(Bird's POV)
Hmm… the small one is accompanying the big-haired one. Wait, we know what the short one wants! He wants the big-haired one! Now we send telepathic messages to the lizards. Good, it worked.
(Dougie's POV)
Okay, he so wants me right now. I've seen him look at girls like that a million times. Don't be nervous! All I need to do is kiss him again…
(Lizard's POV)
WHOA, yaoi is hot!
(Danny's POV)
Oh, shit, what the hell did I just do?? I just had sex with my hot best friend! No, not hot! I like girls with boobs, and legs, and arses. Hairy tummies, etnies shoes, Hurley sweatshirts…
Shit! I can't be gay!
"Um, Dougie…"
"Yeah?" He looked really happy next to me. I mean, up the arse isn't horrible for a guy. I shouldn't think about these things! I'm not gay.
"That was kind of a fluke, yeah?"
"What do you mean?"
"We all know you haven't had a girl in a while, and I didn't get anyone while I was in your body. We were both just horny."
He didn't say anything for a minute. "Yeah, I get it. I'm the whore, right?"
"Still mates?"
"Right."
(Dougie's POV)
So, I just got, like, the best came-back-to-my-own-body-present ever, yet the love of my life is obviously not gay. Hmm… I need a new boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. No, I'm completely gay. I'm finished with girls. Since all those fans, whores, and downright desperate ones, guys are much more appealing.
I really should come out to the guys. I bet Harry knows tons of gay dudes. Most people think it's him in band. But I'm only going to come out as bi. I'd need to ease them into this. (Okay, so I think Tom might be homophobic, but I'll deal with that later.)
(Harry's POV)
Damn, a band meeting. This is literally cutting into my me time. It'd better be important.
"I think I'm bi," confessed Dougie.
"For real?" asked a disbelieving Tom.
"Shit, was that my fault?" questioned Danny worriedly.
"Did you two, like, do it?" I know if it's yes, the image would haunt me forever, but I had to know.
"We were both hyped up on not having nailed anyone in a while," answered Dougie quickly.
I was suddenly struck with a stroke of genius. "Dougie, there's this girl I like at the CD store, but she said she'd only go out with me if I can get a date for her gay friend for a double type thing." I'm brilliant. I feel like a Force of Nature. If I had a point system, I'd be as least twenty points ahead of everyone else.
"Whoa, I should've come out a while ago!" said Dougie excitedly.
(Tom's POV)
After Harry and Dougie left, I kind of just sat there. People always said there had to be a gay one in a band full of guys, but, you know, I thought we were the odd exception. Like Sugababes! Wait, they're girls, aren't they? Oh! I just inadvertently burned a girl band!
"Have you gone bi as well, then?" I queried of Danny.
"Not at all," he retorted.
"That horrible, huh?"
"No, it was good and everything. Just… different."
"Bad different or good different?" I'm just curious! Not actually into that!
"Yeah… this discussion just turned weird."
"You're the one who did it."
"Touché."
"You know that's French, right?"
"Is it?"
(Danny's POV)
Life's good! Turns out sleeping with my best friend wasn't the worst thing ever. We ended up fine, and I turned him bi.
Maybe guys are only supposed to be proud of turning someone when it's a lesbian to straight. Huh, like I care right now.
Great news! Tom and I wrote a song about gay rights! And it will totally fly with Super Records, because we run it! Ha, burn! And while we was writing, I figured out why Dougie went bi. It's just easier, innit it? If you don't feel like waiting around for a girl, you can just pick up an easy guy. Is that offensive? I shouldn't care. It's not like anyone can see my thoughts at all.
Be all the new gay cracks that are just waiting to be made as it may, Dougie brought home his date, and Harry brought home his. Double date, double nailing. But that guy looks like a sleaze-bag. If he doesn't call Dougie back, he's gonna get the arse kicking of a life time. Actually, I hope he doesn't call him again, because then Doug won't be subjected to the sleazy berk.
Wait, I shouldn't care. Dougie can do was he wants. He's a big boy. Yet his date looks strangely familiar. But I don't need to find out now, because I'll figure it our when Dougie introduces me.
(Dougie's POV)
So Ross, my AMAZINGLY AMAZINGFUL date, is here now, and Danny is making sad faces. It's rather entertaining. And he's not all that amazing, but he's really good in bed…er…in car…er…on car, I suppose. Yeah…that…
So, anyway, I was all like, "YAY" and then Danny walked in and snapped, "Who the fuck is this?"
"My date."
"Who?"
"Ross Jarman. He's a drummer. I always had a thing for drummers." Or I would if they all looked like Danny, but no one needs to know that.
Danny made another sad face. "Oh…do you?" He glared at Ross and Ross glared back.
"I guess."
Ross laughed. "You're just kissing up."
I made a fake sad face. "Maaaaaaaaaybe."
"Why?" Tom asked.
"I said he was cute when he was kissing up." Which he did, sort of. He said it was cute that I kissed up his neck as well as down, which is sort of the same thing.
(Danny's POV)
Stupid Ross. I know who he is now. He's the guy from that band. Stupid guy. I could play the drums and say Dougie's cute if I wanted to. I just know Dougie prefers guitarists. You know, with his obsession with Tom DeLonge.
Not that I'd want to make Dougie like me of course. I'm totally straight. It's just…I think Ross is in it to piss off his brothers. Yeah. That.
Dougie and Ross ran off to his room, and they were keeping me up, which saddened me, so I ran off to Tom's flat.
Harry and his new girlfriend Selena were there, and I spent a long time bitching to Selena about how confused I was, and she told me that maybe I wasn't as straight as I thought, but that is stupid.
(Ross's POV)
I had to leave early the next morning because I had to record something, but just as I was getting breakfast, I found Danny in the kitchen. I couldn't help but think that Danny didn't like me, so I thought I should talk to him.
"Danny, I'm sorry if I've upset you or whatever…"
"Look, mate, I don't give a fuck. But if you hurt Dougie, you're dead."
I think SOMEONE has a crush. Oh well…too late…