Chapter 9
"The silence isn't so bad 'til I look at my hands and feel sad 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly." ~ Owl City
Virginia, four years earlier
"Could you slow down just a little," Alex called to Steve as they hiked along a piece of the Appalachian Trail.
"I thought you wanted to get to the top of the next crest?" Steve said turning around to look at her.
"I think that was your goal. I'm just trying to enjoy my time with you."
"I thought you wanted to go hiking."
"I did, but I imagined we would hike together."
"Isn't that what we're doing?" he asked a bit perplexed.
"I just thought 'together' was more you hiking next to me, instead of ten feet in front of me."
"I suppose you want me to hold your hand too."
"Now that you mention it that would be nice."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, but I know it's not realistic on this trail. Could you just slow down a bit?"
"Yeah, come on."
They continued up the rocky trail and within twenty minutes they reached the crest.
Steve took in the beautiful view. He watched the Shenandoah River twist and turn as it made its way through the maze of endless trees below. He was so captivated by the landscape he didn't notice the tears in Alex's eyes.
Alex was not focused on the view, but on the inevitable fact that this day would soon end. She was overcome with a sense of loss because they would be separated again. The need to be as close to him as possible overwhelmed her. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest soaking in his presence.
"Isn't it amazing up here?" he said, putting his arms around her
She was silent. He cocked his head to the side and with his forefinger lifted her chin. He watched as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.
"Hey, what's the matter?"
"I love you."
"And that's making you cry?" he chuckled.
"I miss you."
"I'm right here," Steve said, wiping away the tear.
"I miss you for all the other times you're not here. I'm just tired of not knowing when I'll see you again. I'm leaving to go on an assignment in two days; you could be gone by the time I get back and then it's anybody's guess when we'll see each other again."
She buried her face in his chest and he kissed the top of her head.
"I love you, Alex," he whispered.
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes.
"Will you love me forever?"
"I don't think I could ever stop if I tried."
"Even when I'm old and wrinkled?"
"I'll love you even more then."
"You can be so sweet sometimes."
He smiled.
"What about you? Can you love me forever?"
"Loving you forever sounds nice."
* * * * * * H50 * * * * * *
Steve stood on the balcony overlooking the ocean, absorbed in his thoughts. Seeing Alex again had really thrown him off balance. People would be shocked that one woman could have such an effect on someone like him, but they didn't know Alex. She brought out a part of him that he kept locked away inside. She made him do and say things that he wouldn't normally do. He knew the night before he had probably seemed desperate; he was.
No amount of training he had gone through could have prepared him for this. During a mission he could carry on, even under extreme conditions and hardships, but he had a difficult time functioning with emotional upheaval. He could deal with a bullet to his chest better than he could a knife to his heart. That is why he rarely let anyone get close to him.
It had taken him most of the night to pull himself out of his despondency, but he knew he had to in order to complete this mission. He was responsible for Alex's safety and he needed to focus on that. He also decided that he and Alex had too much history together to be just friends, but if this was the way she wanted it to be, he would be the best friend she ever had. He determined that he was going to enjoy his time with Alex and not think about tomorrow.
He heard a noise behind him, but he knew it was Alex.
"I have to go out," she said.
"Where?" he said not turning around.
"The mall."
That was the last place Steve wanted to go and the last place he thought she would want to go, but there wasn't much he could do about it.
"You're not going for a manicure are you?" Steve said remembering Danny's comment.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I have to buy a dress for tonight."
"You don't have one?"
"No, did you think I would pack a formal dress for my vacation?"
"I guess not," he shrugged. "How long do you think it will take?"
"Why, do you have somewhere to be?"
"No, it was just a question," he said turning to look at her.
Alex noticed how tired his eyes looked and she felt a pang of guilt because of what she was putting him through.
She pushed away the feeling and said, "Let's just go and get it over with."
"Can you hike in that?" Steve asked, pointing to her clothing.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not sitting in this room all day."
* * * * * * H50 * * * * * *
Steve followed Alex into one of the fashionable women's dress salons at the mall. He was bombarded by the array of styles and colors. He wondered why there had to be so many options.
Alex caught the expression on his face and said, "I bet you are wondering why there has to be so many dresses, aren't you?"
"How did you know?"
Alex smiled, "Lucky guess."
A young attractive sales clerk came over to them.
"May I help you with something," she said to Alex, but her eyes solicited Steve.
Alex's eyebrows rose, "Are you asking me or him, because I don't think he's buying a dress."
Caught off guard by Alex's comment the woman blushed.
Alex continued firmly, "I don't think we need any help at the moment, thank you."
The woman walked away and Steve looked at Alex confused.
"She was just trying to help," he said.
"Yeah, she was just trying to help herself."
"What?"
She rolled her eyes, "You are so oblivious sometimes."
She began to pick through the dresses while Steve followed.
"Is this for real?" Alex said disgusted. "These dresses are hideous."
Steve wasn't sure if she expected him to reply or not, so he kept quiet to be on the safe side.
"I mean do they really expect a girl to wear this?" she continued, holding up a short, multi tiered, bright green dress that looked like a lime popsicle.
"Are you asking me my opinion or are you just thinking out loud?" Steve asked.
"Theoretically, if I were going to wear this dress what would you think?"
Steve didn't know if it was safe to answer that question. Alex wasn't one to get offended at an honest opinion, but he didn't want to chance it.
"I think you look best in blue," he commented.
"I would look horrible was the correct answer," she said flatly.
Steve shrugged and thought that Alex might look funny, but not horrible. She could never look horrible in anything.
For the next ten minutes Alex went through the dresses eliminating one after the other for various reasons. Steve was leaning against one of the dress racks watching as she half-heartedly browsed through the selections.
"Alex, the point of coming here is to buy a dress, right?" Steve asked.
"That is the desired outcome," Alex said, rejecting yet another dress.
"So, why are you so determined to dislike every single one?"
Alex studied him for a moment and then sighed.
"Because I feel like it. I don't want a fancy dress to wear to a fancy party. I'd rather stay in my hotel room in my pajamas and watch an old movie and eat chocolate cake."
Steve smirked; he knew how much she liked anything that was chocolate.
"Then why are you going?"
Alex shook her head and without answering began searching for a dress again.
Steve decided that if they were going to accomplish their mission he needed to find her a dress so they could leave. He had noticed she had bypassed any dress that was blue, most likely because he had suggested it. He poked through some racks and found something blue he thought would look nice on her.
"Here," he said handing Alex the dress. "Try this one."
She eyed him tentatively, but she took the dress and looked it over with her critical eye.
"How did you know my size?"
"Lucky guess," Steve smiled.
"Fine, I'll try it on, but don't expect a fashion show."
Steve tried to hide a smile as she went to try on the dress. He pulled out his phone and made a call while he waited.
Ten minutes later, Alex was purchasing the blue dress. She ignored Steve's look of triumph as they exited the store and walked out into the bright Hawaiian sunshine.
* * * * * * H50 * * * * * *
"Monoa Falls Trail," Alex said reading the sign. "How long is this hike?"
"A little under two miles," Steve said locking his truck. "Not like others we've been on."
Alex didn't want to remember their other hikes, especially the last one.
"This one is actually pretty popular because it's relatively easy and there are waterfalls," he continued. "I would have picked something harder, but I figured I probably shouldn't tire you out before tonight."
"How kind of you," she said sarcastically. "But are you worried it won't be safe, because of all the people?"
"Alex, we just went to the mall; I think we'll be fine."
"Whatever you say."
"Do you think two miles will be too much for you?" he asked teasingly.
"No, I think I can handle it," she said confidently.
"Good. Come on."
They started off toward the trail and Steve set his pace to match Alex's so they were walking side by side. On their other hikes he had always led the way. Alex wondered if he was walking beside her now to better protect her or if he had another reason.
She thought he seemed different today. She sensed something had changed in him since last night. He was relaxed; almost carefree, if she could use that word to describe him.
Alex glanced over at Steve. He caught her eyes on him and he smiled at her.
"Getting tired?" he asked.
"You're not the only one that exercises you know."
"Have you done any hiking recently?"
"No, I don't really have the time."
He nodded and fell silent.
She wasn't about to tell him she didn't like hiking anymore because it was something they always did together.
"So, how do you like your new job?" Alex asked. "I can imagine it gets a little tedious for you."
"I actually like it."
"Really?" Alex said not convinced.
"Yeah, 5-0 is doing a lot of good here and I have a great team to work with."
"I've gathered as much. I just thought…I don't know…I just know how you are."
It was a few seconds before he said anything.
"It feels good to be home again and after what happened to my dad it…it just seems right."
The trail was muddy from the recent rain and Alex was glad she had worn her boots. They passed under an archway of tangled trees and through a bamboo forest until they arrived at a waterfall. Steve was surprised that it wasn't crowded.
"It's a lot different than Virginia, isn't it," he said looking at Alex.
"Yeah…it is," she said remembering.
An older man in his early sixties came up to Steve.
"Could I bother you to take a picture of me and my wife in front of the waterfall?" he asked.
"Sure," Steve said taking the man's camera.
He took a few pictures of the couple and an idea came to him. Alex might not like it, but he was going to take that chance anyway.
"Thank you so much," the man said.
"No problem, but could I get you to take a picture of us," Steve said motioning with his hand between him and Alex.
The man was more than delighted. Steve set his iPhone to take a picture and handed it to him.
"Just press this," Steve said pointing to the screen.
He stood in front of the waterfall and motioned to Alex to join him.
"What are you doing?" she said quietly.
"Just smile."
She did. What else could she do?
"Aren't you two a nice looking couple," the man's wife said.
Alex was sure she was blushing, which rarely happened to her.
The older woman continued, "I remember when George and I were young and carefree. Well, as carefree as we could be when he was in the Navy."
"Margaret, don't start reminiscing now," George said.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. You two remind me so much of us a when we were young."
"That's funny, I'm in the Navy, too," Steve said giving Alex a sidelong glance.
"Really," George exclaimed.
Steve was letting this couple think they were together. Alex knew it was more to keep the couple from embarrassment than anything, but it was making her uncomfortable.
She didn't really hear what the two men said because Margaret began talking to her.
"The Navy can be a hard life. Do you have something to keep you busy when your young man is away?" Margaret asked.
Yeah, I'm a spy, Alex thought. "I'm a writer."
"Really, what do you write?"
"Children's books."
"That's wonderful. I think it is fabulous that people can keep coming up with new ideas for books.
"So, what brings you to Hawaii?" Alex asked changing the subject.
"George and I are on our honeymoon," Margaret smiled. "Well, we've actually been married for forty years, but this is the honeymoon we were never able to take. We married young and we couldn't afford much. George was shipped out frequently and then the children started coming, we have four. The years slipped by and it never seemed to be the right time. Finally, George surprised me with this trip to Hawaii and here we are."
Alex noted Margaret's face was aglow with happiness and she envied her.
"That's really nice," Alex said.
"In today's world many people have the mentality that they always need something new and exciting; or that they can just throw away what they have, including relationships and get something better." Margaret looked over at her husband and smiled. "I've always believed that love is forever, sometimes it takes some work, but it's always worth it."
Alex bit her lip then replied, "Your husband is a lucky man to have you."
"Oh, no, I'm the lucky one."
Alex was feeling sick inside. It was all she could do to keep from bursting into tears. She glanced over at Steve. Had he heard any of their conversation?
The two men finished their discussion and rejoined the ladies.
"Come, Margaret," George said taking her hand. "We have kept these two young people long enough."
"Enjoy your time together, dear; it has a way of slipping by quickly," Margaret said, squeezing Alex's hand gently.
Goodbyes were said and the older couple began walking away hand in hand.
Steve and Alex stood side by side watching them, thinking that could have been them someday. Their thoughts wandered back to that day on the Appalachian Trail and the words they had said to each other.
Even when I'm old and wrinkled?
I'll love you even more then.
Steve's left hand twitched at his side as he desperately tried to keep it from taking Alex's hand. Beside him, Alex was having the same difficulty as she kept her right hand clenched in an effort to keep her fingers from intertwining with his.
A/N: I just thought the idea of Steve helping Alex buy a dress was so funny that I had to write it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews.