Chuck v The Burning Man
Thanks Aardvark7734 — you're the best beta ever!
A special word of thanks to Poa and BillAtWork – You two have a special place in this truthseekr's heart. Also, thanks to those who took a moment to let me know what you thought about Ch.9: Lucky 713, jagged1, jessclifton, and tshdow – I can't tell you how much you mean to me!
Don't forget to stay tuned! This 4-part installment will be updated throughout the week. Hopefully it will keep your dogs barking and your tails wagging!
Special Note: The second scene below references a bathroom event which occurred in ch.5 of Chuck v. The Twilight Zone. It's not necessary to read but it may provide additional context.
Chapter 10— Man's Best Friend is a Dog in Heat –- part 1
2/7/09
Sarah was alone, straightening the tables inside the Orange Orange. Adrift in the tedious ritual, her mind wandered back to a moment she shared with Chuck a couple days ago – the Jeff and Lester karaoke show at the Buy More. What were the words to that song 'Jeffster' sang? The words that came after Chuck told her she did, in fact, have someone in her life that cared about her? She knew the words. She kept hearing them in her head:
. . . . . . . . . . It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
. . . . . . . . . . There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
. . . . . . . . . . I bless the rains down in Africa
. . . . . . . . . . Gonna take some time to do the things we never had
Sarah had been to Africa – three times. Truth was she'd been all over the world and seen so many things, but the 'travel' was never quite what it was cracked up to be. Seeing Red Square under the winter white nights of Moscow wasn't nearly as romantic with Russian crime bosses groping you. The Columbian rainforests weren't all that picturesque with drug lords hot on your trail. And her last 'blessing' in Africa, didn't turn out as beautiful as the conflict diamonds she secured there (due to the price that many innocents had paid in the black market weapons trade). These trips often left her feeling cold, hollow, and numb -- so much so that she never thought about the cost to herself, to her soul. She sacrificed so much of herself that she rarely even thought about what she wanted. After all, her life was irrelevant, but her duty to protect something greater than herself was not.
As she absent-mindedly finished wiping down the tables, her thoughts moved from the African blood diamonds of her past to a diamond procured much more recently. She remembered Carina asking her, 'How do you stand it?' (meaning the 'boring' life she led here). Sarah smiled as she thought back to her response and then something remarkable surfaced – her feelings. She had told Carina, 'I'm good here.' And she was. She really was good here. Agent Walker had realized something during her duties protecting the Intersect. She didn't long for the 'travel' associated with a spy's life. She yearned for something else.
Sarah moved over to the counter and began to wipe it down methodically in counter-clockwise circles. She thought back to that song from earlier in the week. She wasn't much for music; she'd never really had any time for it since she joined the CIA. But that was before her current assignment. Sarah smiled and paused for a moment as she thought about the pink iPod that graced his nightstand. She silently wondered what songs he'd added about her since New Year's Eve, the Scrabble Tournament, the Tyler Martin gig, and their most recent run-in with Triad.
Being a music lover's handler for the last year and a half, she had learned a thing or two about the Indie music for which he raved. She knew that the karaoke cheese of 'Jeffster' firmly didn't fit in that or any other genre. But still, she recognized that every song had a message, a meaning . . . significance. The same was true of that Jeffster cover.
Sarah knew that the song really wasn't about Africa at all. It was about making a choice to do the important things in life, the things that were never had – the things that shouldn't wait. She thought back to the adventures she and Chuck had shared in the past two years. There had been great moments in between their numerous missions: their second date, the night he received his degree from Stanford, and even the afternoon they shared a cheeseburger after her high school reunion. She remembered to add another to the growing list – the unspoken moment in the Buy More while Lester sang – when Chuck's fingers intertwined perfectly in hers. It was a private moment, so innocuous that no one noticed. There was no cover purpose in this gesture. It was something real between them. Of all the countless public displays of affection they shared at that electronics store for the sake of their cover, this one hidden gesture was the first one that was purely between them.
As much as she came to relish these private moments, she couldn't help but be conflicted by them at the same time. Her connection with Chuck was clearly evolving into something else. And the career spy wasn't sure if she was prepared to see this change to its logical end. She was prepared to do at least one thing for him though.
After their talk by the fountain two weeks ago, she made the decision to be honest with him. She wouldn't volunteer her entire life's history (that still wasn't his business), but she wasn't going to lie to him on a mission about the real cost of his protection. She recognized that for someone outside the spy realm, this distinction might seem disingenuous, but for career field agent Sarah Walker, this step was significant. She recognized that it might affect the way he felt about her. But she remembered that he had chosen to get in the Crown Vic with her that night and in doing so he had chosen to continue in the spy world. At least for now. And if he was ever going to be more than an asset, this step was necessary to fully make him part of the team – the team that was named after him.
It hadn't been easy for Agent Walker to come to this conclusion. She recognized that it was so much simpler in the early days of their cover relationship to tell him what he wanted to hear and then let him draw his own conclusions. But, she couldn't manipulate him in that way anymore. She looked down at her wrist and smiled. In a strange way, their dealing with her lie on Christmas Eve actually turned out to be more of a break-through in their real relationship (such as it was) than the heirloom she wore on her wrist. She continued to wipe round and round as the charm bracelet clinked every so often on counter.
She had no regrets about killing that Fulcrum agent, the men passing off the Predator codes at the Scrabble tournament, or even the people who terrorized Tyler Martin. She understood her ultimate duty was to protect the Intersect at all costs. But when Sarah saw the red and white nerd herder explode in a tremendous fireball – with Chuck presumed to be inside, she realized something else. Amidst the hammer blows of her heart and the indescribable grief came deep feelings of regret and sorrow. For a life with Chuck she hadn't lived. For things they never had.
She sighed and let out a deep breath when she flipped the towel over and moved on to the clear display over the frozen treats. She noticed herself in the glass as she polished it. Upon reflection, she wished she could have been more sensitive to Chuck's conflict in betraying his friend Morgan just days earlier. She stopped wiping and stared blankly into the empty space of the yogurt shop, remembering the cold words that had pierced through her like a knife: 'Morgan would be there long after she was gone'. After she was gone.
She looked back at the display and could no longer see herself through the frosted over glass. She silently began to wipe the display again. As it cleared, she remembered Chuck's transparency was something she admired most about him. Whatever this thing was between them, there would be no more deception.
She was earnest in her apology to him that day at the Buy More, but something within her fished for something else. For his . . . reassurance? If that was it, her honesty had paid dividends – he'd told her that he cared for her. She knew that once upon a time this had been the case. It had been so easy to see it then. As the weeks had passed, however, she had allowed her insecurity to get the best of her. It made her wonder, Had something changed between them?
But that afternoon in the Buy More, she finally realized the barriers between them were not insurmountable and the two of them were becoming closer in spite of them. It was the strength of their connection and the possible loss of that bond that scared her.
She refocused her efforts on the counter. As she began wiping it in clockwise circles she thought about the words:
. . . . . . . . . . It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
A year ago she was prepared to take extraordinary measures to keep him there. She was ready to pull her gun on another government agent to ensure that Chuck was not taken to an underground bunker away from her. And a lot had happened between them since then. Still, the Agent within reminded her that she clung to the hope of a future that could never be. But the girl inside responded immediately: If there is no future, why not live in the moment? She already knew the answer. It was always the same one.
She sighed and stopped wiping the counter. If she went over there and talked to him, really talked to him, she would earn herself an immediate plane ticket out of LAX never to see him again – this was something she could not bear. She knew that their relationship (such as it was) was figuratively stuck on the taxiway and it would never be cleared by Beckman or any other DNI brass. So she remained in a holding pattern, hoping for a future of something great that they may never be allowed to have.
Sarah resumed wiping the counter in clockwise circles as time silently moved forward. She wanted a future with him, but truth be told she wanted that future to start right now. Almost exactly on cue, the familiar ring of the small bell attached to the top of the customer entrance snapped her out of her reverie. There he was. She looked up at Chuck briefly and smiled as he approached her at the counter. She didn't want to give away that she had just spent the better part of her cleaning routine thinking about him so she continued to wear the counter down in the same circles.
"Wax on, wax off, eh?" he kidded.
She gave him a half-grin even if she didn't get his joke.
"Uh, . . . so I don't think I ever thanked you for our little side mission at the auto show," he spouted off.
Sarah gave him a quizzical look as she set her towel aside.
"You know, when you talked to Anna about comparing other guys to a former boyfriend and that meant that there was something still there?"
"Oh that, . . . well, you're welcome," she smiled with a sure head nod.
"Is that why you came over here?" If she knew anything about Chuck Bartowski it was that he rarely began conversations with the actual thing he wanted to talk to her about.
"Well yes and no. Um . . . see now that Morgan and Anna are back together, and Anna thinks you are her new BFF, they want to do the whole double-date come over and watch a movie with us . . . "
"I see. Okay." She accepted before he finished stating his case.
". . . so I know that it won't be the best time and all and you can say . . . wait you didn't?" Chuck had expected a rejection or at least some sort of protest but strangely he got none.
Instead, she just stood there with a half-grin. An awkward silence crept between them so much so that Chuck couldn't stand it, he had to say something.
"Okay. . . . well, my best friend may be Morgan, but you know man's best friend is. . ." Chuck held up the DVD – Best in Show.
"Wait, let me see that," she responded as she snatched the DVD out of his hands. He stood there expectantly almost in a trance watching her lips move as she silently read the description on the back – that was until she looked up and caught him staring at her. He realized his error and quickly shifted his focus to the DVD case. She grinned in response as she put the case down and asked, "What is it with you and animal movies?"
He feigned a look of protest but then he realized she had a point. What once began with March of the Penguins gave way to Babe, Born Free, The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Eight Below, Seabiscuit, and even White Fang. He hadn't realized that there was a method to his madness but that penguin movie was only the first in a long succession of animal films that they had watched on numerous cover dates at his apartment.
With the best charm he could muster he looked at her and offered, "But, this one's a classic. You'll see . . ." His tone suggested that his comment was more of a lingering question of 'Will you come?' than anything else.
"Okay. . . as long as one day we're not going to watch something weird like a cat from outer space, or some giant free wheeling killer whale, or perhaps some movie about a planet full of apes," she kidded.
"Wow . . ." his voice trailed off into the distance and then snapped back, "Strangely, those are all films. . . but I give you the Bartowski promise that I will never make you watch any of those movies," Chuck said earnestly.
She grinned back at him. "Alright, I'll see you tonight."
"Okay!" he said with a triumphant grin. Mission accomplished. He turned around to head back to the Buy More.
As he made it to the door, he turned back to her with a huge goofy smile and asked, "So just to be clear . . . you're gonna help me re-friend my best friend and his girl friend while watching a movie about man's best friend as my cover girlfriend?"
He just managed to yank the door shut as the hurtling towel smacked off the other side with a loud 'THUNK'. He looked back through the blinds on the door and couldn't help but grin when he saw the satisfied smile on the face of his 'cover girlfriend'.
A couple of hours or so later . . . Echo Park, CA
Chuck's cover girlfriend arrived early to help him set up before his best friend arrived. While setting down a couple drinks on the coffee table, Sarah heard a knock at the door.
"I got it," she said to Chuck who was still in the kitchen getting the popcorn.
Sarah opened the door and was greeted by Chuck's bearded friend along with his on-again girlfriend. They were arm-in-arm both sporting impish grins. The spy in Agent Walker noticed that Anna had freshly re-applied her lipstick and that her hair was more ruffled than normal. Morgan, on the other hand, had a visible red mark that trailed under his shirt collar.
"Hey Sarah! Are you ready for another 'Evening with Morgan . . . and Anna'?" the little man happily exclaimed.
"Of course, Morgan. Come on in," she smiled politely and welcomed them inside.
"But no sizzling shrimp, Enter the Dragon, or fireworks this time," he pointed out with a slight pout.
"Well, I think we can take care of the fireworks ourselves, don't you?" Anna said with a mischievous grin to the man-boy beside her. Morgan's pout quickly gave way to a greedy ogle.
Sarah gave a fake laugh and looked back to Chuck with widened eyes.
Chuck caught Sarah's cue and knew it was time for him to step in. He had purposely failed to mention to her that since those two were back together they had been at it like rabbits. Chuck was glad that his little buddy was happy but still he had to remind himself to stay away from the break room, home theater room, storage cage, and loading docks — all places he later regretted running into them while they were 'making out'.
Well at least they'd behave themselves at his apartment tonight, or so he thought.
"Popcorn anyone?" The inflection in Chuck's voice was an unmistakable attempt to change the subject. He came over to them with a giant bowl of the popped stuff as well as a couple drinks.
"Here, let me help you," Sarah responded with some relief that Chuck had deflected Anna's sexual overture. Sarah went back to the kitchen and brought the napkins and other snacks to the living room as the others sat down in front of the television.
"So it's just us tonight, my man?" Morgan asked Chuck.
"What he means is, is Ellie here?" Anna miffed. Apparently, the Asian vixen still had some insecurity due to her boyfriend's unnatural fascination with the eldest Bartowski sibling.
Chuck and Sarah looked at one another as if they were channeling the same thought -- Some things never change.
"No, both she and Devon are on night rotations this week." Chuck responded.
"Ah, so Ellie's putting on the night moves? Awesome." Morgan stammered before thinking.
The women in the room looked back at him wide-eyed. His best friend felt compelled to save the bearded man from himself once again and so Chuck responded, "Yeah, that's right with Captain Awesome."
The smaller girl in the room settled back into the arms of the man-boy with whom she arrived.
"I guess I'll put in the movie." Chuck put the DVD in and the menu appeared on the screen to reveal to the shorter and more openly affectionate couple—Best in Show.
"Excellent choice Chuck. I love mockumentaries!" Morgan spouted off putting his arm around Anna.
"Mockumentary?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, it's like a fake story, it's not real, I told you you'd love it," Chuck said without thinking. She recognized the depth of his statement and couldn't help but frown slightly, not that he noticed.
"Yeah, but that lawyer couple is seriously disturbing, I mean their dog has to go to therapy after seeing them get it on? I mean that's just crazy," Morgan said.
"Good thing Chico likes you," Anna mentioned her pet by name while she snuggled closer in Morgan's arms.
"Am I going to have to get you two a room?" Chuck joked sort of. But from the naughty grins he got in return he knew that it was only a matter of time that they would, in fact, need a room.
"So I'm the only one that hasn't seen this movie?" Sarah asked attempting to steer the conversation back to the movie.
"That's okay Sarah, after tonight you'll be another step forward in your ever increasing perfection as the future Mrs. Chuck Bartowski," Morgan exclaimed.
In unison, both a mortified Chuck and a smiling Anna spouted off, "Morgan!"
Anna continued, "That was so sweet!" She nuzzled her head under Morgan's neck.
Sarah knew that she had to respond in some way. So she did what any good real girlfriend would, she wrapped her arm around Chuck's, gave him a peck on the cheek and most importantly, she changed the subject again.
"Okay, so what's this movie really about?" she asked giving Chuck a reassuring smile.
"Oh . . . there are these dog show couples. And their dogs all have personalities similar to their owners," Chuck answered as the opening credits ran.
Both Sarah and Chuck sat on the couch next to each other while they tried to keep their eyes on the movie. It wasn't necessarily that their minds were elsewhere but they were specifically trying to keep their eyes away from the animal magnetism to the right of them as Morgan and Anna were practically sitting on top of one another in the loveseat. At one point, Sarah caught Chuck putting his hand up to his forehead in an effort to further shield his eyes and block the action to the right of him.
Chuck gave a sideways glance to Sarah and noticed her looking back at him. He turned slightly, held her gaze and mouthed, 'I'm so sorry'.
She looked back at him and mouthed, 'It's okay.' And then she leaned her head on his shoulder, in part to block her view of the MorgAnna show but on another level because it just seemed natural. Her agent side would rationalize that this was just part of their cover, but Sarah knew why she did it and it had nothing to do with their cover. Whether she was ready to openly admit it or not she liked being close to him -- he made her feel warm inside. It was a level of comfort that this trained assassin knew was dangerous and yet, she was finding that her feelings were becoming increasingly hard to hold back. Before she could carry those thoughts further she was distracted by the other girl's voice in the room.
"I'm going to go freshen up," the Asian sex kitten said seductively as she broke apart from Morgan and sauntered past the other couple in the living room. Morgan gawked at her. From behind the couch, Anna gave him 'the look' and motioned with her index finger to 'come hither'. It was all the encouragement that the little man-boy needed.
"Anyone want some fresh passion . . . fruit or perhaps a grape soda?" Morgan asked rounding the couch without waiting for a response.
"No buddy, we're fine," Chuck's voice trailed off as he noticed that his friend had conveniently 'forgotten' to stop at the kitchen as he made a beeline for the bathroom following Anna inside. Neither Chuck nor the agent beside him missed the seduction that had just played out in front of them.
Sarah raised her head up and looked at Chuck. He rolled his eyes and groaned resting his head on the back of the couch while he stared at the ceiling. She couldn't help but empathize. Her mouth parted slightly as if to say something, anything, but no words came out. As she considered what to say, she stared at the Adams apple in his neck as he swallowed hard twice. She traced it with her eyes up to his chin and mouth as he dropped his jaw and let out a deep sigh. And then her gaze moved up to his eyes. The chocolate brown of them stared above him in what was clearly frustration. She studied the way they interacted with his eyebrows and his furrowed forehead. She wished she could protect him and alleviate the frustration she found there, but that would be impossible. On some level, she was probably the source of it.
He turned his head toward her while still resting it on the couch. This time he caught her looking at him. But instead of turning away, his eyes softened. He held her stare for an uncomfortably long moment – uncomfortable only because it was just too comfortable. She bit the bottom of her lip as she started to think about all the things she could do to him and for him. Lost in his eyes, she could feel her heart race with the realization that they were finally alone. The voice within her was channeling that song not to wait, to do the things that she never had.
Wait, alone? Suddenly, the agent in her called her back to reality. She remembered what Chuck had just been looking up at – they were never alone. She broke his gaze and looked up at the smoke detector on the ceiling. His eyes followed hers up and then the frustrated look returned only this time with an added frown. As if by rote memory they separated since there was 'no need to continue the charade' of being a couple.
"I'm going to get some water would you like anything?" Sarah stood up in order to increase the distance between them.
"Sure," he responded staying put on the couch. He didn't really need a glass of water. A cold shower might help but unfortunately that wasn't an option at the moment.
As Sarah walked back to the kitchen, Chuck, still hot and bothered, attempted to provide a little levity for his own sake, "What is it with that bathroom?"
Sarah opened the refrigerator to grab a couple of bottles of water and Chuck continued his nervous chatter as a sidetrack to the moment that had just transpired between them.
"And it's not just the two of them," he motioned back to whatever it was that was taking place in the back half of his apartment. "I walked in on my sister and Awesome sudsing it up back in the fall, ICK!!!" Chuck shivered as if he had the willies, ". . . and then there was . . . you know . . . Christmas." His voice cracked a bit when he referred to the kiss they once shared while he was shaving in the bathroom.
Sarah's eyes widened as she hovered over the open refrigerator door. The last bathroom rendezvous he mentioned had only been a cover kiss, she told herself. Awesome walked in on them in the bathroom on Christmas morning while they were talking. She acted fast to 'protect their cover'. It was one of those classic jaw-dropping showy kisses that often had the effect of garnering 'get a room' comments from onlookers. What she didn't realize in her reflection back to that holiday highlight was that she had completely forgotten about the bottles she was currently holding. And so, the plastic water bottles dropped to the kitchen floor with successive: 'THUD THUD'.
"You alright?" Chuck asked from back on the couch in the living room.
"I'm fine. I just dropped the water, its fine. Good thing they're plastic," she responded. Sarah picked up the bottles and set them on the counter. Before she shut the refrigerator for good she considered opening and shutting it a couple times to help her cool off. She even chastised herself under her breath for the slip a few moments ago. Sarah was resolved to get the situation under control.
As she walked back into the living room she surveyed and considered all of the possible seating arrangements available to her. She could sit to the right of him on the love seat which had been occupied by Morgan and Anna—that would be a safe bet for keeping her emotions in check. She could resume sitting in the middle of the couch where she previously sat for 'cover purposes'—admittedly, not a good idea at the moment. Then there was the other end of the couch—perfect. She set down his water on the coffee table and plopped down on the other end of the couch. Sarah then opened the bottle and took a long cold drink from it.
"Thanks. Look, I'm really sorry about this," Chuck sighed realizing the increased distance between them.
"It's okay." Sarah already missed the warmth of sitting next to him but she just didn't think she could trust herself after what she felt in a matter of only seconds of only looking into his eyes. Good grief. With that thought, she caught herself doing it again but this time she was able to stop.
"No, now you're going to be stuck here," Chuck responded noticing that she had turned back to the movie.
"Really it's okay," Sarah answered looking straight ahead. She glanced back at him momentarily when he added, "I mean how long could they be in there?"
Neither one of them wanted to touch that question. "Rhetorical question, purely rhetorical . . . I don't want to know, you don't want to know, and god bless him, our friendly RoboCop next door definitely doesn't want to know," Chuck joked as he looked up at the smoke detector.
Sarah's grin gave way to a laugh which Chuck shared with her. It was exactly the kind of comment from him that she had come to rely on to lighten the mood in moments such as these.
"Well, the evening's not a total loss. You're getting in some good character study here by watching this movie," Chuck offered.
"What?" She didn't understand.
"Oh come on, we've had missions at the arcade on Santa Monica Pier, Missile Command exhibitions, shoot outs at the fairgrounds, the opera house, the Glendale Scrabble tournament . . . You can't convince me that a mission to the Westminister Dog Show is not within the realm of possibilities for Team Bartowski," Chuck kidded.
She raised her brows with a smirk.
"I mean anything is possible," Chuck added.
Sarah smiled and responded matter-of-factly, "I have to admit that anything is possible with you." She looked straight into his eyes with a small purposeful grin to make sure that he understood and recognized her affirmation.
[What ever happened to Chuck's dog Peaches? Has Team Bartowski gone to the dogs? And will Morgan and Anna ever get out of that bathroom? All of these questions and more will be answered in the next part of Chapter 10 in Chuck v. The Burning Man]
[A/N: If what you read strikes you in some way, I'd love to hear about it! If you post a review, I promise to send you a scoop as I work on the next chapter!]