Chapter 9

Fire was not complicated.

John sat in the mess hall for breakfast but he wasn't all that hungry. After he froze up on Wanda the night before he had gone back to his room trying to put everything into perspective. This wasn't the first time he had been yelled at, Remy had done it on more than one occasion, but in those moments he simply acquiesced to the argument and backed away.

Something had happened while he sat there with Wanda that simply made him snap, his brain shutting off and his body reacting on muscle memory. He knew, knew, Wanda wasn't going to hurt him but he couldn't get that translated to the rest of his body.

Once he realized that he wasn't going to figure out why this happened, he proceeded to write at least seven thousand words on his story.

"John," he heard Wanda's voice behind him before she sat down next to him at the table.

When he finally got her text he responded with 'breakfast' which sounded like a good idea at the time.

"Hey," he tried to give her a smile but he was feeling like crap.

"I'm sorry I yell—"

"Don't," he sighed tiredly, "I insulted you, you reacted naturally. I'm the one who goaded you, I should have been nicer about it."

She blinked, then creased her brow, "I'm not going to let you sit there and put the blame on yourself. That's what abuse victims do when they rationalize going back to their abusers."

Now that hurt.

"But you're not abusing me," the words tasted like metal in his mouth, "I still screwed up."

"Then so did I," she took his hand and held it firmly, his body tensing, "I screwed up just as much. I deserve at least half the blame."

"No, you don't," he had to make her understand, "couples argue, it's just a part of being a couple, we'll never agree on everything. Even Jean and Scott argue on occasion," she looked like she was going to say something so he kept going, "I don't know what will set me off, it's not fair to you. You have opinions, you're a strong woman, you should never feel like you can't express yourself."

Wanda worked her jaw for a moment and he braced himself for the breakup that was coming.

Instead, the beautiful woman pulled forward and kissed him. Even without his irrational reactions he still would have been taken off guard by the passion and deepness of the kiss. Eventually he was able to at least put his hand on her side, leaning into the kiss.

"Ahem," a voice cleared their throat and they looked up to see Pietro standing behind them, arms crossed. "Someone not read the PDA rules?"

"Stow it," she glared at her brother and Pyro liked the fire that lit in her eyes when she did that.

Rolling his eyes, Pietro walked back to his usual table leaving the couple to address what just happened.

"I'm not willing to give up," she told John confidently, "we can figure this out."

John looked down at their clasped hands, part of him wanting to tell her that he applied to Yale but another telling him he would get rid of his escape route if he did. He should break up with her, save her from having to deal with such a broken person. Leave and go to Australia, as far away from her as possible.

Oh, who was he kidding.

Relationships were complicated.

Fire was uncomplicated.

Wanda was his fire.

No matter what, he was screwed.

"We can figure this out," he echoed her words and tried to believe them as he said them.

…

"So, about what Remy said," it was Wednesday and both teams were made to run instead of playing dodgeball. John and Wanda were in no real hurry to be the fastest and settled into an even gait, enjoying the afternoon.

"Remy says a lot of things," Wanda replied dryly.

"You know," John was cute when he was being, well, cute, "about first base."

The day before at lunchtime Remy was in a particular mood because Marie was avoiding him so he couldn't apologize. Wanda said she'd try to say something to Marie but hadn't really had the chance. She wasn't even sure she should, Remy had been an absolute jerk to her but she supposed that maybe John was right, he wasn't in his right mind at the time. If Remy was at least trying, well, at least he was trying.

But Remy was still in a foul disposition and called John out on his lack of touchy-feely endeavors. Also, t quantity of John and Wanda's kisses hadn't gone up much either over the past few months, although the quality had greatly improved, but John's hands never went anywhere but her sides.

"What about it?" she played it off.

"Well, he's right," it was hard to tell the tone of his voice as they were both breathing a little heavier than normal due to the fact they were jogging.

"No, he said that you can't get past first base," she pointed out a technicality in his wording, "just because you haven't copped a feel yet doesn't mean you won't ever."

John was quite for a moment, "Are you giving me permission to grab your boobs?"

She stifled a laugh, "Sure John, whenever you feel like it."

"Okay," he said that as if he wasn't sure what to do with the information but at the same time was quite interested in the prospect.

If it had been anyone else, they probably would have stopped and felt her up right then, but this was John. He didn't like to be touched, especially when it came to his back where the scars where. Wanda surmised that in his mind he decided, in some roundabout way, that others didn't like to or shouldn't be touched either.

To be honest, she was a little torn about this. On one hand she liked that John wasn't pressuring her into anything. She had been around when Jason tried the 'if you love me you'll sleep with me' on Jean and was promptly put in his place. It was a situation she didn't want to find herself in, though that was the extreme.

But on the other hand, she liked it when he held her, when his body was close and warm, when he touched her face at the dance. So far every caress had been given to her as if it was a cherished moment. More and more she had found herself fantasizing about him and it was a getting a little frustrating.

She was then beginning to wonder if she was just as messed up as John.

…

"So wait," Wanda creased her brow, "he didn't actually apologize for blaming you?"

"I think in his mind he thought he was," Marie rolled her eyes as sat on Wanda's desk chair, Wanda lounging on her bed with her school books in front of her. "He just didn't trust me, you know? That's what hurt and he couldn't see that."

"Don't know what to say then," Wanda sighed, she really didn't. "But hey, you're broke up now, he's got a kid on the way with his soon to be wife, you're so better than this."

"Better than what?" her friend frowned.

"Moping," she had to be honest. "You wanted to be single for awhile, find yourself, you're not going to do that if you keep looking at him and letting him get under your skin."

"Yeah, I know," Marie sighed, slumping into the chair. It looked like she was going to say something else but a noise sounded from her computer causing Marie to jump and Wanda laughed at her.

"It's just an IM," Wanda rolled her eyes.

Marie tapped the mouse and woke the screen up. The computer wasn't locked so it went straight to the desktop and she saw the flashing message on the taskbar. "It's from Pyro."

"Read it for me would you?" she was feeling way too lazy to get up off the bed.

"Is it… safe?" Marie asked slowly.

"Safe?" it took her a second for that to click. "Oh, sorry, didn't I mention John and I send sexually explicit messages to each other all the time?"

"Hey," Marie pouted, "don't make fun of me, it's a real thing!"

"Well," she couldn't help herself, "John does have a delightful way with words when he wants to…"

"I officially hate you now," the grin on her friend's face totally belied her words.

"Come on, it's safe," Wanda assured her, "tell me what it says."

"Okay," a bit timidly, Marie opened up the IM. "Um, Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes,... being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet," she paused for a second, "I have no idea what that means."

"It's John being lazy and quoting Shakespeare," she laughed, trying to formulate a response, "normally I get something original."

"Original, really?" Marie seemed surprised at this despite knowing John was the school's best writer, even Xavier said so. Unfortunately, all anyone ever read or heard was the class mandated assignments that he 'had' to share.

"Yeah, he sends me little snippets now and again," she gestured to a crimson leather journal on her desk, "I copy them into there."

Marie grabbed the book and started to read through the first couple of pages, "Oh, wow, these are really good."

"I know, right?" she was grinning ear to ear, "still waiting for him to actually let me read something more substantial though."

"There are a lot of references to fire in here," Marie was several pages in now.

"Noticed that huh?" Wanda laughed, there was a reason everyone liked to call him Pyro. "Hey, send a reply for me."

"Sure," Marie sat the journal down but stuck a piece paper into it to save her place, then got herself ready to input a message. "Shoot."

"Tell him…" she had a wicked grin on her face, "Romeo was a dumbass."

"Okay," Marie was obviously trying not to laugh as she typed the words and hit send. A minute passed and he hadn't replied.

"It's fine," Wanda shrugged, "he probably needed a mental break and is back to writing."

"How much writing does he do?" the older girl asked as she grabbed the journal and started reading the rest of the contents.

"I don't know," she really didn't though she suspected, "but I gave him a journal like that one for his birthday and he's already filled it up. I got a larger one for Christmas and it's filled too."

"That's a lot of writing," she said appreciatively, turning a page.

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone about it," Wanda chewed her lip realizing that she might have actually over stepped her bounds just a bit, "he keeps them hidden but if the X-boys know about them they might decide to do some prank, like, dunno, take them and scan pages to share around or something."

Marie glanced at her and nodded, "If he doesn't even let his girlfriend read them then I can imagine he'd be petrified if they got around like that, don't worry, his secret is safe with me."

"Well, unlike Remy," Wanda smiled at her, "I trust you."

"Oh, don't even bring that up again," Marie sighed dramatically then continued her reading, "but yeah, I always knew Pyro was a romantic, all the roses was a dead giveaway, but this, this is something special," she closed the book and looked at he with what could only be described as a touch of envy, "you really are one lucky girl."

"Yeah," she was lucky, sometimes unnaturally so, but lately she was wondering if she was unlucky for some, John in particular.

"What's wrong?" her friend asked and Wanda debated saying anything, chewing on her lip for a second.

"You can't let it leave this room," she said and immediately thought it was a stupid thing to say considering who she was talking to, "but, yes, John is a total romantic, on paper," she gestured to the book, "but in person, he's an emotional wreck."

"Really?" Marie blinked at that. "I never noticed."

"Because he's conditioned himself to avoid certain situations," Wanda tried to explain, "like, he doesn't get into arguments with people, ever notice that? Not even over what pizza toppings to have, and if one does occur, he'll give in or remove himself from the situation."

"He does?" the girl paused and Wanda let her think about that for a few minutes. "You're right, but, that's not what I would call emotional wreck material."

"On its own, no," she agreed that while it was questionable, it was only the tip of things, "and he doesn't like to be touched, especially on his back. And fast movements, forget about it. He doesn't usually let people get that close to him but any sharp movement within striking distance and he tenses like he's going to get hit."

"But why would… he… oh…" realization dawned on the Southerner's face. "Is that why you two haven't, you know, made out?"

Wanda frowned, "Has everyone noticed that?"

"Maybe not everyone," Marie did not sound reassuring, "but I hang out with you a lot."

Groaning, she rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling, the last thing she needed was for her love life to become idle gossip. She hated idle gossip, that was for people like Jean and Kitty.

"So, wait," Marie said after a moment, "are you annoyed that your boyfriend doesn't make out with you?"

"No," Wanda sighed, "it's not like that."

"Sounds like it to me," her friend countered, "I mean, you have a romantic boyfriend who is sweet and not trying to grope you every five seconds. Sounds good to me."

She decided to just come out and say it, "He's afraid I'll hit him."

"Say what now?"

"I told you," Wanda got a little irritable but not at Marie, "someone gets close to him and he starts to panic at every movement."

Marie was silent for a long moment, "And he lets you get close to him…"

"And all I do is aggravate his condition," her eyes started to well up and she took some deep breaths, she wasn't going to become 'wrought' and 'emotional', "I literally made him cry the other day."

The other girl was quiet and Wanda could just imagine the look she was possibly giving her and chose not to find out if she was right.

"And selfishly," she continued on, she had to tell someone, "I stay with him. I hurt him but I won't let him go. I want… I want to help him… I want to… fix him…" she buried her face in her hands. "I'm some messed up Florence Nightingale."

It was messed up, it really was. Relationships should not be based on one person trying to 'fix' the other, turn them into something they wanted.

After a solid minute she heard Marie move from her seat on the chair over to the bed. "Okay, I want you to listen to me. One, crazy people don't think they're crazy, so the fact that you can recognize you're trying to fix him means that at least you are aware of the issue, that's half the battle right there."

Wanda peaked through her fingers at her friend, was she actually encouraging her?

"Two," Marie held up her index and middle finger, "it's not like you're trying to turn a geek into a yuppie, it sounds like John has some serious emotional issues, ignoring that would be just as bad if not worse."

"I only hurt him," she countered weakly.

"And so will the next girl," Marie pointed out, "and the next, until someone who cares about him decides to help him and be there for him. There's a reason why people stage 'interventions'. Now I doubt he's that bad, but you get my point," her friend crossed her arms, "it may not work out between you two, you could be together forever, but if you care about him, then you'll at least be here for him as his friend. The actual girlfriend part of it may just have to come later."

Wanda stared up at her friend in slight awe, "When did you get so wise?"

"Dunno," the woman shrugged, "probably around the time my not-actually-boyfriend's fiancée told me I should sleep with her betrothed while I had the chance, this only weeks before he managed to get her pregnant?"

That caused the Romanian to blink, "Yeah, you win."

"It ain't a contest, sugah," Marie patted her on the arm and stood as she heard the IM go off again. She tapped open the window and read the message from John, "He says 'Totally, you think he'd wonder why she wasn't starting to rot and bloat and realize something hinky might be going on.'" Marie laughed, "Oh yeah, he's a keeper."

Continue onto Chellerbelle's Gym Class Heroes – Chapter 33