Hooray…Were Here

Mission Start: Recruiting the Liar

I woke up the next morning will Luffy staring right in my face, again.

I frowned and clocked him in the side of the head. He rolled to the side laughing.

I sat up and saw Zoro looking out at the ocean and Nami sitting in the corner looking rather pissed off.

"Heh heh heh, you're awake!" Luffy cheered.

"Yeah no shit, smart-ass."

I'm kinda grumpy in the morning.

Luffy hopped up onto his perch on the 'guys' ship and chomped up a few apples.

Nami finally stood up and said, "We can't go on like this. We won't make it to the Grand Line like this."

Luffy retorted, "-chomp- yeah, were gonna need a lot more meat. Eating fruit all the time is for the birds."

"Yeah," Zoro added in, "and some booze as well."

Nami groaned and started going on about the Grand Line, and a ship, and blah blah blah. I was just enjoying the pretty view…of the…horizon…

Ok ok, I was looking at Nami. So what?

Wait, I just realized, I haven't had contact with a computer for a week and a half!

You ever go on a family trip, or an extented field trip without the use of your computer for a few days, and you get the I=internet withdrawal shakes.=?

…Oh well, not that important. Yet.

"Where should we start in acquiring all these things you want Nami? And, more importantly, how do you plan on buying it?" I snidely asked.

She responded by knocking me over my head.

-BONK-

Good answer.

"Anyways, there is an inhabited island nearby. We could stock up on things there."

Oh boy…Usopp. Hurrah hurrah.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't really hate him; it's just that he seems like such a puss in the anime, I wasn't so thrilled to meet him in person.

"ALRIGHT! FRESH MEAT!"

"And booze as well."

"And maybe some medical treatment, please." I added, rubbing the bump on my head.

After some more sailing, we docked at the beach. I leaped onto the ground and hugged it.

"Oh how I missed you. Solid, not swaying, ground."

"You'll have some troubles ahead if you want to be a pirate and can't take some sea travel." Nami said jokingly.

I hesitated for a second.

"Are you even a pirate?" She asked me.

"Heheh…whatever."

I wasn't really paying attention, but there was some commotion going on at the beach.

Luffy get shot at by some unknown assailant hiding in the trees.

Then, all of a sudden...

-WHOOSH-

Dozens of pirate flags shot out from the bushes.

And cue Usopp entering with his stupid fake courage in 6…5…4…3…2…

"HAHAHAHA! I AM USOPP! CAPTAIN OF THE PIRATES WHO CONTROL THIS ISLAND!"

Damn, I was off by a few seconds.

Usopp was a very strange guy to see in person. The long nose and dopey face made him instantly recognizable, and he wore a bandanna and brown overalls.

"MY CREW OF 8,000,000 SUPER PIRATE SOLDIERS WILL…"

I wasn't in the mood do deal with this shit.

In a split second I morphed my arm and aimed at the left of his 'crew.'

I was just about to take a good chunk out of his crew when I got a great idea.

I let my arm take in the energy around me. It felt as if my arm was inhaling all the air around me. My gun arm grew brighter and brighter.

Usoppp looked panicked. "Uh…As I said. MY CREW OF 8,000,000 SUPER PIRATE SOLDIERS WILL…"

-KABOOM-

The explosion obliterated the entire right half of the cliff. Trees, flags, rock, all gone.

"Die easily?" I said, finishing his sentence.

Usopp had a look of pure terror.

His eyes were a foot from his face, his jaw dropped to the ground, and he was making some weird gurgling sounds.

I looked back, rather lazily, at my crew.

Luffy's eyes were gleaming brightly and repeating the phrase "SO COOL!"

Nami was just as scared as Usopp, but wasn't as exaggerated. Zoro looked a little panicked, but other than that took it completely well.

"Un…unbelievable." Nami gasped.

I was tired and didn't feel like making a big deal out of it.

n fact my power reminded of me as Megaman, which didn't lighten my mood.

Bazooka? What was I thinking?

Usopp still looked terrified, but it soon changed to anger as he pulled his slingshot and threatened us, blah blah.

Luffy intimidates him, etc. etc.

I didn't have the patience to give you all the details, so let's just skip to the good part.

Eventually Luffy and Usopp began talking about a guy named Yasopp, and they seemed to bond over that.

Usopp invited us to the local restaurant and have a bite to eat…munch munch.

I was sitting next to Luffy and ate as much as he did.

Somehow it turned into a competition and we were eating whole legs of mutton, bushels of apples, and baskets of bread.

It ended when he decided to talk to Usopp about his dad, so I was left to look at Nami with food all over my face looking like a fool.

What a fool!

Shut up Mick!

Ha! That's my new nickname for him, Mick. Ha!

I'm so clever.

"Soooo Usopp, do you know anyone who could give us a ship?" Nami quickly said.

"Sorry, our town is pretty small." Usopp casually said.

"What about that mansion at the top of the hill?" Zoro questioned.

"Maybe we could ask…" Nami began to say, but was cut off by Usopp.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM THERE!"

I jumped at his outburst.

Then he freaked out, made up an excuse, and bolted.

"We should follow him." I said.

"Why?" Nami asked.

"Do you want to pay for the bill?" I said smiling.

She quickly stood up and said, "Follow him!"

We followed him out to the mansion, but were cut off by the hedge fence.

Those weird vegi-midgets joined up with us and told us there was no way in, but Luffy stretched his arms, we all grabbed on stupidly, as he yelled out, "GUM GUM ROCKET!"

We flew through the air. Luffy landed first, I landed on the ground, Zoro landed in some bushes, and Nami landed on me! She quickly swayed me away cursing and I just stood up and rubbed my sore back.

We looked up and saw Usopp, in a tree, with Kaya in the window seal.

Now I need to mention in the anime her clothes looked pretty solid. But here…well it kinda showed some things. It must have been one of those transparent lingerie-type underwear (what? I'm just stating the facts people!) I won't go into detail…ok, it showed her nipples.

There, you happy? And her breast weren't that small either. She was over-average size, but nothing compared to…ahh…Nami's (heh heh…I'm sorry…)

She was cute: her skin was pale white, her hair faded blonde, and her face was petite but looked fragile.

I could see why Usopp would like her, that's all I'm saying.

"Hey, can we ask you a favor?" Luffy called out.

Before she could answer, a dark voice called out, "Hey you, over there!"

Ugh…Captain Kuro, or Klahadore as he goes by now, strolled up towards us.

I hated that guy, not just because of what he will do, but because he is such a PUSS!

In every sense of the word. What a fucking jerk.

Goes so low for no good reason. I could kill him right now and would not give two shits. But this is Luffy's battle, not mine.

"Get out." He said while fixing his glasses like a pansy.

"Hey guys, who's he?" Luffy asked.

"Klahadore!" Kaya called out.

"I want you all to leave these grounds immediately." He said coldly.

"Stop it Klahadore!" Kaya persisted.

"Miss Kaya, please stay out of this. I shall deal with these lowlifes."

Ok, he has two chances left before I got ballistic on him. I cracked my fingers. I was itching to fight him.

"Hey! Could you help us? We need pirate ship!" Luffy stupidly called out.

The butler just scoffed and said, "Absolutely not. Like I would help such low-life scum such as yourselves."

One more buddy, and your ass is beat.

"Just like your father, Usopp."

Ok, that was uncalled for.

I was about to strike, but Usopp was way ahead of me. He jumped from the tree, darted toward him, and punched him in the face.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FATHER! My father is a brave warrior of the sea! I am proud to be his son! The son of a PIRATE!"

Kuro just got back up and rubbed the bruise on his face, faking it like a bitch. Or maybe he is such a bitch that a weakling like Usopp could actually hurt him (no offense Usopp but he is kinda weak.)

"You see Miss Kaya, his kind are all the same." He said in "pain."

"Yo, you with the glasses…" I said.

He looked at me, I grinned at him, and I decided to take a leaf out of Kory's book and wagged my middle finger at him while saying, "Shat de FUCK up."

Everyone stared at me, except Luffy who started laughing, as I walked over to the butler. I took my time, cracking my neck as I walked.

"And what do you want, boy?"

OK, NOW YOU DIE!

I tried to kept my cool as I said, "I'm sorry, did you just call me boy?"

"Yes, yes I did." He said back.

I looked back at Zoro, who was giving a look that said, Oh that guy is in for it.

I gave him an evil grin, and in a split second slipped into my boxing stance and gave him one strong jab to the stomach.

I completely lost my cool as I yelled, "MY NAME IS SCREAVER, GOD DAMN IT! NOT BOY! IS IT THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M 18 FOR FUCKSAKE!"

He flew back and slammed into a tree. Everyone gasped as my REALLY angry glare was fixed on that damn butler.

"KLAHADORE!" Kaya screamed in terror.

I don't care. The guy is shit after all, even though no one knows it yet.

The guy got back up, probably not even harmed by my attack but got back up still pretending he was just some butler.

"You won't get your hands on her. Never…" He said with fake emotion.

"Quit the shit you lying son of a bitch! I know your game…"

And then I made my biggest mistake… "1000 plan-man."

He froze. His eyes widened.

Let's just say his "OH SHIT!" face was priceless.

"Oh? You remember that name? Well you should. You need to tie up your past ends up better…Klahadore. Or should I say Ku…"

Before I could finish, Kaya yelled, "Stop this at once! Leave this place immediately!"

I turned around at looked at her. She was angry. Really angry.

I shrugged and walked back saying quietly, "pffffff, whatever. Damn pirate will get what he deserves later."

The only ones who didn't hear me were Kaya, Usopp, and the kids. Luffy, Zoro, and Nami stared at me wondering what the hell I was doing.

"Come on, we got to prepare."

"Hold it!" Kuro yelled at me. "Who are you? What do you mean?"

I looked back, smiled, and said in a New Yorker accent, "My name is Screaver Bartel, just your average delinquent who knows a lot of things about a lot of things. Don't fuck with me."

I really regret doing this.