A/N:

ASDFGHJKL OMFG I AM SUPER SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE… FOREVER ;-; I've been reading instead of updating for you guys; I am so sorry for being a terrible person ;-; Also! I'm going to start naming my chapters. WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT EARLIER.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ *GENIUS* (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Disclaimer:

Are Lawliet and Light having kinky masochistic sex in the anime? No? Then I don't own Death Note.

A Shoulder to Cry On

"Light-kun? What do you mean by… r-romantic?" L stuttered; still flushed and dumbfounded by the situation he is in. His oblivious demon grew larger as it ate more insides and organs of L; rummaging for the answers that may lay hidden in him.

'No…Romantic? What does he mean by romantic? Does he have feelings for me? Or is he just being friendly… Why would he say that all of the sudden? Why do I feel like this!?' Feelings of self loathe pumped into his blood. L hated this; he needed to know the answers for his questions so the obliviousness would stop tearing and scarring his insides. So that his self esteem would stop sinking in the depth of hell and rise from the burning sensation that strikes him repeatedly. So that the constant fluttering in his stomach when he gazes at Light would just…stop…

Light dropped a sweat as if breathe hitched; body solid still but mind running at an impossible speed to try to find a lie. Thinking and thinking… He thought being foreign would be a good alibi.

"Well… I thought English people would say things like that to their friends…" Light lacked the correct vocabulary, but he was panicking on the inside, so not sounding professional wasn't his biggest worry at the moment.

L felt a wave of pressure wash off him when he got the answer. He felt relieved, but oddly disappointed. He didn't take consideration of the emotion because he was use to these new feelings. And maybe if he ignored the head pulsating and the stomach fluttering, the feelings would stop. He would try to stop constantly thinking about Light and the annoying feelings would just die down or completely vanish. L loved the thought.

"Okay… It was a misunderstanding. 'English people' would normally say such things to their lovers; definitely not their friends," L slightly mocked Light for his wording.

Light nervously chuckled; fixing his auburn hair that got ruined in the gust of wind from earlier.

"I see…"

Another awkward atmosphere surrounded them; it was almost suffocating. The way the silence dragged on; not making eye contact with each other. But if they did, they would quickly look away. Yes, definitely awkward.

"Should we go sit on the benches, Light kun?" L finally said, once again breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Light nodded; aware that L referred to the benches at the small pond.

So the two students walked back to the pond that they passed earlier. Such an odd pair they were. One deathly pale, with eyes that almost seemed hollow. It was like if you stared long enough, you could start to see right through them; into his brain and read all of his thoughts. They seemed wide with curiosity if you glanced, but really they were only wide with self loathe and just… nothingness. His ruffled hair that stuck out in every direction would make a hairstylist gasp with fright. Hunched spine, panda like bags under his eyes, same oversized white shirt and baggy jeans that hung on his bony hips. L was everything opposite from the boy that he walked next to. He had neat and well cared for hair, unlike L had. His spine was completely straight, unlike L's hunched posture. Light has tanned skin, unlike L's. Everything seemed opposite from people who saw them, but that was only true appearance wise. They were quite alike in thought wise and personality and such. Both were childish; hating to lose. They often shared thoughts similar to each other; like having feelings for one another, but denying the thoughts. They were both puzzle pieces that fit with each other perfectly.

They got to the pond and sat down on the wooden bench seats. Absolutely gorgeous. The whole garden was, really. It would be quite sad not to see such a lushes green garden before the end of your time.

The uncomfortable atmosphere was gone…again…but a small portion still lingered in the air. They made a silent agreement that speaking at the moment would ruin the singing of the birds and the view of their magnificent surroundings, so the two boys just awed all around the pond. After a little while, Light thought it was a good time to speak. Well, at least try again with being L's therapist for the time being and hear the worries of L slip out of his soft… cutely puckered… lips…

Light shook the naughty thoughts… naughty…nasty… thoughts….

Light closed his eyes and internally shook the thoughts and the sexual related words out of his head. He was scared that he was losing his sexual sanity, but really, it was his hormonal need. He ever so wanted to kiss L, but his scarred mind refused… He just found him so attractive; even though he was considered the ugliest boy in the school. Those stupid students were blind.

Even his subconscious is constantly reminding him that falling in love with another person the same gender as him is perfectly normal. That it is normal to feel attracted to a male...

'Liiight…'

Light's internal eyebrows furrowed when he heard the voice of his subconscious. Oh how he hated it.

'Ug, we are the same person, Light. Don't think you can hide those rude expressions and hurtful words.

'Why do I talk to myself…'

'Because you lost your sanity a little while back. And don't hate your subconscious. I am kind of like the thoughts you store in the back of your head; trying to refuse the idea of reality. But bad luck for you, here I am, telling you the truth of your real intentions.'

'*sigh* what do you want to say? I was about to try to help Lawliet…'

'Yea yea, I know. That is the reason I stopped you. I was about to say that if L starts to spill his worries and problems, he will need a shoulder to lean and cry on. Okay? Help him and comfort him. Make him feel safe and hold him closer so that he feels more comfortable. Say your words at the right time and be completely 100% truthful about them.'

'I am surprised that you are not speaking of anything perverted.'

'Because I am talking about something important, but all you're doing is thinking of his soft puckered lips and some nasty naughty thoughts. You can do all the nasty with him if you confesssss…'

'No thankyou.'

Light ended his odd conversation with himself and opened his eyes to only be once again greeted with the green vibrant garden.

Before Light got lost in the view, he said something that would highly make L look over at him with uncertainty.

"L… I am here for you. I am here to make you feel safe, so you don't need to bottle up your emotions and worries. You will feel much better if you released everything, and now that you have me by your side, I will listen."

L did look at him with uncertainty, but replied with something that was unexpected.

"If only you do the same afterwards."

Light gazed at L's eyes, seeing that L wanted him to agree. Light thought about it, and figured that it was fine. At least he can still help L. Though, he would need to lie again about him killing his parents. Before he could respond, L said something more.

"I don't want you to be the only want to make me feel safe. I also want to help you and make you feel safe, too."

Light nodded; agreeing with L. "Okay."

L slowly moved his head down to gaze at his bare feet that fondled with each other as he took a deep breath. He felt relieved that he could talk to someone about his horrible past and be comforted when he needed it. L was grateful for such a kind friend.

"When I was a young infant, my parents were a giddy couple. We were like a normal family… They cared so much for me and did what they can make me happy, so I was very grateful… Then at the age of 5, things twisted from cheerful to dreadful and the cause is still unknown to me. They started to talk less and less… until they fought whenever they seen with each other… so that lead to them not caring about me anymore. I was like a burden." L's breath started to become choppy and his words were slowly filling up with emotion of sadness. Light caressed his back gently; offering comfort.

"M-my father… wanted me to talk to him in his office… I was excited that he actually wanted to speak with me… so I gladly went to see what he wanted to say… Then he locked the door behind me and…"

Light saw streams of tears run down the boys pale cheeks and sink into the soil beneath where his feet would be if he sat normally.

L looked up and stared into Lights eyes. His eyes were slightly red, though very watery. Little tears ran down L's reddish cheeks and dripped off his face at his jaw line. L looked like he pleaded for comfort, even though it was mostly masked by the emotion of sadness, but Light could still see it.

"Light-kun… he… he touched me…" L suddenly hugged Light to his chest and clutched the back of his sweater as he cried into his shoulder. Light put his arms around his back and pulled him in closer.

"L… Don't worry. I am here okay?"

L slightly nodded and continued.

"He raped me… I can still feel his hands on me… and I fucking hate it! I want him gone from my memory… I want the feeling of his hands to stop burning into my skin… I hate it…"

Light's heart shattered and he hugged L in closer; little tricks of salty liquid forming from his tear duct. He was about to cry for L, but he kept his tear in.

L tried to calm his breathing and continued with his depressing life story.

"A little while after, my mother had an overdose of heroine, and my father committed suicide. I was only seven… I wanted nourishment, but I got stuck in this shitty place with all the rude students and teachers. They don't know how it feels to be constantly hated by everyone after being through complete and utter hell. They just love to see me wince when they hit me. They made me feel like nothingness… They made me hide my emotions. But, one class a boy sits next to me. He talked to me and had a concerned expression on his face when seeing my ruined desk. He helped me when I was injured, though he still makes my stomach flutter and it is quite annoying. He opened up my protective walls that guarded… my whole soul… He stood up for me and risked his popularity on the most hated boy in the school. He makes me feel… safe… Thankyou, Light." They hugged as tight as they could, and Light smiled when he heard that L is now a little happier. Light is glad that he could affect L's life so drastically by just being his friend.

They let go of their hug and stared at each other; face close to one another. L's eyes were still puffy, glazed and red, but Light could see the appreciation in them.

Light could feel L's hot breath tickle his face; causing his stomach to stir. Light's subconscious kept repeating the word 'kiss,' but he tried his best to ignore the obnoxious chanting. He watched L's soft lips slowly part, seeming almost like in slow motion. "It is Light-kun's turn now. I want to hear his depressing story," L deadpanned.

Light softly chuckled at L's bluntness and nodded; making more space between their faces.

"Well I was abused by my whole family. They ordered me around; made me clean the entire house and do all the shopping. If I didn't do a good enough job, they would beat me. Or if the food I cooked wasn't what they wanted, they would throw it at me. I just wanted them to love me so I can love them back, but that was not going to happen. Once I…I did something that would cause any father to yell at their son, but for me, I got brutally beaten as my mother and sister watched on the sidelines. I'm not sure what my father hit me with because I was on the verge of dying, but he left an 11 cm scar on my back…"

L's previous smile faded into a frown, but he still stared intently at Light.

"What did you… do?"

'I had sex with another man.' "I had sex with a teacher. I am not sure how my father found out… but he did." Light thought that that was believable. He said before that it would cause any father to yell at their son, so that was sounded truthful. Any father would be pissed off if their son had sex with a teacher. Though, it didn't trick L. He knew this was a lie, which raised more questions, but he wasn't going to ask at the moment.

"Well, like I said earlier, I was out shopping, and when I came back my family was murdered. I ran away and Watari found me."

L narrowed his eyes; finding that this was also a lie. He didn't recognize that this was a lie at the nurse's bed, probably because he was too dumbfounded by the fact of gaining a new friend, but now that wasn't on his mind. He saw Lights eye twitch to the side and the small jolt in his leg, and heard the little hitch in his voice. L knew that he was lying, and he was becoming a little mad that Light is keeping secrets. No, not secrets, he was mad because Light was lying. If he really didn't want to tell L about his past, Light should just say so and not lie. L would understand if Light felt uncomfortable with saying some things, and he wouldn't push to hear his words.

Unfortunately, being lied to caused more and more questions to start bubbling up in L's mind, which he had no answers to. He had to feel the oblivious demon tear his organs open to find the answers; he had to feel self loathe pump back into his veins, and his self esteem lower its self deeper into hell. But now, he feels a new emotion. Disappointment. Disappointment for being lied too.

L mentally shook his head and quickly comprehended why his emotions are suddenly flaring like a woman when she is pregnant.

"L? What's wrong? Why do you look so angry?"

L blinked away the anger in his eyes, and thought if he should tell Light that he suspects that he is lying. If Light told him why he was lying, he won't have to feel the symptoms of being oblivious and that little ball of disappointment in his stomach.

"Light-kun, I think that you are lying."

Light tried not to seem nervous so that L wouldn't be more suspicious, but that is hard when the emotion is constantly flickering in his eyes. He calmed down and thought to himself that he shouldn't act so worried. Light would just lie again, and if L caught him, he would just say that he is a little uncomfortable with saying things from his past…No, that wouldn't work. He already told L how his parents died earlier at the nurse's bed, so wouldn't it raise more suspicion if he suddenly didn't want to talk about it?

Just… Lie.

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that I think that you are lying. It is the small things, really. Your voice changes slightly, you glance away, and you twitch a part of your body." Light froze. He couldn't lie again; L would catch him. How could Light forget that L is a genius? His deduction and observant skills are extremely high too because L is also a detective…

Light could neither lie nor say that he is uncomfortable, so he just stayed silent.

L sighed; taking Light's silence as defeat.

"Light-kun, if you don't want to talk about some things, just tell me. Like earlier, I denied telling you about my past because I was nervous. So when you become more comfortable, I will be here. Remember what I said, if you help me feel safe I do the same for you."

Light nodded with a small smile on his face. "Thankyou, Lawliet."

Then, the old fashioned school bell rang; signaling that the students need to go to next class.

Story time? Story time. *Ahem* Me and my good friend Harmony were on the school field at lunch making story lines for LxLight FanFictions. Then we kind of goofed around and made up a theory that Ryuk eats off a males dick to make the male into a female. When Ryuk eats a dick, that dick length adds onto his dick so he was a mega dick that is like 20 feet long. But if Ryuk doesn't eat off enough dicks, HE would turn into a female shinigami. And so, Harmony made a FanFiction about our theory. So all females out there, you were a male and you had your dick eaten off by Ryuk. Also the way breasts are formed is that the sperm moves up from your ballsack (and then like shrivels and falls off) to your chest and tada! Boobs full of sperm. Imagination is such a wonderful thing.

Once again. I am SO FRIGGIN SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! ;-;! ;-;! Like I said before, I have been reading a lot of LxLight FanFictions and I'm also watching the second season of Orange is the New Black so I've been busy XD