The Name Game
Chapter 8
Disclaimer: Look at Prologue
Barron William
Barron sounded too much like Jackie was going to be barren after him. William though, there was still the whole 'Willy' thing. It seemed wrong to have a kid that could possibly have such a crude nickname.
She was now four months and one week along. If she went near poultry or tomatoes, her eyes would water and she would rush to the bathroom. Her breasts were heavier and she was sporting a bump. It wasn't that big and sometimes Jackie got annoyed at how slow it took to get her fat.
Michael slept on the cot five days of the week now. On Saturday nights, he would crash at his parent's or his whore of the week's place. On Tuesday nights, he would sleep at the Formans, because he liked the serenity of the hardly used basement.
Jackie had gotten a bigger bed, since her twin bed was starting to hurt her back. She shared it with Steven, who slept firmly on one side, while she moved in her sleep. In the morning, he would wake up first, Jackie's legs tangled around him and an arm draped around his chest, almost possessively.
Steven would get out, trying not to wake her. Waking Jackie up to go to school was already a pain. He liked to let her sleep when she could. Walking into the kitchen, he would see Kelso already up, showered, and dressed, eating cereal as he watched Tom & Jerry.
"Tom and Jerry?" Hyde asked, turning to the kitchen. Jackie liked oatmeal with brown sugar. She could keep it down, at least, which was the main reason for her liking of it.
"They never get old!" Kelso said, and laughed as Jerry caught Tom and won their little fight and the screen circled to black. Milk dribbled down his chin and Hyde smiled. It was nice how some things didn't change.
"Hey," Eric walked in, without knocking, followed by Kitty. Kitty liked to 'check up' on their house, but really just cleaning everywhere and making sure Jackie had enough food until she came back for another 'check up'.
Hyde started making Jackie's oatmeal. At least, he tried too, until Kitty kicked him out, making the gruel for him. She had magic fingers after all, Hyde had to admit. Pouring himself a bowl of cereal, he sat down to watch Tom smirking as an idea came to him of how to catch the sneaky Jerry.
Eric sat down with them, tagging along, only because he had nowhere else to go. Steven was still in his pajamas of choice-a wifebeater and sweats. Michael had already spilled milk on his striped polo and Eric seemed to look as skinny as Jackie did fat.
"Hello?" Jackie asked, walking in. She smiled, rubbing her eyes and sat on the stool, waiting for her oatmeal.
"Hey Jacks," Steven said, smiling at her, "Dr. Sharp called. She rescheduled your appointment for Monday at three thirty,"
"Are you busy?" She asked
"Kelso and I have detention," He said, apologetic, "We pulled a prank on the football team for messing around with Fez,"
"What happened to Fez?" She asked, her pregnant maternal feelings taking over.
"He came to the basement, completely mummified with duct tape," Eric said, "He hopped the entire way home,"
"Oh," Jackie sighed, kissing Michael and Steven on the foreheads, "But, who's going to take me downtown to my gynecologist's?"
"I'd do it, dear," Kitty said, "But Red has a dentist appointment and since the Novocaine incident last time-" She glanced at Eric who looked down in shame, "He wanted me to be with him at all times to make sure he didn't get overdosed again,"
"I could ask Donna," Jackie mused
"I'll come!" Eric yelled, standing up. He turned red when everyone stared at him, "If Donna's coming,"
"Dude, you're so desperate to be with Donna that you'd willingly go to a ladies part doctor?" Hyde asked, thinking there was a new low to Eric's suffering.
Sutton Pierce
Sutton. That sounded a little artificial, almost ersatz. Pierce though, she still liked that middle name. However, Sutton Pierce sounded as if he was going to come out of her, wearing a wifebeater and spewing expletives.
Donna couldn't come, doing something with Casey. Jackie didn't mind, because she and Donna always spent Sundays and lunches together, so that was enough quality Donna-time for her.
Eric never seemed to have any Donna time on the other hand. Since he had already said he'd go, Eric discovered that he and Fez-simply because the foreign creature wasn't busy as well-were stuck with Jackie.
However, Fez had disappeared, wanting to some lecture about sex. Anything to do with that three lettered word, Fez was there, like a gunshot. Poor guy would probably start a commotion when he realized it was more about abstaining. He was already abstaining, and not because he wanted to be.
Eric stuck to Jackie like glue. Jackie was tired of it. Steven and Kelso were never as annoying.
"Eric, sing to me," She said, sitting on the patient's chair, her legs crossed, because she didn't have any underwear on under her cheap ugly hospital gown.
"No," He said, "I think the doctor would prefer you be wide awake," He frowned, "Is that the only reason you make me sing? Because I make you fall asleep?" He was insulted
"I thought you already knew that," Jackie said, "Besides, it's not like I'm throwing food at you, like Steven does when I haven't asked you to sing something,"
Eric gritted his teeth and sat down. "Why does Donna have to be with a loser like Casey?" He asked
"Because Casey is hot," Jackie said, thinking of the dreamy boy, "But not as hot as my Steven,"
"Huh?" He asked, looking at her. Grinning, Eric said, "Jackie, you think Hyde's hot? You were telling him that his beard looked like furry gerbils were trying to eat his face the other day,"
"Steven's always been hot," Jackie said softly, "I just never saw it as clearly as I do now,"
"Hormones?" Eric asked
She nodded, ashamed, "I'm so turned on that, even Fez is starting to look attractive to me,"
"That's common, for the fourth month," Dr. Sharp said, walking in, "One day, you'll be attracted to all the men around you and the next, they'll all look repulsive,"
"Look, Dr. Sharp," Jackie sighed, "I wake up really early and then pretend to still be asleep, rolling over to my husband's side and trying to get as innocently close to him as possible."
"You do that on purpose?" Eric asked
"Who are you?" Dr. Sharp asked, smiling, "Another father?" She joked
"No, that's just Eric," Jackie said, "He's my husband's friend who's pathetically in love with my best friend even though she's dating this really hot guy that I had a very explicit daydream about the other day,"
"Uh, husband?" Dr. Sharp asked
"Steven and I decided to get married," Jackie smiled, "My dad's being stupid and he wanted me married and settled with some other boy, but I like Steven more. I always thought he was really cute, but lately, it's like I think he's Donny Osmond and I'm holding at strings to not like...jump and rape him or something," She blushed
"The sexual feelings should pass by the time you hit the third trimester," Dr. Sharp said kindly, "Sex is still safe, but I'd recommend the man wearing a condom,"
"Why?" Eric asked, "She's already knocked up,"
"In case of sexually transmitted diseases, along with other diseases," Dr. Sharp said, looking at him, "Have you been to one of our lectures yet?"
"Fez is at one right now," Eric said
"If he was the boy with an unusual accent, then he is not," She corrected him, "Fez, as you call him, was escorted out by security about a half hour ago," She looked at Jackie, "I just want to do an ultrasound and then you can go,"
Jackie nodded, lying back for the procedure, which she had gotten used to by now. It was amazing how much bigger her baby got each time. She had pictures from each sonogram in her baby book, along with the dates and her thoughts at the time.
Moses Thijs
Jackie wasn't even going to consider it. She threw it away without a second thought. Well that wasn't true. Moses was the name of a leader, the sort of kid who collected his own apples. Thijs, she had read somewhere. It was Dutch for Matthew and twice as hard to pronounce.
"Apples," Jackie mumbled, thinking she really wanted an apple.
Steven looked even hotter today. He was wearing one of his shirts that seemed to specialize in showing off his muscled body. Also, his sunglasses were hooked onto the shirt, so his eyes were adding to her hormonal urges.
They needed the annulment though. It was the only reason her father was happy about the baby. Baby wouldn't be a bastard child and Mommy would be nice and skinny to attract a nice rich husband with the help of his money. If they did anything, it'd make it harder for her to leave him.
It didn't help that everyone was gone. It was Sunday, so Michael had said his good byes at six and left with his date. Eric was off spying on Donna, as he usually did, while she was at the movies with Casey. Fez was with Eric, so it didn't look too much like an obvious spy job.
"Jacks?" Steven looked at her, smiling, "You tired?" He asked. She nodded and he smiled, walking over to her and pulling her up, so she was now in his arms-a la honeymoon style. Jackie liked that despite her pregnancy, he acted as if she weighed less then a feather.
"Careful," She couldn't help saying, worried that this might be bad for Baby. Baby didn't seem to mind though.
When Steven tucked her in, saying that he was going to work on some papers before turning in, Jackie was looking into his eyes. All of a sudden she sighed, sat up straighter, looking dead on at Steven and kissed him, albeit a little roughly. He responded, though a little surprised. Pulling back, Steven looked at her, confused.
The kiss had been hot and full of pent up sexual passion from both sides, yes, but it was random on her part anyway. He didn't think that she felt that way about him. At least not since the infamous Veteran's Day incident.
"Jackie?" He asked, looking at her, playing with a few strands of her hair out of habit.
"I'm just really hormonal right now," She said, sighing, "All I can think about is sex. I'm starting to feel worse then Fez!" She moaned, "Sorry, Steven," Jackie squeezed his hand, "I didn't mean to take advantage of you,"
Hyde laughed, "I didn't think a girl would ever say that to me," Jackie thought about her words and giggled as well.
He smiled lightly, "Jackie, if you need to get laid, I am more then willing to help you out,"
"Of course you would be, you boy," She teased, though honored at his words, "I don't want to make this weird relationship even more confusing," Jackie added, biting her lip.
Steven honestly just thought it was hormones and not her heart. Though she did look damn cute with that lip biting thing, Steven wanted nothing more then to take her there and now because of it, but Baby came first. He didn't want any chances to be taken.
Jackie sighed and leaned toward him, kissing Steven softly this time. He responded gently, not wanting to hurt the baby. After a few minutes of exploring his mouth, she pulled away, pecked him on the cheek and fell asleep, a smile on her face.
Steven chuckled. No wonder Kelso had been so addicted to her for their relationship. He'd never cheat on her though.
Kingston McGregor
Her baby was going to be a king. However, McGregor was a last name more then a first. Jackie didn't want a last name for his middle name. And her baby may be a king, but what if he really became a king? King Kingston. So tacky.
Kissing Steven was nice, even if it was just under a ruse of hormones. Jackie would catch herself sneaking glances his way all the time, whether it was watching Fantasy Island, eating dinner, doing her math homework, or drifting off to sleep.
He wouldn't let her go past the innocent kissing stage. Jackie knew that he thought she was just hormonal right now, and taking it out on her husband who hadn't gotten any since she had announced her pregnancy in a rage.
Steven felt that he was going to loose control one of these days whenever he thought of Jackie's short steamy kiss with him. Even her glance toward him made him rush to the bathroom, trying to keep his thoughts on Zen, Red kicking his ass, Forman, and Kelso making an ass of himself. But, all his thoughts came back to her. Cold showers twice a day, had become his 'circle time'.
Phinnaeus Walter
That sounded more like a 40 year old man then a cute little baby who would develop into a 40 year old man someday. Finnie. That was a nice nickname, but Jackie was never going to get onboard with Walter.
Steven was reading a magazine and Jackie put on some lip gloss. The pink shimmery one that she hadn't used since catching Michael with Laurie-the first time. Baby was a nice round bump that Jackie loved to just run her hands over all the time and show off with her maternity clothes.
She hadn't kissed him since her emotional anxiety attack about how attracted she felt to everyone. Steven seemed to almost be avoiding her, even though he was always there whenever she needed him baby-wise. Just not Jackie-wise.
How was she going to rope him into doing it again, Jackie had no idea. She sat on the couch and sighed theatrically.
"Steven, am I fat?"
Steven pulled down his magazine to look at her, and smiled, "Pregnant women are supposed to be fat, Jacks,"
Jackie was now five months along. Dr. Sharp had told her that at her next appointment they could find out if the baby was a boy or girl for sure. Jackie told her that she already knew it was a boy. Dr. Sharp wisely chose to not contradict her.
"Well," Jackie sighed, sticking out her bottom lip a little-that always drove Michael crazy, "Steven, aggh!" She groaned and lay back. Steven abandoned his magazine, coming to sit next to her.
"Jackie, what's wrong?" He asked worried
Jackie looked at him, "Close your eyes, Steven," She commanded. He complied, not knowing what was going on.
Jackie rubbed his chin, where a beard was growing. She had asked before, to have him go back to clean shaved, but Steven had refused, claiming the beard gave him character.
He opened his eyes, still confused. Even though his sunglasses were on, Jackie knew that he was looking at her.
"Keep them shut, Steven,"
"No," He whispered and leaned in, kissing her gently. Jackie giggled and embraced him. How had he known that she wanted that?
"Oh!" Jackie pulled back, surprised. She put a hand on her tummy and Steven was again alarmed.
"He kicked," She whispered, "He never did that before,"
Steven grinned and placed his hand there as well. Nothing happened, but Jackie frowned.
"Steven, kiss me again," She said
He complied, and felt another soft kick. Steven nearly pulled his hand off, surprised.
"What a pervert," Jackie laughed, not really meaning it, "He'll kick for a kiss,"
"I don't mind that system," Steven grinned, leaning in for another kiss. The baby nearly wore himself out with all the fluttering kicks, as Daddy kept his hands on Mommy's tummy.
"Jackie!" Kelso ran in, and Steven lazily unlocked his lips with hers.
"I knew you two liked each other!" He laughed
"No," Jackie said, "The baby kicked,"
"Really?" Michael practically ran the few feet separating him and Jackie to feel the baby.
"Why isn't he kicking?" Michael asked
"Steven," Jackie said, "Steven has to kiss me,"
Steven nodded and kissed her. Sure enough, the baby kicked again, right where Michael's hand was.
"Does it work with me too?" He asked
Steven wanted to know as well, as much as he didn't want to see his friend kissing Jackie, even if they had more of a relationship then he and Jackie ever had.
Jackie kissed him softly for a few seconds and the baby didn't do anything.
"It's like Cinderella," Michael said, grinning, "And Hyde's lips are the shoe!"
"Yeah," Hyde grinned and frogged Kelso
"Ow!" Kelso scowled, "What was that for?"
"You kissed my wife," He said simply.
"How romantic," Jackie sighed and stood up, "Come on, I want to tell everyone that the baby kicked," She dragged Steven along with her, since he was the key.
Darby Galen
It sounded unisex, Jackie thought, but it was cute. Baby was now twenty two weeks along. He seemed like a little giant with all his kicking. However, he wouldn't kick unless Steven was around or Eric made a comment about Star Wars or something equally as geeky. Jackie hoped that "Use the force" didn't mean anything and the baby just didn't want his "Unca Erwic" talking about Star Wars.
It was St. Patrick's Day and Jackie was decked out in green. There was only twenty seven more weeks. Twenty seven more weeks until she was a mommy.
Sullivan Patrick
Boy, she sure was in an Irish mood. Sullivan was nice, but it was the name of a liquor company, if Jackie had Kitty's liquor preferences right. Also, it sounded too much like a last name. Patrick though, that was nice. However, it did have Patty as a possible nickname, so that was a no as well.
Jackie had been pinching people all day for not wearing green. She was in a pretty green sundress that she had insisted on wearing, though Steven complained that it was too cold to wear a summer dress. As a compromise, Jackie put on Steven's ratty old denim jacket, which smelled like blood, soap, and peppermint. The piney scent seemed to be so Steven that Jackie didn't think to call it pine anymore.
She was wearing her favorite pair of clogs and striped green stockings. Boys had been giving her looks, but that was always because of her tummy showing off a too-good-to-be-true actual round and curvaceous bump she couldn't hide under baggy clothes anymore.
"Jackie," Adrian walked up to her, out of breath. Jackie was a little scared. Steven had needed to go to the bathroom and Kelso was late, because Jackie had begged him to pick up some fries for her. She looked frantically for Donna or Fez. Stupid Donna was off with Casey and Fez was probably in a football locker again. Poor Fez.
She did spot Eric, but he pretended not to see her. Jackie knew he wouldn't be much of a fight anyway. Adrian could probably clock him with one gaze. Jackie glared at him and mouthed 'Find Steven'. He nodded, because he could do that.
"What do you want?" She hissed. He started dragging her toward an empty classroom. Locking the door, Adrian looked at her.
"Why did you marry him?" He asked,, "Hyde can't give you even a sixteenth of what I can offer,"
"He already has," Jackie said, "And so much more!" She started to cry, scared to death.
"You've ashamed my family," Adrian said, ignoring her sobs, "My father can't even stand to look me in the eye anymore! Apparently some bum from the streets is better then his own son for Councilman Burkhart's daughter!"
"Steven is not a bum!" Jackie said, "Nor does he live on the streets!" These were true anyway. He had a roof under his head and someone to watch over him...most of the time.
"You're a cheap two cent knocked up floozy!" Adrian yelled, upset, "Your dad was going to give you the wedding of your dreams and a good decent life!"
"I already have that, without the help of my father!" Jackie yelled, her eyes sharp. Jackie's father had been a sore subject since she'd told him about marrying Steven.
Suddenly the door got knocked down. Adrian turned white, for none other then a Mr. Steven Hyde was now in the classroom, sunglasses off, fists up, and a very angry look on his face.
Sage Moonblood.
Sage was a common herb. However, the name was original, Jackie admitted thoughtfully. Moonblood sounded really wolflike though. And it really wasn't that original. He had been born the other day. But only to Sylvester Stallone.
Steven had three days suspension, for fighting. Adrian had gotten off scot-free, except for a week's detention for provoking Steven and scaring her as well. As for Jackie, the school had asked her to see a psychiatrist for her emotional issues.
Jackie had blown off the shrink and spent three hours holding an ice bag to poor Steven's eye. At least he had managed to pull Adrian's arm out of his socket. Adrian was in a hospital wing, learning that he would have to start doing everything left handed and his entire arm would have to be amputated. As if that wasn't enough, Jackie gave all the girls a vicious rumor about Adrian that they wholeheartedly believed, because to them-preggers didn't have any reason to lie.
Moon Unit
New Rule: No names with the word 'moon' in them. Plus some celebrity had named his daughter that a decade ago. Poor Moon Unit Zappa.
"Thank you," Jackie said, smiling at Steven. He had stood up for her, and no one else had ever done that.
"No one should scare pregnant women," Hyde growled. He had skewed morals when it came to men and women. Donna wouldn't hesitate in calling him racist to the feminist movement. Jackie couldn't care less about feminism and Steven was her bearded knight in grungy clothes.
Jackie kissed him softly, "You have nice lips," She told him
"You have nice everything," Steven countered, looking adoringly at the big bump, "I particularly like this part," He rubbed her tummy.
"Me too," Jackie said, giggling.
"Guys!" Kelso ran in, excited. He was jumping up and down, unable to speak.
"What?" Jackie asked, giggling and Steven looked at him, changing into his 'Hyde' mask.
"You'll never ever believe-" Kelso stopped and patted Jackie's tummy, "Hi baby," He cooed, forgetting whatever he was going to originally say, "How's baby today? Is baby good?"
"Kelso?" Hyde asked, "What's the news, buddy?"
"Oh yeah!" Kelso grinned and frowned, "Damn, Hyde!" He scrunched up his face, "I forgot!"
"No swearing in front of Baby," Jackie said quickly, "Say 'Dang it, Hyde' next time,"
"Sorry," Michael apologized, "Oh, and Kitty wanted me to tell you that she signed you up for La Matzo classes,"
"And you say I'm kosher," Hyde said, smiling
"You are!" Kelso yelled
"I'm going to find Kitty and ask her when my Lamaze classes are," Jackie said, waddling into the bedroom where there was her own phone.
"Oh!" Kelso grinned, "Donna wants to throw Jackie a surprise baby shower!"
"Is that what you were going to say earlier?" Hyde asked, surprised at Kelso's acting. He and Jackie hadn't suspected anything from the usually Fez-like boy.
"No," Kelso frowned, "OH!" He grinned, "I saw a boob!"
Hyde clapped the excited Kelso and chuckled. He had no doubt Michael would be a good father as long as he was around to make sure the kid didn't get lost. Hyde wasn't too sure about himself. The closest thing he had to a father was Red "Foot in the Ass" Forman.
Would he be a good father? Hyde wasn't too sure about that part, but he knew that Red would help him out if he said all the right things. Eric didn't know the right things to say when starting a conversation with his father, which Hyde found sad. It had only taken three minutes for the fatherless boy to pick up on how to converse with a man like Red.
Cruz David
It sounded like the Vista Crusier. She didn't want to name her kid after Eric's ratty old car. David was also her father's middle name and another reason.
Twenty four weeks equaled six months. That meant only three more months until Jackie had a baby in her arms.
She often looked around in Baby's room. It seemed to be missing something, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Steven would often join her, wrapping his arms around her, and his hands would come to rest on her widening tummy. Jackie was thankful for protective Steven, who would glare at anyone that dared to make a remark about her weight gain in front of her at school.
Since the whole incident with Adrian, no one had actually dared to even speak to Jackie when Steven was around. He was protective of the tiny little girl. Only 'approved' people such as Donna, Forman, Kelso, and Fez were allowed near the glowing mother to be.
"We need a crib huh?" He asked, kissing her on the cheek. Steven and Jackie may have been married, but their relationship was more of a 'friends with benefits' manner, sneaking little kisses here and there, but nothing past that. Neither kid realized how much they'd come to depend on the other.
"Couple of other baby things too," Jackie said, "Clothes, diapers, that sort of thing,"
"Hey guys!" Kelso came barreling in, holding up a bag. He grinned exuberantly, "How's Baby?" Kelso asked, as he always asked after Jackie's bump first.
"Doing good," Jackie said, "I have an appointment tomorrow, if you wanna come with? Steven's got work and he made me quit my job," She glared at him
"You said yourself that the cheese smell was making you nauseous," Hyde said, patiently, "Besides, Kelso's got his modeling and I have WB's store,"
WB, along with Angie, had been a recent discovery. Apparently he was Steven's father, Bud being a stand in. Jackie saw no reason to doubt WB, who also had a fro. She was in something of the same situation anyway, with Kelso and Hyde in the running as Daddy.
She didn't see a romantic future with Micheal. She could see him doing little things like teaching a little boy how to ride a bike or set off a firecracker. Steven though, she could definitely see herself growing old with.
He would be the one next to her in their luxurious master bed, his thumping chest rocking her to sleep. The kids would come up and crawl into bed, or come shooting in, screaming that it was Christmastime, jumping up and down, in an attempt to wake up Mommy and Daddy.
Steven could wear a tuxedo and look like a dashing young Cary Grant. (Perhaps Jackie had spent too much time watching old movies with Kitty "Mrs. Cary Grant" Forman) When his sunglasses weren't on, Jackie was always wondering if the baby would have his perfect blue eyes, or Kelso's equally perfect Jaclyn Smith-like hair. Either way, it was a win-win.
There was a tiny part of her though, that wanted desperately for the baby to be Steven's.
"Check this out!" Kelso said, pulling out a sleeper with the words I (HEART) MY DADDIES, "For, you know, the baby," He explained. It hadn't really been awkward with the two about who Baby's real Daddy was. They had decided that they wouldn't do the DNA thing and just raise the kid with two daddies and one mommy.
"That is so cheesy," Steven said, shaking his head. But he was also grinning
"It's cute," Jackie said, chuckling, "Is there one for his Mommy too?"
"Nah, but I did find this," Kelso pulled out a pink sleeper with the words MOMMY'S LITTLE SHOPPER, "If it's a boy, we can wait until Forman and Donna pop out their's," He explained, grinning
"Where are you finding these things?" Hyde asked, laughing. Jackie gasped and took the sleeper, marveling in its size.
"There's a baby store next to the dynamite place," Kelso explained, "I bought a bunch of bottle rockets too!"
"Which has to be out of here by the time that Baby's born," Jackie said, "This entire place needs to be babyproofed, by then actually,"
"Fine then," Hyde shrugged, looking around, "Shouldn't be too hard. Just get Kelso a cage and we should be set,"
Daniel Wayne
----------------------------------------------------------
I am so sorry for the 2 week wait! I had a sore throat which meant that I had to miss school, which meant that I had makeup homework which means that it wasn't until today that I could post this.
By Shiloh Nouvel, I was referring to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daughter. They're an international jet setting couple, so I was surprised to see that some of you didn't know about Shiloh. Perhaps I should've written Maddox Chivan or Zahara Marley. That teaser was to signify that all these baby names came from celebrites.
Brownie points to anyone that can correctly ID all the names. (Do not take this seriously and only do this if you are really, truly, and horrendously bored)
Rest in peace, Anna Nicole! (Yes, I am an Anna Nicole addict. I've been on the Web constantly, both to figure out who's getting her daughter and just how she died as well as the court battles she left in her wake)
On Sunday (Day before President's Day), I swear, there will be an update. Just check around seven PM or so and I am returning to the usual names format. I just wanted a chapter to showcase all the celebrity ones.
Drop a name or two! And thank you for the support you've all shown to me.