only way we defeated her was because she got so exhausted from killing every guy, thing and machine you keep sending there!
The Boss: oh yes that question is as valid as the ending of the lest season of her wrongfull and stupid existence!
Korra: Oh so your mad at me for being a lesbian!
The Boss: No I'm Mad because you let a Shitload of questions unanswered and in a cliffhanger… And do you know what do I do to those Universes?
Korra: You let them keep living there lives and you live yours… Oh I'm sorry I forgot you don't have a life!
The Boss: Oh you know what miss I just gave everybody in my universe the power of airbending without any logical explanation you just earned the worst king of torture so vile that you will literally wish that I would have just kill you on your universe and not die while being aired in your universe you stupid cunt!
The Boss steps out of the room and leaves a radio with a cassette labeled Scrotie Mcbooger Balls
Mike looks at the cassette label with horror
Mike: Oh shit he wouldn't!
Chisuru: what is that tape?
Mike: That is an audio recording of the most brilliantly disgusting book ever written! One of my mates back home literally died of dehydration because the stupid idiot let the tape running while sleeping!
The Boss: Glad to know that there is a guy here that knows about the power of a good book!
The Boss looks at Korra and gives the guards the orders to press the play button
The Boss: Any last words before you dehydrate yourself to death!?
Korra: Yes, hope you die like the pig you are! My people will never surrender to you…
The Boss: Oh but they did…
The Boss Claps and Asami, Korra's former lover steps out of the shadows with an expression less face
Korra: Asami but why?
Asami: Because you are no longer powerfull, don't you see I was only in it for the power! And now *Chuckles*I finally have it!
Korra: No I won't believe it! This must be a trick!
Asami: Oh really! Then why would I stood back and let you fight all of those things! I even told The Boss here all about the Ki and Chi, all your weak point so that you couldn't bend again!
Korra: BUT… WHY?
The Boss: Bitch she just told you why! Let it go already! Now Ms. Rice cake would you mind?
Asami: With pleasure!
Asami presses the play button and leaves the now heartbroken Korra strapped to a chair with her mouth taped so that she would drown with her own vomit
Narrator: Scrotie Mcbooger Balls a book by Leopold Stotch, Chapter one it was a warm Summer Morning when Scrotie Mcbooger Balls…
The Doors closed shut the doors of course where made out of sound proof glass so it could only be seen not heard
Steve: But how… I read the official report and it stated that she died during a struggle!
The Boss; Oh yes that Bitch died! This is just a blue shape shifting thing!
Steve: Wait a moment! Do you mean that mutant that is from the Avengers Universe!?
The Boss: The same one lady!
The Boss looks at the shapeshifting woman who is still in the form of the prisoner's deceased lover and as she was leaving The Boss proceeds to tell her…
The Boss: You know the drill Mystique! You will get the money and the diplomatic immunity you asked for!
Mystique: Well then it was nice doing business with you Mr… Hmmm I don't recall knowing your name!
The Boss: Believe me! If I told you me name your entire universe will be destroyed for security reasons!
As the boss said that Korra started to struggle with her own vomit… trying to breath and hold her own barf down but only to a hilarious but at the same time sad effect that one would expect a person who is hearing a book written by 4 elementary school kids from Colorado from an universe where there is a talking piece of crap that gets his own Christmas specials and everybody dies around you and some people even laughs at those deaths because in there universe that shit is pretty dam normal...( Indeed a sad and fucked up universe) would react
Steve: Hey Shanequa bet you five bucks that she lasts 5 minutes
Shanequa: You're on white boy!
5 Minutes later
Shanequa: Dam that bitch sure lasted longer than I expected!
Chisuru: and she is still struggling with the vomit… I think she's even synchronizing her vomits and her breathing! If she keeps this up she will literally die of dehydration instead of asphyxiation
Mike: Oh God…
Mike looks at the boss and starts to beg him
Mike: By God Man Have some humanity in your life for once! Just kill her!
The Boss: wow I never thought somebody had the balls to stand up to me before!
Mike: If you don't do it I will!
The Boss: If you even try to do it you will join her in the afterlife!
Mike: Well Good Motherfucking luck you bloody asshole if you kill me I will literally be awake the next morning in my bed like if nothing ever ha…
As Mike was about to finish his sentence The Boss fired a single headshot.
The Boss: well that was getting' annoyin!
Tardis: Unknown Year
As The Boss woke up from another of his Scottish Alter ego nightmares he finds himself inside of what it looked like a Big Ship and as he started to look around he then remembered that he got kidnapped and that the stupid assholes that kidnapped him didn't even tied him up, as he started to reach for his gun so that he would just kill the three multicolored talking horse freaks and then fix the mess he got himself in to… Just as he was about to reach for his lucky Desert Eagle…
Twilight: Looking for these?
Twilight hit the boss with his own gun like she saw him do to the princesses while he was interrogating then...
The Boss: Maldita Yegua De Mierda!
Twilight: Shut the Buck up or I swear I…
The Boss: Awww you are sooo fucking cute even when you're trying to kill me! But really just give me the fucking gun before you shoot your eye out and I will just kill you quickly and painless… or of course you can just try your luck and I will shoot your four hooves, rip those wings off, break your horn and shove them up your ass so…
The Boss gets a Machete out and smiles as he finishes the sentence
The Boss: Wanna try your luck bitch?
Twilight didn't know what to do, she didn't even knew if the gun was loaded or even if she had the accuracy to shoot him using her magic, since she didn't practiced and didn't wanted to learn how to use them because they were destructive and could even pierce trough the toughest armor that the royal guards wore, she saw the reverse engineers wonder in awe in seeing that the same type of technology that Pinkie Pie Used as a Party Canon was used to murder people… sometimes for fun… She was afraid that she would become a monster, that her blood lust would then start and that she would use that technology to make the same mistakes that those humans did…
Twilight: I… yield…
As Twilight said this, tears started to form in her eyes as she dropped the gun and simply dropped on the floor sobbing… thinking that she would rather die than to become a murderer, even if the person that she would kill was the one responsible for a lot of suffering, pain, death and genocide
The Boss: I thought so Bitch! You see I am not like you, I have the balls to lead the multiverse in to an age of perfection, and the perfection is me… perfection is the Third Street Saints…
As the boss just finished that sentence he remembered something that one of his friends told him once….
Gat: Just Remember, never to get way over your head, because every time that some asshole goes way over there head somebody has to die….
The Boss: Oh Shit I just became The Bad guy…
As The Leader of The 3rd Street Saints just finished saying this he tossed his weapon to the floor and just sat down next to Twilight he just stared blankly at the Time warp as if he wondered if they were ever going to get out of this mess, if he could just go back in time and kick himself in the dick for being an asshole.
As The Boss started to get up he looked at Twilight with a feeling he only felt towards Johnny, Shaundy, Oleg, Matt, Kinzie and yes even Pierce, he literally felt the same for Twilight, what he had never seen in anybody who was fighting against him… Respect and a type of respect he only gave to people that always tried to do the right thing but always ended up working for him, failed at it or died trying… and then it hit him… they all failed and died because of him, he killed a lot of activist, innocent civilians and police officers and he never felt this because in his wretched mind… he was the good guy…but in reality he was not the good guy… not in the eyes of all of the multiverses that he had destroyed or left in chaos.
The Boss: Twilight I'm Sor…
As The Boss was about to apologize from the heart… something that he had never done before, he was interrupted by the light Brown Pegasus.
Derpy: Well hello there Mr. Human you gotta tell me where you got those delicious brownies me and The Doctor liked them very much…
As Ditzy Doo continued talking The Boss looked at her as any person who was about to do something that he had never done before, open himself to another being, and then gets interrupted by an annoying cunt.
The Boss: You Motherfucking Bitch! I will fuckin' Kill you!
As the boss was about to open fire on Ms. Doo The Doctor stepped in to stop him.
The Doctor: Now hold it right there for a bloody second there!
The Boss looked at him as he had heard about him from somewhere
The Boss: Who da fuck are you!
The Doctor: Oh where are my manners (Stretches his hoof) I'm The Doctor.
The Boss: Not good enough (Cocks gun) I want a real name!
The Doctor: I'll give you my real name if you give me yours…
The Boss lowered its gun
The Boss (Stretches his hand): Fair enough…
The Doctor: Ah yes… looks like you already have met my assistant, and future Ms. The Doctor eh!
The Boss: Wait… You, a smart person…
The Doctor: Yes…
The Boss: And… Her, a total idiot…
Derpy: Hey… My name is not Idiot
The Boss: Are getting MARRIED!
The Doctor: What is it a bad thing to want to tie the knot?
The Boss: No… But… Oh I get it know… She is very good at churning you butter…
The Doctor: I don't get what you're saying…
The Boss: She lets you stuff her oven!
The Doctor: Still trying to understand…
The Boss: IS SHE A GOOD FUCK?!
The Doctor: What? No… I haven't even done that with her!
The Boss: Then why?
The Doctor: When you're around the Universe as long as I have been and you find that someone that makes you feel happy… without sex involved, then you know that that someone is really special and that you can't really live this life without her…
The Boss: Wait a minute… Now I really know I have heard of you before!
The Doctor: Yes you have…
The Boss: You're that bald guy from Star Trek!
The Doctor: No, but I'll give you a hint… I'm a time traveling, multidimensional space explorer!
The Boss: Oh great you're a British version of Scooby Doo!
The Doctor: What no! You are way off by an entire universe and its alternative realities!
The Boss: You know what I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you so how about you let me back at my time period and I will forget that you, your girlfriend and that Royal Cunt, ever tried to kidnap and kill me, thank you very much!
Derpy: Where here!
The Boss: Great now if you will excuse me, I have some Cheap ass version of MR. Rogers to get rid of!
As The Boss opened the door and started to walk out of the ship he got stopped by Twilight
Twilight: Didn't you wanted to say something to me?
The Boss: Oh yeah (Gets his gun out and points it at her) Try to put a stunt like that again and I will fucking murder you!
The Boss: Wait a moment… Fuck, Shit, Cock, Cunt!
The Boss: I can swear again!
The Doctor: Well of course you can This is Equestria Approximately 7 years ago!
The Boss: Oh great you sent me back in time!
Twilight: Wait a second!
Twilight looks around the buildings and noticed her parents' house.
Twilight: I don't remember my house being that color seven years ago, in fact the only time I saw the house of that color was…
Twilight uses her magic to get a picture out of her pocket
The Boss: Oh you have built in pockets? That is so cute… Fucked up but cute!
Twilight looks at her picture which shows her mother and father along with her older brother who looks very young in the picture, with a new born right next to him.
Twilight: Sweet Celestia, where not back 7 years ago… in fact according to this picture we may be even back before I was even born!
The Doctor: wait a moment Ditzy did you set the timer right and specified that it was pony years?
Derpy: Yeah! See (Spelling) H.U.M.A.N. (Finishes spelling) Pony!
The Doctor: Oh you are just too dam dolt sometimes… that makes me want to…
Derpy Kisses the Doctor.
The Boss: Hey Doc I think that would be a good time to try the merchandise!
The Doctor: What with you around?
The Boss: Oh come on man we are grown people (Looks around) I mean Adults we can handle ourselves!
The Doctor: I don't know!
The Boss: Oh come on man she is giving you all the gawd dam signals!
Derpy (Wispers in his ears): Oh come on Doctor it could be fun!
The Doctor: Ok fine… Just promise me you two won't do anything stupid!
The Boss: I swear on the great leadership of all the Puerto Rican Governors!
The Doctor: Good enough!
The Tardis disappears in a blink of an eye
The Boss: *Snickers* Like Puerto Rican Governors where good doing their job!
Twilight: Wait... Are they?
The Boss: Let's just say that the last one didn't even knew how to speak English…
Twilight: So I'm just going to take a wild guess and assume that that is a big no!
The Boss: Bingo!
Twilight: What was up with Ditzy Doo back there?
The Boss: Who?
Twilight: The Brown Pegasus mare that was with The Doctor!
The Boss: Oh nothin' I just think that she ate all of my "Medicated" Brownies! In fact I think that dumb Brit must have ate a few himself!
Twilight: Wait! What was on those "Medicated" Brownies?
The Boss: Oh nothing bad just some eggs, chocolate, wheat, nuts, weed, milk…
Twilight: What was that last thing?
The Boss: Milk?
Twilight: No before that!
The Boss: A Comma.
Twilight: Don't play stupid Mr. Human! Before that!
The Boss: Weed?
Twilight: Weed… That sounds Familiar…
While Twilight started to think where was it that she heard the term weed The Boss started to look around.
The Boss: Well then where in the past now huh?
Twilight: Don't interrupt me while I'm thinking!
The Boss: So if I would to… I don't know find your mother and kill her… you wouldn't exist then?
Twilight: Relatively speaking yes…
The Boss: Good, excellent, perfect!
Twilight: Wait… What?
The Boss Gets a Grenade out and starts to pulls the pin
The Boss: So umm does your mom like pineapples?
Twilight: Don't Change the conversation now!
The Boss: I'm Gonna take a wild guess and just say yes!
Twilight: What are you going to do with that… Oh I saw what you did there cleaver!
The Boss: Frag out!
Twilight uses her magic to catch the grenade but since she didn't know what that was she started to pull it back towards her
*BOOM*
As the explosion happened everypony that was around just started screaming and running out of their houses, the explosion was so big that Twilight flied and crashed at the castle walls…
The Boss: *Inhales* Ah nothing beats the smell of death in the morning!
As The Boss finished this last sentence The Canterlot Royal Guars Started to Swarm the place and pointed The Boss with their spheres
Royal Guars: Halt in the name of Princess Celestia!
The Boss: Well hello there friends, I come in the name of human kind to teach you all a thing or two about fighting!
Royal Guard: You dare insult us by attacking a civilian and then you threaten us?
The Boss: Ok time to start your first lesson! In this lesson I will teach you not to bring a stick to a gun fight!
Royal Guard: A what?
The Boss: My point exactly!
The Boss Starts to fire shots at all of the guards killing some instantly. That was the last thing that Twilight saw right before she blacked out…