Here's chapter 10! So sorry I haven't updated in ages! I'm on half-term this week so should be able to get more done but I can't promise anything! Thanks for all the amazing reviews and everyone who has PM'd me their lovely thoughts! This chapter was quite hard to write as I've only ever been to 1 funeral and I don't really remember it. I've tried my best but sorry for any mistakes! Anyways, enjoy!

"Focus, Tom"

He was stood in front of the wall length mirror, trying on the suit Sam had hired for him. He didn't want to boast, but he must say that he did look quite handsome.

"See, your handsome, an idol, she'll love you!"

He grabbed the hairdryer off the table and began waving it around like he was Agent 007. He began humming the theme tune until he turned around and saw Sam, stood there holding her phone, with a huge smirk on her face.

"I was just, umm, fixing my hair, you know. I mean you do it don't you?"

"Not by playing James Bond! Now come on let's go, status report indicates that we have only 1 hour until the funeral, Agent 007!"

"You're not going to let this drop, are you?"

"And let up the chance to blackmail you? No. And remember, I've got video evidence!"

Only a few more minutes until it's Sam's turn, he thought. She had chosen a short speech, as far as he had remembered, something that she rembered about her dad. He knew that she was never good at holding her tongue, but it seemed when it came to something personal, she could barely say a word.

"And please welcome, his daughter, Sam Nicholls."

Tom gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting her go to the front.

"Hi, I just wanted to say a few words. I could stand here and talk about dad, but instead I would like to read you something. As many of you know, my dad was in the army. He always found it hard to come home to a normal life when so many people live in fear everyday. He then read a poem which became one of his favourites. He knew it by heart and could recite it whenever he felt down. It's called, Does This Darkness Have A Name."

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred. How did it find us, did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us, that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return but knowing some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows; swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"

"Dad always used to tell me that whenever he couldn't explain how he felt. How can you justify what has happened to innocent people? How can you make it right? How can you sit at home, in light and peace, when thousands live and the dark and fear of whether they will survive the next day? You can't. And he didn't. He carried the guilt of knowing that he could change somebody's life, and he couldn't bear that. That's why he joined the army. And now I will forever bear the guilt of knowing that I could have stayed and helped, when I didn't. We all carry guilt, but that will never leave me."

"Tom, what was your dad like?" They had were both outside, walking through the gardens. Sam had wanted some fresh air after the funeral, so Tom suggested a quiet walk, away from all the sympathetic relatives.

Tom was surprised by Sam's question, but all the same felt compelled to answer it. He pulled her onto the bench next to him and began to rub her palm with his thumb.

"He was kind, like yours. He believed in doing the best thing for me. Even though he loved me, he wasn't my real father. I was adopted." He watched Sam's face change in shock but he carried on, "I never knew my real father. Nor my mother, for that matter. I was adopted from birth and all I've ever known was my foster parents. I know they're not my biological parents, but they loved me more than my real parents ever did. It doesn't matter that they're not my real parents, does it?"

Sam shook her head. "I wouldn't care who they were, I'd just want someone to love me."

"I've been thinking. All our loved ones, they're back in Holby. Don't you think it's time to move on from lost loved ones and move to those that can still love us back? I think we should go back to England soon."

"I agree. I can't spend my whole life moping around. I'll book the next flight home."

"Okay"

"Okay"

"Come here." He held for a bit, before wiping away her tears and heading back to the car.

Chapter 10 Done! I know that these chapters haven't really had much drama lately, but that will come later. I'm thinking of writing another fanfic, so look out for that please! Please review and feel free to PM me! Thanks for reading!

Hannah xx