We waited another two months to tell Sif, although from the sounds of things she knew something was different. It did make me laugh every time she poked Tamsin's stomach and told her mama how fat she was getting. 'Thanks buddy.' Tamsin would always sulk, covering her stomach self consciously until I pulled her in for a kiss.

We finally decided to tell her on her fourth birthday along with the rest of our family who had clearly already guessed from the potbelly underneath Tamsin's fitted dress.

"There's one more present for you baby." I tickled her side as she happily bounded around in front of Acacia asking if she had wings like mama's.

"Where is it?!" Sif grinned, eager to tear open another present as I handed her a huge teddy bear wrapped in ribbon, a gift tag stuck to his neck.

"Do you want to read the tag with mommy?" I asked, picking her up and sitting her on my knee as I pronounced each syllable.

"Dear Sif, I can't wait to meet you - happy birthday, love your little sister or brother." I announced loudly.

"About time you let the cat out of the bag, we didn't know if you were going to just tell us after you gave birth." Trick laughed, standing up to kiss Tamsin on the cheek but respecting her boundaries enough to not touch her tummy, aware of how sensitive she was this time around.

"Wait, I have a little brother?" Sif beamed, wiggling out my lap to run around and look for him.

"You might do, or you might have a little sister! We have to wait and find out, they're in mama's tummy so we have to wait until they're ready to come out." I tried my best to explain as Sif eagerly ran over to hug Tamsin.

"Is he ready to come out yet? Can you make a boy mama?" she almost deafeningly shouted with excitement.

"I'll try little dude." Tamsin smiled, kissing the top of Sif's white blonde locks before Acacia pulled them both into a hug, kissing Tamsin's head as three generations of Valkyrja stood in a tight embrace.

"Grancacia you're squishing me." Sif sighed as she clung to Tamsin's chest.

"How about me and you go and play in the yard and I'll show you my wings? Grandpa Trick can get the barbecue started too. Right Grandpa T?" Acacia smiled to Trick as he stood from the armchair with a sigh.

"Anything for my girls." he laughed, holding Sif's hand as they walked towards the kitchen giving me and Tamsin some privacy.

"Hey, you're doing great okay? Five more months and we're going to have another little bundle of Fae." I beamed, kissing her soft lips as I breathed her in. Pregnancy hadn't changed her, that was for sure. Her blonde hair sat in a loose bun and the fitted dress showed off the growing curve of her stomach beautifully.

"The lack of sleep is just getting to me a little, I'll be okay." she forced a smile, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. The back-ache and exhaustion taking it's toll.

"I really think you should speak to Lauren T, the nightmares have been so much worse just lately. It's not good for you or baby Fae." I frowned, rubbing her tummy.

"I'll be fine, things will get better. I promise." she acquiesced, holding me close to her body, her hands running through my dark hair as we enjoyed the brief moment of peace and quiet.

. . . . . . . . .

I woke up in a cold sweat again, panting as I tried to catch my breath. 'It was just a dream.' I kept telling myself as I tried to pull it together.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I heard Bo mumble half asleep before she rubbed her eyes and looked at me a little closer whilst I struggled for breath. "Was it another nightmare?" her voice softened as she wiped the sticky blonde hair away from my head.

"I'm fine, I promise." I forced myself to smile as I laid back down on the pillow. "Night." I quietly offered clenching my eyes close, praying that she would leave everything be and go to sleep.

"Tamsin I'm your wife, you don't have to pretend you're okay around me. It's my job to keep you safe." she whispered against the skin of my neck as her arms pulled me closer towards her naked skin, stroking the growing five month bump of my stomach gently.

"It's always the same dream Bo." I choked, trying to hold it back as the familiar fear gripped me by the throat again.

"Talk to me." she offered, her big brown eyes staring at me intently as I pushed myself as deep as I could into the crevices and joints of her body where I felt safest.

"It's always the same, I'm driving the car and that drunk driver comes from nowhere and the next thing I know I'm lying on the road, I want to scream but I can barely whisper and I look down and there's so much blood." I began to breakdown "Just, so much blood Bo." unable to hold it in as I felt her arms begin to rock my shaking frame, hushing away my whimpers as her rhythmic words slowly brought me back to her.

"It's okay, I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe here." she repeated over and over again until I finally stopped shaking in her arms. "I'll never forgive myself for letting you get in the car that day, I should've gone to get the case file for you." she quietly admitted her guilt, stroking my back as I clung to her like she was the only thing tethering me to our bed.

"You know I don't blame you." I hushed her, resting my forehead against hers.

"That's the problem T, you blame yourself. I can't live with that." she croaked, her voice giving way to a wave of emotion. "It wasn't your fault, and if I could take it all back and switch places with you in the car that day, I would." she sniffed.

"Don't say that, don't ever say that. I wouldn't be able to live without you, literally." I pleaded as we both clung to each other in the safety of our bed.

"I want you to get help Tamsin, I want you to talk with someone." Bo gently urged me, holding my hand as I shook my head furiously. It was one thing being emotionally vulnerable in front of my mate, it was a different thing showing emotions in front of anyone else. "I'm asking you to do this, for me. It doesn't have to be a shrink or whatever, but please talk to someone about what's going on. I think it'll be healthy for you and I'm worried about what all this stress is doing to you." she pleaded with me, stroking my hair as she tried to win my round.

"Acacia." I finally whispered after a pause.

"What do you mean Acacia?" she asked, unsure of where this was going.

"I'll talk to my mom, but that's it." I reasoned with her. "I can't do emotion with anyone other than you." I added, digging my feet into the ground as my eyes told her I wasn't budging.

"Okay baby, if that's who you want to talk to." she acknowledged, kissing my temple as my fingers lost themselves in her long brown hair, playing with the locks as we held each other close until sleep finally came for us. "I love you so much Bo." I quietly whispered through the haze of exhaustion.

"Ditto baby." I heard her call back as I drifted to sleep.

. . . . . . .

"I can't even remember the last time you actually came up to Valhalla, the Queen is excited to meet Sif." Acacia smiled.

"Grandma doesn't get excited about anything mom, Sif wanted to see the palaces and I thought it would be good for her to meet some other little valkyries." I explained away, trying to cover the real reason of my visit as Sif clung to Acacia's leg.

"Grancacia, who is the Queen?" Sif puzzled, her little eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the title.

"the Queen is my mama, and your mama's grandma." Acacia softened, picking up my daughter and sitting her on her hip.

"Does that mean you're a princess Grancacia?" she pondered.

"I'm a princess, and mama's a princess and you're a princess too." Acacia explained through an exaggerated whisper, as if she was telling Sif a super secret.

"What about Pappy? Is Pappy a princess?" Sif asked loudly, clearly unsure about whether my dad was in on this whole thing.

"Sometimes he acts like one, but Pappy is the God of War - people fear his nam-" she began to eagerly tell the kind of story you don't expect a grandmother to tell.

"Okay Acacia, I think Pappy - God of War covered it." I closed her down, not wanting my daughter to hear battle legends about our family.

"If we're princesses, why don't we have tiaras?" Sif queried again, clearly uncertain about this whole thing.

Acacia grinned "Because we're warrior princesses baby, we wear armour and the blood of our enemies-" she chirped in a sing-song voice.

"Mom, not helping." I sighed as I covered Sif's ears.

"I tell you what baby, why don't you go and see if Pappy and his friends need help with their battle reenactment plans?" Acacia offered as my daughter wiggled her way free of her grandmother's embrace and bounced around excitedly.

"Will Pappy show me the horsies again?" she beamed, barely containing her excitement.

"Mom, tell me dad didn't let her pet Sleipnir again?" I cringed, recalling the awkward conversation I had to have with Bo when Sif blurted over the dinner table that she played with a spider-horsie.

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous" Acacia shut me down, moving to the counter to pour some coffee as Sif ran off excitedly to find her grandpa. "...he let her ride a centaur." she finished.

"A centaur?!" I growled.

"Oh come on, you know Dave is great with kids! Dave taught you how to ride your first horse!" Acacia exasperatedly sighed.

"Mom, Dave is half man half beast." I scowled.

"Well she loved it, she thought he was Mr Tumnus from that book Bo reads to her." Acacia justified, offering me a cup of coffee as I shook my head and pointed to the bump. "Who do you think I am? It's decaf." she scowled back before I eagerly grabbed the cup out of her hand, missing the taste of my black jet fuel coffee in the mornings. "So do you plan on telling me the real reason you've came all this way to see me?" she disconcertingly asked, seeing straight through my pretext.

"I er- I thought I'd get out of Bo's hair whilst her and Kenzi have a girls day. I thought me and Sif could have our own girls day and come and see you and grandma." I forced a smile, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Bullshit." she fired back, taking a seat at the kitchen table as she gestured for me to join her.

"I don't know what you want me to say Mom." I sighed, readjusting the material of my leather jacket as my large bump awkwardly poked the table.

"Why don't you start with the truth?" she urged me, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Has Bo already spoken to you or something?" I screwed my face, unsure of how Acacia knew I was lying.

"Honey, you look as if you're waiting to be reborn. Bags under your eyes, your hair is getting whiter, you look like crap." she deadpanned as I uncomfortably shuffled underneath her acute stare.

"I've just not- I've not been sleeping well Mom." I sighed, thinking back to the promise I made Bo that I'd speak to somebody else about what's going on.

"You know how important sleep is for a valkyrie don't you? Especially whilst you're pregnant Tamsin, god. You know how much pregnancy takes it toll on a valkyrie's body - you should practically be hibernating right now." she admonished me, pulling my mug of coffee away from me. "No more of this stuff for you. No wonder you've not been sleeping." she sighed.

"It's decaf!" I repeated what she said earlier.

"Tam, why aren't you taking care of yourself?" Acacia point blank asked me, resting her jaw against her hand as she focused intently on me.

"I've just been having a lot of nightmares just lately…" I tried to explain, my words somehow falling short of their intended implications.

"What kind of nightmares?"

"The kind that come after what happened last time." I softly whimpered as I tried to pull back my stoic composure, but pregnancy hormones were taking their toll on me.

"Oh T." she coaxed, pulling me into her arms as I couldn't help but cry against the material of her shirt like I was six years old again.

"I'm so scared Mama." I sobbed, the idea of losing another baby crucifying me.

"When I lost your sister, I lost a little piece of myself." Acacia explained, no hint of emotion laced in her voice as she clung to her stoic composure. "You push through and push through until life starts to make sense again but it always stays with you, it's always there. The fear." she sighed. "I always wanted you to be a warrior like me Tamsin, and you were, you were the greatest warrior I've ever seen… you still are." she let out a slight laugh. "but then you became the kind of mother I could only of dreamt of being. What happened wasn't your fault, bad things happen to people, you lost a child and it was devastating but then you and Bo brought Sif into the world." she smiled, looking out the kitchen window towards our girl who played happily with her Pappy in the garden. "You'll bring this baby into the world too, and this baby will know so much love in it's life, so much happiness, and you need to keep reminding yourself of that. This is the most precious time of your life T, embrace it."

"I just wish I could make the nightmares stop." I admitted, exhausted from the lack of rest that comes with the fear of falling asleep.

"Honey, it's not about making the nightmares stop, it's about knowing they're just nightmares and not premonitions, you're going to be just fine, okay?" Acacia offered, squeezing my shoulders as I nodded my head.

"Love you mama."

"I love you too blondie." she grinned.