Tony wakes up several days later in an unfamiliar white room, the smell of antiseptic burns his nose. The smell helps him place his location, he's at a hospital. He blinks as the room comes into focus, the lights are harsh as his eyes struggle to adjust.
"Tony." Pepper's voice calls to him, his eyes roll sideways toward her voice. A longing fills his chest, as he takes in her beautiful face. He feels a hand over his own and he assumes it's hers.
"Where am I, Pep?" He groans, his voice coming out as a soft broken melody.
"New York General Hospital." Pepper squeezes his hand. "Do you remember what happened?"
Tony cringes at the memory, wishing he didn't. "Yeah, Pep. I do."
"Do you know how nice it is to hear your voice?" Pepper begins crying. "I thought… I thought..."
"Don't say it, Pepper." Tony strokes her palm with his thumb. His own voice just as shaky as Pepper's. He slowly reaches up with his other hand to wipe her tears away. "Don't cry either. I'll be fine in a few days."
"You know, I care about you more than anything in the world, Tony."
"No you don't, Pep. I'm not worth it. You said so yourself."
"Oh, Tony. I was mad and I didn't realize..."
"Let's fight later. Right now I just want you to be here."
"As long as you promise they'll be a later, Tony."
"I promise, Pepper." He kisses the back of her hand and closes his eyes once more. While he dozes, she strokes his unusually long hair back out of his eyes. She mentally notes to make him a haircut appointment with his favorite stylist the moment he's released from the hospital.
Once Tony has gone to sleep for the night, Pepper goes back to Stark Tower to give everyone an update on his condition and get some sleep. She hadn't left Tony's side since he'd been admitted to the hospital and had only slept when Howard had come in during the day. For the last five days, Howard had given the Avengers updates on Tony's condition, but none had been allowed in to see him. They all wanted answers, and Pepper was the only one who could really give them.
Pepper takes a deep breath before walking into the living room where all the Avengers have gathered. Clint had arrived at the tower after Steve had contacted them informing them of the situation. Howard is in the room as well, Maria had taken ill and wasn't able to get out of bed.
"Tony's awake." Pepper hears a sigh travel around the room as everyone reacts to the news. "Well he was a few hours ago, he's gone to bed for the night."
"That's great news." Thor booms. "This must mean the Man of Iron is strong once more."
"Sort of." Pepper doesn't want to crush the mood, but there's more she must tell the group. She takes a deep breath stalling for time as well as preparing herself. "Physically, he's much better. It's mentally that is going to take some time to heal." Pepper looks down at her hands. "Tony isn't alright, he hasn't been for a long time." She feels tears form in her eyes. "Longer than any of you have known him, maybe even longer than I've known him." She blinks back tears. "Tony has PTSD, he has since he escaped from Afghanistan, but he hasn't dealt with it. He's denied it and repressed all feelings, I didn't realize how much it had affected him until… well until more things happened. New York, nearly set him over the edge, he was insane with work, with protecting those he held close. But that nearly killed both of us… he swore he'd get help that he'd get better. And I thought he did, but he just got better at hiding it. His mind has turned his very thoughts into poison, Tony's always had a knack for self destruction, but now it's so subconscious that I don't know if it can be fixed. But it goes even further than that, Tony is clinically depressed, he has been for years and years if what Howard tells me is true. His depression is severe, when he was a teenager he was heavily medicated for it, apparently once Howard was gone from his life, Tony stopped taking his medicine which is why he drank. You all probably don't know much about depression, but if it's not treated it will rot the mind until a person can see no good in life, no good in themselves. Combine those two key factors with Tony's other misguided traits and personality quirks, and… well… I don't know if Tony can get better." This time Pepper can't hold back the tears, they come pouring forward. Natasha takes pity on her and helps her into a chair. After a few minutes in which Pepper manages to calm down and the Avengers process the information she's given them, Pepper speaks again. "You can all go and see him tomorrow if he'll let you in. It's his choice though, not mine." With that Pepper collects herself up off the couch walks to her rooms several floors up.